e Squared
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We’ll see you tomorrow. Love and best wishes,Jan
marquee.co.uk
Author slams Dordogne movie
Simon Horne, the author of the runaway bestseller Dordogne Twilight, has denounced the forthcoming screen adaptation of his book. In an extended j‘accuse against Tim Bevan, Working Title and the British film industry in general, Horne said: “I wrote a searching and sensitive study d’un étranger sur une terre etrange-a Robinson Crusoe for the third millennium, if you will. My vision has been sullied and cheapened, transformed into vulgar slapstick for an audience of flatulent, lager-swilling knuckle draggers.”
Acknowledgments
Roll Credits:
Clare Conville.....Elizabeth Taylor Larry Finlay ................................................Mel Brooks Katie Espiner .............................................Kate Winslet Kate Samano .............................................Kate Winslet Emma Buckley...........................................Kate Winslet Aislinn Casey.............................................Kate Winslet Gavin Hilzbrich.........................................Kate Winslet Nadia Kashper ...........Kate Winslet (playing American) Monique Henry ...................................Emanuelle Béart Alan Jarvie................................................Gary Cooper Kazu Makino.......................................Blonde Redhead Philip Edgar-Jones .............................................Himself Kirsten Richardson..................................Kirsten Dunst Holly Beaumont........................Vanessa Anne Hudgens Maria Beaumont..................................Jennifer Aniston
Thank you to all of the above, but especially to Maria. If my name were ever to appear on a movie poster (it might happen), Maria’s would be printed above it, and in much bigger type. It would be a contractual thing. But also deserved.
1 Diet sponsorship form on my desk for anyone that hasn’t yet signed up. It’s for PETA—Caroline’s favorite charity, so a v.v. worthy cause!
2 Terms and conditions apply. Offer not available to customers outside UK and those currently serving prison terms.
3 Which means at least 26 people scrolled to the bottom! You want the names? (FYI, the 27th tosser reckoned excessive scrolling caused the failure of his mouse!)
4 This is absolutely non-negotiable. He suggests we put it in the Creative Romper Room.
5 Technically a belly flop, but that is arguably the riskiest of all entries, and one that continues to be criminally overlooked by the IOC. When will they accept that two fat blokes doing synchronized flops would be the blue-ribboned Olympic event?
6 Michelle is not a real person. She is a character constructed for marketing purposes.
7 Gambling can result in bankruptcy, divorce, abject misery and prison.