The Line That Binds

by J. M. Miller

  I opened the door. “Hey, Izzy.”

  “Hi, LJ,” she replied with a soft smile. Her eyes darted over her shoulders then came back to me.

  “Are you here for Gavin?”

  “No, well, yes. But I wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Okay,” I said, hanging the door open wider. “You want to come in?”

  “No. I would, but I’ve got to get right back. I volunteered to get Gavin so I could talk to you really quick. First, I wanted to say sorry that we haven’t really talked before now. I’m not good with the whole social thing.”

  “It’s okay. I’ve been dealing with some things lately so I apologize too.”

  “I’m just glad you’re all right after fainting the other week, and the fight on Friday.”

  “Yeah, sorry you got suspended with us, but thanks for helping with Emily. I didn’t expect her to tackle me,” I admitted.

  “No problem. I’ve been the new girl before. And as far as Emily is concerned, it was bound to happen. I don’t even want to get started on that topic. Anyway, I’m not sure what’s up between you and Ben,” she said and held her hands up when my posture stiffened. “I know it isn’t my business, but I just wanted to let you know about his surprise birthday party this Friday. We talked Simone into having something for him here on the property.”

  “Oh, that’s a nice surprise.”

  “Yeah, we hope so. Will you come?”

  “I, uh …” I stuttered, the words getting trapped somewhere inside my throat. I didn’t know if I should go. I would hate to ruin his birthday with my issues, though I’d also hate to ruin it by being selfish and not showing up to support him.

  “Look. I probably shouldn’t say this because Ben is my friend, but I have to tell you. I’ve known the boys for over a year now and I’ve seen something change in Ben since you moved here. He put pegs on his Honda. That says more than you probably realize.”

  I smiled at her honesty. “Should I bring something besides a gift? A dish or something?”

  Her eyes widened happily then they stole glances over her shoulders, making sure no one was around. “Not unless you want to. Simone’s arranging for appetizers and a cake, but it’s not a full dinner or anything. He has an appointment at five so he’ll be off property then. I can come over to get you, or you can just come outside around that time to help set up. If you want.”

  “Either’s good,” I agreed. “Gavin!” I yelled behind the open door.

  “You can invite your dad, too. All the employees will be there, minus Emily as far as I know. And I’ll tell Gavin about it on the walk to the barn.”

  “Tell me what?” Gavin asked, scooting past me though the door. He pulled his last boot on and shuffled outside.

  “Thanks for coming over, Izzy.”

  “See you Friday,” she said with a smile and a wink. They both jumped down the steps and she playfully mussed up Gavin’s hair as they walked down the sidewalk.

  I’d just finished organizing last week’s supply receipts when LJ walked into the barn. Her hair was tightly braided, and a pair of mirrored sunglasses hid her eyes from me. I also noticed that she was wearing her earphones again. So much for trying to talk to her today.

  I didn’t have a chance to see her yesterday. She was probably buried in the basement. I’d wanted to help her so badly that I couldn’t think straight. I tried to stay occupied, but periodically I’d find myself in my own basement, pacing the dirt in front of the tunnel door, fighting with morality and compassion, which was seriously warping my sanity. On one side, I needed to help her. I was to blame for everything because I could’ve told her about the curse and possibly prevented this situation all together. Not only that, but I also cared about her. I wanted to help her. On the other side, I cared enough to respect her, which meant not pressuring her, and giving her the space she’d asked for when I really wanted to bust down the door and dig through all of the boxes for her.

  This was my struggle.

  I blinked my tired eyes, stood up behind the barn’s desk, and smiled at her blank expression. I didn’t care that she was acting this way; underneath all the problems, I knew how she really felt about me. I’d seen it in her eyes before every kiss and felt it every time her body shivered from my touch. She couldn’t hide from that, no matter how long she tried to stay away. I wasn’t being conceited. I knew because I felt it too.

  She tugged an earbud out, stepping beside the desk. “What do you want me to do today?” she asked quietly, skimming her fingertips over the edge of the desk.

  There were so many ways to answer such a simple question. I wanted her to let me help her, to forgive me, and to let me hold her. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear right now though so I simply said, “You can either pull weeds or you can go slay them with the weed whacker.”

  The delicate edges of her lips twitched up so lightly I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t already been staring at them.

  Progress.

  “Without supervision, I should probably stick to pulling the weeds,” she replied. I lifted a brow and she added, “That wasn’t an invitation.”

  “Ouch,” I joked. “I guess I’ll go watch Randall wash the tractor then. I seem to have a thing for bubbles lately.”

  There was no response for that one. Apparently, humor was only going to get me so far. “There are a bunch of fresh victims for you to pull behind the gazebo.”

  She nodded and grabbed a pair of gloves from the locker. I watched as she walked away, hypnotizing me again with the sway of her hips. Just before she disappeared around the barn door, she looked back.

  My interactions with LJ had been brief all week. I’d give her humorous job instructions to keep it light and she’d smile a little bigger each day. Most of the time, she looked as tired as I felt and I hoped it was just from her search and not from anything physical like headaches. Every day I’d ask her how she felt and she’d always answer with a generic “fine” or “good.” I never pushed further because I didn’t want to push her away, but seeing her that way was killing me.

  Thursday, she met me by the side garden. Her shiny hair was pinned to the top of her head with spiky pieces poking out in all directions. She was calmer than she’d been all week.

  “Hey,” I said when she stopped beside the group of lilies I was deadheading.

  “Hi,” she replied, pulling an earbud out. “What’s the workload for today?”

  I stood up and tossed the dead bloom into the bag at my feet. “Well, we’re ahead on normal tasks. I was going to ask Pop if he had anything out of the ordinary he needed worked on, but I can’t find him. I haven’t seen him all day, actually. In fact, I haven’t really seen anyone today. Well, that’s not true. I got mean mugged by Simone earlier. She told me to let you know that we don’t have to work tomorrow because she scheduled a last minute-event. She’s going to give me the pay checks early.”

  “Oh, okay. That’s cool.”

  “She was angrier than normal. I guess Emily called out all week because of the suspension. Her parents didn’t think it was a good idea to be around us.”

  “I was wondering why I hadn’t seen her car in the lot,” she said, adjusting her sunglasses on the bridge of her nose.

  “Yeah. At least her parents are sensible,” I said, watching her bite the corner of her lip as she glanced around the property. “Do you want me to bring your check over to your place tomorrow when I get them? It’ll be sometime before four.”

  She moved her gloves back and forth between each hand. “Sure. Just drop it with my dad if I’m busy.”

  “Right,” I agreed. I’d agree to anything she was willing to offer. “I’m going to keep working on these. You could probably go to the barn to clean and organize the tools, unless you want to help here. Or do you have something else in mind?”

  “No, the barn sounds fine.” She tucked a few loose hairs behind her ears and plugged the earbud back in. “See you later.” She smiled softly before walking away.

 
“Later.”

  I watched her walk away, unable to tell how she was truly feeling. Her searches in the basement weren’t going well, that much I knew. I’d sneak into the basement at night if I knew she wouldn’t get angrier if she found out. I wasn’t willing to take that risk. I couldn’t hurt her anymore.

  I stayed away from the barn until our shift was over, giving her the same space I had the rest of the week. After we said goodnight, she slowed her pace beside my Honda. I watched as her eyes lingered on the bike. Is she thinking about our ride? I didn’t ask her, though, and that was cause for another restless night. Was that a silent cue I should’ve acted on? I didn’t want to scare her away, but I still needed to show her I was here.

  The following morning I woke late with the sun searing my eyelids. Pop was nowhere to be found again. His truck was gone so I guessed Simone had sent him out on errands for the property. The last-minute event was scheduled today, which meant no riding until later. And with no work on the grounds, I used the downtime to catch up on a back pile of homework.

  Early afternoon brought a knock at the door. I opened it to Simone.

  “I gave Randall his yesterday,” she said, handing me the pay checks and backing away from the door. She was wearing her typical button-down dress shirt and pants. The only difference today was the pair of black flats covering her feet.

  “Good morning to you, too,” I responded, looking down at her. I’d forgotten how much shorter she was without her standard high heels.

  “I guess you could say that,” she said in a clipped tone. “Happy birthday. Hope everything goes well with your appointment later.”

  “Thanks,” I replied to her back as she tramped through the grass like she was seven feet tall instead of barely five. She didn’t turn back. There was a good chance she was pissed that I would own part of Stockton Estate in a few short hours. I could understand her reasons. If I were her, I’d probably be upset too.

  I walked over to LJ’s and knocked on the door. Smacking her check nervously against my palm while I waited, I thought about the way she’d looked at my bike yesterday. Maybe I should’ve invited her for a ride. Maybe I should stop overthinking it and ask her now. I had nothing else to go on so it was worth a shot.

  Gavin opened the door with a smile and a chin tilt. “What’s up, Ben?”

  “Hey. I’m just dropping off LJ’s check. Is she here?”

  “Yeah,” he whispered then glanced over his shoulder. “But she said not to tell you. Sorry, man.”

  I nodded. “It’s okay. Thanks for letting me know. How’s she been?”

  Gavin shrugged and swung the door back and forth lightly. “Okay, I guess. She’s been in the basement a lot. She usually cleans a lot though so that’s pretty normal.”

  “Would you mind letting her know that I’ve got an appointment in a bit, but I’m planning to take the Honda out later. If she wants to go out for a ride, tell her I’ll be out in the barn around seven-thirty. Hopefully, the last-minute event Simone planned will be over by then.”

  “Sure. I’ll tell her,” he said with an excessively large smile and quirked eyebrows.

  I stared at him, confused by his overly happy facial expressions. “Thanks,” I said, walking back down the slate steps. “Later.”

  I wasn’t sure why he looked so happy. Whatever the reason, I hoped he wouldn’t forget to relay the message. I needed another chance and this might be the only way to get one.

  “LJ!” Gavin called from downstairs. “Spaz and Izzy are already out by the barn.”

  “I’ll be out there in a few!” I called back, pulling the strapless dress up my body. I stared at my reflection in the closet door’s mirror. My curves popped in all the right places, filling the dress far better than they had before. “What am I doing?” I asked myself, zipping the back then tying the black satin ribbon around my waist. I swept my long hair away from my face. I must be insane. I was pissed at Ben for keeping me in the dark. But I believed him. I believed that he never wanted to hurt me and I trusted him to be the one to help me. Wearing a dress to his birthday party probably wasn’t the way to explain all of that, but it was a start.

  I rushed out my bedroom door and almost knocked Dad over.

  “You look really nice,” he said with the same genuine smile I remembered from years ago. His arms were cinched tightly around a cardboard box. “But, isn’t that a tad overdressed for a birthday party?”

  “Maybe, but I haven’t dressed up in a while so I thought it would be a nice change. What’s with the box?”

  “I know you’ve been up to your neck in all of Janine’s stuff lately, but I wanted to go through some of the things from her closet before I add it to the wreckage downstairs. It looks like junk to me but there might be something you want to keep, heirlooms and such. I’ve been procrastinating with that bedroom too long. It’s time for me to haul her stuff out of there so I can finally move in.”

  “Yeah, sure. I’ll go through it.”

  “I’ll just bring some in here so you can go through it at your leisure.”

  “Okay. Aren’t you coming to the party before you go to work?” I asked, eying his dark blue scrubs after he dropped the box against the wall.

  “Yes, but I still have to be in at six-thirty so I can’t stay long. It was a miracle I got the job to begin with so I’d hate to mess it up by missing hours.”

  “Okay,” I replied, grabbing Ben’s gift bag by the door.

  “Oh, one more thing,” he said as we moved into the hall. “Could you keep an eye on Gavin tonight, please? His girlfriend Taylor is coming over for the party.”

  “Uh-oh,” I said with wide eyes and a big smile.

  “Yeah, well …” He shrugged with a laugh. “Her dad and I talked. He knows that I have to work and you’ll be here. Just call me if there are any problems.”

  “Sure,” I agreed before going down the stairs. “See you out there.”

  I stepped barefoot into the grass. The blades poked the tender soles of my feet and slipped in between my toes, tickling me with every step. When I turned the corner of the house, a few of the event house employees were setting up a second folding table halfway between Ben’s house and the gazebo. As I got closer, I noticed a metal-framed ramp out on the track past the barn. Spaz, Izzy, Lloyd, and Randall were out there with the tractor.

  “LJ!” Gavin called from beside the tables. A doe-eyed blonde girl stood beside him wearing a flowery summer dress. “You too? What’s with the dresses today?”

  “Don’t be rude, Gav,” I said, noticing the girl’s cheeks turn a pale shade of pink. “Hey, I’m LJ. You must be Taylor.” I extended my hand to her.

  “I didn’t mean it to be rude,” Gavin interjected as Taylor and I shook hands. I glared at him then winked.

  “Nice to meet you, LJ,” Taylor squeaked with the cutest voice. She had braces on her teeth but they stole no beauty from her dainty smile. “I’m so glad you’re wearing a dress. I thought the party would be a little different because of it being held here.”

  “Right,” I said, noting her reason was far saner than my own. “Believe me, I’m relieved you’re wearing one, also,” I agreed. “If it helps, it feels a lot less dressy if you take off the shoes.”

  She smiled again, and, after a quick glance at my feet, she slipped hers out of her strappy sandals.

  I looked around, spotting Simone carrying a tray of food from the event house. “Excuse me, guys. I’m going to ask if anyone needs help.” I dropped Ben’s gift bag on one of the tables and crossed the lawn to Simone. Her petite legs moved fast across the ground while she kept the tray of mini sandwiches perfectly balanced. “Hi, Simone.”

  Her head turned toward me as she walked. The waves of her short brown hair caught the breeze and flipped into her eyes. “LJ,” she simply stated, shaking the hair out of her face.

  “Can I help with something?”

  “There’s another tray inside the kitchen.”

  Unfazed by her usual terseness, I
jogged to the event house to grab the tray then returned to the table where Lloyd, Spaz, Izzy, and Randall were now standing.

  “Hey, LJ,” Izzy said after I slid the tray of cheese and crackers on the table. “Wow! I love your dress. I’m afraid to get too close to you. I don’t want to get you dirty.” She unfolded her arms, revealing a generous coating of brown dust from working over by the track. She backed away from the table and patted the front of her shirt to remove the excess.

  “I know. I’m a bit overdressed,” I replied as Spaz stepped beside Izzy.

  “No way. It’s perfect,” Spaz said, emphasizing the “purr” sound with a cheesy grin.

  Izzy smacked him. “Don’t be so sleazy.”

  “I’m just saying,” he replied with raised brows, shifting his spiked hair with the movement of his forehead.

  “What were you guys doing to the track?” I asked to change the subject before my face caught fire. I was another comment away from going back inside to change.

  “Spaz got a jump ramp for Ben’s track. We started to anchor it, but decided we’d better wait until Ben got back to make sure it’s set up across from the landing hill he wants to use.”

  “Nice gift. Just don’t let Gavin near it while he’s riding,” I said lowly so Gavin didn’t overhear.

  Izzy laughed. “We won’t. He’s got a few more hours’ worth of stalling to conquer first.”

  Spaz and Izzy moved to talk to Gavin when Lloyd walked over. “Do you want something to drink, LJ?” he asked, reaching into a cooler beside the table.

  “Sure. Soda is fine, thanks.”

  “Here, hun,” he said, handing me the can. “If there were music, I’d ask you to dance.” His white mustache stretched with his broad smile, spreading it higher on his cheeks.

  “Thanks, and I would gladly accept.”

  “You look a lot like her, you know?” he said then took a pull from his beer. “Genie.”

  “I do? It’s funny how that happens when it’s not in a direct line,” I added. She was my great aunt after all, not my grandmother.