Secrets of a Spinster

by Rebecca Connolly

  “Remarkably well, I should think,” she replied lightly. “I admit, I was overwhelmed at first, but soon it all began to feel natural, and I find that I am enjoying myself quite a bit.”

  “Are you really?”

  She nodded and started eating. “And no, I am not really considering Mr. Finley-Ashe as a suitor, but I do find him interesting, and his theories really do make one think more logically. But I have no intention of letting him court me.”

  “Well, I am relieved to hear it,” Geoffrey sighed as he sat back. Then he realized what she had said and froze. “Court you? Mary, you are looking for courtship now?”

  “Not in so many words,” she replied slowly in between bites of food. “But when I was at dinner with Lord and Lady Danton a few nights ago, I thought…”

  “You had dinner with the Dantons?” he interrupted, shooting forward in his chair.

  She reared back a little, surprised by his reaction. “Yes, Lady Danton sent a note around asking if I would join them for a small supper party with a few other friends.”

  “When did you and Lady Danton become friends?” he asked, feeling oddly defensive.

  “Well, I don’t…”

  “I mean, you would think that Lady Danton, as my cousin, would have informed me of a dinner party, particularly when she knows that we are friends,” Geoffrey explained, feeling rather miffed at Lavinia for her lack of family loyalty.

  “Oh, please, Geoffrey, you would have hated it,” Mary scoffed, rolling her eyes. “It was blue stockings and academics, all of us enjoying intelligent conversation without the trouble of flirtation.”

  He looked at her carefully, then smiled a bit. “But you flirted anyway.”

  She returned his smile with a rather devious grin. “Well, I do have to practice.”

  “I think you have done quite enough practicing, if the number of admirers is any indication,” he laughed, jerking his thumb towards the front door. “Still, I would have been glad to escort you to the Dantons, even if I had been bored stiff. I am your permanent escort, remember.”

  Mary chewed slowly, looking at him. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. While I was at this party, it occurred to me that even though this may have started out as a game, it might be possible to have… other advantages.”

  Geoff stilled in his seat as he stared at her. Cautiously he wet his lips. “What other advantages?”

  “Promise you won’t breathe a word to my sister?”

  He ought to have said something glib, something that Geoffrey Harris would say to Mary Hamilton, but he only managed a nod.

  “Suppose I actually find a husband,” she said in a low voice, her eyes bright. “I’ve never had opportunity like this, Geoff. I haven’t felt like this since I was seventeen. Suppose one of these men that comes calling at my house or dances with me in a ballroom or regales me with farming techniques might actually be a man I could marry and have a family with.”

  Geoff opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Mary find a husband? Well, of course, he wanted Mary to find a husband, if possible. She deserved to find one. She deserved a family.

  So why could he not feel his heart beating?

  He swallowed and tried for a look of innocent surprise. “Well, that must have been a startling realization.”

  Mary grinned and buttered her roll. “It was. I almost fell out of my chair. I have been so used to the idea of being alone forever that it never occurred to me that this lark could actually work. Not that anybody has said or done anything that leads me to believe a match is on the horizon,” she allowed, which made Geoff’s heart resume a normal rhythm, “but I’m not going to rule it out either.”

  “And this affects my escorting duties how?” he asked, feeling a little better.

  “I don’t want you to have to be my nanny, Geoffrey,” she told him with a smile. “If I’m not going to laugh at everything we used to, then it would hardly be good fun for you to come to things you hate just to be with me. And I hardly need you to keep me company once we are there. I cannot even manage to keep myself company these days. And if I am to be so busy, it would be rude to take up all of your time when it is hardly worth the effort.”

  “Mary…”

  “And…what if someone else wants to take me to something?” she asked in a shy voice, not meeting his gaze.

  “Ah,” he said slowly, leaning back again. “Does someone?”

  “Not yet,” she admitted with a scowl.

  He grinned. “Very well, if and when that day comes, you need only tell me and I’ll take Cassie instead.”

  Mary laughed out loud and covered her mouth quickly. “That would be more than you could handle, but if you insist.”

  Geoffrey reached over and squeezed her hand. “I will always have time for you, Mary, whether I like the event or not.”

  She smiled back at him. “Thank you.”

  He nodded and removed his hand. “Would you like to go to the theater on Friday? There is a new comedy out, and I’ve reserved a box. We can show you off in grand style.”

  “Oh, that would…”

  “Pardon me, Miss Hamilton,” Winston interrupted gently from the door. “There is a gentleman here who wishes to speak with you. A Mr. Burlington.”

  Mary paused, her surprise evident. “He is?” she managed.

  Winston nodded, smiling a little.

  Mary also smiled, then swallowed and said, “Send him in here. I have finished, and it would be no inconvenience.”

  Winston bowed slightly, then disappeared.

  “That’s not bad form, is it?” she whispered as she and Geoff stood. “Having him come in the dining room.”

  “Not that I am aware of, no,” Geoffrey assured her.

  “How do I look?” she whispered again.

  He smiled at her. “Lovely as ever.”

  “You are biased.”

  “Guilty.”

  Winston reappeared and bowed. “Mr. Burlington, Miss.”

  Mr. Burlington fairly swept into the room, his gold-lined great coat billowing slightly. He swept into a deep bow, then removed his feathered hat and set it beneath his arm. “Miss Hamilton, it is truly a delight to see you again.”

  Mary curtseyed and smiled politely. “And you as well, Mr. Burlington. You know Mr. Harris?” she asked, indicating Geoff.

  “Indeed,” Burlington replied jovially as they bowed to each other. “How do you do, Harris?”

  “Tolerably well, thank you, sir,” Geoff replied, though it was lost on the man as he had returned his attention back to Mary.

  “You must forgive me for not calling sooner,” Burlington was saying as he moved around the table towards Mary. “But you see, I never call immediately, as it would lump me with the rest of the masses. And I desire to stand out to you.” He took Mary’s hand and kissed it.

  Geoffrey felt nauseated.

  “Well, it is good to see you here at last,” Mary managed, sounding a little confused, but not displeased.

  “I had my new phaeton out today,” Burlington told her, his dark eyes eager, “and I thought, ‘It is such a fine day, would it not be lovely to have Miss Hamilton sitting beside me as we drive about the city’, and it was such a capital idea that I drove straight here, determined to have you join me. Will you?”

  Mary grinned and nodded. “I would be delighted. I shall go get a coat and bonnet.”

  “Excellent, I shall be eagerly anticipating the gracious blessing of your company by the phaeton out in front.” Burlington bowed and turned his remarkably shiny shoes on their heels and removed himself from the room.

  “Will you need a chaperone?” Geoff asked.

  “Not at all,” Burlington called from the hall. “My man sits in the tiger seat, all is quite proper, no need to fuss.”

  Geoffrey glowered after him, then turned to Mary, who was smiling brightly.

  “I have not ridden in a phaeton for ages!” she fairly squealed as she dashed from the room.

  “Mary! The theat
er! On Friday!” he shouted after her.

  “Yes!” she yelled back. “I have a new dress that would be perfect for the theater!”

  He heard her thundering up the stairs, and then moments later, heard her flying back down. The front door closed with a loud bang, and then it was silent.

  Geoffrey sank back into his chair, feeling completely lost. What in the world was happening here? Mary had just said she had not given up on marriage after all, and such was her luck, it was actually possible now. And he had not missed her expression when Burlington was announced. Did all callers have that effect?

  He frowned, unable make it all out.

  “Would you like something to eat, Mr. Harris?” one of the kitchen maids asked as she began clearing the meal.

  He looked over at her, then at the food, and then he sighed. “Yes, I would.”

  Chapter Ten

  Mary’s ears were positively ringing. The tiny hairs at the back of her neck were sure to be standing on end, her skin was riddled with goose pimples, and it was all she could do to refrain from wincing. But she clapped politely with everyone else when Miss Walters finished her aria, and even managed to smile as the girl curtseyed in a sort of embarrassed delight.

  The poor dear had no idea she could kill a man in a dark alley with that voice.

  Still, it did take a certain amount of bravery to perform in front of so many people, particularly if one is not encouraged at home.

  Lady Raeburn, arrayed in blue silk in all of her resplendent glory, stood and faced the gathering. “I think we shall break for a few moments, and then we will let the rest of the program commence. Refreshments are being brought in.” She gestured grandly towards the doors of the music room, which instantly opened to multiple footmen, each bearing a tray.

  This, too, was met with applause, but that tended to happen whenever Lady Raeburn was around. She positively attracted praise and admiration, and demanded attention and respect merely by being present.

  Mary stood and smiled at Lady Raeburn, who was watching her with a curious intensity. If it had been anybody else, she might have been disconcerted. As it was Lady Raeburn, she was oddly flattered.

  As was becoming common, a few men followed her. What she had once feared was now becoming rather exciting. Who would they be? Would she know them already? Would she be surprised? She had no doubt she had lost a few of her followers as it became clearer that she actually had opinions and thoughts, but where one was lost, another two seemed to be found.

  She moved to stand by Marianne Bray, who had more than a few admirers of her own, and smiled at the younger girl.

  “Miss Bray, you look very well this evening,” she commented. “That shade of blue does suit you so, I am quite envious.”

  Marianne blushed just a touch, which was too becoming on her. “Thank you, Miss Hamilton. It is a favorite of mine, but mostly because it is surprisingly comfortable. The fact that it flatters me is merely convenient.”

  Mary laughed, which made the men following her laugh, which made the men surrounding Marianne laugh. It was ridiculous. She could see Marianne felt the same, though she hid it better than Mary.

  “Will you take a turn with me, Miss Hamilton?” Marianne asked with a polite smile. “I should love to discuss your gown at great length, it becomes you so marvelously well.”

  “I should be delighted, Miss Bray,” Mary replied, taking Marianne’s arm as they moved away. “Thank you,” Mary whispered when they were alone. “I don’t mind being admired, but they do tend to get in the way.”

  Marianne snorted a little. “They certainly do. One can never find a single moment to breathe, let alone think. And I am so tired of smiling,” she moaned as she worked her jaw a tiny bit.

  “Is it always like this?” Mary whispered as she glanced around, noticing just how many people were staring at them.

  “Unfortunately,” Marianne murmured, fixing her smile back in place. “But only in public.”

  “How can you keep them from calling?”

  Marianne gave her a strange, almost amused look. “You cannot. Why would you want to?”

  “It is getting rather crowded,” Mary sighed with a small amount of embarrassment. “And tiresome. I want to weed it down, but I’m not entirely certain how.”

  “That, my dear, I can help you with,” Marianne told her with a slightly evil grin. “You have a reputation of being sweet and kind. I do not. There is a reason for this.”

  Mary returned her smile, knowing the girl was right. “You are sweet and kind, Marianne Bray.”

  “Only in private, and very rarely,” Marianne replied with a shrug. “It serves its purpose. I do good turns, but I cannot afford to be particularly endearing. It would make my attempts at popularity more difficult.”

  “I don’t understand,” Mary said in confusion.

  Marianne smiled indulgently. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. You see,” she began, lowering her voice, “if I were to be all kindness and sweetness, I wouldn’t have half of the suitors I do. The thrill of the chase is what they like, and if you don’t give it to them, they will look elsewhere. So shall I come round your place tomorrow to show you how it is done?”

  Oh, why not? What harm could there be in allowing the crème de la crème of debutantes teach her how to be more discerning in her prospects? She smiled broadly and nodded. “Thank you, I would be delighted.”

  “Good. And I really do love your gown,” Marianne told her, as she considered it. “That pink really brightens your countenance, and the cut is so fine! I’d like one for myself, but I won’t imitate it.”

  “No doubt it would suit you better than me,” Mary laughed.

  “I don’t think so,” Marianne replied without laughing. “Give yourself some credit, Mary. Now, have you seen Kit?”

  “Pardon?”

  “Christopher Gerrard. I had heard he was back in town, but I have yet to see him.”

  Mary grinned and shook her head. “Another one of your conquests, Marianne?”

  “Lord, no,” Marianne insisted with a laugh. “He’s an old friend, more like a brother. I’ll go see if he is around. Excuse me.”

  Mary nodded as the girl left, and continued to smile after her. The smile faded ever so slightly as men started to flock to her again, but she managed to maintain the appropriate airs. She didn’t know any of them very well, but that didn’t mean she was unwilling to try.

  After a few minutes, however, she was bored. Why could Lord Godfrey or Mr. Timmons or even the Duke of St. Martin not be present this evening? She could do with a few laughs. At least Mr. Burlington had promised to appear at some point. He was always agreeable. Just then, she caught sight of Geoffrey, standing alone next to one of the grand columns that decorated the room. She politely excused herself from the others and made her way over, smiling brightly.

  He saw her coming and returned her smile. “What, you tired of your admirers so quickly?”

  She snorted and took up a position next to him, taking a beverage from the tray of a passing footman. “Those are the most tiresome lot of the bunch. I have no idea why I have such trouble attracting sensible men at these things.”

  “I don’t think there is trouble,” Geoffrey admitted in a low voice. “I think it’s merely crowded.”

  “Surely a sensible man would know when a woman likes the attention she receives or not.” She looked over at him for confirmation, but received none. “No?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  He managed a smile. “Because, my dear Miss Hamilton, you are so busy being polite and not offending anyone that you make it impossible for anyone to know how you are really feeling.”

  That took her by surprise. “Oh. But surely you know.”

  “Sad to say, but lately, I am having the same trouble.”

  That wasn’t good. “Oh dear. So I need to be meaner?”

  “It would certainly help,” he told her with another smile. “But it would lessen your throng.”

&nb
sp; “That would not necessarily be a bad thing,” she muttered as she took a drink. “I’ve just been speaking with Marianne Bray, and she told me almost the same thing. She even offered to help me.”

  “Be careful with that, Mary.” Geoff suddenly looked earnest as he glanced at Marianne, then back at her. “Marianne is ruthless. She is spoiled and harsh with attentions she receives. More than one man has found himself entirely unmanned by her words and behavior. She’s not exactly an example of consistency.”

  “No, but she is effective,” Mary said with a shrewd look in her eyes. “I can certainly learn a thing or two from her.”

  “Ladies and gentlemen, if you will most kindly return to your seats, we shall begin again. And we have already had one request. Miss Hamilton.”

  Geoff jerked and saw Mary do the same beside him as she suddenly seized his arm. They’d long forgone the topic of Marianne and he was surprised she’d managed to remain near him for this long. Her throng waited nearby, but didn’t approach, thankfully.

  He’d forgotten all about the rest of the musical evening until now.

  “Miss Hamilton? If you will be so good as to favor us.” Lady Raeburn smiled encouragingly.

  “I fear I play poorly, my lady,” Mary managed, her grip on Geoff’s arm very tight.

  “No matter, no matter,” the older woman waved impatiently. “Miss Arden can play for you. You do not play, she does not sing, it’s perfect.”

  Miss Arden looked back at her now with a smile, which Mary returned hesitantly. Mary looked up at him with a bit of the same hesitation. “What do you think, Geoff? Should I?”

  He smiled and patted her hand softly. “It’s not up to me, Goose.”

  “Nor I, I suppose,” she muttered. “I can hardly refuse Lady Raeburn, can I?” Then she smiled more broadly and made her way to the front of the room to applause.

  Geoffrey leaned back against the pillar with a satisfied smile on his face. He had never told her, but he really loved to hear Mary sing. She didn’t do it often, probably because she rarely had the opportunity, but he always felt it was his little secret about her. Her voice was a rare treasure in and of itself. In another life, in another situation, she could have been a sensation.