The Galactic Chronicles: Shadows of the Void Books 8 - 10

by J. J. Green

Carl had aged more than the five years that had passed since she’d last seen him. Lines were traced on his previously boyish features, but his warm, kind, deep brown eyes were the same.

  “Is it okay if I come in?” he asked, looking a little anxious.

  Responding automatically, Jas stepped back. Carl came into her cabin and she closed the door. She leaned back on it, catching her breath as if she’d been running.

  For a moment, they looked at each other in silence. Jas reached out and touched Carl’s arm. She wanted to reassure herself that he was real. She was still unsure if she was dreaming. He was wearing an old, faded flight suit. The material was worn and soft, and she could feel the lean, hard muscles of his arm beneath it.

  “Where have you been?” she whispered. “Where have you been all this time?”

  “I’ve been fighting, of course,” he replied. “Flying fighter ships, for years.” He looked down. “Jas, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for leaving you like that. When I volunteered, I never thought the war would take so long. I wanted to contact you, but with the ban on personal comms, it was impossible. I didn’t even know you’d joined up until I heard about the commander of the new destroyer, the Thylacine. After that, I kept asking to be assigned to her, but it never happened until—”

  She stepped forward and grabbed him into her arms. She held him close, her senses overwhelmed by the solid, physical presence of the person she’d yearned for for years, until that yearning had turned into only a wishful hope, and then only a sad memory, for what had seemed like forever.

  He put his arms around her and drew her closer still. “I didn’t know if you still would be glad to see me after I left you,” he said, his breath warm on her neck. “I missed you.”

  “I’m not mad at you,” she replied, drinking in his scent and the warmth and strength of his body against hers. “I missed you too.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head backward. He kissed her. Tingles ran through her, down to her fingertips and toes. Once more, her heart raced like she’d been running. Her skin prickled with sweat.

  They kissed deeply. Jas felt the muscles of Carl’s back slide under her hands as his lips left hers and descended to her neck. She drew in a breath as she felt their passionate touch and the soft scrape of his stubble. Desire for him overwhelmed her. She reached to the top of his flight suit to unzip it. His hands went under her pajama top and moved up her bare back.

  For the next couple of hours, they tried to make up for years of unmet needs and unfulfilled longing before they fell asleep in Jas’ bunk, their limbs entangled.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  At some point during the night, Jas woke. Elation filled her for a moment, then it was supplanted by fear that the previous evening had been a dream. She moved her hand and encountered a muscled chest. Carl was still beside her, warm and very, very real.

  She turned on the cabin’s half-light. Her lover was deeply sleep. One of his hands was tucked between their two bodies, and the other rested on her breast, rising and falling with her breathing. Running down his visible arm and the side of his body were long, silvered scars—burn scars. She traced them with a finger.

  What had Carl been through in the years they’d been apart? He had always been lean, but now he looked positively gaunt. Barely a trace of fat softened the outline of the muscles in his arms, legs, chest, and stomach. His eyes were underscored with dark circles, and exhaustion lined his features.

  What trials had he endured? Jas wondered. How had he survived?

  With a slight start, she saw that Carl’s eyes were half open and he was watching her. Not so deeply asleep after all, then.

  “Hey,” she murmured.

  “Hey.” He shifted position and briefly kissed her lips.

  “How’d you get these?” She stroked his scarred arm.

  “It looks worse than it was. I got a bit too close to a Shadow ship. Took a hit. But it was okay. My ship’s extinguishers kicked in in time. You’ve got a war wound yourself.” He kissed her ravaged thumb.

  “It must have been terrible,” Jas said. “I’ve been so worried about you. I didn’t think you could have survived this long—Oh, krat,” she exclaimed, half sitting up.

  “It’s okay,” Carl said. “I’m fine. I just haven’t had a chance to get the scars fixed yet.”

  “No, it’s not that,” Jas said. “I forgot about the battle tomorrow. Carl, you can’t go out there.” She couldn’t send him out with the rest of the Thylacine’s pilots to face the Shadows again.

  “I have to go, Jas,” Carl said softly. “It’s my job.”

  “No, I won’t allow it. Not now that I’ve only just got you back. You’ve done enough. Years and years of flying those fighters and risking your life. I won’t let you do it again.”

  He pulled her down onto the bunk and wrapped his arms around her. He spoke into her ear. “Jas, you can’t protect me. It wouldn’t be right. What about the other pilots? You can’t put me before them.”

  “No,” Jas said, tortured. “No, it isn’t fair. Why now? Why us? How much more do we have to give?” She gripped him tightly.

  He gently eased her hands open, then stroked her hair. “You know, every time I went out to fight, I thought it might be for the last time, and that I’d never see you again. I’d never get a chance to say sorry and make things right between us. But we’ve had this night at least, and maybe we’ll have many more. There’s plenty of people who haven’t been as lucky as us.”

  Jas’ earlier happiness had melted away, but fatigue, or maybe hopelessness, sapped her will to fight him. It seemed to be an inevitability that he would fight in the morning. If that was so, she also had something to get off her chest.

  “Carl, I wanted to tell you something too. Something that’s important to me for you to know.” She told him what had happened to her when she was at training college in Antarctica, and how her experience had made her hold him at arm’s length years before even though she cared about him. She explained that it was because she cared so much, not because she didn’t care enough.

  “I’m sorry you went through that,” Carl said, “but it explains a lot. I wondered why you acted so weird when we were in Antarctica rescuing Sayen.”

  “Yeah, I can’t stand going back there. Hey, did you know Sayen’s aboard?” Jas asked. “She’s our navigator. And you remember Toirien MacAdam from the Galathea? She’s here too.”

  “Really? No, I didn’t know. The minute that I arrived aboard ship I came straight to your cabin. Got some weird looks when I asked where you were. I hope I get time to say hi to both of them before the fight starts tomorrow.”

  Jas heaved a sigh when he reminded her of the trial ahead. Everything that was about to happen had regained meaning for her. Before, she’d only wanted everything to be over. Now, she was desperate for the Unity Alliance to win and for Carl to survive. But he’d been flying fighters for five years. It was hardly credible that he’d lived this long. Could he survive one more battle?

  “I didn’t know what had happened to any of you for so long,” Carl said. “Then I heard about a new destroyer called the Thylacine, and its commander, Jas Harrington, who’d climbed the ranks on merit. They said she was one of the best to serve under.” He gave a small smirk.

  Jas rolled her eyes and batted him. “The ship’s named after you, you know.”

  “Huh?” Carl lifted himself onto one elbow.

  “It’s a long story, but one of the admirals has a soft spot for me. When the new ship was commissioned and I was chosen to command it, he asked me for suggestions for a name. They went with the one I picked.”

  “You think I’m like a rare, predatory marsupial?” Carl asked, one eyebrow raised.

  “The Tasmanian tiger came back from extinction, right? When everyone had given up hope.”

  He sighed, wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in her neck.

  After a little while, Jas said, “Speaking of animals, where’s Flux? Is he hiding in your cabin?” />
  Carl sighed again. “He’s gone. He left about four years ago. A planet we freed from the Shadows was his homeland, and he said that now a couple of hundred Earth years had passed, the heat would have died down enough for it to be safe for him to go back.”

  “He’d been in trouble for something?”

  “Yeah. He’d been hiding out. On the run, he said, though he wouldn’t tell me what for. Looked sheepish when he talked about it.”

  Jas wondered how Carl had been able to read the expression on the creature’s face. “I’m sorry. You must miss him.”

  “It was for the best. I didn’t want to get the little fella killed. He said to come and visit when it was all over.”

  When it’s all over. Jas hoped with all her heart that it would all be over after tomorrow.

  “This admiral who liked you,” Carl said. “Was it Pacheco?”

  “Yeah, it was. How did you know?”

  “Most of the others have three heads, or six legs, or slither rather than walk.”

  Jas chuckled. He was exaggerating, but he had a point. “We got to know each other when we served together on the Infineon. He was in command. It was my first posting.”

  “So...did you guys get together? It’s okay if you did. I don’t mind. Five years is a long time.” Though he was trying his best to hide it, Jas detected a tone that indicated that he did mind.

  “Nothing happened between me and Pacheco,” she replied. She didn’t mention the admiral’s annoying pursuit of her. “How about you? Did you find someone to keep you company between missions?” Now it was her turn to pretend to not mind.

  “I couldn’t, Jas. Couldn’t stop thinking of you.” His eyes showed his raw honesty.

  Should she tell him that she’d been convinced he was dead? It didn’t seem a good idea. That was a conversation for another time.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  “I love you too.”

  They both slept.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jas’ alarm woke her two hours before the Thylacine was due to jump to the battle zone. Her stomach sank at the thought that, this time, Carl would be among her fighter pilots. The sound of her alarm hadn’t disturbed him, and she studied his tired features with concern. He needed a week of sleep before he would be in a state fit to fly, but she knew he wouldn’t allow her to exempt him from duty.

  The fact that she was the person who might be sending him out to risk his life again seemed unbearably cruel. Just when she thought the Shadow War couldn’t ask any more of her, it made another request.

  She eased herself out of Carl’s arms and went quietly to take a shower. She would delay waking him until it was absolutely necessary. She would leave just enough time for him to eat and dress before the battle hour.

  Running her fingers through her hair as she came out of the shower, she was happy to see that he was still asleep. But as she was dressing, he woke.

  “Good morning, Commander,” Carl said from the bunk as she was buttoning her uniform jacket.

  She clicked her tongue. “Don’t be an idiot, Carl.”

  “You look sneck, Jas. And sexy.” He got out of the bunk and came over to her. He held her upper arms and leaned forward to kiss her, but stopped.

  “Krat,” he said, concern overtaking his amorous look. “You’re trembling. What’s wrong?”

  She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his shoulder. “I guess I’m scared.”

  “Scared?” He rubbed her back. “Jas, you’re the bravest person I know.”

  “No, I don’t think I was ever that brave. I just never had much to lose. Not until now.”

  They stood silently in each other’s arms for a while. Jas lifted her head and kissed Carl on the lips. When he kissed her back, though her heart was sad, her body responded. Her breathing quickened and she lifted a hand to unbutton her jacket at her neck. She pulled Carl closer with the other. He helped her with her buttons, and soon they were back in her bunk.

  Their lovemaking was more tender and gentle this time. Jas forgot about anything much else. She even forgot where they were and that time was passing—until the loud ringing over her door chime drew her quickly and painfully back to reality.

  “Krat,” she exclaimed, extricating herself from Carl’s embrace and checking the time. “I’m supposed to be speaking to the pilots right now.”

  “Who’s at the door?” Carl asked, picking up his flight suit from where he’d dropped it the night before.

  She gave him a worried look. Jas hoped it wasn’t who she thought it was. She hoped it was Trimborn, or Sayen, or anyone else but that person. As she picked up her jacket, she noticed the comm button flashing. How many times had she been called without answering?

  She hastily fastened her uniform, then opened the interface screen next to the door. Her stomach fell. It was the last person she wanted to see in the circumstances. Pacheco was right outside, his uniform perfect, and not a hair out of place. He looked annoyed. She winced.

  “Carl,” she said, “I have to go.”

  He was pulling his flight suit over his shoulders. He nodded. “Me too.”

  Jas took a breath and opened her door. She rushed out, knocking Pacheco’s shoulder and spinning him around.

  “I’m sorry. I’m on my way to the launch bay.”

  As she ran, she glanced over her shoulder. Pacheco had managed to catch the door before it closed and was looking into her room. Carl appeared, zipping up his flight suit.

  Jas cringed and ran on, wishing she’d had time for a better parting from Carl.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Carl tried to step around the admiral who was waiting outside Jas’ room, but the man blocked his path. He peered at the breast of Carl’s flight suit and said, “Pilot Lingiari, I don’t think we’ve met.”

  Carl finished pulling up his zipper. He guessed this was the admiral who had the hots for Jas. He didn’t like the look in the man’s eye. It was the look of someone about to throw the first punch, and Carl didn’t have time for scrapping with love rivals. He had a ship to fly.

  “No,” he replied, “I don’t think we have.” Saluting and asking permission for this or that didn’t seem appropriate in the circumstances. “Excuse me.” Carl tried to sidestep the admiral again, but the man put a hand on his chest. Carl looked down at the hand and up into the admiral’s eyes.

  “Being in the commander’s cabin first thing in the morning is unprofessional behavior,” the admiral said, not blinking. “You’re aware that fraternizing while on duty is a court martial offense for both of you?”

  Carl tilted his head and looked at the admiral from under his brows. “What I’m doing in the commander’s cabin is none of your business, mate.”

  The two men locked gazes for a long moment. Anger and pain flitted across the admiral’s features, but they were followed by something like resignation. His hand dropped to his side, and Carl took the opportunity to leave. He walked briskly away. He should have been in the launch bay with the rest of the pilots ten minutes ago.

  After Carl had gone twenty or so paces, the admiral called out, “Lingiari.”

  He stopped and turned.

  “You’re a lucky man,” the admiral said.

  Carl paused before replying, “I know.”

  Carl jogged through the ship to the launch bay, where the rest of the pilots had already assembled. He snuck behind the fighter ships and slipped in at the back of the group of men and women. Jas had begun speaking to them already. She was talking about how hard and dangerous their job was and that everyone aboard the ship appreciated their service.

  She hadn’t changed much in the five years since he’d last seen her. She didn’t keep herself as fit as she used to, and the strain of command showed on her face. But he found out the previous night and that morning that she was still the same Jas he’d fallen in love with.

  She’d said she was scared. He was scared too. Not of the forthcoming battle. He’d lost count
of the number he’d flown in the Shadow War. He would try to fly his best as he’d always done. He couldn’t do more than that, and that attitude had stood him in good stead until then.

  But he knew what Jas had meant when she’d said she was scared of what she had to lose. Now that they were together again, he felt the same way. He would have given a lot to jump the Thylacine to Earth, fly Jas down to his parents’ old farm, and live out the rest of their years quietly. Maybe have a kid or two if Jas was willing. He could teach them to fly.

  There had been a time when he’d only dreamed of piloting starships across the galaxy, looking sneck in his pilot’s uniform, and flirting with his female shipmates, who he’d imagined would all fall at his feet, of course. That time seemed long ago, and he felt like a different person now. Whether it was living through the Shadow War that had caused his change of heart, or because he’d fallen in love, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter. He only had to get through today, and maybe his new dreams would come true.

  Jas was finishing up her speech. Her gaze had passed over him all the time that she’d been talking, but as she wished them good luck, her eyes met his. For a brief moment, she had the same expression she’d had in her cabin when he’d felt her trembling. The neutral look of command fell away, and her vulnerability and fear showed through.

  He wished they’d had time for a proper goodbye. Or maybe it was best that they hadn’t.

  Jas turned and left the launch bay. The squadron leader ordered them into their cockpits, ready to respond instantly to the order to join the battle. Carl climbed aboard his fighter and strapped himself in.

  It wasn’t much of a consolation, but he’d always loved the Unity fighter ship’s design. A high cockpit protruding to the front, giving excellent visibility if his scanning equipment failed, and streamlined body with two aerodynamic engines for flying in an atmosphere as well as space. Six low-energy laser emitters faced forward, two on each wing and one on either side of the cockpit. Carl knew these planes’ capabilities like the back of his hand.