The Better Man

by Hebert, Cerian

  She hated doing this, taking Brian’s way out of this situation, but the last thing she could handle was facing Will and dissecting the previous night’s encounter.

  What had happened was tremendous, unexpected, and incredible, but a dangerous game to play with her heart and Will’s. She’d told him she wasn’t going to regret making love with him, but surely, he’d regret it.

  She needed time to think. Away from her friends and family and their opinions and advice. Away from the possibility of having to deal with Brian.

  And most of all, away from Will. Maybe separation would put this whole thing behind them.

  She wrote the letter quickly, feeling worse by the moment. It didn’t help that the little details from their night crept into her mind as she tried to explain why she needed to go away, at least for now.

  Will was an incredible and attentive lover. Better than Brian had ever been. Hot, but concerned for her pleasure before his own. She’d remember their night for a very long time.

  He still hadn’t stirred when she folded up the note and placed it on the dresser, propped up against the lamp. Quietly, she gathered her bags and crept out of the suite, whispering a goodbye to Will.

  It was a good thing Brian had thought ahead enough to leave her car at the inn so they could drive it to the airport the day following the wedding. So smart and thoughtful of him.

  Lori swallowed back the tears that blurred her vision and leaned against the car. Crying wouldn’t do her any good. Now she had to get to the airport, head north, and take advantage of the two week honeymoon that awaited her.

  Twenty-four hours ago, she’d been a happy, clueless bride, ready to walk down the aisle with the man she’d lived with for years, had sacrificed so much for, had dedicated herself to. She’d had no reason to doubt him, not until she’d been handed the note that announced his unhappiness with her, his love for another woman, and his unwillingness to make both their lives miserable by going through with a hypocritical marriage.

  Lori put her hand on the door handle.

  “Lorelei!”

  Her gaze snapped up, mouth dropping open. She swore to herself but kept her gaze fixed on Will. He was dressed, somewhat, in the formal clothes he’d worn yesterday. His shirt was unbuttoned, giving her ample view of his bare chest, his nicely tanned skin contrasting against the white fabric. He was barefoot, but that didn’t seem to slow him as he jogged across the parking lot. Grim determination etched his face, his lips turned down, and his brows furrowed. Just the expression she’d hoped to avoid. She didn’t think she could face his disappointment.

  He held the note she’d written crumpled in his fist.

  “Why are you leaving like this?”

  Lori sunk back, not because he scared her, but because she was afraid of everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

  “Because I need time to think. Figure out where I’m going to go now.”

  Will nodded, but still frowned. “You could’ve woken me up.” He held up the note. “You didn’t need to leave me this way.”

  Lori squeezed her eyes shut. A tear escaped. He must think she was no better than Brian. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m mixed up and I’ve pulled you into this mess.”

  She opened her eyes again and made herself meet his gaze Some of the disappointment had vanished, but he looked as unhappy as she felt.

  “You didn’t drag me into anything, Lori.” His voice was quiet, tight, as if he were reining in his emotions. “I could’ve stopped things before they even got started…had I really wanted to.”

  Those words struck her hard and made her examine the expression on his face with a mixture of pent-up desire and sadness.

  “You’re my best friend, Will. I crossed that line last night and I’m afraid we’ll lose what we’ve always had.”

  Will shook his head. “Uh-uh. You promised me last night that you wouldn’t regret what happened.”

  “I don’t regret it.” That wasn’t a lie. Remembering how his hands and mouth had touched her and set her on fire burned her. Those weren’t memories she’d ever forget. Or regret. “I’m just regretting that we may not be able to go back to being friends.”

  More than passion glowed in his gray eyes, and more than friendship.

  That scared her.

  “We’ll always be friends.” He lifted her hand in his. His touch sent a fluttering thrill like a jagged current through her body.

  “Then let me go so I can work things out, let things cool down.” She didn’t think they’d ever cool down as far as he was concerned, but if it was really love staring back at her through his intense gaze, then she couldn’t deal with it. He didn’t try to hold onto her when she pulled her hand from his and opened the car door. “I can’t turn to you, Will. I can’t turn to anyone. Not yet.”

  Before getting into the car, Lori leaned forward and brushed her lips against his, despite the fact it brought back hotter memories of the kisses they’d shared hours before.

  He didn’t say anything else, didn’t try to stop her, just stepped back as she shut the door.

  Somehow leaving him made her sadder than the thought of losing Brian. If only she hadn’t recognized the love in his eyes, leaving would be much easier. If she’d known before last night, she never would’ve seduced Will. Her own, egotistical needs weren’t worth his pain.

  She made it to the airport and parked her car, leaving a note of thanks to Connie who’d pick up the vehicle later, and headed for the terminal where she’d leave for Boston on what was supposed to be a fun-filled, romantic, two-week getaway to New England.

  Brian hadn’t understood her desire to see New England. He had suggested a trip to Hawaii or Mexico, but she’d argued that since they lived in the Sunshine State, sun and tropical weather didn’t entice her as much as the vibrant fall foliage and history of the northeast. He’d reluctantly agreed to the driving trip from Boston, up the coast of Maine then down through New Hampshire. Even without Brian, the trip sounded inviting, if a bit lonely.

  On the plane, she rested her forehead against the window. The seat next to her was empty. She’d at least escaped idle chitchat with some friendly stranger.

  Still, she closed her eyes and feigned sleep just in case.

  Instead of dwelling on Brian during the flight, she wanted to think of Will. She didn’t have the energy to be angry, and that was the only emotion she could summon when her ex- fiancé’s face popped into her mind. Wrath at being duped. Anger that she’d wasted so many years of her life with him. It wasn’t any easier to think about Will—she missed him more. And as crazy as it seemed, her heart was breaking over him, not Brian. What in the world had possessed her to seduce him? Would she have tried to get him into bed if she’d been aware of his deeper feelings?

  Such trouble.

  * * *

  The snag of traffic leaving Logan Airport in Boston held Lori’s attention and pushed off confusing thoughts of both Will and Brian, but they returned as she headed north and crossed over the New Hampshire-Maine border. Brian definitely would’ve hated this trip, a vacation he tried to talk her out of in favor of somewhere more exotic. He would’ve been bored with the drive and probably would have grumbled the entire time. Just as well, he didn’t have to be saddled with her any more. Lori sneered. Maybe he’d take his new girlfriend on the cruise she’d refused to go on.

  After driving for a half hour in Maine, she left the turnpike and drove through the quaint seaside town of York, looking for the inn that would be the first stop of her “honeymoon.”

  It didn’t take long to find the oceanfront building and check in. Though she received a curious glance from the front desk clerk when she told him she’d be alone, he had the courtesy not to say a word. He just nodded and gave her the key.

  As soon as she reached the quiet room, she laid on her bed and let herself cry.

  Chapter Three

  Somehow, his house seemed emptier after Lori left him at the inn. The only sound came from the antiq
ue grandfather clock that kept its tireless beat in the living room. He couldn’t account for the emptiness.

  It wasn’t as if he’d suffered any loss. Lori had never been his to lose, except for her friendship. After last night, though, he wondered if he could ever go back to simple friendship with her.

  Still, he couldn’t bring himself to say he regretted spending the night with her.

  Now he’d just have to play the waiting game while she figured things out.

  If he knew where she was going, he’d try to contact her and assure her that no matter what, he was there for her.

  “Where the hell have you been?”

  Startled, Will’s gaze shot to the kitchen door.

  Brian stood there, dressed casually in blue jeans and a navy blue polo shirt. He held a can of soda and leaned against the door frame like he didn’t have a care in the world.

  Will wanted to slug the smile off his face. Anger filled the void in his head and chest that had momentarily been there, but he remained glued to his spot.

  “Got lucky last night? Was it Connie? She has a thing for you.” Brian winked slyly.

  Will wondered where he could dispose of the body. “You’ve got a hell of a nerve coming here.”

  The ridiculous grin slid from Brian’s face. He glanced at the floor and had the good grace to appear embarrassed. It wasn’t enough.

  “I did a bad thing, I know that. I didn’t know what else to do.” Brian set the soda down with a smack.

  “You could’ve told Lori as soon as you figured out you didn’t want to marry her instead of leaving her to face everyone in the church. You’re a chicken-shit bastard.”

  Brian nodded, but Will didn’t buy the hangdog expression on his face. “How is she?”

  Will grimaced. “How do you think she is? Devastated, but she hid it well. She’s a lot braver than you. We had the reception anyway, and I hear she left for her honeymoon this morning.”

  Will stalked past Brian and into the kitchen. He needed coffee and something to eat, but settled for coffee alone. Brian followed him into the room.

  “Damn, I really wanted to talk to her.”

  Will chuckled humorlessly. “You got a death wish?”

  “No, but we need to talk about things like the apartment and our stuff.”

  Will glared at his friend. “I wonder if you even listen to yourself. Did you actually think that you were going to talk to her today about these things? Haven’t you done enough damage? Give her time, Brian. She has a lot to deal with, thanks to you. Give her some space.”

  Brian nodded, his eyes narrowing and mouth tightening into a thin line. Will didn’t believe Brian was concerned for Lori’s welfare. Brian always put Brian’s needs first.

  “Why did you do it?” Will turned and leaned against the counter, arms crossed . Damn, he wanted a shower but an explanation from Brian was more important.

  “Leave her?” Brian slid out a kitchen chair and sat down heavily.

  “That and get involved with someone else. What’s so special about this other woman that made you throw away seven years with someone who loves you?”

  Brian shrugged. He didn’t look at Will. “Lori and I were old. Safe. Somewhere along the way, she lost that spark she had when we were first together. There was nothing special anymore and I was tired of being bored. Tired of the monotony of coming home to her every night. You know, we’d go through days of not talking about anything interesting, never doing anything interesting. And sex? Man, predictable, unimaginative. I only asked her to marry me because it seemed like the next logical step. She expected it. Everyone expected it.”

  Will listened, amazed at how Brian described her. The Lori he knew was bright, fun loving, sweet and generous. Brian’s description certainly did not match the Lori Will had discovered the night before. She was a fireball of passion, but he couldn’t very well divulge that information. No, it was as if Brian was describing a stranger.

  “I needed to get out but didn’t know how.” Brian pressed his face into the palms of his hands and groaned.

  Sick anger simmered in Will’s head. A part of him wanted to throw the bastard out the door, yet he needed answers. Brian obviously would talk freely, so he’d force himself to listen. “You found a way. What about this other woman? Roxanne, is it? What’s so special about her?”

  At the mention of the other woman, Brian looked up. His eyes brightened considerably. He sat straighter in the chair and smiled. “She’s wonderful, fun, gorgeous, wild. She makes me feel like I’m twenty again when I’m with her.”

  The coffee finished brewing, but Will craved something considerably stronger to cool the irritation brewing in his mind. He turned to the counter, and grabbed a cup. The heavy porcelain mug hit the counter with a clatter that nearly sent it to the floor. He steadied it then filled it with coffee.

  “What does she do for a living?” He sipped the hot, strong liquid, burning his lips. Penance for the previous night.

  Brian paused before answering. “She’s a dancer.”

  Will shook his head, picking up the reluctance in Brian’s voice. “What kind of dancer? Ballet?” He didn’t really care, but wanted to know what kind of woman would make Brian desert Lori.

  “No, not ballet.”

  “Then what kind By the red tinge creeping along the edges of Brian’s ears, Will knew exactly what kind and it no doubt included poles and laps.

  “It’s not like that. She also teaches at a dance studio. She’s really good and wants to go places.”

  Will rolled his eyes, but bit back on his reply. “Would she give it all up for you?”

  Brian blinked. “Why should she?”

  “Because you made Lori give up her future for you. I was just wondering if this new woman would do the same.”

  For a moment, Brian just stared, and then it was as if a veil dropped over his face. He quickly pushed away from the table and glared at Will.

  “Fine, I’m a bad guy. I thought you might understand, thought you’d like to meet her. I love her and you’re not going to change that.”

  The urge to take a swing at Brian teetered on a knife’s edge of control. He gripped the mug so hard he thought it would break. “Right now, Brian, I don’t understand and I have no desire to meet her. Not when I witnessed what your newfound happiness did to Lori.”

  Without a word, Brian walked out, ushering back the empty feeling Will had come home to.

  * * *

  Five days passed without a word from Lori. Not that he expected her to call and talk about her thoughts and feelings, but not knowing how she was doing drove him nuts. At last, he decided to call Connie, hoping she’d have some clue about Lori’s whereabouts and state of mind.

  “She called two days ago, actually,” Connie told him.

  Relief swept through him.

  “She’d just left Maine and was heading to the White Mountains for a couple days.”

  “How did she sound?”

  There was a pause. “Lonely. Sad, I guess, but who can blame her? But she swore up and down that she’s fine. She said if I talked to you to make sure to tell you not to worry.”

  Lot of good that did. He’d worry every moment until she came home. “If you talk to her again, please give her my love.” He didn’t think Connie would read too much into that, though he was pretty sure Lori would.

  “I’ll do that. Oh, and guess who I saw the other day? Brian with some bimbette draped on his arm. She looked like she was about sixteen. I wanted to kick him in the family jewels, but when he saw me, he headed the other way. I can’t believe the way he parades her around.”

  “Well, don’t give in to your instincts, Connie. I don’t think Lori would approve.”

  “No, she’d want the first shot.”

  Will hung up, and glanced at the calendar. Lori was nearing the halfway mark in her trip. As soon as she got back, they were going to sit down and talk. He didn’t want the night they spent together to scare her off. He wanted her in his life,
no matter what the terms.

  Chapter Four

  She never wanted to leave. Even though the foliage that glowed so vibrant and alive would soon fade to a dull, brownish-gray before leaving skeletal branches against a winter sky, she was still madly in love with the New Hampshire landscape. She could’ve stayed in the White Mountains forever, but she was eager to head to the southwestern part of the state where she and Brian had booked four nights at the Five Oaks Inn.

  With each night that passed, dealing with her single status and the front desk clerks became easier. Generally, they didn’t ask, and if they gave her one of those one-eyebrow-raised stares, she just smiled it away, maybe shrugged, but didn’t have to say anything more.

  Fighting off the loneliness was more difficult. She didn’t miss Brian as much as she should’ve. In fact, when she did think about him she was left with an emptiness, a lack of any hurt or sense of loss. Where did their relationship go wrong? Apparently, he’d gotten bored. Bored enough to go out looking for someone new. Was this latest “love” the first, or was she one in a long line of other women? How long had he been feeling this way? And why in the world did he not say anything? Leading her on was inexcusable.

  The questions pushed at her mind. Why didn’t she hurt more? Where in the world was the broken heart she was supposed to have? Why was she filled with relief? Maybe whatever lack of emotion Brian had experienced hit her deep down as well.

  And how come she felt sadder about Will? Every night, while stretched out in a bed made for two, an empty pillow next to her, she remembered their night together. Those memories brought her more pain than thinking about her aborted wedding. Was Will really in love with her? She usually considered herself a pretty good judge of character, and she’d recognized the longing in his eyes when she left him in that parking lot. No, maybe it wasn’t what she’d thought at all. Maybe it was just the overcharged passion between them. She was determined not to read more into that hunger than need be. She’d had enough heartache for one month.