by KC Burn
CALEB SAT in his truck, watching as Francesca’s sporty little red coupe pulled out of the parking lot. As he suspected, the date was over early, although not nearly as early as he’d anticipated. Nevertheless, he was facing a long Friday night, wishing he’d been able to take Raven out on a date. Francesca had been a refreshing surprise, and he had hopes for a friendship with her, but that didn’t change how much he wanted to be with Raven. Wondering if this crazy attraction signified the start of something real or if it was simply a flash in the pan was driving him mental.
Normally when he felt this restless, he’d head out to Club Gallo or Parliament House with Jaime, intending to get laid. Jaime almost always scored, but Caleb rarely did. Still, he usually found the sensual atmosphere of dancing close up with half-naked men, sweating under the strobing colored lights, helped relieve some of the tension, at least. Not as much as an actual orgasm, but dancing never gave him regrets. Except he knew that the restlessness scratching under his skin couldn’t be fixed the same way. Dancing wasn’t going to make anything better, and having an orgasm with someone who wasn’t Raven didn’t seem right. Not when he’d come so close, and not when he was thinking about something more than a shared orgasm or two.
Finding out what Jaime was up to would likely put him back in a club. Watching a movie at a theater by himself, especially since it would be crowded with couples, held no appeal. Going home and watching TV or reading a book with a beer or three—his normal way to spend time—didn’t interest him either. There was no way he could concentrate, not with this weird energy making him almost anxious. He needed a fucking hobby. For a second, an image of himself knitting a sweater came to mind, making him laugh. Not only would that effectively out him to his family, he didn’t require a whole lot of knitwear in Orlando. For all that he’d been born and raised in Florida, he must have more of his dad’s northern blood in him than his mom’s, because it almost never got too cold here for him. Never got cold enough, even.
The text notification on his phone went off, and he scrambled to pull out his phone. Funny, he hadn’t even realized in the restaurant that he’d been checking it regularly. Raven’s response was normal, just saying things were good and he’d text after the evening event.
What the hell. There was only one thing he’d wanted to do tonight. Caleb started his truck and pulled out onto the road, heading for the resort where Raven was working.
Nothing wrong with wandering around the public areas of the resort. If he ran into Raven, it would be a happy coincidence, or he could simply watch Raven work. He doubted any of the hotel staff would care, especially if he bought a couple of drinks at the bar. After all, he was practically a fixture at that place anyway, due to their ailing A/C units.
CALEB LEANED against the wall just inside the conference portion of the resort, beer bottle in hand. It hadn’t been hard to figure out where to go. He’d never seen so many women all in one place; aside from a few staff members, the ratio of women to men at this event had to be about two hundred to one. In fact, he’d already passed by two public men’s restrooms bearing signs informing any men needing facilities to find them back in the main part of the hotel. Guess that made sense. He’d even heard a couple of the conference attendees joking about the “modesty screens” in front of the urinals, as if their delicate sensibilities would be offended by the sight of them. From the extremely explicit conversation that followed as they discussed some plot point or other, Caleb had to agree. An empty urinal was quite tame.
As tempted as he was to wander around, looking for Raven, braving the hordes of women without a lanyard around his neck was just asking for trouble. He’d already gotten enough curious glances, probably by virtue of his gender alone. He’d also gotten a few rather more heated looks, but he had enough experience to not invite any follow-up from those women.
Funny—over the years he’d seen evidence of dozens, if not hundreds, of conference hookups in his work at the hotels and resorts. There was a furtive air about those who were strangers who’d met at conferences and took advantage of time away from significant others to indulge in illicit one-night stands, or mini-affairs lasting the length of the conference. Caleb didn’t approve, but neither was it his place to judge. At this conference, though, he suspected the ratio of “conference affairs” might be lower.
From his vantage point, he could see through the open doors of two conference rooms, and into a third if he craned his neck a bit. No sign of Raven in any of them, but it appeared as though all three workshops or presentations were wrapping up. For all he knew, Raven’s gig was at the big ballroom at the end of the hall, and it would take more than one beer to give Caleb enough liquid courage to brazenly walk down there.
Also, he was starting to wonder about the wisdom of showing up here. Hell, the event manager who’d hired Raven was a second cousin, and he was the main reason this resort had been Caleb’s first maintenance contract when he’d opened his own business. Paolo didn’t go to Caleb’s frequent family events, but they ran into each other at weddings, funerals, and graduations.
Explaining what he was doing here wouldn’t be easy, but with a group this large, Paolo would have too much actual work to do to worry about him. He hoped.
Faint swells of music floated down the hall, the tune and even genre unrecognizable over the dense wall of sound that hundreds of women milling about could generate. Not that he thought men would be any quieter in such a situation, but there just weren’t any here, contributing to the cacophony.
The three conference rooms he had his eye on emptied out, and the stream of attendees headed for the ballroom. He checked the time. Presumably the evening event started at nine, and it was intended to apply to all attendees.
God. This wasn’t like him. He wasn’t a risk taker. Not really. Being gay and hiding it from his family was probably the riskiest thing in his life, and it wasn’t like the attraction to men was under his control. It just was—hardwired into his DNA.
But something told him Raven would be in that ballroom, and he’d already come this far. Hopefully this didn’t fall under the category of weird stalking behavior, regardless of whether Raven saw him or not. Ideally, he’d just look his fill, see if that would settle him, then go home for his regular Friday evening of TV or reading.
With any luck, his saunter looked casual and didn’t betray the uptick in his pulse, nervousness like he hadn’t experienced since high school. Caleb’s locker had been beside the locker of Aaron Erikson, the football team’s star running back. The way he’d felt about Aaron removed all doubt from Caleb’s mind about which side of the spectrum his sexual orientation fell.
That flutter of nerves he’d first experienced in Aaron’s presence had returned with Raven, stronger but far more welcome because it wasn’t accompanied by the shame, fear, and dread that had colored Caleb’s adolescence.
He hadn’t been so… hopeful… about a guy in forever. Though if his deep-seated hopes somehow came true, he imagined there’d be a revival of the shame and fear as well, since he wasn’t ready to kill his mother’s dreams of grandchildren. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready for that.
Shaking his head, he let himself get swept up in the sea of women entering the ballroom. No sense worrying about something that might never happen. In the meantime, he could just enjoy getting to know Raven.
For whatever reason, his lack of lanyard was overlooked, and Caleb sauntered slowly to a darkened corner, where he continued to sip from his beer. The ballroom wasn’t bright, by any stretch, but neither was it as dark as a bar or club, making it easy to scan for Raven’s sexy head of hair.
Over in the corner, a kilt caught his eye, and his cock half plumped in a Pavlovian response—good thing that didn’t have the possibility for humiliation—before he realized the kilt adorned an attractive man, but not the one Caleb had come to see. The odds of two kilted men randomly showing up at the same event seemed far-fetched, so presumably this guy was part of the modeling job Raven was here
for.
No one seemed to be participating in any sort of organized event, and most of the women had taken up a position in two rather long lines for bartending stations at opposite ends of the ballroom. Caleb was fucking thankful he’d brought a beer in with him from the bar instead of attempting to wait in one of those lines.
He continued to scan the room but kept an eye on the kilted man in the hopes Raven would be joining him, and he was soon rewarded for his patience.
One of the staff doors opened, and Raven walked through. And yet, that didn’t explain it nearly well enough. The other guy in the kilt had certainly gathered some attention from the throngs of women in the room, but when Raven arrived, it was almost as though the whole room sighed in longing. Or maybe that was just him.
God. The half-naked, kilted Raven in his hotel room with mussed hair and sleep creases had been scorching hot, but the Raven he saw now was something else altogether. Almost unworldly in his beauty—and no, Caleb had never regretted the creative-writing elective he’d taken when getting his college HVAC technician diploma—Raven was simply stunning. Black dress shirt, bright red plaid kilt, and hair that matched both. Raven looked almost regal, but his smile was approachable. Except Caleb knew if he’d seen Raven like this for the first time, he’d never have dared kiss the man like he’d done a week before.
He’d never have had the courage to just start kissing a man like that, like he somehow had a right, like he was in the same fucking league.
But standing here in the shadows, he could watch Raven forever.
A flurry of activity near the podium as a number of the writers sat down at the tables told Caleb he’d pushed his luck far enough and it was time to go before someone realized he didn’t belong here. Watching Raven for a few minutes would hold him until… well, not until next weekend. He’d have to see if maybe Raven would be interested in a midweek date. Next Saturday was a whole week away, and Caleb didn’t want to wait that long. But he’d have to be content for the weekend, at least. He certainly didn’t want to interrupt Raven while he was working. That would be shitty of him for a number of reasons.
He drained the last of his beer, set it down out of the way, and headed out of the resort, smiling widely at everyone he passed. Such a small thing to have buoyed his mood, but he couldn’t deny it had.
Chapter ELEVEN
RAVEN PACED nervously, kicking loose gravel as he did so. His sedate silver car acted as a shield between him and the front of the restaurant, but it wasn’t like he was hidden—he just wished he was. Hell, he was so fucking freaked out he was almost ready to run into the bushes and hide behind some trees. Not as bad as the freak-out he’d had in the hotel room after Caleb had slid a hand up his kilt, and not bad enough to risk a run-in with the dangerous and toothy Floridian wildlife that could lurk in the foliage, but pretty damned close.
What the fuck was the protocol for this? He’d never been on a real date, and he didn’t know what to do. Getting here ten minutes early only gave him more time to fret, and yet arriving late would have been worse. He pulled out his phone and checked it yet again. Nothing from Caleb canceling. The thick humidity in the air and scudding black clouds blocking the sunset foreshadowed an awful night.
Desperate, he called Will, who didn’t even bother to say hello.
“Aren’t you on your date? Why are you calling me?”
“I don’t know.” Liar. Anxiety was like a physical entity, bloating bigger and bigger until he’d collapse under it. “Maybe I should just go home. He’s probably not going to show up, anyway.”
Raven froze. He’d never voiced anything so lacking in self-confidence. The silence on the other end had to indicate Will’s shock as well. When he started speaking again, there was a gentleness in his tone, like he was trying to tame a cornered feral animal.
“I can tell you like this guy. And I think he likes you too.”
“How can you know that? You’ve never even met him.”
A note of exasperation trickled through Will’s sigh. “You’ve never been on a date before, so you wouldn’t understand.”
Raven was starting to rethink the wisdom of having shared that nugget of personal information while they’d been working at the romance-writers event, but it had been easy to talk to him, like he’d always imagined having a friend would be. “What does that have to do with anything? Aside from making me a neurotic mess.”
“You’d made arrangements for over a week away. A few days later, he calls to make a midweek date.”
“Yeah, but isn’t that just a booty call?”
“Okay, yes, it could be. But it sounded like he still wants to go out on Saturday—he just didn’t want to wait a whole week for your date. That sort of eagerness bodes well. And I’ve had more than my fair share of shitty dates. If it were me, I’d be encouraged.”
Taking a few deep breaths, Raven tried to calm himself. “Okay, that makes me feel better. But he’s not here yet. How do I know if I’m being stood up? Where should I wait for him?”
How had he gotten to the age of twenty-eight and not have any idea how to go on a fucking date? He was pathetic. Crippled and pathetic. Caleb was going to be all over that, for sure. So fucking not sexy.
“He’s got another five minutes before he’s even on time. So relax about that. Go into the restaurant and grab a seat at the bar. One where you can see the front door. Have a drink. Do you know where he’s coming from?”
Raven shook his head before he realized he had to reply with actual words. “Home, I think, but I don’t know for sure.”
“According to the news, I-4 is fucked up again, so I’d give him a thirty-minute cushion. If he’s not there at half past, pay your bar tab, hit a drive-through for some food, and come over here. Then we’ll talk about what an idiot he is for missing out on such an awesome, sexy guy.”
Will’s plan was enough to make Raven smile, easing some of the uncomfortable tension in his chest. “Thanks. If you don’t hear from me in an hour, you’ll know he showed up.”
“And I’ll expect some details tomorrow. Now get in there and order a drink.”
“Thanks.” Raven hung up before he asked if he’d be expected to have sex. He wasn’t even sure anyone went out on platonic dates with people they were attracted to, outside of PG movies, but he’d already displayed more ignorance about dating than he’d like.
He shoved his phone away, threw his shoulders back, and strode into the restaurant. The appreciative looks helped bolster his sagging self-confidence somewhat, as did the bartender’s alacrity in coming to take his order. Some might think that was due to the lack of customers; Mondays weren’t the most popular days in most cities, but this was late summer in Orlando. Tons of tourists packed entertainment venues, regardless of the day of the week. Granted, the place wasn’t as busy as it would be on the weekend, but there were enough people here that Raven’s quick service had a lot to do with his looks.
Vanity was a sin, but sometimes he didn’t think he had much besides his face to rely on.
Only his willpower kept him in his seat in an approximation of a man relaxed and comfortable with his own company.
FUCKING TRAFFIC. Caleb scrubbed his face with his hands. Of all the days to get stuck at a job, this was one of the worst. Between the late job and the shitty tourist traffic, Caleb was late to meet Raven, and sweating from stress. He hadn’t wanted to text or call because he’d been on the highway, but he’d—foolishly—held out hope he’d squeak by in time. Fifteen minutes late. Was that too late? Was Raven still here? More to the point, how many guys had swooped in, hoping to attract Raven’s attention? Assuming he hadn’t left.
Despite the overcast sky—they were going to get a downpour soon—it was still way lighter outside than inside, and Caleb had to stand for a moment to let his eyes adjust.
“Did you need a table?” The hostess had her fingers on a stack of menus while she looked expectantly at him.
“Maybe. I’m meeting someone here, but I’m a litt
le late.”
“I don’t have anyone seated waiting, but please take a look in the bar.”
Caleb dredged up a smile, but her words didn’t inspire any confidence that Raven was here.
“Thanks, I’ll do that in a second.”
First, he pulled out his phone, checking to make sure he hadn’t missed any messages from Raven. God, he hadn’t done this in so long. His last “relationship” had lasted almost three years, but with Everett in the closet with everyone, not just family, they didn’t spend a lot of time hanging out in public. Not under the guise of a date. And he’d broken up with Everett almost two years ago. Since then, the few dates he’d been on had been a means to an end, or more to the point, a means to a cock attached to someone else.
Nothing on his phone, and he was putting off the inevitable.
Although he wanted Raven more than he’d wanted anyone in a long fucking time, Raven tugged at the part inside that wanted a family. Wanted someone to love. He couldn’t deny that this was the first date he’d been on since Everett that he even had hope for, even though hope was stupid to have when he’d never be able to come clean to his family. Not while his mother was still alive, anyway, and she’d be here for a long, long time, God willing.
One second. It took all of one second of really looking for Caleb’s eyes to be drawn to Raven’s almost goth beauty.
Again he was struck by the serendipity of meeting Raven the way he had. Raven sipped at a bubbly red liquid, looking so calm he bordered on haughty. Like everyone was only there to worship him. Weirdly, Caleb wanted to be among them, but if he’d come into this bar not knowing Raven, he’d have done nothing more than worship from afar rather than risk getting shot down.
