This Time for Keeps
Page 20
“Yes, I can see that.”
Tess took a step closer. “It’s your baby.”
She watched, fascinated, as his throat convulsed as he swallowed hard. He was in shock, but in typical Mitch fashion, he would act as though he was in complete control. A virtue. And a flaw.
Because his one weakness was not being able to show weakness.
He blinked a couple of times, as though digesting her words, and then shook his head. “What did you say?”
Tess pushed back her shoulders. “I said, the baby is yours, Mitch. That afternoon at the hotel in Sioux Falls when we—”
He waved a hand, cutting her off. “Yeah, I know how babies are made, Tess.”
Of course he did. They’d had plenty of practice, after all. This was the fifth baby they’d made together. Only, tragically, the last four of her pregnancies had all ended in miscarriage.
But not this time.
This time she was going to carry her child to full term and deliver a robust and healthy baby. She was sure of it. And since her doctor was also confident she would sustain the pregnancy, Tess had no intention of spending the next few months afraid she would lose her child. This time she felt different.
“I thought you should know,” she said quietly. “So, I guess I’ll head off and—”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, cutting her off again. “Come inside and we’ll talk.”
He turned on his heels and jogged up the porch steps, not waiting for a reply, but she noted that he did hold the door for her. Tess rolled her eyes, and then followed. She should have known what to expect when she drove out here. The dogs greeted her with their tails wagging, and she patted them both enthusiastically before she passed Mitch by the door, ignoring the way her senses were suddenly on red alert around him. He closed the screen once she’d crossed the threshold and ushered her into the front living room.
Nothing much had changed, she thought as she entered the room. Except for the fact that their wedding portrait no longer hung on the wall near the fireplace. A watercolor hung there now, something abstract and impersonal that was the complete antithesis of the intimate photograph that had graced the spot for the entirety of their marriage. Of course, she hadn’t expected that he would keep the portrait up once they were divorced.
“Is Mrs. Bailey still—”
“Yes,” he replied gruffly. “She’s in the kitchen. Do you want something? Coffee? Tea, maybe? I could ask her to—”
“No,” she said, and waved a hand. “I’m fine. I only wondered if she was still here, that’s all.” Tess had always liked Mrs. Bailey. The older woman had been a friend and confidante during the years she’d lived at the ranch.
“Does your sister know you’re in town?” he asked flatly.
Tess nodded. “I’m staying with her while I’m here.”
“At David’s?”
She nodded again. David McCall, a widower, was Mitch’s cousin. Her stepsister, Annie, worked for David as nanny to his two children. Annie lived at David’s ranch, which was about a twenty-minute drive from the Triple C.
“I only arrived this morning and came straight here. I called Annie last night and asked if I could stay for a few days,” she said, and shrugged a little. “And I didn’t elaborate. I just asked her to ask David not to say anything about me being in town to you or anyone else.”
“So, who knows you’re pregnant?”
“You,” she replied. “But it’s not like I can hide the fact from the world. Nor do I want to. I’m not unhappy about the baby, Mitch. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“Except for the part about me being the father, right?”
She stilled, and a familiar hurt, as raw and fresh as it had been four years earlier, wound its way through her blood. They’d said a lot of hurtful things to one another in the end. Words that would never be forgotten and could never be taken back.
“I’m not unhappy about that,” she said quietly. “Despite...despite everything.”
He laughed humorlessly. “Despite saying the last thing you wanted was to have a child with me.”
Tess’s back straightened as memories banged around in her head. “We both said things that day...things that we probably now regret.”
“I don’t,” he said flatly. “I meant what I said. And if we could go back for a do-over, I’d say the same thing and feel the same way.”
Tess’s blood stilled in her veins. Four years later and he still didn’t understand.
She clutched her tote to her hips, met his gaze and took a long breath. “Then I guess we have nothing else to say to one another.”
His brows rose. “Oh, I think there’s plenty to say, Tess. And I have to ask the obvious question—are you sure?”
She swallowed hard, knowing exactly what he meant. “Am I sure the baby is yours? Yes,” she said quietly. “I’m positive.”
“Because?”
“You’re the only man I’ve been with in the last six months.”
He gave her a vague nod and then moved around the room, dropping onto the couch. He rested his elbows on his knees and ran a weary hand through his hair. “So...what are your plans?”
“To have a healthy baby.”
He didn’t move an inch. “And where do I fit in?”
“That’s your choice, Mitch. I know you probably have mixed feelings about it, considering our history. But I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you.”
His eyes glittered brilliantly, and she could feel the building tension emanating from him, creating a kind of uneasy energy in the room. Once, she’d been able to read him like a book. But now, with so much time and recrimination between them, Tess felt as though she were almost looking at a stranger.
“That’s very generous of you,” he said quietly. Too quietly. And Tess wasn’t fooled. He was mad. “You seem to have it all figured out.”
Tess took a step back. “You’re angry?”
“Perceptive,” he said, and shot to his feet. “But not quite accurate. I’m...confused.”
“By what?”
“We used a condom.”
Okay. She hadn’t considered the possibility that he would question the baby’s paternity.
“I guess it must have broken.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Sometimes that happens.”
“So I have heard,” he said quietly. “But you must know that the last thing I would want is to risk getting you pregnant again.”
As he said the words, Mitch knew they would hurt her. But damnit, he was hurting, too. He couldn’t push down the heavy ache rising up in his chest that quickly grabbed around his ribs like a vice and made breathing steadily almost impossible.
She was staring at him, her eyes shining. Of course she knew that he wouldn’t have wanted to get her pregnant. He’d said as much right before she walked out all those years ago. But he was right to say it. Right to remind her.
“Of course I know that,” she said stiffly, clearly reading his mind. “You made your opinion on the matter abundantly clear four years ago.”
No more babies.
That’s what he’d said. After her fourth and final miscarriage he told her they were done trying to have a family, and he’d watched helplessly as his grief-stricken wife had wept with sadness and despair.
And then he witnessed her resentment setting in.
But his reaction and feelings were valid. Every time she lost a child he had to watch her lose a little of herself, as well. Her anguish was inconsolable. Her despair heart wrenching and excruciating to observe. He’d tried to comfort her, but she withdrew more with each loss. In the end, he couldn’t bear seeing her in so much pain. So, he did what he felt he had to do to protect her. He changed the rules, made it clear that he had no intention of fathering any more children with her.
They were done trying
to have a baby.
At first, her reaction had been one of disbelief and anger. Then she had tried to seduce and cajole and convince him it was worth the risk. But Mitch wouldn’t budge, knowing she was far too emotional to see the reality for what it was. Their reality. They would have one another, and that would need to be enough.
Only, it hadn’t been enough for Tess.
Days later she moved out and left town, and soon after she filed for divorce.
Looking at her now, so close, he realized how much he’d missed her...and yet, he could feel the divide between them growing with each passing second. His gaze dropped to her belly. His child. Could it really be true? Had that crazy and impulsive afternoon resulted in a baby? He knew that Tess wouldn’t lie to him. If she said the baby was his, then he believed her. He knew it would be far less complicated and much easier for her if her baby wasn’t his. She wouldn’t have had to return to Cedar River. She could have continued on with her life, and they might never have seen one another again.
But that wasn’t to be.
He experienced a mix of emotions. Fear was at the top of the list. She’d never gotten as far along in a pregnancy...and if she lost this child, Mitch suspected she might never recover. But she looked well... In fact, she was glowing. And he had a whole bunch of questions he wanted answered.
Copyright © 2019 by Helen Lacey
ISBN-13: 9781488042232
This Time for Keeps
Copyright © 2019 by Rochelle Alers
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