If Not for a Bee

by Carol Ross

  Aidan grinned and responded in a sugary tone, “How sweet, Blake. Let’s hug.”

  Blake chuckled. “Aidan, at least promise me you’ll think about it?”

  Aidan turned back to Meredith and asked another question. When the meeting finally concluded Meredith stood and reached for her coat. Aidan immediately spotted the lavender scarf curled inside. Janie’s work was unmistakable. And the sight of it caused a longing to see her so intense that it startled him.

  Her one-word response to his text asking if they could talk spoke volumes: Sure.

  Janie had to understand why he hadn’t told her about Meredith. Aidan had never met anyone who seemed to get him like Janie did. If she didn’t understand, things were probably hopeless for him where relationships were concerned.

  He turned his focus back to Meredith. “Where did you get that scarf?”

  “Isn’t it lovely?” Meredith pulled a matching hat from the pocket of her jacket and arranged it on her head. “I bought both of these at the tourism office. I stopped there to speak with your sister about the best place for Kyle Wesley and his crew to stay here in Rankins, and to get some ideas about activities to arrange for them. The tourism office sells local crafts and artwork. Apparently some woman from right here in Rankins makes them. Emily showed me these sweaters she knits—incredible. I’m going to get ahold of her and see if she’ll make me one.”

  Meredith started toward the door. “I’m staying at the Faraway Inn. I left my card with my cell number if you need me. I’ll be here in the morning at seven to prep you guys before Kyle Wesley arrives and I—”

  “Wait a second,” Aidan said.

  Meredith stopped and quirked one eyebrow in inquiry.

  “Did you mean it when you said you would do something to make it up to me?”

  Her eyes widened with surprise and she responded eagerly. “If I can, Aidan—yes, of course.”

  * * *

  WHEN MEREDITH WENT to Emily for advice about how to entertain Kyle Wesley during his visit to Rankins, Emily ran with the opportunity to show off Rankins’s many virtues. Emily and Meredith made a dynamic team, and Janie decided she wouldn’t be surprised to see Kyle Wesley relocate to Rankins by the time they were through.

  Kyle and part of his eighteen-person entourage embarked on a fishing trip with Bering’s guide service, while the rest of the group enjoyed a hiking adventure. Over the next three days Emily organized a glacier-viewing excursion and an airplane ride over the valley and coastline in one of Cricket Blackburn’s small planes, followed by a picnic bonfire on the town’s waterfront. Bird-watching, wildlife-viewing and skeet-shooting were among the other popular offerings, and one evening the group was treated to an exclusive catered seafood dinner at the Faraway Inn prepared by the inn’s talented chef, Javier.

  By the third day, Janie couldn’t help but feel sorry for Aidan. Between maintaining his bee studies, keeping up with Emily and Meredith’s demands and entertaining Kyle, he seemed to be spreading himself pretty thin. She knew how much he disliked this kind of socializing, and in spite of her disappointment about their personal situation, she appreciated how he still managed to make time for her boys, which, she told herself, was what prompted her to do what she did.

  Janie met him at the door that evening as he dropped off Reagan. He looked worn-out and Janie felt herself soften at the sight of his tousled hair and rumpled clothes, both more tousled and rumpled than normal.

  “Hey, do you want to come in? Escape all the madness for a bit?”

  He’d been gripping the door frame with one hand. Now he pushed away and gave her an eager look. “Yes. I was actually hoping you would ask.”

  Against her best efforts to remain casual, Janie felt her heart leap in her chest. “You were?”

  “Blake wanted me to meet him and Kyle for a late dinner, but I told him I had plans. If you didn’t invite me in I was going to go hide at Bering and Emily’s.”

  “I happen to have an extra steak I could put on the grill, a spare baked potato in the oven and a fresh-baked cobbler if you want to firm up those plans?”

  “Thank you.” He blew out the words on a sigh of relief.

  An hour later, Aidan leaned back in his chair and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “That was delicious. Thank you. Your food is... I don’t know how to describe it. Emily had talked about your cooking but I didn’t...and I never... Words just don’t do it justice.”

  She laughed. “I’m glad you enjoy it. I like to cook. How are things going?”

  He nodded. “Fine, I think. Blake tells me they are anyway. Blake wanted me to give everybody a tour of my lab and, you know, I’m not always certain about how I come across.”

  “I know.”

  He executed his lazy grin, but now Janie suspected exactly what that grin was hiding.

  “It’s called glossophobia, right? Your fear of public speaking.”

  His smile melted as his eyes met hers, and for the first time since she’d met him she saw something there she’d never seen before, an emotion she would have guessed he didn’t even possess—fear.

  “Don’t worry, Aidan, you’re really good at hiding it. You’ve obviously learned to live with this very well. I don’t think I would have ever seen it if it wasn’t for the interview.”

  He tipped his head in question.

  “Your resistance to interviews was my first clue—after I got over taking that so personally.” They exchanged grins. “There’s also the list of off-limits topics, your avoidance of the film premiere and the fact that you’re not exactly what I would call chatty in a crowd. When Jacinda asked you to speak in her class, I saw something then, too. I didn’t realize what, at the time. But then I was watching footage of your guest spots on Here’s the Dirt and I saw you—”

  “You saw me?”

  “You didn’t know the camera was running, but you were rehearsing your answers. I...it’s the same thing Reagan does before he speaks in front of people. He does great if he knows the questions and what he’s going to say, if he practices and memorizes his answers—just like you do. He doesn’t have your degree of fear, but... You are really, really good, Aidan. I don’t think anyone else will ever figure it out. But for some reason I did. It just popped into my head and... I knew.”

  His gaze felt so intense Janie wanted to look away, but she didn’t.

  Finally, he tapped his fingers on the tabletop for a few seconds and attempted a smile, but Janie could see the pain in his eyes. “Which is funny, really, that you’re the one who figured it out because I’ve never been as comfortable with another person as I am with you—except maybe my mom and Emily. But that’s different.”

  Janie didn’t want to ask how it was different. She had to keep this friendly, platonic. She could be his friend, but if he was to say something—the right thing—she didn’t know how she would be strong enough to resist. But she had to; she’d already had a taste of what kind of damage getting involved with him could do.

  “Does Blake know?”

  “No, nobody really knows. Blake knows that I don’t like public speaking and that I avoid it as much as possible, but we’ve never discussed it as my having a phobia per se. I just annoy the hell out of him by avoiding situations where I may have to speak. Like you said, I’m okay if I can prepare, practice. And I know it’s irrational so I try as much as possible to tackle it, face it head-on, but sometimes, especially when it’s sprung on me, it’s...it can be a struggle.”

  “Now I understand why you don’t like the publicity surrounding your work and why you don’t want to attend the premiere, but, Aidan, wouldn’t you like to see your film displayed like that? In New York? Couldn’t you go and—”

  Aidan frowned. “I’ve thought about it, believe me, but it wouldn’t work. I would tell Blake that I don’t want to speak, but inevitably he would put me on the
spot. He does that—he likes to be in the limelight and so he doesn’t believe that I don’t. He thinks I’m shy.” Aidan added a chuckle.

  Janie grinned. She definitely wouldn’t describe him as shy.

  He was quiet for a long moment. Finally he took a deep breath and asked, “Do you think I’m a coward?”

  “A coward? Are you kidding me? No, of course not. A man who studies an insect that could literally kill him is no coward. A man who does what you do, who faces the dangers every day that you face out in the jungle or the dessert or the ocean, or wherever you happen to be, is not a coward.”

  His lips twitched like they did when he was searching for words. “That’s different—I’m not afraid of bees or ants or snakes or jellyfish or whatever other danger I might face in the field. I mean, not in this debilitating way. I weigh the risks, prepare myself, minimize my chances of injury and do what I have to do. If a problem can be solved I will solve it. But this...for some reason, Janie, this problem, I can’t seem to solve.”

  Janie saw the anguish in his eyes, mixed with maybe some embarrassment, and a flood of emotions crashed over her—so many emotions... She nearly laughed out loud as she thought about how she’d been assuring herself that she’d only fallen for him a little. She was so far past a little, she didn’t know how she would ever recover.

  “I had a terrible stutter when I was young. Speech therapy and my mom’s patience helped me, obviously, overcome that. But as I’m sure you can imagine, in addition to my other...eccentricities, I was teased unmercifully. I learned how to handle the rest, but I have never quite completely overcome my fear of public speaking.”

  She remained quiet, hoping he’d share more of his experiences.

  Aidan’s phone buzzed on the table between them. Janie saw Meredith’s number pop up on the screen. He picked it up, read a text and rubbed a hand over his jaw. He looked at her and something in his tired eyes made her heart flutter. He sighed. “Bad timing. I...uh, I need to go. I need to see Meredith about something. I wouldn’t go right now if it wasn’t really important.”

  “I understand,” she said even as she felt a sharp stab of disappointment.

  He stood, and stared out the window for a few seconds before meeting her gaze again. He shifted from one foot to the other. “So... I need to explain about Meredith.”

  “Aidan, no—you don’t. That is your business. I’m sure you had your reasons for not telling me and—”

  “Not the reasons you’re probably thinking. Kyle and his gang are leaving on Friday, and there are some things we need to talk about—and something I’d like to show you. Can we get together this weekend?”

  “Aidan, I can’t. I’m leaving for the weekend, too, for Shay’s bridal-shower spa getaway. Friday is the boys’ last day of school and...” Janie suddenly felt like canceling.

  He pushed a hand through his hair and Janie had to fight the urge to reach up and smooth it back in place. “That’s right. Emily’s going, too. When will you be back?”

  “Sunday morning.”

  He nodded. “Sunday evening then? Is that too soon? Will you need more time to spend with the kids before I steal you away for a few hours?”

  “Are you kidding me? Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be ready for another weekend getaway.”

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING a knock on Janie’s door made Gabe and Finn squeal and run toward the entryway. They loved company, usually it meant they were about to be showered with attention from their grandmother or someone else equally enamored with their tiny identical selves. Janie walked over and swung open the door and found herself face-to-face with the last person she would have expected to show up at her home.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  GARETH WONDERED HOW he could have been so stupid.

  He’d panicked—plain and simple. Fifth period PE and he had forgotten his gym shoes in his locker. He’d gone back to get them, and in a way it was lucky for him he had because he’d spotted Harmon Vetcher’s dad in the office flirting with the secretary, Ms. Givens. A wave of nauseating fear froze him in his tracks for a few seconds. No... Not today, he prayed, even as he knew what was happening because there was only one reason that Marv Vetcher would be loitering around in the office.

  Marv Vetcher was a police officer as well as Harmon’s dad. Ever since those tenth graders had been caught with pot and some other drugs of a still unconfirmed but wildly rumored variety last year, the police had been called in to do random locker checks.

  Gareth thought for a moment, gulping in a couple deep breaths. He hurried to his locker, his hand shaking as he dialed his combination. He cursed under his breath when he realized he’d done it wrong, he started over and felt a pop of relief as the lock opened.

  He grabbed the paper bag and looked down at what he was wearing. No place to hide anything in his shorts and T-shirt. Forcing himself to think, he reached out to his sweatshirt hanging on the peg and felt inside the pocket. Yes, the key was still there. His fingers curled around the metal and he removed the key from the pocket. He looked down at his feet and then quickly changed into his gym shoes.

  He could run faster in those.

  * * *

  MEREDITH MONTOYO HELD out a hand to Janie, her white smile gleaming against her lovely mocha-colored skin. An ungracious thought flashed through Janie’s mind before she could stop it. What was wrong with her? Why was she so determined to dislike this woman? This gorgeous, younger woman who had managed to win the most intelligent, interesting, complex and...kind man she’d ever met. Of course she wasn’t jealous. Ha.

  “Janie? Hi, I hope it’s okay that I stopped by?”

  “Um, sure, Meredith, come in. Is there something I can help you with?”

  Meredith walked in wearing an expensive-looking pantsuit and drenched with the scent of even more expensive-smelling perfume. At least she was wearing sensible shoes. MacGyver jogged toward her, his tail wagging excitedly. Meredith kneeled and buried her face in his sheepdog fur.

  She kissed him on the top of the head. “Look at you, mister. You’re a beauty, aren’t you? You make me miss my Bellini.”

  Meredith, a dog person? Huh...

  Janie invited her into the living room. Meredith patted Gabe’s head with a stiff hand as she walked by, leaving both the twins staring uncomprehendingly at the perceived brush-off. Janie snickered and hoped Meredith didn’t notice—clearly her human clan was used to more deferential treatment.

  “Please, have a seat. Can I get you something? Coffee, water, juice box?”

  “No, thank you. I’m fine. You have a lovely home—very charming.” MacGyver sat on her feet while Meredith scratched his ears.

  Janie followed her gaze around the toy-scattered floor, the coffee table containing two open picture books and three snack cups full of dry cereal and goldfish crackers. A pile of her knitting was oozing out of a basket on the floor beside her recliner—it appeared that Crosby had been napping in the soft yarn again. Meredith sat on the worn sofa next to a wadded-up blanket and a giraffe pillow buddy.

  “Thank you, I’m really into that toy-store/day-care décor that is trendy right now.” She motioned at the spilled cereal on the table in front of her. “I’m almost thinking more Cheerios, though, what do you think?”

  Meredith’s mouth fell open and then she surprised Janie by laughing—a genuine sound filled with joy.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so used to being polite these days that sometimes I forget to be...real.” Meredith gestured around. “Honestly, all of this stuff screams family and children and I love that. It reminds me of my parents’ home growing up.”

  Janie ran a hand through her hair. “No, it’s fine. Joking about the mess is my way of coping.”

  Meredith reached out to pet Crosby, who’d jumped up beside her on the sofa. Meredith didn’t bat an eye when Cro
sby crawled onto her lap and curled into a contented ball while she scratched his cheeks.

  She pointed toward Janie’s basket of knitting. “That yarn is gorgeous—are you making a sweater?”

  “Yes...it’s for Violet—my niece.”

  Meredith eyed it appreciatively. “Very pretty. How long have you been knitting?”

  Janie thought this might be one of the oddest experiences she’d ever had. She had no idea what this woman was doing in her home and now they were going to chat about knitting?

  “Years. I learned from a friend of my grandmother’s when I was about ten.”

  “Wow. So you could probably knit pretty much anything, right? I’m guessing you made this blanket? Are these your favorite colors?” She asked the questions rapid-fire, running a hand over the throw on the back of the sofa that Janie had knitted in shades of green and blue.

  “Pretty much, and yes, I do like green.”

  “Awesome. I understand from talking with Laurel at the Rankins Press that you wrote a human interest piece on Aidan?”

  Janie reeled from the subject change wondering where this could possibly be going. Was Aidan using Meredith to discuss the aspects of the article that he didn’t like? She’d only turned in the piece yesterday. She didn’t even know if Laurel had had a chance to look it over yet, much less Aidan.

  “Um, yes, that’s correct.” Finn crawled onto Janie’s lap and eyed Meredith suspiciously.

  “Good for you. Do you like working at the Rankins Press?”

  Janie shook her head. “Thank you, but I didn’t really have anything to do with securing the interview. That’s Laurel’s thing. And yes, I do like my job—it pays the bills and I write a column that I enjoy.”

  “I’ve seen your column—it’s fabulous. Aidan doesn’t do interviews, though, you must know that. So, if you got one—he must really trust you.”

  Trust? Janie thought about the circumstances surrounding the interview. She certainly wasn’t going to tell Meredith about their complicated beginnings and Aidan’s attempt to assuage his guilt. Or about how she had begun to believe in the preceding weeks that she had, in fact, been gaining his trust, that he had begun to confide in her. Until Meredith had shown up in the flesh and enlightened her.