If We Dare to Dream

by Collette Scott

  And he had mocked her life?

  As she muttered her tentative greeting, she wondered exactly what he wanted now. If it was a fight, she was ready. But to her surprise, Ford sounded a little nervous, perhaps even hesitant, when he spoke.

  “Hey, Jame.”

  “Hi.”

  She could hear the sounds of the workers fade in intensity as he moved away from their work to a more private area. She heard a door close and then all was muffled. That had to mean that his reason for calling was serious. She sighed.

  “I was up all night last night thinking about what you said.”

  Jamie stiffened. She was in no mood to deal with a pity party. Unfortunately, she was sure her impatience was apparent in the chilling tone of her voice. “And?”

  “Well, I wanted to talk to you about it. Are you busy for lunch today? I’m at a job out your way.”

  Though she tried to come up with an excuse not to, Jamie knew that to delay would just be putting off the inevitable. Ford would only find her later. “Hold on,” she stalled. “I’ll check.”

  Though her desk was always neat, she made a point of rattling some financial statements in a folder marked for one of her clients to make it appear as though she were busier at work than she was. It was not her usual sort of behavior; usually she was first one to stand up for her pride. However, Ford had hit a sensitive spot the night before, and she was still smarting.

  After a moment of rustling papers, she pulled up her calendar and checked her schedule for the day. Melissa usually took her lunch at 11 am, so Jamie knew she would be there to hold down the fort if she left once her hour was up. That just left any outstanding appointments. To her dismay, she found nothing around lunch.

  “I’m free after noon.”

  “Good. I’ll pick you up then. You can take an hour, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “I want someplace quiet where we can sit and speak like adults. Fair enough?”

  “I suppose.”

  “Good. I’ve got to get to work. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  She hung up her handset and sat back in the soft leather chair. It tipped back as she spun the chair around to view the window and the clear, sunny day beyond. As she expected, the parking lot beyond her window was empty. In the week between Christmas and the New Year, she hardly anticipated anyone visiting her office in the small strip mall containing only a dry cleaner, sub shop and three vacant offices. After all, it could be classified as the slowest week of the year for most businesses with the exception of retail. Why she and Melissa were even working escaped her understanding; they should have just closed up for the whole week. Chances were pretty good that no one in corporate would even have noticed.

  As if on cue, she heard the front door to her small office open and Melissa called out her morning greeting. Jamie continued to rock as she returned the greeting, wondering exactly what Ford was going to say that struck him as so important.

  The phone rang on her desk again. The number was not one she was familiar with, so she replaced her nervous anxiety with professional calm and answered. “Jamie Morton,” she said smoothly.

  Ford and her worries would just have to wait. She had work to do, and it was important that she focus. Focus, Jamie, focus!

  She managed to do just that, all the way until Melissa ran next door to order a sub for lunch. The vibrant twenty-year-old she hired on to help her around the office and work as secretary had proven a Godsend to her. Melissa had completed high school with a year old daughter and currently worked full-time to provide for her and her baby. She had started taking classes at a local community college three evenings a week in addition to working. Though Jamie had initially been skeptical about hiring the young, petite blonde who was definitely over-stressed for her age, her ambition to do well for her daughter had cinched the deal. Jamie had not regretted her decision once.

  Always prompt, Melissa returned with her sandwich and worked on her homework for exactly one hour before calling out to Jamie that she was done. It was right at that moment that Ford came strolling in the door, and Jamie scowled at their punctuality. She still had two phone calls to return. The stock market had dropped again, and one of her highest maintenance clients was in a panic. Another client with a 529 college savings plan needed to make a withdrawal and could not get the website to work. So much for a quiet week between Christmas and New Year’s, she thought peevishly.

  When Jamie held up a hand to stall Ford, he nodded and busied himself at Melissa’s desk. The pleased assistant colored under his attention, as she did for all four of her brothers. Admittedly, they were a handsome group of men, and Melissa’s crushes changed whenever one stopped by. Jamie grinned as she reached for her handset knowing that Ford would be Melissa’s next flavor of the week by the time she was done on the phone.

  Granted some peace, she hurriedly returned her calls, luckily leaving a message for her high maintenance client and then walking her other one through the website in record time. She was done and had her handbag over her shoulder by ten past the hour. Ford nodded coolly as she came to her feet and then bestowed Melissa one of his friendliest smiles.

  “It’s good to see you again. Make sure you give Zoe a big hug from me.”

  Melissa beamed excitedly that he remembered her daughter’s name. “Of course, Mr. Evans. Thank you very much.”

  “See you in an hour,” Jamie said over her shoulder as she passed.

  “Take your time,” Melissa called back cheerfully.

  While she wanted to shout back that this meeting was not going to be pleasant, Jamie glanced instead at Ford. He brushed past her and pushed the door open gallantly, even stepping aside to let her pass. Her suspicion increased. There was no doubt about it; he was definitely up to something. She only had a few minutes to figure out what exactly that could be.

  Thankfully, Ford cut straight to the chase as soon as they climbed in his work truck. “I thought a lot about what I said to you last night and want to apologize. It came out all wrong, and I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

  Taken completely by surprise, Jamie fumbled with her seatbelt. It slipped from her fingers and snapped back with a whishing sound that echoed throughout the now silent cab. Ford watched her reaction cautiously while Jamie licked her lips. Her suspicions had not eased despite his uncustomary apology.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I understand that you’re angry. I don’t blame you.”

  “So why are you apologizing?”

  “It was the right thing to do,” he said shortly.

  Inserting the key into the ignition, he turned his attention to driving. It gave Jamie time to ingest what he was saying, and one thought popped into her head causing her eyes to narrow.

  “You spoke to Isabel,” she said in an accusing voice.

  Easing the truck to the exit, Ford sent her a quick glance. She also noticed that his cheeks colored slightly. “Yes… She wasn’t very happy to hear all of our raised voices last night. But actually it was Ian who laid it on the thickest. He had some very valid points about everything.”

  “Like what?”

  “You have done pretty well for yourself, really. I know losing Mom and Dad so close together was harder on you than any of the rest of us, save maybe Ian. Even though you were in high school, you were still a kid. Having to watch them…” He paused, unable to speak the words aloud. “You were the one who really took care of them. First Dad; then Mom. Losing two parents to cancer in a space of three years could’ve turned you into quite a different person… But you’ve done well.”

  Twisting in the soft bucket seat until she was facing Ford, Jamie stared at him in surprise. Hearing him say the words aloud, words none of her brothers had ever admitted in the past, was a huge deal to her. She could feel the emotion rising, even though Ford was not done.

  “You went off to school, you got your degree, and you met a guy who most likely was a good catch initially. No one should blame yo
u for his weaknesses; in fact, you should be commended for not falling into the same lifestyle. It’s pretty amazing that you didn’t. Instead you tried to help him overcome it for a year before you said enough was enough.”

  “Wow,” Jamie said aloud. “I’m stunned.”

  Easing off the gas at a red light, Ford glanced in her direction. “Just because I don’t always say it doesn’t mean I don’t think it. I’m very proud of what you’ve become. That’s why I wanted to straighten this out. I don’t want you to think I believe you’re a train wreck, Jamie. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

  “Ian told you to say that?” Jamie sputtered.

  Apparently her reaction was not what Ford expected. He nearly missed the turn into the restaurant parking lot. “What? No!”

  Finding a spot at the back of the lot between a red Toyota and black Mercedes, Ford squeezed in deftly and shut the truck down before turning his attention to her again. “No, I’m saying this.”

  Jamie hid a smile behind her hand. “Where is all this coming from then? I’m confused.”

  “What Ian did convince me of last night is that you would never have mentioned running into this guy if you weren’t convinced it was really him... I have to agree. You’ve more than proven that you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and aren’t some floozy that would come up with such an elaborate story unless you were absolutely convinced of the truth.”

  “Of course I’m not!”

  “I know that,” he said hastily before her temper could rise further. “After you left, Ian convinced all of us that you had a serious problem. While none of us really like the idea of you getting involved, that’s because we worry for our own selfish, overprotective reasons.”

  “At least you admit it.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, well don’t think I’m going to stop either. I’m the closest thing you’ve had to a dad for the last fourteen years.”

  She had to agree. It was Ford that had stepped up when her parents had died, moving with Isabel back to the States from Isabel’s home country of Italy and beginning his business, which thankfully had boomed soon after. Ian was graduating high school, Hayden was already in college, and Grady was in law school at the time. With five kids born within eight years, it had been left to Ford as the eldest to come home and make sure the remaining siblings completed their education and dealt with the trauma of losing both parents in a healthy manner.

  “At any rate,” he continued. “I called Chuck this morning and talked to the others. Chuck thinks you need to speak up, and we all finally agreed that if you want to come forward we’ll help you in any way we can. So that’s why I’m here – to help you decide how you want to proceed.”

  Instantly forgiving her brother, she leaned across the center console and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you for understanding.”

  He chuckled and awkwardly patted her back. “We can’t let you do this alone, kiddo.”

  “I’m scared; I don’t know what to do.”

  “Well, that’s what we’re going to talk about at lunch. We’ve got to decide how you should go about this. Hopefully you’ll do the right thing, and hopefully three years in prison hasn’t ruined this guy. Come on, I’m starving.”

  Chapter 4

  Within two months of his incarceration, Andrew’s anxiety peaked into frequent night terrors and a brief period of hallucinations. For a time his depression was so great that he feared he might just give in and give up. One by one his closest remaining friends had turned on him, given him their back and denied his existence. The hardest blow came from Adam, his brother and the single person he never expected to turn on him in disgust. After all, they had done everything together. Andrew had raised Adam, protected him, and no one knew him as closely as Adam did. But no one wanted to associate with a murderer, not even his own flesh and blood.

  Therefore, Andrew reached rock bottom when Adam refused to speak to him. He had been deployed a second time to Iraq, and Andrew knew that the first tour already had left its scars. Always concerned for his younger brother, he had written Adam a letter of warning and received one back. Adam advised that because of Andrew’s situation, his career in the military was at risk. In the same letter, Adam asked him to please stay out of his business and not contact him again.

  Even Jamie’s face was not enough to bury the bitter pain and despair Andrew had felt when he read those words. Of everything he had faced in his life so far, losing the brother he had protected since his birth was the most brutal blow.

  When Andrew was ten, three-year-old Adam was admitted into the hospital for the first time. The broken arm and six stitches in his head were explained away as a bike riding accident rather than revealing the truth. However, Andrew knew the truth that Adam was thrown down the stairs after spilling the beer belonging to their mother’s new friend. This man had proven to be even more violent than the others, and because their mother liked the drugs he brought her he stayed longer.

  Though Andrew was not immune to the friend’s anger himself, his mother’s unwavering defense of him and willingness to blame Adam no matter how many times Andrew admitted fault left him virtually unscathed. He had long ago given up hope that his father would return with his easygoing smile and ready laughter to save Adam from the torment. As his mother constantly reminded him, it was up to him to be was the man of the house.

  So he did accept fault for putting his three-year-old brother on his bike and causing the accident that landed him in the hospital with a swelling brain and a broken arm. At the time, he just wished he could have been the one to have taken the blow, and he had wished he was in the hospital bed instead of his brother.

  Losing Adam’s support had nearly been his death blow. He had gone off to war again, and Andrew remained behind with his life in tatters and branded a criminal, knowing that he may never speak to him again. Knowing his brother considered him guilty was unbearable. As another holiday season approached with no word from him, Andrew realized the truth. He had nowhere to go and no way to win. Without the desperately needed support, he had enough and made the call to his lawyer.

  “I’m done fighting this.”

  On the other end of the line, Darren Walters gasped, but all Andrew could hear was the happy sound of laughter in the background. It irritated him to hear people enjoying the holiday season. When was the last time he laughed? It did not take him long to figure it out for he knew the answer immediately - that evening with Jamie.

  “You can’t give up, Andrew. You just have to be patient.”

  “It’s not worth it, and frankly I don’t have any hopes of ever seeing this overturned.”

  “But Andrew, you have to have faith in me.”

  “I’ve lost all faith.”

  The sound of a door closing, blocking out the sunny laughter that Andrew wanted to take part in but could not, indicated that Darren had moved into a quieter spot. Andrew tensed for the argument.

  “What you’re going through is normal,” Darren said patiently. “But you can’t give up now. Just accept these feelings and know they’ll go away soon enough.”

  “Nothing is going to change the fact that I’m here. Nobody cares that I was willing to give up my life to serve them. All they see is a man who went crazy.”

  “I believe in you, Andrew.”

  But Andrew did not hear his final comment. He hung up the phone and returned to his lonely existence.

  ***

  The last brother to come over to Jamie’s side was actually Ian, and when he arrived that evening the other brothers were already on the back patio with her. These family meetings had occurred multiple times over the years since their parents had passed away. Though Jamie had not participated in all of them, she could honestly admit that neither was she the cause of them either. One of the first she had attended was regarding Hayden’s decision to drop out of college in favor of selling cars for a living when their parents had died. Grady had been the most adamant at that time, speaking out forcefully th
at his decision was completely ridiculous and there was no way he would stand by and allow Hayden to give up his full-ride scholarship. Hayden had not spoken to Grady for six months following his uncustomary show of temper, but he had caved in and returned to school – after the girl whose father owned the dealership and he broke up.

  Ian had been the subject of a meeting as well. His meeting was not regarding a dramatic life change. Instead this had to do with his purchase of a motorcycle as an emotional response to the ending of his relationship with his high school sweetheart, Kat. Jamie spoke out that time to say that she feared her eighteen-year-old brother on a bike, feared that he would never ride with his helmet and take unnecessary risks. Though her words went unheeded and Ian still bought the bike, he later approached her and thanked her for her concern.

  Even Ford had been the subject of a family meeting. When he decided to invest a portion of their trust fund into his business, he was concerned about the impact to his marriage and their opinions of him should everything fail. They had all voted for him to proceed, and he had gone on to become a very successful builder in his own right. It had been a good choice.

  Now it was her turn. The brothers immediately went to work, each grabbing a chair and taking a seat around the fireplace and each holding a small plate with their appetizers on it.

  Grady spoke first between bites from one of the crab cakes Isabel had brought out. “I’ve gotten us an appointment for Thursday afternoon with a defense lawyer in the city. Can you clear your schedule, Jamie?”

  “What time?”

  “Tentative for one. I can change that time if you’re too busy. Surprisingly, he’s free all afternoon for us.”

  She pulled out her phone and plugged the appointment in her calendar while mentally making a note to confirm her work schedule in the morning. Though she was confident Melissa could handle the office on her own for an afternoon, she also made a note to confirm her plans with her. Once she had everything entered, she glanced up at Grady. He was happily chewing, and his jaw worked steadily as he in turn glanced over at Hayden.