Wanting It All (The Passion Series Book 1)

by Livia Grant

  “You’re drenched my dear. You can deny it all you want, but I can play your body like a well-tuned instrument. If your precious husband knew even half of the tricks I do, you’d never agree to see me again. Stop fighting it Bri. You know this is why you came to me today.”

  Brianna finally allows her body to take over, temporarily silencing the fear thundering in her brain as he resumes her punishment. Her helplessness combined with each hard stroke of his belt is bringing her higher and higher. The pain of her ass being blistered has electrified her core. It’s the switch that turns on that throbbing ache deep inside her sex - an ache so addictive she’s foolishly risked losing the love of her life for another taste.

  Almost as if he can read her mind, Jake knows exactly when to throw the belt to the floor. In one swift motion, he steps close and buries his rock hard cock into her dripping wet sheath. They both cry out.

  There is no need to beg this time. Jake always takes her hard and fast after he’s punished her. Beating her ass red has always been his favorite forms of foreplay and today is no different. He pistons into Brianna’s sex like a man on a mission, grabbing her hips to help pull her onto his cock while he lunges forward. Brianna comes twice before he finally shoots his seed deep in her pussy, once again marking her in his own primal way.

  Jake collapses heavily on top of Bri when he’s spent, crushing her in a way that makes breathing hard. Every muscle in her body is aching from being stretched painfully for hours. She can feel the thin layer of sweat covering her body from her strenuous exertion. She’s relieved when Jake finally stands and quickly begins to dress as she tries to catch her breath and calm down. She can’t see what he’s doing, but after several minutes, she distinctly makes out the sound of the door opening and slamming shut.

  “JAKE! YOU ASSHOLE! UNTIE ME!” Bri is beyond frantic that he would leave her like this to be found by the housekeeper. And when? Tomorrow morning?

  A full minute of terror passes before Jake places his hand intimately on her warm, red ass. Brianna jumps with surprise as she feels him gently removing the plug. She’s even more surprised when he starts placing tender kisses down her back and across her now blistered bottom. He seductively massages her tender butt for a few minutes before finally reaching to untie her ankles and wrists.

  Despite finally being free of the restrictive ropes, Brianna finds that her legs have lost all feeling from being tied in the compromising position for so long. Masquerading as a gentleman, Jake scoops her up in his strong arms and carries her to the bed, gently laying her well-used body down on her side to avoid putting pressure on her tender ass. Brianna wants to hate him. She wants to only remember how mean he was to her, and how he has terrified her today. She knows focusing on that will make it easier to avoid getting pulled back into his web in the future. Unfortunately, as he often does at the end of one of their rendezvous, Jake gives her just a small glimpse of why she had found it so hard to leave him in the first place.

  He kneels on the carpet, eye-level with Brianna, wiping at the tears that have continued to fall. He brushes her sex-mussed long brunette hair away from her face and ever so gently leans in to place small kisses from her forehead down the bridge of her nose, eventually ending with a quick kiss to her lips. When he tries to turn it into a passionate kiss, Brianna struggles to push him away. As hypocritical as it seems, she’s always felt that letting Jake kiss her is cheating on Markus in a more intimate way than letting him stick his dick into her body. Jake is having none of it today. He snakes his hand through her long hair and roughly grabs the back of her head, kissing her forcibly. She tries to resist, but as soon as Jake’s tongue invades her mouth, all resistance is gone.

  Jake knows exactly how to kiss Bri in a way that makes her forget all else. His tongue invades her kissable mouth as urgently as his cock had invaded her pussy only moments before. Only after he has Bri again moaning with building passion does he finally pull out of their embrace, staying close. Brianna has her eyes closed tightly, praying he’ll just leave before he can see the conflicting emotions he ignites in her.

  “Open your eyes, Brianna,” he whispers, as if reading her mind.

  Bri waits as long as she can in the silence of the room, but when she realizes he isn’t going to leave until she obeys, she finally opens her eyes to stare up into Jake’s deep blue ones. What she sees is surprising. She’d expected to see him gloating at his victory over her body, but what is shining in his eyes is an emotion she has never seen there before. If she had to describe it, she would call it tenderness. Within a few seconds, a small smile brightens Jake’s face as he addresses his ex-girlfriend.

  “I really have missed you Brianna. You have to see how great we are together. I’ll be waiting for your call when you finally get tired of playing house out in the suburbs with your vanilla-sex husband. Don’t wait too long to come to your senses and leave him, baby. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to resist picking up the phone to enlighten him myself.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.” And then it hits her. “Why the hell do you even care if I stay married? I would think you’d be happy with this sick arrangement. You get to fuck me without being tied down. From day one, you’ve always told me that you’re not marriage material and you were right. You suck at relationships Jake.”

  “Maybe. But times change, Bri. I’ve had enough time away from you now to understand how perfect we really are for each other. If you would be honest with yourself for one minute, you’d see that too.” He looks so damn confident, like he’s crazy enough to believe what he’s saying.

  “Jake, you’re crazy. The only thing we do well is sex. It’s true you know how to push my buttons like no one else ever has, but you don’t have the first clue about what it takes to really make me happy. Today was a mistake. The first time you conned me into doing this a few months ago was a mistake. It has to end. Don’t call me or come see me again. This is good-bye Jake.”

  They spend a few seconds staring each other down before Jake starts to laugh his mocking laugh. He stands and looks down on her intimately.

  “We’ll see about that Brianna. You said that last time, but let a few weeks go by and that fire inside you starts to flare up again. Your wimp of a husband doesn’t even know that fire is there, let alone how to kindle it. I’ll see you again soon, my pet, just as soon as you start to smolder.”

  Jake leans down and gives Bri one last almost violent kiss before finally releasing her and walking to the door, leaving her alone without a backward glance. The heavy hotel door slams loudly, drawing a flinch from Brianna. Within seconds, a renewed wave of remorse washes over her as the sobs she’s been holding back finally overcome her.

  There are so many thoughts swarming through her that it’s hard for her to know what has her the most upset. Is it the emotional humiliation and physical trials that Jake had put her through? Is it the guilt of having sex with someone other than her husband, or her fear of Markus finding out and leaving her? Or, just maybe, her biggest fear that Jake is right - that while she loves Markus, at the end of the day, his inability to please her sexually will destroy their marriage.

  ‘Damn you, Jake. You’re wrong. I love Markus. There won’t be a next time.’

  After a few minutes of wallowing in her self-loathing, Brianna forces herself to her feet and stumbles towards the bathroom for a quick shower to rinse away all evidence of her infidelity. She gasps as she catches the first glimpse of her red ass in the oversized mirror.

  She talks out loud to the empty room. “Damn you to hell, Jake, for leaving marks on me.”

  She also sees the remnants of the lube smeared across her ass. She has always resisted butt play, something she’d even refused when Markus had asked her to try. Now the guilt of letting Jake be the first to play with that most private part of her body sends a new wave of remorse over her.

  Remembering the recent calls from Markus, Brianna forces herself to snap out of her thoughts long enough to turn on the shower to the ho
ttest temperature she can stand. She needs to hurry, clean up and get out of there. She doesn’t want to call Markus back from the room in which she’d betrayed him.

  e

  Twenty minutes later, Brianna is walking through the expansive lobby of the Four Seasons, her hair still damp. She regrets forgetting to phone down to the valet to have her car brought around. The ten minutes she has to wait for her Lexus SUV seem to drag on forever. She uses the time to finally listen to the voicemail message Markus had left her less than an hour before.

  “Hey sweetheart. Where are you? I wanted you to be the first person I shared the good news with. The judgment came back in record time this afternoon and it was a complete victory for my client. I’m going to get out of here early so we can…”

  Markus’s voice sounds strained to Brianna, and there is a long pause in the message. She starts to think that the call got dropped before she hears Markus continue on. “I’ve had a few surprises lately so I thought I’d surprise you by coming home early to take you out for dinner and then to a club. I’ll be home by six. I have 7:30 reservations at Hugo’s. Could you wear your sexy little black dress tonight? Oh, and don’t forget to wear those expensive red fuck-me pumps you insisted on buying a few months ago. Tonight is the perfect occasion for them.”

  The message ends there. Brianna looks down at her watch and panics again when she sees it’s nearly five. Even with no traffic, it takes thirty minutes to get from downtown out to their upscale suburban home. At this hour on a Friday, it could take triple the time. Since she was supposed to be spending the afternoon working at the salon that Markus had bought her as a wedding present, she knows she can’t even use traffic as an excuse for being late. The salon is just five minutes from their house. She’s just going to have to pray traffic is light.

  Once on the highway, Brianna calls call her best friend, who also happens to be her second in command at her salon. She’s going to need Tiffany to close for her tonight and more importantly, she’s going to need to make sure Tiffany is going cover for her if Markus calls. Tiffany is the only person that knows about Bri’s infidelity. In fact, there is nothing about her life that Tiffany doesn’t know.

  The two women have been best friends since becoming college roommates over nine years ago and share everything. Beyond the occasional squabble, they’ve always gotten along. But now Bri can’t help but to think back to how angry Tiffany was earlier in the day when Jake had shown up at the salon unannounced. His arrival had precipitated their first argument, which ended with Tiffany telling Bri to get her head out of her ass and remember what a jerk Jake was.

  ‘Why didn’t I listen to her?’

  And the biggest irony of all? Brianna had actually planned on telling Jake to take a hike today, but after the heated argument with Tiff, Brianna had stormed out of the salon office and straight into his comforting arms. He’d been lurking outside the door and no doubt heard their entire argument and was more than happy to provide Bri some solace, especially since he and Tiffany hated one another.

  In all honestly, Brianna can’t really blame Tiffany for being so anti-Jake. After all, Tiff had a front row seat to all of the totally fucked up things Jake did to Bri during the two years they dated. It was Tiffany who had to help pick up the broken pieces of her friend each time Jake had torn her down, both mentally and physically. In addition to frequent verbal lashings, Jake’s sexual style with Briana had become increasingly rough. By the time Bri had finally been ready to end things with Jake, he had started to include borderline violent sexual play and discipline. Jake tried to pass it off as a BDSM lifestyle, but Tiffany characterized it as domestic abuse and often tried to convince Brianna that she was being battered.

  While Bri never had to seek medical treatment, there had been several close calls when Jake’s use of his favorite implement – the cane - caused long- lasting bruises and welts. It was only after Jake had stolen her away for a Valentines Day weekend to send her home with dozens of open cuts across her butt, upper thighs and breasts that Brianna had finally come to her senses and dumped him. His continued refusal to allow a safe word for her safety was the final straw, and that weekend all of her screaming and begging to stop had gone unheeded. It had taken her weeks to heal physically and even longer to heal emotionally. Tiffany had been sure to throw the ‘Valentine’s Day Torture’ into their argument that morning when she expressed her fears not for Bri’s marriage, but for her safety as well.

  Knowing she can’t avoid it any longer, Bri calls the salon. Tiffany has obviously been waiting for her number to pop up on the Caller ID.

  “It’s about time you phoned in,” Tiffany answers angrily. “While you were out fucking around, your husband called here twice looking for you. Damn you for putting me in this position. I love Markus, and I hate having to lie to him.”

  Brianna’s face flushes with shame. “What did you tell him?” Surely Tiffany wasn’t so upset with her that she’d told him the truth?

  Tiffany lets out a long sigh. “The first time I told him you were with a client and couldn’t be disturbed, but when he called back again saying he couldn’t reach you on your cell, I knew he wouldn’t keep buying that. How could you do this to him, Bri? Or to me? I was maid-of-honor at your wedding. Do you know how much I hated lying to him and telling him that you’d left to go to the gym to work out?”

  Brianna releases the nervous breath she’d been holding. “Thank you so much for covering for me, Tiff. That was a good idea about the gym. Did he believe you?” She can hear the quaver in her voice.

  “Of course he believed me,” Tiffany replies accusingly. “He’s a great guy who has no reason to think I would ever lie to him. And for the record, I really resent being drug into this.”

  “I’m so sorry, Tiffany. Truly, I am. You’re right. I’m a total idiot to cheat on Markus, especially with Jake. I promise you. Today was the last time.”

  “I wish I could believe you, Bri. I truly don’t know what the hell Jake has that makes you willing to risk so much, but it’s clear you have no will power when it comes to him.” She pauses before asking softly, “Did he hurt you today?”

  Now it’s Bri’s turn to sigh. “No. Not really. Not in a bad way, although I’m worried he left some marks that may not fade before Markus sees them. He promised me he wouldn’t do anything to leave a mark and then the asshole whipped me with his belt.”

  “Okay, okay. That’s a bit TMI. You’re more than welcome to share the gory details of your sex life with Markus, but I prefer not to think about you and Jake together. It just pisses me off.”

  “Fair enough. I hate to ask another favor of you after you’ve done so much already for me today, but can you close up the shop after the last appointments tonight? I’d planned on coming back, but Markus left me a message that his big case wrapped up today and he’s coming home early and we’re going out to dinner and a club tonight. I need to head straight home if I hope to beat him there.”

  “Bri, I told you that Jason and I were planning on going out tonight,” Tiffany wearily replies. “I’d actually hoped to be out of here already.” Before Brianna can even try to pressure her, Tiffany continues. “We were just going out for dinner so I’ll call him and tell him I’ll be a bit late. I’ll stay, but Bri, seriously - you really do owe me big this time and not just for working late. I mean it. This is the last time I’m covering for you with Markus. He’s too great of a guy to treat like this. He’s drop dead gorgeous. He’s rich, powerful and successful. He loves you so much and has done nothing but treat you like a pampered princess since the day he met you. He doesn’t deserve this.”

  “You’re right, Tiffany. I love him so much and I love you. I swear. Today was the end of Jake.” Brianna’s resolve is strong as she makes this commitment to her best friend. Tiff is right. She’s been an idiot.

  “I really want to believe you Bri, but I’ve heard it before. You’re going to need to prove it to me now, kiddo. Go out tonight. Have fun with your husband. Spend some t
ime trying to be more honest with him about what it is you need from him that he isn’t giving to you. Give Markus a fighting chance to fill that need that’s driving you to a creep like Jake.”

  “I’ll try. It’s not the easiest conversation to have. Markus is the antithesis of Jake. I really appreciate how much he loves me and pampers me, but sometimes… well, damn it… sometimes I just want him to come home, drag me into his home office, whip my panties down and take me hard and fast over his huge desk while he spanks my ass nice and hard with a ruler. Is it crazy that I’d rather have that than candles, wine, and rose petals?”

  Bri is relieved to hear her friend’s laughter on the other end of the phone. “I get it. I really do. Gentle certainly has it’s place, but even us liberated twenty-first century women need to be dragged back to the cave and claimed by their caveman every once in awhile.”

  “That’s the hard part for me, Tiff. I would change it if I could, but there’s no denying it. There is some part of me that needs to be dominated at home and in the bedroom. Having to ask for it or tell Markus what I need defeats the whole purpose. What really sucks is that Jake is too rough and Markus is too soft. What I need is a happy medium. Does that make me selfish that I want it all?”

  “No, it doesn’t make you selfish at all, but here’s the thing Bri, and there’s no getting around it. You. Are. Married. And to a really great man who loves you very much. He’s almost everything you ever wanted in a man. You need to open up and talk to him about this and see if you can mold him into what you’re missing. If you don’t, you’re going to wake up one day and find you’ve lost him.”

  Brianna considers her friend’s advice as she inches forward in the Friday afternoon Chicago traffic-jam. “Maybe your right Tiff. If I want it all then I’m going to have to be brave enough to try to talk to Markus about this again. The thing that gets me is that I’ve seen him in action at work. He’s the most kick-ass defense lawyer in the whole Chicago metropolitan area. It’s a big part of what attracted me to him. He’s so powerful and demanding in his professional life. He exudes this yummy ‘I’m in control here’ attitude in literally every part of his life except with me. It’s driving me nuts. Last Friday night we drove around for twenty minutes trying to decide where to go to dinner because he didn’t want to choose something I wouldn’t like. I ended up choosing Denny’s just to piss him off.”