by Tawny Weber
“You’ve never cared before what people thought,” he said, unable to let it go. “What changed?”
Her sigh was deep enough to ruffle the leaves on the far-off trees.
“I guess it’s because I don’t feel solid in where I’m at, you know? Usually, I’m focused, on a quest of one sort or other. Then it doesn’t bother me that I’m a novelty to most people. A source of curiosity.”
“But now?”
“But now, I’m not sure what I want to do. For the first time, I have no quest. No purpose. Maybe it’s just my dad’s situation that has me questioning things, you know.” Her voice dropped, then she lifted her chin and gave him a wobbly smile. “What you do, it makes a huge difference in the world. It probably saves the world.”
When Aiden cringed she gave a light laugh before adding, “Gary makes a difference to the town. My dad makes a difference in students’ lives.”
“So?” Those were just their jobs.
“So? I’ve never lasted at anything long enough to make seniority, let alone make a difference.”
Aiden shook his head, baffled that a woman as assured and confident as Sage could think something like that.
“I’d ask if you were kidding, but I can see you aren’t,” he said, brushing his finger over her damp cheek. “I wish I were a poet, or gifted with words. Then I could explain how important I think what you do is. You bring passion and energy to these things, Sage. Whether they are big things that shake the world or not is immaterial. They matter to you. And they matter to others.”
“You really think that?” she asked, her words husky. But her smile was there, just at the edges of her mouth.
Feeling like he’d just escaped falling off a cliff, the tension started seeping out of Aiden’s shoulders as he smiled back at her.
“Of course I think that. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise. You know that.”
There. That should comfort her just fine.
Aiden barely resisted a smug pat on her shoulder.
A good thing, since two seconds later she burst into tears.
Crap.
Crap, crap, crap.
Rarely felt panic gripping him, Aiden looked around, desperate for a solution. An answer. Hell, an escape.
Nothing.
“Sage,” he said. But he had nothing to follow it up with. He lifted his hands, wanting to hold her but afraid she’d cry more.
At his move, she gave a deep, shuddering sob, then lifted her chin. She wet her lips, her eyes locking on his.
“Are you okay?” he asked hesitantly.
“I’m more than okay. I’m wonderful,” she assured him. As she did, her fingers worked some kind of magic at her waist, sending her skirt floating like a purple cloud to her feet.
“What’re you doing?” he asked. Not that he was going to stop her, whatever it was. Anything that involved Sage and naked skin was okay in his book.
“I promised you naughty sexual favors on the walk home, remember?” She let her blouse drop to the gazebo floor, where it pooled on top of her skirt.
Aiden looked around.
They were on her dad’s property, but it wasn’t exactly private. He didn’t see signs of anyone around, though. And, he realized as his gaze shifted back where it belonged—on Sage’s silken skin—he didn’t care.
This was a mistake. Continuing this affair was only going to make ending it harder.
But, ending it was already going to be hard enough. He was sentencing himself to a life without Sage when this was over. So shouldn’t he have a few more memories to get him through that long, lonely future?
That was all sad, sad justification.
Again, he didn’t care.
He wanted her.
Here, now.
Naked.
Slow, intense and hot.
With that in mind, he silently followed her lead, letting his clothes fall to the floor with hers.
They didn’t say another word.
In silence, just the sound of their breath and the wind lightly rustling through the trees, they worshipped each other’s bodies.
Lips slid together, fingers skimmed.
Her nipples pebbled against his palms, beckoning to his mouth. Her body melted against his like a gossamer wish, delicate and sweet and everything he’d ever been afraid to dream of in a life filled with violence.
As he slid into her welcoming warmth, their breath mingled. Their hearts beat in sync.
And Aiden was deathly afraid he’d just stepped over into an emotional minefield that there was no escape from.
But as he watched Sage’s moonlit-dappled face fade into passion, he realized he simply didn’t care.
With her, the emotions, and their cost, were worth it.
11
SO THIS WAS WHAT normal life felt like.
A ten-mile run at daybreak, then breakfast with a buddy at Tilly’s. A visit with the dean at the university to chat about options that Aiden had no intention of taking but was flattered to hear. Now an after-lunch chess game with his mentor.
Aiden wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so content.
Then again, he couldn’t remember ever before having fallen asleep in the arms of a woman like Sage or waking up to a body so incredible, eight mornings in a row.
The run, breakfast, the job offer and even the game were great.
But Sage...
Aiden gave a satisfied smile.
Sage was incredible.
“You seem peaceful. That’s something I’ve rarely seen.”
Seated across from the Professor, Aiden contemplated the older man’s insight and the chessboard at the same time.
“It’s been a good trip.” Wincing, Aiden lifted his gaze and pulled a face. “I don’t mean your illness, of course.”
Lee laughed, the sound almost as hearty as it used to be. That, and the pink of his skin, reassured Aiden that he wasn’t making a mistake heading back to Coronado in a few days.
“Life doesn’t stop because one man becomes ill, Aiden. Nor should your pleasure in that life.” The older man smiled, looking as pleased as if he’d just won the game, found out his fall classes were wait-listed and got his hands on another vintage encyclopedia set to add to his collection. “You’re in a great place in your life. Young, healthy and in love with, if you’ll forgive the bias, a wonderful woman.”
Aiden’s smile didn’t shift. He didn’t acknowledge the tension that gripped his gut, nor did he even blink at the pain that pulsed in his temple. No point.
The other man was right.
About all of it.
Since Aiden wasn’t willing to discuss his feelings for Sage—even with himself—he simply smiled and moved his knight.
“You return to duty soon?” the Professor asked quietly, contemplating his next move.
“I’m due on base Monday,” Aiden confirmed quietly, not sure how he felt about that. Brow creased, he looked across the table at the Professor, trying to gauge how he was really doing. He looked good. He and Dr. Brooke felt his response to the experimental treatments was even better than they’d hoped.
Aiden wasn’t naive. He’d lost people in his life. Important people. So his goodbyes in the past had always included the simple knowledge that he might not see the other man again. More because of the very real hazards of his duty than because he thought the old guy was going to keel over while he was away.
But this time it was different.
“Are you comfortable with me leaving?” he asked quietly.
“Are you comfortable leaving?” the Professor shot back in his typical way. At Aiden’s arch look, he laughed and shrugged. “There’s no reason for you to ignore your duty. I’m in good shape and out of danger for now. There is a very real chance of remiss
ion. I’ve even told the dean that I’ll return to teaching this fall. So yes, I’m comfortable.”
Aiden nodded.
“Besides, Sage is here.”
Aiden’s nod turned into a jerk of his chin. He tried to disguise it by clearing his throat and gave the old guy a searching look.
“You don’t believe she’ll stick around?” the Professor asked with a knowing smile. “Here, in Villa Rosa, I mean.”
“Once you’ve recovered?” Aiden asked. Then he winced, vowing to pay as much attention to his words as he did the game from now on.
“Good point. And an interesting one coming from her fiancé.”
Maybe a little more attention to his words. He could win the game later.
“Isn’t knowing each other well an important requirement for an engaged couple?” he asked.
“I don’t think it’s ever possible to know everything about each other,” the Professor mused. “And as much as you think you know now, you’ll find there’s so much more to learn after the wedding.”
“That’s a part of the adventure, I’d imagine.”
“Indeed it is.” After a long pause, the older man moved his pawn. “But you don’t think Sage will stay in Villa Rosa after the doctor declares me in remission?”
“If you wanted her to, she would try,” Aiden said, opting for the safest response.
“But?”
“Sage isn’t a homebody. She loves seeing new things, exploring the world and meeting people,” Aiden pointed out. “Just because she’s engaged doesn’t mean she’s got anchors on her wings.”
“Marriage might make her reconsider.”
“I don’t think that’s a good argument for getting married then,” Aiden replied, laughing. “Since graduating high school, the longest she’s lived in one place is eight months. I don’t see that changing.”
“That’s been well and good so far, but it needs to change. She hasn’t been happy the last couple of years. Until now, until the two of you became engaged.” Misinterpreting Aiden’s look, the other man waved one hand. “No, no, don’t get me wrong. I’m not putting the burden of my daughter’s happiness on your shoulders. I’m just saying that with you, she seems to have finally found that something she’s always been looking for.”
Or she was faking it really well for her father’s peace of mind.
“Sage missed out on a lot, growing up without a mother. Because I was so involved in my studies, my work, I think she never quite felt grounded. To use one of her new-age terms,” the Professor added with a smile.
Aiden figured it was a credit to the guy’s fathering that he knew the terms, that he cared so much about his daughter that he’d bothered to learn her lingo, her interests. Since the older man didn’t seem to be waiting for a response, Aiden kept his observation quiet, though.
“She’s found that touchstone with you, I think. Which would make it much easier for her to find peace as well.”
“Do you think she’s really looking for peace?” Aiden asked, not wanting to argue but figuring that was the sort of thing Sage was saving for old age.
“I think she could be happy finding it. Happier still if she were settled. A home, a family. A husband who is around to enjoy those things with her.”
Fury hit him like a freight train named jealousy.
“You think she should marry someone else?”
“Oh, no,” the other man protested, leaning forward to give Aiden’s knee a reassuring pat. “Of course not. The two of you, you’re perfect for each other.”
Trying to tamp down the anger, Aiden frowned. What was the old man getting at then?
“But I think that marriage has challenges, any marriage. And those challenges are best dealt with if both parties are together, in one place.”
Aha. Finally caught up, Aiden puffed out a breath.
“Sage isn’t the type to live in base housing. All the buildings looking alike would drive her crazy before she even unpacked. But don’t worry, we’ll figure it out,” he said, making the fake promise sound as sincere as he could.
After all, if they really were engaged, they could easily work that out. Coronado had a lot to offer, but if Sage didn’t want to live there, San Diego was close enough. She loved warm weather and beaches, it was right up her alley.
“I was thinking more along the lines of the two of you settling here, in Villa Rosa.”
“I’m stationed in Southern California.”
Talk about stating the obvious.
But Aiden was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like where this conversation was going, so he figured obvious was the safest option available.
“You know, the dean would be happy to have you teach classes while you finish your degrees, get your master’s. You’re a few classes away from, what? Three separate degrees?”
“Four,” Aiden corrected with a shrug. Some people figured it was his time commitment with the navy that prevented him from finishing those degrees. But the reality was, a degree would mean choices.
Choices it looked like he might have to soon justify not making.
“That’s a nice offer, and I appreciate it. But I’ve got a career and I’m not looking for a change.” He absently moved his rook, then shrugged. “Not in careers, not even in bumping up from enlisted to officer, which that first degree would get me.”
“Don’t you think it’s telling that you’ve avoided taking that step all these years?”
More telling that somewhere in the back of his mind he’d always known that a degree would come along with this exact conversation. And, again, those damned choices.
“You’ve what? Another year in the service?”
“I’d planned on another twenty, to tell you the truth.”
“But you could get out in a year if you had a promising career that would make your new wife happy, don’t you think?”
Aiden stared at the older man over his steepled fingers. For the last dozen years, his mentor had stood in silent support of Aiden’s military career. Now, all of a sudden, the guy was encouraging him to get out? Because Aiden was engaged to his daughter? Or, just as likely knowing Professor Taylor, because he sensed Aiden’s discontent and figured it was time to ask those difficult questions that made his protégé have to think.
“And maybe I spend those next couple of years finishing up those degrees, get my master’s, so I could hit the university with a solid start?” Aiden guessed. Correctly, he saw when the other man nodded. “And while I do all of this, what will Sage be doing?”
He couldn’t imagine her doing anything that made her happy here, in Villa Rosa. At least, not for more than a few months.
Then again, was there anywhere that would make her happy for more than a few months? Despite his earlier words, he was sure Coronado wouldn’t do it. He didn’t think the entire state of California, with all of its vast appeal, could keep her entertained for more than a year.
And while he had no doubt he could keep her happy, keep her entertained, he wasn’t around all the time. Hell, he wasn’t around most of the time.
Aiden glared at the chessboard, wondering if the old man was right. If this engagement between Sage and himself was real, the only way it’d work between them was if he left the military. If he was around, 24/7, to devote himself to keeping her happy.
It was a little terrifying just how appealing that image was. How easily he could see himself leaving the SEALs, giving up his current way of life and settling down here to work his way into being a stodgy old professor.
Then again, how long would Sage be content with a stodgy old professor?
“The two of you will have a wonderful future,” Lee said quietly. “You just have to decide what you want that future to be, then make it happen.”
Right. Because he had not one single viable opt
ion to choose from. But he just had to pick and make it happen.
“Just think about it,” the older man requested with an avuncular smile. Right before he checked Aiden’s queen.
Staring at the board, wondering when he’d lost control, Aiden could only grit his teeth.
It wasn’t that the Professor would ask that bothered Aiden. The guy was just looking out for what he thought was best for his daughter.
It was that the request held so much appeal.
And was as stupid as jumping out of a plane without a chute.
That’s what made Aiden want to put his fist through a wall.
* * *
FILLED WITH NERVES, Sage paced the doorstep in front of Aiden’s cottage a few times, trying to get a grip on herself. She had so much to tell him. It’d be a lot easier if she knew if she was happy, excited or just freaked before she did.
She’d made a commitment.
A big one.
Instead of trying the writing job on for size, a few articles here and there, she’d not only committed to a permanent position but had agreed to scary things. Like insurance and a 401k.
And now she was hoping to make yet another one. This one with ’til death do we part potential.
She had to force herself not to wring her hands and whimper. Instead, she sucked in a deep breath and gave a quick rat-a-tat-tat on Aiden’s front door.
“Knock, knock,” she echoed, opening the door and sticking her head inside.
Oh, my.
Aiden looked as if his day was in an ugly downward spiral, and hadn’t come close to finishing its descent.
Maybe she should leave.
Ensconced on the sofa, he was looking at something. And it wasn’t making him happy.
He gave her a look she couldn’t read. Which made it really hard to know if it’d be better to go in and seduce him into a smile or ask if she could borrow an egg and run.
“C’mon in,” he told her in a chilly tone.
Did she have to? Biting her lip, Sage lifted the basket she’d left on the porch, plastered a cheery smile on her face and went over seduction scenarios in her head.
“What’re you doing?” she asked, setting a basket on the coffee table before joining him on the couch. She tilted her head to look at what was in his lap. “Ooh, I haven’t seen that in a long time.”
