by A. M. Mahler
“Definitely take all the time you need then. I’ll take care of the delivery.”
I thanked him again and disconnected the call. Closing my eyes, I focused on the distant sounds of the ocean. I didn’t spend enough time at the beach. Actually, I didn’t spend any time at the beach. Ryan was right, I needed balance in my life. I didn’t see it before Simon, but now that I did, I would make a real effort at it.
A purple Jeep Wrangler pulled into the driveway, and a woman who looked to be about my age got out with, of course, a covered dish. She was wearing shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt with a pair of tennis shoes. Her blonde hair was tied up in a ponytail. She looked fresh and like she belonged here. I picked up my notebook to take down her details, thank her, and send her on her way. But before I could greet her, the house door swung open and the twins raced out. She put down her dish and opened her arms. Travis and Gavin launched themselves at her, and she gathered them close.
I stood up and took a couple steps toward her. The more time I spent with the boys, the more I felt protective of them. She looked up at me with a bright smile and tears in her eyes.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Jenny Miller. The boys were in my class this past year.” Okay, well, that explained a bit then. Elementary teachers were not usually out to gossip, right? And the boys clearly wanted to see her. “I brought you cupcakes,” she said pulling back. “You have to share them with Marcus, of course, but there’s twelve, so you’ll have them for a few days.”
“Thank you,” they chorused.
“I also remembered you telling me about the little basketball court you had in your grandma’s backyard. I went to the classroom and cleaned it out of the driveway chalk. Maybe we could hang out and enjoy this pretty day?”
“Yes!” They were very enthusiastic, and I pressed a hand to my chest. This was the first time they looked happy since I met them.
“I’ll go get Marcus!” Gavin called running to the house.
Jenny stood up fully, and Travis took her hand. I offered mine to her to shake and she gently took hold of it. “I’m Maggie, Simon’s girlfriend. Looks like you’re just what they needed.”
“I have something else,” she said, waving her hand and walking back to her Jeep. Keeping hold of Travis’s hand, she opened the back, driver’s side door and stepped back. “Something for the adults.”
I peered around her and laughed. Beer. Cases of beer and half a dozen bottles of wine. This woman was part of my tribe. “That is perfect!”
“People stop by and stay too long,” she said. “At least you’ll be able to give them a beverage.”
“It’s a great thought,” I said. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t been letting anyone stay, though some have been a little pushy. It just doesn’t seem like anyone is ready for the dog and pony show.” And also, additional family members hadn’t shown up yet. I now knew Simon had aunts and uncles and cousins that would no doubt come for the wake and funeral, and this booze would be very helpful then.
Gavin came back outside dragging Marcus, but Marcus didn’t show the same excitement as the twins. He hung back when Gavin let go of him to take Mrs. Miller’s other hand while Travis held the bucket of chalk. Travis and Gavin led her around the back of the house. Marcus looked forlornly after them.
“You can go too, if you want, Marcus,” I encouraged him, but he just shook his head.
I walked over to Jenny Miller’s covered dish and peeled back the foil. “She brought you boys cupcakes. Since we have a while before dinner, would you like one?”
He nodded and selected a vanilla cupcake with vanilla icing. These weren’t anything fancy, just sugar bombs for the boys to cheer them up. I replaced the foil and we walked back toward the house and inside again.
Food that would not spoil was already spread out on the kitchen table and I added the cupcakes there. This was a lot of Pyrex, and I wasn’t sure how we were going to know which belonged to who. While Marcus rummaged in the fridge for a drink, I took quick pictures of the dishes. I at least had a list of what people dropped off, so maybe we could match them up. Marcus emerged with a juice pouch and wandered off to the living room.
I went back outside to retrieve the alcohol from Jenny Miller’s car, stacking it neatly out of the way in the corner of the kitchen. Simon came in and walked toward me. I gladly went into his arms when he opened them. Breathing deeply of his scent and melting in the comfort of his arms.
“I need to get out of the house,” he said, pulling back and resting his forehead on mine.
“I’ve been wanting to get a closer look at the beach,” I confessed.
“An excellent idea.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead before pulling away. Opening the fridge, he grabbed some loose bottles of beer then disappeared into a pantry attached to the kitchen and returned with a cute little covered basket and tossed a bag of chips inside. An oceanside picnic it was.
When we walked into the mudroom, he pulled out two blankets and added them to the small basket. With our hands joined, we walked around the house. Jenny Miller and the twins were engrossed in whatever artistic masterpiece they were creating on the small blacktop area of the basketball court. They didn’t look up, and we didn’t call out to them. Instead, we quietly skirted by and started down the long stairs toward the sand.
“Wow. This is amazing,” I said, as Simon led the way down the thin stairway.
The wood of the steps was weathered and sandy but still structurally sound. Large brown rocks surrounded us on the hill, and in the distance were more rock ledges to the water. This was not a strip of beach where people came to sunbathe and hang out. It was very private. The breeze carried with it a Maine chill, and despite my long-sleeved tee and lounge pants, I was happy Simon brought the blankets.
When we finally made it to the bottom, I pulled off my flipflops and held them in my hand. The sand was cold, but I sunk my toes in nonetheless. The salt air reaped havoc on my hair, but that wasn’t anything new in my life. Loose strands whipped my face, and I tucked them behind my ear, only to have them slap me in the face again. While Simon was slipping out of his shoes, I pulled my hair up and shoved a rubber band around it. I always carried one on my wrist given my penchant to want my hair tied up. It probably looked atrocious, but it was out of my face and that’s what mattered.
Simon took my shoes from me and tucked both of ours in the basket before taking my hand again and leading me down the beach.
“I talked to Ryan,” Simon said. “He said that you had already taken care of making sure someone was at the house for the furniture delivery.” I couldn’t get a read on his voice. Was he pissed?
“Uh, yeah,” I said. “Did I overstep?”
“Not at all.” He squeezed my hand. “I’m very appreciative, and it was a very girlfriend-y thing to do.” He smiled and looked at me sideways. “Are you upset that I introduced you that way to my family?”
“No,” I said. “I was a little surprised, but it makes sense. Actually, I liked the sound of it.” He pulled me in and tucked me under his arm, and my arms wrapped around his waist as we walked. “It’s so beautiful here. I can’t believe you left the ocean.” The soothing sounds of the waves seeped into me as I watched them lazily glide up the sand and fall away again.
“It wasn’t easy,” he said. “Up until now, it was the hardest thing I had ever done. My life wasn’t going forward here, though. I wanted more, and Cape Brandon couldn’t give it to me.”
“That sounds like a reason to move to a big city rather than another small town.”
“Maybe.” He looked out at the water. “But I went to Grayson Falls and met you. It definitely feels like a step forward to me.” He stopped walking and set the basket down, pulling out a blanket and letting it catch the wind like a sail before easing it down to the sand. He put the basket on it so it wouldn’t immediately blow away. Simon sat down with his knees up and legs open and patted the inside of his thigh. I eased down into the protection of his arms and leaned against his ches
t as he tucked the second blanket behind us. I reached into the basket and pulled out two beers, opening them before handing him one. We clinked bottles before taking a sip.
“It’s peaceful here.” In the distance, I could see some small boats on the water. Every now and then someone on a jet ski would go by, but for the most part, this area was untouched by the tourism industry. I didn’t even see any more sets of stairs coming down, though I knew other people lived along this stretch of road. “Do you ever see anyone else out here?”
“Very rarely,” he said. “The closest beach access is about a mile in each direction.” His arms tightened around me. “We’re alone.” I liked the sound of that. We had not been alone since we got here, and I could not forget that I came here for him. But his voice was suddenly serious. “I have to talk to you.”
Taking a deep breath and nodding, I braced myself for something that wouldn’t be easy to hear.
“Okay.” I could not stop the apprehension and fear from leaking into my thoughts, and I clutched my hands so he wouldn’t see them shake.
“After the funeral, we’re all heading back to New Hampshire,” he said. Okay. That hadn’t sounded too bad. I could hardly blame them for wanting to get away. It would be a little chaotic trying to sort out Simon’s house with guests, but we’d get it done.
“I think that makes sense,” I said carefully. “I think it will be nice for them to get away.” Though I was a little concerned about how the boys would feel when they got back and everything they saw reminded them that they had lost their father. But unfortunately, in situations like these, you really had no idea of whether you were making a good decision or a bad one.
“The thing is, Maggie,” he said. “I’m their guardian now. Devon left them to me.”
Oh. Wow. Well, that ... changed things. Simon was tense against my back, and I kept my gaze straight ahead at the waves crashing on the shore. I couldn’t decipher what he was trying to tell me with that information. I mean, it made sense that Devon would choose Simon. Their mother was older and already raised kids. The boys loved Simon, and he clearly loved them. He would be good to them. He would be good for them. But did that mean he was coming back here then? Would I lose him, or would we try something long distance? It wasn’t that far between Cape Brandon and Grayson Falls. We might be able to make it work.
“How do you feel about that?” I asked.
He let out a long breath and looked out at the water, the sounds of gulls were calling. They dived to the water and came back up empty beaked. Maybe the tide was starting to come in, and I wondered how long we would have in our little haven here.
“I’m scared shitless,” he said. “Honestly, I have no idea how to take care of them in that way. Yeah, sure, I can keep them alive for a weekend, but we’re talking about raising them. Parenting. I don’t know how to do that. What if I fuck up? What if they hate me?”
“Simon, you can be positive that at some point, you’ll fuck up, and there will definitely come a time when they think they hate you. That’s like a parent’s rite of passage. I went through the phase where I hated my parents. I’m sure you did too.”
“Yeah, I did,” he said. “But I just couldn’t stand it if the boys ever looked at me like that. I don’t want to fight with them. All their lives, I’ve been their fun Uncle Simon, and now I’m going to have to be serious.”
Twisting a bit, I rested my head on his shoulder so I could see him better. “Simon, you’ll still be you. Of course you can be fun Uncle Simon. I’m sure your brother had fun with them. Just because you’re in charge of guiding them through life, doesn’t mean you can’t make it fun.”
“I don’t know what to do, Maggie,” he said quietly before burying his face in my shoulder. I brought my arm up and stroked his hair.
“There’s nothing to it, right? Feed them, clothe them, love them,” I said. “That’s what my mom always said. When they’re sick or hurt, you take them to the doctor. When they don’t understand their schoolwork, you help them or get them a tutor if you can’t. When they’re assholes, you ground them. When they’re scared, you hug them. What else is there to do?”
Simon took a deep breath and hugged me tighter. “I’m so sorry,” he said.
“What on earth for?”
“This is a new relationship, and suddenly there’s all this heavy stuff to deal with. When we met, I didn’t have three kids, and now, I don’t even know where I’m going to live at the end of the summer.” It was the same thing I was afraid of now.
“It’s okay, Simon. I like them a lot. I’ll help you as much as I can.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “As far as the so-called heavy stuff, that was completely out of your control. And honestly, you shouldn’t even want me if I didn’t stick by you in a crisis. I would have liked to have met your brother—met your family under happier circumstances, but you and I will be fine. We have to be. I just got you. I’m not ready to let you go.”
“Me either.”
I was stunned by the love I saw reflected in his eyes. Could he see mine too? Should I tell him now that I was in love with him? I held the words back. I don’t know why I did. This love I had for him was the strongest thing I ever felt in my life. It was consuming and terrifying. Simon lost his brother. His brother had lost his wife. What would I do if I lost Simon? How could I possibly survive that? We had only known each other for a short amount of time, and yet, he had become my whole world. Would he even have time for me now? Would our life be stolen moments alone like this?
I pressed my lips to his with a sudden desperate need for him. He tugged my hand, and I turned around and straddled his lap. His arms came up and wrapped me in the cocoon of the blanket. I rocked my hips against him as he started to kiss around my neck in frantic demand.
“I need you, Mags,” he said, panting. “I need you so fucking much.”
“I’m here, honey.” I replied, sliding my fingers into his hair. “I’m not going anywhere. Take whatever you need.”
“Fuck,” he ground out. “I can’t go slow.”
“I didn’t ask you to.” Slow or fast, gentle or rough, I would be there for whatever he wanted, however he wanted it. If I couldn’t make myself say the words, I would show him with my body, my heart, my soul. I wanted to love him with everything that I had, and I hoped to god that he took it. Because I needed him to love me, too.
He pulled my shirt over my head and made sure the blanket was secure around me. Dipping his head, he latched onto my breast and I dropped my head back. I scratched my fingers through his hair as his lips moved all over my chest, my neck, my collarbone. He eased me back so we lay on the blanket. I tucked the blanket underneath my body so we made something of a sleeping bag. I was turned on by the thought of Simon ravaging me on the beach, but I’d be damned if I gave some jogger a show.
His hand slid down my stomach and underneath my pants. Tears came to my eyes when he touched my core. I pumped my hips in time with his fingers. As he worked me, he pulled my breast into his mouth, lapping and sucking and driving me wild. He was everywhere and I whipped into the frenzy he was creating.
He kissed down my body and lowered my pants as he went. Before I could register the new sensations, he had my legs over his shoulders and was feasting on me. I screamed at the immediate orgasm that slammed through me as sure as the waves crashed on the beach. But Simon didn’t stop. My fingers dipped into his hair, holding him in place. It was madness that I was climbing the peak again so soon, but I was helpless to stop it. Why would I want to? Simon needed to feel alive, and I was happy to offer myself up if it meant feeling like this. Where did he want alone time next? The closet? The garage? The car? I would be there as soon as he said the word. I couldn’t stop his name tearing from my lips as I shattered around him. I could only hope the waves drowned out the sound and I couldn’t be heard at the house.
Simon fumbled with his pants as he kissed his way up my body, stopping again on my breasts. Dear god, the man knew how to please me. It further sol
idified the knowledge that he was created just for me. There was literally nothing he did that I didn’t like.
He positioned himself now between my hips and I grabbed his, bringing his mouth to mine. Our tongues battled as he slammed into me and moved at a powerful pace. Blinded by lust, I matched him thrust for thrust.
“I’m sorry,” he said, kissing my eyelids, my forehead, my cheeks, but the insanity continued. The fury began to build again. A third time in maybe five minutes? Thunder rumbled in the distance, but it was nothing against the storm that was inside me mounting, climbing, ready to burst open like the clouds.
He caught my lips as I let loose another wild shout, and his whole body tensed then and started to tremble. He pulsed inside me and I held onto him, clenching my muscles inside to milk everything out of him I could. Our muscles turned to jelly at that same time, and we sank back into the sand, breathless and spent.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, rolling to the side and gathering me close. He reached down somewhere between us and brought my shirt back down over my head. At least if anyone did come by, we were just a couple lying on the beach, and it had the added benefit of warming me.
“What are you sorry about?”
“I was rough.” He nuzzled his face into my neck, and I stroked his arm.
“I’m not complaining.”
Propping himself up on his elbow, he used his other hand to cup my cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I had no idea how much I needed that—needed you. I mean, I thought I knew.”
I reached up and stroked his cheek. “We’ll be okay,” I assured him. “As long as you want me, I’m not going anywhere.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m starting to think I’ll want you forever.”
I already knew I wanted him forever.
What was beginning to be a beautiful moment was suddenly interrupted by an ice-cold ocean wave breaking on the beach and soaking us up to our knees just as another clap of thunder boomed over the ocean. My feet felt instantly numb. I hoped my pants didn’t just get sucked out into the ocean. Maine isn’t a place you do a lot of swimming. I clamored around, and once I found my soaked pants, I shoved a foot in the leg that kept catching on my toes as I hopped and tugged into them. Already having pulled up his shorts, Simon gathered everything up and shoved it all into the basket as another wave came up.
