Born Out of Love

by Anne Mather

  Carlos appeared as they were preparing to leave. He had risen earlier and gone to prepare breakfast for Logan and his guests, but now, Charlotte thought, Logan must have sent him back to make sure she didn’t back out at the last minute. He, too, raised dark eyebrows when he saw her, but unlike Robert, he said nothing.

  Logan was crouched on his haunches on the verandah of the beach house, examining the valve of an oxygen cylinder, when they walked up the steps. Like Carlos, he was wearing the frayed denim shorts Charlotte had seen him in before, and his eyes widened first and then narrowed between thick lashes when he saw her. Immediately he straightened, giving Robert a friendly smile before greeting his mother.

  ‘Good morning,’ he said politely. ‘Thank you for coming.’

  Charlotte opened her mouth to make some cutting retort, when a girl came out of the beach house to join them. Small and dark, dressed in a cotton zipped jacket with a cowled neckline, and a pair of bikini briefs, Charlotte stared at her in surprise. Was this Elaine Mendoza—this skinny little creature, with a fashionably frizzed hairstyle that seemed too heavy for her slender neck? And then Elaine turned to look at her through luminous almond eyes, and she knew why both Robert and Lisette considered her so attractive. Her pale features were perfectly formed, the bone structure refined and elegant, but her eyes and the full-lipped definition of her mouth were purely sensual.

  ‘Hello,’ she said, her voice a shade higher than Charlotte would have expected. ‘You must be Robbie’s mother.’

  Immediately Charlotte was relegated to the position of belonging to another generation. But she refused to let it worry her. ‘Yes, I’m Charlotte Derby,’ she said. ‘And you’re—Miss Mendoza?’

  ‘Elaine!’ The girl’s accent was overlaid with a European inflection, due no doubt to the time she had spent there. ‘It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs Derby.’

  The situation established, Elaine turned back to Logan who had been watching this interchange rather enigmatically, and said: ‘There you are, querido. I’ve saved you the trouble of making introductions, no?’

  Logan was non-committal. ‘Where’s your father?’ he asked, and Elaine gestured towards the house. ‘He’s coming.’ She turned to Robert. ‘It’s nice to see you again, Robbie.’

  That Robert was captivated was obvious from the fatuous expression he was wearing, and Charlotte suppressed the desire to tell him to pull himself together and stop looking so foolish.

  As if sensing her feelings, Logan attracted the boy’s attention, suggesting that he might like to try out the diving equipment with Carlos while they waited for Elaine’s father to join them.

  ‘You’re from London, Mrs Derby,’ Elaine said as the others moved away, and Charlotte nodded.

  ‘Just outside, actually. Do you know London, Miss Mendoza?’

  ‘Do call me Elaine.’ The Brazilian girl was insistent. ‘And yes, I know London. Papa took me there first when I was just a little girl, and I loved it. All those historic buildings—I expect you’re quite used to them.’

  ‘I suppose I am,’ murmured Charlotte dryly, and felt unreasonably irritated by the amusement she could see in Logan’s face.

  ‘Yes.’ Elaine smiled, playing with the zip of her jacket. ‘I must get Logan to take me there again some time.’

  Charlotte’s fingers tightened over the strap of her bag, the urge to score becoming irresistible. ‘I should,’ she said impulsively. ‘He knows the city very well, don’t you, Logan?’

  The tables were briefly turned, and now Elaine looked irritated. ‘You—knew Logan when he was in London, Mrs Derby?’ she queried sharply, and Charlotte could feel Logan’s keen interest in her reply.

  Flushing, she said: ‘I—Logan was a—an associate of my husband’s, Miss Mendoza. Naturally we met.’

  Elaine flicked a glance at the man by her side. ‘You didn’t tell me you knew Mrs Derby before she came to San Cristobal,’ she remarked, the dark eyes flashing. ‘When was this?’

  Logan looked at Charlotte, and she was appalled at her own stupidity. Because of Elaine she had placed her whole future in jeopardy. She felt weak with relief when he said carelessly: ‘It was all a long time ago, Elaine. Before I began working for your father. When you were still a school-girl.’

  His use of words was deliberate, but that didn’t stop Charlotte from feeling a return of irritation. Did he have to behave as if she was years older than Elaine? There couldn’t be more than five or six years between them. But Elaine was clearly pleased with his answer, and the pressure was eased still further when her father appeared.

  Charlotte could immediately see why Lisette had been attracted by Manoel Mendoza. Small and dark, like Elaine, he emanated the charm which his daughter possessed in full measure, and his manner was quaintly old-fashioned and courteous. He kissed Charlotte’s hand, and his eyes told her that he found her appearance enchanting. It was good to feel attractive again, and she responded to his warmth with more enthusiasm than intelligence. It didn’t occur to her that Manoel might misjudge her conduct, and it was potently satisfying to observe Logan’s disapproval of her behaviour.

  ‘Have you ever done any underwater swimming, Mrs Derby?’ Manoel asked with interest, and Charlotte shook her head.

  ‘No. But I’m—hoping to learn. Perhaps you could teach me, senhor.’

  ‘Alas, no.’ Manoel nevertheless looked gratified by her suggestion. ‘I leave the diving to Logan and Carlos, and Elaine, too, of course. No doubt, she could teach you—–’

  ‘I shall be teaching Mrs Derby,’ stated Logan with emphasis: ‘Shall we go?’

  ‘Where are we going?’ asked Charlotte, frowning. Surely it would be more sensible to swim out from the shore, she thought, wishing she had put on her bathing suit before leaving the bungalow.

  ‘We’re going to Deadman’s Cove!’ announced Robert excitedly, appearing at her side. ‘Isn’t it exciting?’

  Charlotte was confused. ‘But—–’ She looked towards the reef. ‘How?’

  ‘It’s possible to sail the ketch over the reef,’ Carlos explained quietly beside her. ‘There is a channel that’s deep enough to negotiate when the tide is right.’

  Charlotte shivered. ‘But if we can get out, surely sharks can get in!’

  Elaine regarded her scornfully. ‘Don’t be such a goose, Mrs Derby. There is danger everywhere if you look for it.’

  Charlotte’s accusing eyes met Logan’s. He had already descended the steps to the beach, his arms weighed down with oxygen cylinders, face masks and breathing equipment, and was standing looking up at her. He returned her stare unsmilingly, and then said shortly: ‘The chances of a killer shark entering the lagoon are remote, as I said before. Now, can we get going?’

  Charlotte glanced round for Robert, but he was already going ahead with Elaine and her father, while Carlos was following them carrying a huge picnic hamper. She wished desperately that she had held out against joining them, or developed a convenient headache this morning. She had imagined they intended staying within the environs of the lagoon, and the idea of sailing to another part of the island filled her with alarm. She was not a good sailor. The trip in the launch from Tortola to San Cristobal had been more than enough for her. Besides, the ketch was smaller than the launch and, in spite of its engine, was basically a sailing vessel.

  Carlos turned at the top of the steps and urged her to come along. ‘Relax,’ he said reassuringly. ‘There’s no danger.’

  ‘Isn’t there?’ Charlotte was not convinced. But perhaps that was because her anxieties were not what he imagined them to be.

  The ketch rocked beside the landing. Logan and Carlos loaded the diving equipment, and Elaine perched on the gunwale, directing operations. Manoel Mendoza came forward to assist Charlotte, and she was glad of his helping hand as she stepped unsteadily aboard. Robert was stowing the picnic hamper away in a locker, and she thought how much at home he seemed. But then he had been out with Carlos several times already.

  The ketch had
two masts, but the sails remained furled as Logan used the engine to steer them through the narrow channel into the open sea. The tide was coming in, and the thunderous roar of the surf as it broke along the jaws of the reef, yawning at either side of them, was deafening. Charlotte, seated near the bow of the vessel, clutched the sides of the boat with real terror.

  Then they were through, and Elaine and Logan began hauling up the mainsail as Carlos cut the motor. Away from the dangerous crenellations of the reef, Charlotte relaxed a little, and could even respond when Manoel commented on the strength of the wind.

  ‘Do—do you think it’s going to be choppy?’ she asked, eyeing the white-capped breakers all about them, and he frowned.

  ‘Perhaps, a little. But she can take it.’ He patted the side of the ketch. ‘It’s a good day for sport. Have you done much sailing, Mrs Derby?’

  Charlotte shook her head. ‘None, I’m afraid. I—boats have never appealed to me.’

  ‘No?’ Manoel sounded surprised. ‘But you must agree, it is very pleasant to sit here and let the wind carry you where it wills.’

  Charlotte forced a smile, trying not to look over the sides of the boat. The idea of being at the mercy of the wind did not appeal to her at all.

  Elaine, on the other hand, was obviously enjoying herself immensely. She stood close to Logan, looking up at him through her lustrous almond eyes, and Charlotte couldn’t fail to read the message behind the silent display. No wonder Lisette had been so put out by her arrival. Without saying a word, Elaine could convey an unmistakable intimacy.

  Robert came to join his mother, grinning happily. ‘Isn’t it great!’ he exclaimed. ‘Carlos let me handle the wheel for a while.’>

  Manoel smiled at the boy’s excited face. ‘You do not share your mother’s trepidation, Robert?’

  ‘Oh, no.’ Robert spread his hands. ‘I love it.’

  Manoel nodded. ‘You are an apt pupil, I am sure.’ He looked at Charlotte. ‘Did he tell you how Logan was teaching him to use the breathing tube yesterday?’

  Remembering how weary and depressed she had been the night before, and how absently she had listened to her son recounting the events of his day, Charlotte had to shake her head, but Robert looked indignant.

  ‘I did tell you, but you weren’t listening!’ he exclaimed. ‘Just from the beach, to begin with. Mr Kennedy let me put on the flippers and face mask, and he swam out with me. He can hold his breath for ever such a long time. He swam underwater part of the way, and he didn’t have even a breathing tube.’

  Manoel nodded. ‘Your son was very good,’ he told Charlotte indulgently. ‘Logan was very pleased with him.’

  Charlotte had the feeling their conversation was being observed, and glancing round she was hardly surprised to find Logan watching them. Standing there, feet apart, braced against the pitching movement of the boat, he looked grim and strangely forbidding. She wondered what it was that was causing that frown of disapproval that tugged down the corners of his mouth, and forced Elaine to look elsewhere for attention.

  The Brazilian girl came sauntering across to where her father and Charlotte were sitting, flicking an affectionate smile at Robert. But she was clearly in a mood for argument, and she began by chiding Manoel for wearing trousers instead of shorts, like the other men.

  ‘You are on holiday,’ she taunted, speaking English deliberately, Charlotte felt. It could not have missed the other girl’s notice that she was wearing trousers, too, and no doubt her comments were double-edged.

  ‘I prefer trousers,’ Manoel replied tolerantly. ‘I do not dictate to you what you should wear, Elaine. Surely you can allow me the same privilege.’

  Elaine shrugged. That had merely been an opening gambit, Charlotte felt sure.

  ‘Are you enjoying the trip, Mrs Derby?’ she asked now, levering her lissom body up on to the engine housing. ‘You’re looking a little nervous, no?’

  Charlotte eased her grip on the bowsprit. ‘It’s—very pleasant,’ she managed jerkily. She looked at Manoel. ‘Is—Deadman’s Cove much further?’

  Robert answered her question: ‘Carlos says it takes about three-quarters of an hour,’ he declared, arousing her worst fears. They had only been on the water for about fifteen minutes as yet, and already she was feeling slightly queasy. She had deliberately eaten very little for her breakfast, and now the emptiness in her stomach added its own pangs to her discomfort.

  Elaine stretched her length so that she could look over the side and into the water. ‘You should look down, Mrs Derby,’ she said. ‘The water’s crystal clear. I can see acres of waving grasses, just like the pampas back home. Oh—and what colour the fishes have! Do look, Mrs Derby, it’s absolutely fascinating.’

  Charlotte turned her head reluctantly, and glanced over the side. All she could see was rolling water, and the rise and fall of the ketch was nauseating. She looked quickly away again, and as she did so, she caught Elaine’s eyes upon her. The Brazilian girl turned away, but not before Charlotte had glimpsed the malicious amusement in her face.

  Not that Charlotte could have done anything about it right then. Nausea rose like bile in her throat, and she got unsteadily to her feet. She had to get away from people, she thought sickly, realising that Manoel was looking up at her in surprise, and even Robert didn’t understand what she was doing.

  She had only taken a couple of shaky steps across the planking when Logan’s arm encircled her waist, and his support was unexpectedly comforting. ‘Cool it!’ he advised softly, drawing her across to the wheel. ‘Here, hold on to this, and look towards the horizon. Not at the water. Just the horizon.’

  Charlotte couldn’t have protested, even had she wanted to. But in any case, Logan seemed to know instinctively what was wrong with her. ‘I—I feel dreadful,’ she confessed, and felt him move to stand behind her, his arm brushing hers as he guided her hands on the wheel.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were no sailor?’ he demanded beside her ear, and she shivered.

  ‘I—I didn’t realise we would be leaving the lagoon. I shouldn’t have come.’

  ‘Nonsense!’ Logan’s voice was hardening again, as if he regretted the sympathy he had shown her. ‘We have to conquer these adolescent fears. You’re feeling better now, aren’t you?’

  ‘A little,’ Charlotte had to admit.

  ‘You see?’ There was a note of impatience in his tone now, which was not improved by Elaine’s decision to join them.

  ‘What’s the matter, Mrs Derby?’ she inquired mockingly. ‘Feeling seasick?’

  Charlotte saw no point in deviating. ‘Yes,’ she said, sensing Logan’s hostility, but not understanding it. ‘I’m afraid I’d make a poor yachtswoman.’

  Elaine pushed her hands into the pockets of her jacket, and looked provocatively at Logan. ‘A new role for you, querido?’ she suggested tauntingly. ‘Or perhaps Mrs Derby thought you needed company.’

  Charlotte was indignant, but Logan merely pulled a face at Elaine, apparently immune to her malice. ‘You wouldn’t do a thing like that, of course,’ he jeered, and now Charlotte had the satisfaction of seeing the other girl discomfited.

  ‘People shouldn’t come sailing if they can’t take it!’ she asserted sulkily, and Logan looked amused.

  ‘As I recall, a certain sixteen-year-old lost her stomach off Cape Ignatia some years ago,’ he remarked, and she compressed her lips angrily.

  ‘I wasn’t seasick!’ she declared hotly. ‘I wasn’t well …’

  ‘Nor is Charlotte.’

  Elaine’s lips tightened. ‘Mrs Derby looks all right to me.’

  Logan sighed. He seemed to be getting bored with the discussion. ‘Go and ask Carlos to shorten the mainsheet,’ he told her shortly. ‘We’re tacking too close to the wind. At this rate we’ll not make it within the hour.’

  Elaine left them with unconcealed reluctance, and Charlotte made an apologetic gesture. ‘I—I feel much better now. I’ll go and sit down again.’

  Logan steppe
d into her path. ‘Beside Mendoza?’ he asked harshly, his back towards that gentleman.

  Charlotte was forced to delay. ‘Why not?’

  ‘I’d rather you didn’t sit with Manoel,’ he said, surprising her. ‘He might—misunderstand your interest.’

  Charlotte flushed. ‘I don’t understand.’

  Logan’s mouth tightened. ‘If you say much more, I shall be forced to draw the conclusion that you prefer older men,’ he snapped.

  Charlotte gasped. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Manoel is a widower. His wife died several years ago. For some time now, since Elaine has grown up, he has been hinting that he might marry again. He is a gregarious man, he likes companionship. Naturally, he expects Elaine to get married soon, and when she does …’

  Charlotte was trembling with indignation. ‘If you think for one minute—–’

  ‘I didn’t,’ retorted Logan dryly. ‘But he might.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be so silly!’ She was hot and embarrassed, as well as resentful. Did he honestly think she might consider remarrying a man only a few years younger than Matthew had been?

  ‘What is so silly?’ Logan demanded quietly. ‘You did it before.’

  Charlotte pressed her palms tightly together. She had spoken recklessly again. ‘That—that was different,’ she stammered.

  ‘How?’

  ‘Logan! We can’t talk about this now. Not here!’

  ‘When and where can we talk about it then?’ he pursued, coldly. ‘You seem singularly unwilling to discuss it at all.’

  Charlotte looked about her with some anxiety, sure that their conversation must be audible to other ears as well as their own. But although Carlos and Elaine were looking in their direction, they could not overhear what was being said.

  ‘I don’t see that there’s anything to talk about,’ she said, in an undertone.

  ‘Don’t you?’ Logan’s nostrils flared. ‘Your insensitivity is only equalled by your lack of imagination. Don’t you think I deserve an explanation? What changed your opinion of Derby? Why did marrying him suddenly prove such an attraction? If it wasn’t his money, what was it?’