As a vehicle turned onto their street, Tasha’s ears perked, Princess toddled out of the flower bed, and Joseph sat up straighter. All three of them watched as Ava’s silver SUV approached.
Joseph stood as she pulled into the driveway but restrained himself from following Tasha and Princess to the vehicle. He was learning that he needed to give Ava space, especially when they first saw each other again after a day or two apart.
Griffin jumped out first, sniffing Tasha and Princess before running to Joseph’s side. He bent to pet the dog, scratching the spot on his neck that always made Griffin drop to the ground and flip over for a belly rub. He would never understand why God couldn’t have created people to be as easy to understand as dogs were.
Ava stepped out of the vehicle and swept Princess into her arms. “Well, hello puppy. Did you grow again? It’s only been two days. Jacqueline just called. She’s running late but should be here in a few minutes.”
It took Joseph a moment to realize that the last part of her statement was directed to him.
“Okay.” He didn’t know what else to say, so he simply allowed himself to watch her, to enjoy the way her entire demeanor softened as she nuzzled Princess.
“Have you been working on ‘leave it’ with Tasha?” Ava set Princess down.
“Yes ma’am.” That was still Tasha’s biggest weakness―leaving food behind when commanded. She was more of an eat-it-first-and-ask-questions-later kind of dog. But they’d been working on it every day, and she could almost always do it now.
“All right. Let’s try it.” Ava reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of Tasha’s favorite beef treats.
“That’s not fair.” Joseph eyed his dog, who had already picked up the scent of the treats and trotted over to sniff Ava’s hand. “That’s like putting a steak on the ground and expecting me not to go for it.”
Ava’s sudden laugh took him by surprise, and he gladly joined in. This was more like it. More like them.
She was still smiling as she placed the treats on the ground two feet in front of Tasha.
Instantly, the dog was moving toward them.
“Leave it,” Joseph ordered.
Tasha took one more tentative step, then stopped, giving him a disbelieving look over her shoulder.
“Good girl.” He grinned and stepped forward to pet her. She leaned into him, then gave the treat one more regretful look.
“Okay. Get it.” At Ava’s words, Tasha dove for the treat.
“I told you.” He elbowed Ava as she stood. “We’re ready.”
“Good.” Ava elbowed him back, a familiar playfulness to the gesture that filled Joseph with relief. She was coming around. “Because Jacqueline is here.”
After Ava had introduced the gray-haired woman who would be testing Tasha, they got started. Jacqueline asked him to walk Tasha on a leash, hold her still while Jacqueline touched her side and feet and tail, and walk Tasha past Griffin without letting her get distracted. Finally, she set a treat on the ground, telling Joseph to order the dog to leave it.
The whole time he worked with Tasha, Joseph could feel Ava’s eyes on him. Every once in a while, he dared to glance at her. And each time, he could swear her expression had melted a little more, until it resembled something closer to . . . tenderness, maybe. Or was he projecting his own feelings onto her?
He’d have to sort that out later.
For now, Jacqueline was talking to him. Or, to Tasha, really.
She was kneeling at the dog’s side. “You, young lady, are going to make a wonderful therapy dog. You’re so soft, I bet you’ll be everyone’s new favorite.” She pushed to her feet and held out a hand to Joseph. “Congratulations. You, sir, are now the proud owner of a licensed therapy dog.” She signed a piece of paper on her clipboard and passed it to him.
“Thank you.” But his eyes went instantly to Ava. She was smiling, her hands clasped in front of her.
Would it be too much to give her a celebratory hug?
Probably.
He’d have to settle for smiling back at her.
“So―” Jacqueline was still talking, and he forced his attention to her. “Your first three visits need to be observed by one of our testers. Normally, I would offer, but I’m moving next week, so maybe Ava could . . .”
Joseph’s gaze swung to Ava.
Her smile nearly stopped his heart. “I’m going to the Children’s Hospital this afternoon, actually. We can go together.”
Joseph swallowed.
Today?
As much as his heart was doing high jumps at the thought of spending the day with Ava, he wasn’t sure he was ready for the Children’s Hospital. He’d never been as comfortable around people as he was around animals.
“This afternoon is good,” he heard himself say.
“Great.” Jacqueline headed for her car. “Congratulations again.” And then she was gone, leaving Joseph feeling somehow more nervous than he had before the test.
He blew out a breath, turning to Ava. “Wow. I can’t believe we did it.”
“I can.” Ava stepped closer. “How about some lunch before we go? My treat.”
Joseph gaped at her. Was she asking him on a date?
“Or otherwise I can come back and . . .” Ava faltered, and Joseph realized that he’d been so stunned he hadn’t answered her question.
“No. I mean, yes. I mean, let’s get lunch.” He was practically stumbling over himself trying to answer, and he didn’t care. “Where do you want to go?”
“Murf’s again? I think they deliver, so we wouldn’t have to . . . what?”
He was giving her a strange look. “You still don’t like going out in public, do you?”
She shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I just figured that way we didn’t have to worry about what to do with the dogs.” But her hand strayed to her cheek, and he wondered if she realized she did that every time she felt self-conscious.
“Okay.” Far be it from him to argue against spending more time alone with her. “I’ll call and order.”
They played fetch with the dogs until their order arrived, then took their food out to the back patio. When they were almost done eating, Ava looked at him strangely. “You’re being oddly quiet.”
Joseph laughed. “I didn’t know I was usually that loud.”
But Ava was still looking at him in that way that said she knew something was up. He crumpled the wrapper from his burger and stuck it in the bag. “What do I say to them?”
He kept his eyes on the yard, but he could feel Ava still watching him. “Say to who?”
“The sick kids.” He shoved a hand through his hair, letting himself look at her for a second. “I’m better with animals.”
“Well, what would you say to a sick animal?”
Joseph glanced at Tasha, Griffin, and Princess, all three of whom were staring up at Ava, who still had a bite of burger in front of her. “I don’t know. ‘Good boy’ or ‘good girl.’”
“Yeah, don’t say that to the kids.” Ava poked his arm. “You’re going to be fine, Joseph. I know you don’t think so, but you happen to be pretty good with people.”
“I am?” That was news to him. But it didn’t answer his question. “But really, what am I supposed to say to them?”
“It might help not to think of them as a them.” Ava’s gaze shifted to the yard. “They’re just kids, like any other kids. Tell them about Tasha or about being a vet. Ask them about their favorite animals. All they want is a chance to be kids, you know? To laugh a little. To not think about being sick or hurt for a while. To not think about being different.”
“Is that how you felt?” Joseph inched closer. He hated to imagine her going through all of that without him.
“Sometimes, yeah.” She opened her mouth as if to say more, then closed it again.
“What?”
She shrugged, not looking at him. “Sometimes I still do.”
Joseph touched her hand, just long enough to let her know he was the
re.
That no matter what, he would always be there.
“You like him.”
Ava glanced in surprise at the teen girl petting Griffin.
When Brianna had separated herself from the other children gathered around Tasha and Joseph in the hospital playroom, Ava had come to sit with her. But this was the first time the girl had spoken.
“Who? Griffin? He’s a good dog.” Ava patted his side.
But Brianna rolled her eyes. “Dr. Joseph. You’ve been watching him the whole time.”
Ava pulled her eyes off Joseph. “I’m his observer. It’s my job.”
“Oh. Your job.” Brianna smirked.
Ava worked to keep her gaze from straying back to Joseph. But it really was her job to observe him and Tasha.
He’d been stiff for the first few minutes as she’d introduced him, but the moment the kids had started petting Tasha, he’d warmed up to them with ease.
Now they were gathered around him as he promised to show off Tasha’s tricks.
“Tasha, roll over,” Joseph ordered.
Ava watched with interest. As far as she knew, Tasha had never learned that command.
Tasha took one look at Joseph―and lifted her paw to shake.
Joseph threw his hands in the air. “Seriously, Tasha?”
The kids roared with laughter, and Ava chuckled along.
“See,” Brianna crowed. “You like him.”
“What?” Ava grinned at her. “I thought it was funny.”
But as Joseph commanded Tasha to stand on two legs, the kids dissolving into giggles when the dog laid down instead, Ava had to admit that her heart was pounding hard against the door of the safe she’d locked it in.
It didn’t help that Joseph looked up and grinned at her right at that moment.
Next to her, Brianna snickered.
Ava turned to her. “Oh yeah, smarty pants, and is there a boy you like? Maybe the one who sent this?” She plucked a hand-drawn card out of Brianna’s fingers, examining the intricate sketch of a hummingbird hovering over a flower.
“That’s from my mom.” But the blush on Brianna’s cheeks gave her away.
“Your mom, huh?” Ava popped the card open and peeked at the signature. “I didn’t realize your mom was named Wyatt.”
She laughed as Brianna snatched the card from her fingers and hugged it to herself.
But the girl’s face grew serious. “They said I’m going to lose my hair.”
Ava nodded. A lot of the kids here were bald as they went through various stages of cancer treatment.
“So it doesn’t pay to like anyone,” Brianna added, slapping the card face-down on her lap.
“That’s not true.” Ava set a hand on top of the girl’s. “Your hair will grow back.” Unlike her scars―those were permanent. “And in the meantime, I know you can rock the bald look. Or try out some cute wigs or chemo caps. Wyatt will be crazier about you than ever.”
“Yeah right. He’s probably already forgotten about me.”
Ava frowned at her. “Is he a good guy?”
“Yeah.”
“And does he like you?”
Brianna’s smile was shy. “I think so.”
“Then I wouldn’t worry.” Ava glanced again toward Joseph, who was now fielding questions from the kids. “The good ones tend to stick around.”
Chapter 23
“Today was . . . not what I expected.” Joseph turned to Ava as he shifted the car into park in her driveway. His heart was full of so many things that he couldn’t put into words right now.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Ava gave him a teasing smile.
But for once, he was feeling serious. “Thank you. I never would have done this if it weren’t for you.”
And he would have been missing out. Those kids had been so amazing. And hearing them laugh―it was now his second-favorite sound, after only Ava’s.
“You’re welcome.” Ava’s eyes grew serious too.
He searched her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking.
Griffin popped his head up and poked his nose against Ava’s shoulder, breaking whatever it was that had been building between them.
“So. I guess I’ll see you.” He wanted to ask when he would see her, but he didn’t want to push her.
She swallowed. “Do you want to come in? We could make a pizza or . . .”
“Yeah.” The surprise and delight in his voice were anything but subtle, but he didn’t care. “I’d like that.”
He turned off the engine and opened his door, jumping out before she could take the invitation back.
He let the dogs out of the backseat, then joined her on the short path that led to the front door. A sudden swoop of nerves went through him.
Don’t mess this up.
Ava wanted to be friends. She’d invited him in for pizza as friends.
And as much as he might pray that just friends would someday become something more, he needed to remember his promise to her.
Inside, Ava pulled out a frozen pizza and held it up. “I know your mama wouldn’t approve, but it’s all I’ve got.”
Joseph laughed. He loved that Ava knew so much about his family. About his mama. “If you want to know a secret, Mama was known to make a frozen pizza now and then too.”
“No.” Ava pressed a hand to her heart, as if scandalized. “Say it ain’t so.”
“I remember this one time. She was trying to pass off these frozen pizzas as homemade, because she didn’t want us to know. Only Simeon had found the packaging in the trash, so we all told her how much better the pizza was than usual. By the end of the meal, she was so mad.” A pang of sadness cut at his heart even as he laughed. He sure could use Mama’s advice right now. He was sure she’d have plenty of it.
“You miss her.” Ava paused on the other side of the counter.
Joseph rubbed at his jaw. “Sometimes I forget she isn’t here anymore, you know? I pick up my phone to call her about something, and it takes a minute to realize why her number isn’t in it.”
He’d never told that to anyone else, and he felt oddly vulnerable. He wondered if that was how Ava felt all the time, with her wounds so visible to everyone she met.
“Joseph, I’m so sorry.” Ava reached across the counter and set her hand on his. “I promise the sharpness of the grief gets ground down eventually. And when it becomes softer around the edges, the memories get easier too.”
Joseph nodded as his eyes went to her hand resting on top of his. With his other hand, he traced a finger slowly across the line of scars on the back of it.
Ava’s hand twitched, but she didn’t pull away.
He lifted his eyes to hers. “Ava, I―”
“What would you like to drink?” She yanked her hand out from between his.
Joseph kicked himself. He was going too fast for her. Even if it felt slower than a turtle stuck on its back.
“Water is fine, thanks.” He stood and walked to the picture windows in the adjoining family room. He needed a little space so he wouldn’t do something else he shouldn’t, like wrap her in his arms and kiss her until she knew―right down to her soul―that he wasn’t giving up on her. On them.
“Here you go.” Ava padded up next to him, standing well back as she passed the glass of water.
He took a long drink, searching for something safe to say. “It looked like you were having a good conversation with that girl at the hospital today.”
“Brianna?” Ava sighed. “It was good talking to her. She’s worried her hair is going to fall out. From her chemo.”
“Oh.” The things some of these kids had to go through sat heavy on Joseph’s heart. He wondered if he’d be able to handle trials like that if he had to.
“There’s a boy she likes,” Ava continued. “And she thinks he won’t like her without hair.”
“What’d you tell her?” Joseph’s question was so quiet, he barely heard it himself.
But Ava took the slightest
step toward him. “I told her the good ones tend to stick around.” Her smile was soft and gentle and full of more meaning than he could handle.
He took the smallest step toward her too. “Ava.”
He lifted a hand to her unscarred cheek.
She looked up at him with those big green eyes―the same eyes he’d known nearly his entire life―and he was lost.
“Joseph.” Her whisper was almost his undoing.
The need to kiss her was so strong that he only barely managed to stop himself.
But she’d made it clear that she wasn’t ready for a relationship with him. And until she told him otherwise, he needed to respect that.
He withdrew his hand and took a step backwards.
Confusion wrinkled Ava’s brow as she watched him.
“I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t―”
The timer on the oven dinged, making both of them jump.
Joseph caught a flicker of hurt on Ava’s face before she scurried past him toward the kitchen. He let out a long, slow breath, kneading his fists into the back of his neck.
Was she hurt because he’d almost kissed her―or because he hadn’t?
Ava played with the pizza crumbs on her empty plate. Across from her, Joseph did the same.
Neither of them had said more than a dozen words as they’d eaten, although the weight of all the words they weren’t saying hung heavy between them.
They’d almost kissed.
She couldn’t deny that―because as much as she tried to pretend it hadn’t happened, her lips insisted on continually imagining what it would have felt like to have his pressed against them for the first time in eight years.
It was fortunate that he’d had the sense to pull back. Because she’d gotten so caught up in the moment that she’d almost let her heart break free.
But why? That was the question that wouldn’t stop pecking at her brain. Why had he pulled back?
Surely, he must have been able to tell that she wanted the kiss too.
Unless―
Unless he didn’t want it.
Unless, when it came down to it, the thought of kissing her scarred lips had repulsed him.
She ran a finger over them, then quickly dropped her hand. No need to call attention to them.
Pieces of Forever: A Christian Romance (River Falls Book 1) Page 12
