Fire and Ice

by Hart, Catherine

  She rose and dressed quickly. She was stowing everything loose or breakable away in cabinets and drawers when Bobby arrived with breakfast.

  “We’re in for some rough weather ahead, Captain says,” he informed her.

  “What direction is the storm approaching from?” she asked him brusquely.

  “From the northeast is what Dan said.”

  She grimaced, “Terrific! A nor’easter, and probably a mean one this time of year. I hope Captain Taylor knows as much as he thinks he does. I’d feel more comfortable if I were in command now, though. Anyone can sail in fair seas, but I know how the Kat-Ann handles in the wind.”

  “Captain Taylor’s had a lot of sailing experience, Miss Kathleen. Don’t worry. He’ll handle her fine.”

  “I’m sure you are right, Bobby. At any rate, we’ll find out soon enough,” she said as the ship rolled again, nearly tipping her breakfast tray from the table.

  Nanna had declined breakfast, the tossing ship making her queasy. Kathleen ventured on deck by herself. She loved battling a storm, especially when she was in command. It was exhilarating to overcome the elements, to ride the waves and wind. The danger of it made her blood surge faster and her spirits soar. As she stood, feet apart on the rolling deck, she felt the familiar thrill course through her. She fought the urge to dash to the bridge and take the wheel from Reed’s hands.

  She sighted the captain at the helm, shouting orders to the men. The rain began pelting down in torrents. Kathleen flew down the passageway to her cabin and dragged on her boots and her breeches under her dress. She grabbed her slicker from a hook near the door and raced back to the deck. She climbed carefully up to the slippery ladder to the bridge, fighting her way toward the helm.

  Reed didn’t see her until she appeared at his elbow. “Get below!” he roared over the wind.

  “No!” she yelled back.

  “I haven’t the time to argue with you about it. Don’t be stubborn!”

  “I’m staying! It is my ship!”

  “Fine! Have it your way! Just stay out of the way and do your best not to fall overboard. I’ll not be responsible for your safety if you remain on deck,” he snapped.

  Turning from him, she scouted around for a length of rope, and with it she lashed herself to the rail near the wheel. Now, even if the force of the gale loosed her grip or she lost her footing, she would not be swept overboard. As long as the rail and rope held, she would be fine, and could observe the storm’s progress. From where she stood, she could also observe Reed’s actions.

  He was busy instructing the men to reef the sails before they were torn to shreds. Close hauling, he tacked the frigate into the wind. The gale was battering the ship back and forth, and the waves rose dangerously, spraying the decks with showers of foam.

  Reed threw a glance at Kathleen. She smiled her approval. He was indeed a very capable captain. He was handling the situation exactly as she would have and she felt confident of his abilities, and strangely proud. He flashed her a gleaming smile in return. Unexpectedly they shared a moment of closeness, an unspoken comradeship born of the sea and the storm.

  Kathleen turned back to her post. The storm built in strength, and her spirit soared with it. Then, through the rain, she glimpsed a flash of black skirts. Nanna! As she shouted a warning, the next wave hit the deck. Nanna, caught unprepared, slid across the deck. She could find nothing to grab hold of, and as the wave receded, it pulled her with it. She caught at the bottom of the rail and held on.

  Kathleen frantically untied herself from her post. “Hold tight, Nanna! Someone help her!” she screamed over the wind. She had just loosed the last knot when the next wave struck. Kathleen lunged for the ladder and felt arms of steel encircle her, holding her back. She looked toward the rail to see Nanna being drawn into the seething ocean. Desperately she tried to break loose, but was held firmly.

  “Nanna!” she cried.

  Nanna’s head bobbed twice and was lost in the boiling sea.

  Kathleen ceased struggling and stood disbelieving for a moment, and then whispered hoarsely, “No! Oh God, no! Not Nanna! Not my dear, sweet Nanna!” She had not the strength to resist as Reed pulled her back with him to the helm. Tears coursed down her face and her shoulders shook as he placed her between himself and the wheel, enclosing her with his arms. She grabbed the wheel for support and leaned onto him as the tempest raged on.

  It seemed eons had passed before the storm began to abate; the wind to lessen. Gently Reed pried her stiff fingers from their hold and turned her toward him. “Kathleen?” he asked softly.

  She looked up at him dumbly, not really seeing him at all. He motioned for the quartermaster to take over. Picking her up in his arms, he carried her to her cabin and laid her carefully on the bunk. Entering his own quarters, he returned with a bottle of whiskey and a glass. He poured a generous amount in the glass, and propping her up, held the glass to her lips. When she failed to respond, he sloshed some of the liquid down her throat. As she sputtered and coughed, reality forced its way back into her mind, and she began to cry again. Huge sobs escaped her, and her enormous green eyes glittered as the tears flowed freely.

  “It’s all my fault! All my fault!” she gasped repeatedly.

  “Ssh, little one. It’s not your fault. Hush, kitten.”

  Reed held her gently, rocking her to and fro as she wept. She clung to him, burying her face in his chest, until gradually her sobs subsided. Still she rested against him, drawing strength from his nearness. He stroked her hair with his large, rough hand, and murmured to her while her diminishing shudders shook them both.

  Finally he released her and tenderly removed her wet slicker. He pulled off her boots and slid her under the coverlet. When he attempted to leave, she grasped his hand. “Don’t leave me. Please, Reed,” she pleaded with upturned eyes.

  Seating himself on the edge of the bed, he whispered, “I’ll stay until you fall asleep, Kat. Now rest, darling. Close your eyes and rest.” It did not register with him that she had called him Reed for the first time.

  Vaguely Kathleen wondered if he’d really called her darling or if she was dreaming.

  Chapter 3

  KATHLEEN awoke slowly the next morning. Her brain felt foggy, and her body like lead. She knew there was something she should remember, but she was having trouble recalling it. Suddenly her mind registered the previous day’s disaster. Vividly she recalled the storm, and again she saw Nanna dragged into a thrashing sea.

  She leaned back on her pillow, letting her tears flow unchecked, and thought sadly of Nanna. Nanna was always so good, so kind and patient. Most of the gray hairs she’d carried so proudly, Kathleen had helped to put there. She had always been there, through good times and bad, always ready to praise, or scold, or comfort. Now the sweet old woman was gone. Kathleen’s conscious mind refused to suggest that Nanna’s bones might rest on the ocean bottom, or that her body would feed the fish. The thought was too horrid to entertain.

  Bringing her thoughts back to the present, Kathleen threw back the coverlet, preparing to climb out of bed. She sat up in shock! She was completely nude! She tried to concentrate on what had happened after Nanna’s death, but remembered very little, and that foggily. She could not recall returning to the cabin, nor undressing and getting into bed. Vaguely she had the impression of Reed carrying her, holding her in his strong arms, conforting her with tender words.

  Surely he hadn’t undressed her! “Even he would not take advantage of an unconscious woman,” she brooded. She rose and walked to her mirror. Twisting and turning, this way and that, she inspected her body. She could see nothing to prove or disprove her suspicions. Everything looked normal. She would just have to ask him.

  “How do you ask a man if he has defiled you while you were in a state of shock?” she mused. “The very thought is indecent! Surely I would feel different in some way if he had. Maybe he left and I undressed myself.” She pressed shaky fingers to her throbbing temples. “If only I could remember!
Perhaps he undressed me with his eyes closed. No, that rake would gawk until his eyes bulged!” she steamed.

  She was still worrying over her predicament when Bobby knocked. He carried her breakfast tray. She scurried to her curtained corner and emerged in a dressing gown.

  “How you feeling this mornin’, Miss Kathleen?” he inquired, regarding her curiously,

  “Why is he staring at me so?” she wondered. Aloud she said, “I am as well as can be expected, I suppose, thank you, Bobby.”

  Picking at her breakfast, she contemplated her problem. “I wish I knew how long the captain stayed, but I can’t ask Bobby, or even Dan. It would be too embarrassing. Besides, they would not know what went on behind closed doors. Blame it all!” she fumed. “I will have to find out from him, somehow.”

  She had just finished her meal when Captain Taylor appeared at her door. She ushered him in.

  “I see you have recovered from your ordeal fairly well,” he observed.

  “Yes,” she said simply, but worried to herself if he was referring to Nanna’s drowning or something more.

  “There is a matter we should discuss if you are up to it. May I sit down?”

  Mutely she indicated a chair. “Oh, heavens!” she thought. “Here it comes!” Hands folded to control their shaking, she stood opposite him.

  “First I should tell you that we will hold services in remembrance of Mrs. Dunley this morning on the quarterdeck.” His matter-of-fact tone told her nothing. “If you feel capable of dressing, the ceremony will be in an hour.”

  “Sir,” she said coldly, blinking back tears, “I am quite capable of dressing, and also of undressing myself.”

  His eyes widened at her remark, and suddenly it dawned on him what she might be thinking. A slow grin spread across his face.

  “Pray, tell me what is so amusing,” she inquired hotly, hands on her hips.

  “Not a thing, Kat, but your comment has served to remind me of the topic I wished to discuss with you.” He leaned forward, gazing at her intently, and said, “I think we should be married immediately. Today if possible.”

  Kathleen stood rooted to the floor. She was stunned. Thoughts raced through her tormented brain. “So he did ruin me! My God, please help me!” she prayed silently. “What am I to do now?” She tried to swallow and nearly choked.

  “Kat, are you all right? Sit down. You’ve turned a ghastly shade of white. Did you hear what I said about being married?” Reed was half concerned and half amused. Now he was sure she believed he had bedded her.

  Anger loosened Kathleen’s tongue. “I heard you, you devil! You wolf in sheep’s clothing! You—you Yankee!” she stuttered.

  “Now, Kat, is that any way to speak to your future husband; the man who is willing to give up his freedom in order to protect your reputation?”

  “What shreds of it I have left, you mean!” she countered.

  “Would you feel better if I told you I hardly noticed that intriguing little mole on your backside?”

  Kathleen gasped, then screamed, “Just turn this ship around and take me straight back to Ireland. I’ll get someone else to escort me to America. Someone I can trust.” She was near tears, and closer yet to murdering him.

  Reed shook his dark head determinedly. “No, Kat. If I turned back now, we’d lose four weeks sailing time, which I can’t afford. You and the cargo will arrive on schedule, like it or not. In the meantime, it is best you marry me with haste. You are now the only woman aboard and you cannot sail an entire ocean and still retain your respectability unless you do so.”

  Kathleen’s face was crimson with embarrassment and rage. “I refuse to marry you. Captain. You are the last person on this earth I would want for a husband,” she declared loudly.

  “The feeling is mutual, I assure you, but there is no other way.” He stood and walked calmly to the door. “I’ll leave you to think about it. You have one hour. I want your decision before the services for Mrs. Dunley. You have few alternatives, Kat,” he reminded her.

  “I’d rather kill myself,” she muttered after the closed door.

  Reed had spent a restless night after he’d left Kat sleeping. When she’d fallen asleep, he’d eased her out of her clothing. He had stood for a moment admiring the beauty of her perfect form, then bent to kiss a rose-tipped breast. Reluctantly he’d covered her and slipped into his own cabin.

  For a while he tried to sleep and finally gave up entirely, spending the night alone on the bridge with his thoughts. He’d considered returning her to Ireland, but used the excuse of the cargo to discard that notion. Next he thought of locking her in her cabin for the remainder of the voyage, but that was not realistic. He even speculated on letting matters stand as they were and chance the results. Finally he had come up with the idea of marriage.

  He’d wrestled long and hard with himself for hours before deciding to speak to her. He could think of dozens of reasons why he shouldn’t marry her. She was spiteful and had a sharp tongue. She had a fiery temper and was very self-willed and independent. She was bull-headed, and they would be forever fighting. She was still a spoiled child. Still, she was so soft and feminine; so beautiful. He recalled the perfection of her naked body. He saw again the lovely smile she had flashed at him earlier during the storm. Those captivating green eyes; those sweet lips made him want her as he had never wanted another woman. The thought of losing his freedom was not nearly as bad as the thought of another man having her.

  “I must be out of my mind,” he told himself. But in the end, he’d decided to make her his wife and suffer the consequences.

  Kathleen battled with herself, too. Alone in her cabin, she paced, her thoughts flying furiously. He refused to go back to Ireland because of his precious cargo. She could not lock him up and sail the frigate there herself. Half of the men were loyal to him. Besides, at this point it mattered little to her in which direction they sailed. With Nanna gone she did need his protection as captain, however. A locked door would not save her, and she certainly couldn’t go around with a rapier in her hand every moment of the day, or sleep with one eye open. Her men she could trust, but his? And who was to protect her from him?

  Of course, what was left to protect, actually? Her virtue was obviously gone. Perhaps she ought to marry him. After all, he was responsible for her ruined condition.

  “Yes,” she thought. “I'll marry him and make him rue the day he stole my virginity.” The thought of a lifetime with that arrogant, mule-headed, conceited, smartmouthed snake-in-the-grass made her reconsider again.

  Then she thought of Nanna. Nanna would not want her reputation tarnished. She would not approve of Kathleen sailing without protection with a ship full of lonely men. Nanna had liked Reed. She’d thought him a handsome, well-mannered gentleman. His family was socially acceptable, owning property and slaves and a grand home in Savannah.

  “For you, Nanna,” Kathleen sighed resignedly. “For you I’ll marry the Yankee.”

  Her decision made, Kathleen slipped on a black dress and hurried on deck, there locating Reed on the bridge. A few feet from him, she hesitated briefly and said, “I’ve decided to accept your proposal after all. Captain Taylor. I will marry you.”

  He regarded her silently for a time, then stated authoritatively, “I will not marry a woman dressed like a crow. Change into something suitable, Kat.”

  “This is perfectly suitable for a funeral, Captain,” she argued defiantly. “I will change immediately after the service for Nanna is concluded, and no sooner.” She gave him an icy glare and threw her chin up.

  “See that you do,” he answered bluntly. “We are tying up to the Seafire for the ceremonies,” he went on to explain. “I will conduct the services for Mrs. Dunley. I shall make arrangements with my former quartermaster. Captain Venley, for him to marry us. Don’t worry,” he interjected, “He is a licensed captain, so our union will be perfectly legal. As you can probably understand, we cannot keep the two ships tied up indefinitely, so please try to hurry in cha
nging your clothing.”

  He spoke stiffly, as if he regretted offering her his name. “By the way, do you require a Catholic ceremony?”

  “No, Father was Protestant and I have been raised as such,” she told him. To herself she thought sullenly, “Don’t put yourself out, you swine.”

  The services for Nanna over, Kathleen hastened to her cabin. She rifled through her wardrobe until she located a white silk evening gown. The bodice was low and caught up under the breasts in the empire style that was currently fashionable. It sported capped sleeves and was studded with hundreds of tiny seed pearls. The skirt fell in smooth folds to the floor. Swiftly she donned the shimmering gown with slippers to match. She caught up the sides of her hair and tied them back with a white ribbon, leaving two small curls near her temples, and let the remaining hair hang straight down to her hips in softly waving curls. In her dresser she found a delicate white lace mantilla which she draped over her head and shoulders. Drawing a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she walked sedately to the quarterdeck.

  At Kathleen’s approach, a hush fell over the crew. All eyes turned on her with anticipation and awe as she walked toward the captain. Reed stepped forward and tucked her arm beneath his own. His steel-blue eyes were warm with admiration as he whispered softly, “You make a very beautiful bride, Kat.”

  They were a stunning couple as they stood before Captain Venley and exchanged their vows; he in his uniform once more, and she all in white. Vows exchanged, Captain Venley pronounced them man and wife. Reed’s dark head bent to hers of copper as he kissed her sweetly on the lips.

  The men congratulated them heartily. There were shouted wishes of long life and happiness and many children, which promptly made Kathleen blush. Within minutes the crew from the Seafire cast off from the Kat-Ann, and they were sailing toward Savannah once more.

  Feeling suddenly shy, Kathleen left Reed on the bridge and returned to her cabin. Sitting on the edge of her bunk, she stared at her reflection in the mirror across the room. Her cheeks were flushed, and her emerald eyes were large and luminous. She raised a shaky hand to touch trembling lips that had so recently repeated vows of matrimony. His warm kiss still lingered on her lips. Shaking her head in wonderment, she repeated, “To honor and obey till death do us part. Oh God, what have I done? I have married this man in Your sight and recited vows I don’t know if I can keep. I am Kathleen Haley no longer. No longer my own person, but half of a pair. I am Mrs. Reed Taylor, and I have no idea who she is or what she is supposed to be like. Is she me? Am I still to be the same individual, or will I be absorbed into Reed’s personality? I am so scared! If only I knew what to expect!”