Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1)

by Jones,Lesley

  I stepped back to Liam’s side and raised my glass of wine. I was still pissed off at Will, but I wasn’t going to let him spoil things.

  My anger at Olivia had cooled, and I could feel happiness creeping in. Liam and I hadn’t had a chance to talk yet, but I hoped everything that he’d said before her arrival still stood. I hadn’t told him directly that I loved him, but I’d put it out there, he knew.

  He laced his fingers through mine and turned to look at me.

  “Merry Christmas, pretty girl. Here’s to the first of many.”

  He kissed the top of my head and then pulled me over towards the sofa. I flicked on a music channel and The Killers blasted one of my all-time favourite songs, “Somebody Told Me”, into the room.

  Sasha came through the door right then.

  “Merry Christmas mother fuckers.” She shouted, and knowing that I loved the song, she grabbed a hold of me and pulled me into the middle of the room and we danced around like a pair of lunatics. Wolf Mother’s “Joker and the Thief” was up next and we carried on.

  Liam watched and laughed at our antics. Then, when the song ended, he pulled me down into his lap.

  “So, Sarah Carter, now what?”

  His lips were pressed against my ear, his warm whisky scented breath and just about everything else about him sent goose bumps marching across my skin, despite how hot I was from dancing.

  The chair we were sitting in hid us from my brother and Will’s views, so I wrapped my arms around Liam’s neck. I may’ve been pissed off with Will’s attitude and what he’d said to me earlier, but I didn’t want to rub his face in what was going on between me and Liam.

  “You tell me, Liam Delaney,” I whispered back, still a bit breathless from my dance moves. “You’ve swept into my country, my town, and my life. You’ve taken my heart hostage and have hijacked all my thoughts. What more could I possibly give you?”

  He smiled at me, his blue eyes sparkled and caused my insides to do all kinds of clenchy things that I would never admit to.

  “Those three words.”

  “What?”

  He gestured towards the telly with a tilt of his head. Snow Patrol was playing.

  “But they’re said too much,” I told him quietly.

  “Never. Not between us. Tell me. You told everyone else, now tell me.”

  “I love you.”

  “I know.”

  He kissed me gently on the mouth and then pulled me up to dance with him. We moved slowly around my brother’s living room, our bodies melded together, my fingers laced around his neck, his hands on my arse, pressing me into him as he quietly sang the words to “Chasing Cars” into my ear. Me and him, we didn’t need anyone or anything. Just each other.

  The rest of the evening was spent playing our favourite songs, drinking, talking, laughing, and occasionally dancing around my brother’s living room.

  When the drinking games started in the kitchen, Liam and I slipped away upstairs and headed to my bedroom.

  In the room that had been designated as mine since my brother bought the house, I watched in silence as Liam slid into bed beside me. I wasn’t shy, I wasn’t nervous. If anything at all, I was desperate. Desperate for his touch, his taste. I needed to feel him inside me. I needed the intimacy that I’d only ever found with him.

  He climbed between my legs and held himself above me on his elbows. His forehead rested against mine.

  “Fuck I’ve missed you.”

  My hips were raised off the bed, circling and searching for what? A connection? Friction?

  “Keep still, pretty girl.”

  His words vibrated against my throat as he kissed, licked, and sucked, right in that part where it dips into a hollow. It drove me in-fucking-sane—sweary insane.

  I shuddered.

  He chuckled.

  He sat back on his knees and looked down at me. The very tip of his tongue swept across his bottom lip, and I couldn’t stop myself from raking my teeth over my own bottom lip as the memories of what pleasure that tongue was capable of floated in my mind.

  I watched his face intently, my breaths becoming heavy as I fought the urge to squirm whilst his eyes roamed my naked body.

  He swallowed so hard I saw the column of his throat move with the intensity. His blue eyes met mine.

  “Looking at you naked . . .” He paused, his voice was thick with emotion and he cleared his throat, aiming, I think to gain some control of what he was feeling. I, on the other hand, just let my tears fall. It had been too emotional of a day for me to hold anything back.

  And why should I? I’d spent years hiding from what I wanted, looking from the outside in. I always felt unworthy of love. Tainted by my mother’s actions. I knew now that wasn’t the case. I was as worthy and entitled to love and to be loved as the next person and was prepared now to give Liam my all. Every part of me.

  “Looking at you naked.” He started again. “Feeling your legs wrapped around me. Knowing that you’re mine.”

  He stopped talking again and drew in a shaky breath.

  “I could cry, Sarah. You make me feel so fucking much that I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to do with it. These past few weeks without you . . .” He shook his head slowly as he looked down over my body again. “I don’t know how to say, how to explain in a way that would justify how painful it’s been without you and how fucking happy I am to be with you, here, right now.”

  Tears slid backwards across my face and pooled in my ears and around the back of my neck. My breaths became ragged and shaky as I tried to control the sob that was becoming desperate for release.

  “What made me think I could live without this? What the fuck was going through my head when I thought I’d be able to walk away and leave you with him?”

  The noise I made was more of a whimper than a sob when it finally came. He leaned in and kissed both my eyelids.

  “Saying ‘I love you’ is putting it in the plainest, simplest terms and doesn’t even begin to cover what I actually feel for you. All of me, every aspect of my life, every beat of my heart and every breath from my lungs. Each and every thought that crosses my mind. . . All of everything about me, will now become all about you. Are you ready for that, Sarah Carter? This isn’t my proposal, not here right now, not like this, but one day soon. Very fucking soon, I want you to become Sarah Delaney.”

  The next sound I made was most definitely a sob.

  “Will you say yes, pretty girl? Will you let me make you my wife?”

  I nodded.

  “Yeah?” He smiled down at me, his own eyes shining with tears.

  “Say the words. I need to hear them. I need us to tell each other everything.”

  “Yes. Yes, Liam Delaney, I’ll be your Mrs Del, your Mrs Pretty Girl. I’ll be your wife. And yes to telling each other everything. No more lies. No more not mentioning things, and no more hiding our own feelings from each other. Life’s too short, let’s just live it and see where it takes us.”

  “Back to you, baby. You are my life, so it’ll always take me right back to you.”

  ***

  I was woken Christmas Eve morning by Liam’s phone vibrating on the bedside table next to where he was still sleeping soundly.

  I reached across and picked it up, saw it was his sister Mags, and answered.

  “Liam’s phone.”

  “Oh, um, hey. Is he around?” A feminine but husky voiced Australian asked.

  “He’s sleeping right now; can I take a message?”

  “That would . . . um . . . be—who exactly am I talking to? Sorry, don’t mean to be rude but don’t wanna be giving the family secrets to just anyone.”

  Direct, just like her brother, who was currently looking at me with just one eye open. He was lying flat on his back, the duvet lying low across his hips. I reached out and traced the trail of hair that ran down the length of his body. He grabbed my wrist, just as I reached the edge of the duvet, before pushing it down onto his hard dick. I wrapped my hand aroun
d it and gave a little tug.

  “Jesus fuck Sarah.” He groaned.

  “This is Sarah, and I swear that you can trust me with all your family secrets, especially the ones that involve Liam.”

  I winked at him as I spoke. He uncurled my fingers from around his dick, which put an end to my ministrations.

  “Sarah? Oh fuck, you two finally sorted your shit out and got back together?”

  “We finally did.”

  “Well thank fuck for that. No more late-night calls from pussy of a brother.”

  “Umm, I can’t guarantee that, I don’t intend on letting him off too lightly. He may still require back up and support yet.”

  “Well fuck me, no wonder my little bro fell so hard and fast, I think I might already be just a little bit in love you myself.”

  I grinned both at Maggie’s comment and Liam’s face as he pushed himself up and sat back against the headboard.

  “Who is it?”

  “Your sister,” I whispered as I pulled the phone away from my mouth a bit.

  “Is he awake? Put him on, or better still, put the phone on speaker. I have news that affects both of you.”

  Unsure of how Liam’s phone worked, I passed it to him.

  “Maggie has news, put the phone on speaker.”

  He changed the setting and put the phone on the duvet between us. Lifting his arm, he motioned for me to get closer, without hesitation I wrapped myself around him and rested my head on his chest.

  “Morning, Mags. What’s happening?”

  “Hey, Lee, you finally grew some and went and got your girl, hey?”

  “Not sure if I’m fully forgiven yet, but I did a lot of begging last night.”

  “Yeah, I bet. Always did have a reputation for being a dog, so begging would be right up your street. Make him work for it, Sarah. Don’t you be letting him off easily, darl.”

  “Don’t plan to.”

  It was quite for a beat, and I became aware of the goose bumps developing across my skin as Liam stroked my bare hip with the tips of his fingers.

  “Listen, I was gonna wait until tomorrow to call but thought I’d deliver this little gift to you early. It’s made it even more poignant now that you’re hearing it together—”

  “Spit it out, Mags. It’ll be New Year’s before you finish.”

  I expected bickering to break out between the siblings, but instead, Maggie just went right ahead with the best news ever.

  “Porsche Markham has filed for divorce, stating Olivia Romanelli as the other woman. She’s also offered a shit ton of evidence proving that Seb is the father of Olivia’s baby.”

  I think we both stopped breathing as Maggie spoke. Liam sat forward, and I moved out of the way to give him room. I also wanted to gauge his reaction to the news.

  He cupped his hands over his nose and mouth and closed his eyes.

  “You get all that, little brother, Sarah?”

  “We got it.”

  “Told ya the cunt was making it all up—sorry, Sarah, but there’s no other word to describe that woman.

  “Don’t be sorry, I couldn’t agree more.”

  “You okay, Lee?”

  “I am, yeah. I knew the kid wasn’t mine, but I’m glad the truth’s out there for everyone now.” Liam looked at me as he spoke.

  “Well everyone’s harking on about it, Mum and Dad know, so you can expect calls from them. Marie too probably.”

  “No worries, I’ll wait for their calls.”

  “Okay, well I’ll leave you to do more begging and getting on with asking Sarah to marry your pussy arse.”

  “Already on it, Mags, already all over that shit.”

  Liam winked at me as he spoke, I may have dissolved into a puddle and disappeared into the mattress.

  We both said goodbye and laid back down on the bed. Liam pulled me towards and then on top of him.

  “What’s going through your head, pretty girl? Don’t go quiet on me.”

  I laced my fingers together on his belly and rested my chin on them so that I could look at him.

  “I’m not sure,” I told him honestly.

  “It’s like it’s a big deal, but it’s not.”

  “I always knew she was lying.” He tucked my messy hair behind my ears. “I was more concerned that you would always wonder.”

  I shrugged with one shoulder.

  “I probably always would have.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, that’s understandable. I probably would have too if I’m being totally honest.”

  We were both silent for a while, just looking over each other’s faces.

  “That means my divorce will go straight through now. She can contest whatever she likes, but it won’t stick.”

  Even though I just got the truth regarding Olivia and Liam’s marriage, I would still be happier once they were divorced.

  “That poor baby. What horrible circumstances to be born into.”

  “They are horrible.” He traced his fingertips up and down my spine as he spoke. “But as harsh as this sounds, it’s not our concern. My only concern is us. You and me. Two thousand and seven, bub, it’s gonna be our year.”

  I know I told Sarah that I’d wait but I didn’t wait long. I couldn’t. I woke one morning to an email from my lawyer telling me that my decree absolute had been granted on the first of March. The only reason I hadn’t officially asked Sarah to be my wife was because I still had that hanging over my head. I might not be the most sensitive type of bloke, but even I knew that asking one woman to be my wife whilst still married to another was a bit of a dick move. So, I’d waited, but that email meant that I’d no longer had to.

  The previous three months had been the best of my life. Despite not formally proposing to Sarah, we’d moved ahead with purchasing the house that we’d looked at together. I’d used some of the inheritance I’d received from my grandparents as a deposit, and Sarah had insisted she use some of the insurance pay out she’d received after the death of her mother. It had been held in trust until she was twenty-one, but even on its release she hadn’t touched it.

  Both of our names were on the mortgage and the deeds. We were partners, and I was desperate to make our union permanent. We spent every weekend at the house. I’d hired a building company to do all of the structural work and plastering. Thanks to Luke’s mate Callum, we had a painter and decorator lined up. Sarah had known him for years too, so the pair of them bounced ideas off each other constantly. Her knowledge of interior design astounded me. She knew just the shade of cushion, curtain, or rug to pull together to make each room look as though we had spent a fortune on it. She would see a piece of art work and remember that we’d seen a photo frame four weeks previously, which would complement it perfectly.

  My mum and my sisters were good with the cushions and the candles and all that shit, but Sarah astounded me with her eye for detail. She’d set up a board for each room and had paint samples, fabric, carpet swatches, and pictures of furniture pinned to each one. I stayed well out of it. Her knowledge of Indonesian clay pots and lamps from Morocco far exceeded mine.

  The business had taken off exponentially in the few months we’d been up and running. With the downturn affecting industries across Europe and America, everyone was looking to Australia for work. What were tough times for many, were a boom time for us.

  Our life outside of work and redesigning our future home was mostly spent in bed, mine or hers, we didn’t much care. If we were at the flat, we didn’t even need a bed, any surface would do. Vertical, horizontal, over the arm of—we weren’t fussy. Each other, that was all we needed.

  We were taking that weekend off from renovations and driving to Suffolk so I could meet her grandparents. I felt bad it hadn’t happened sooner, every time we’d made plans to visit them, I’d had to cancel and Sarah had ended up going alone. I’d just been so busy with work and the house that some weeks I’d worked seven days straight, but that weekend Luke and I had made an executive decision to give everyone a four-
day weekend to thank them for all the hours they’d put in. Sarah had to go into work on Friday morning but after that, we were both off until Tuesday.

  Sarah had stayed over with me at the flat the night before, and I’d kept her awake until past midnight, teaching her how to give the perfect blow job. For over a month now, I’d convinced her she wasn’t very good and needed more practice, daily if necessary. I couldn’t believe she hadn’t caught on, and I knew was gonna be in trouble when she did, but until then, I’d take whatever she offered.

  I was in love. Besotted. Enamoured. Devoted. I was head over fucking heels, in, with, for this girl.

  Some nights we’d lay in the bath together in total silence. Continuously pulling out the plug and then topping up with hot water. Some nights we’d stay awake until dawn just talking and telling stories about our lives, hopes, and dreams. Other nights I’d make love to her for hours, driving both of us insane as we licked, sucked, stroked, and kissed every part of each other’s bodies. Sarah may pretty much have been a virgin when we first met, but, despite what I’d convinced her about her BJ technique, she was a fast and willing learner.

  I loved to watch her face, hear her moans, and see her eyes widen with pleasure at every new experience I’d introduced her to. Gone was the shy girl of four months ago that would try to cover herself whenever we got naked. When we were alone at the flat, we rarely wore clothes. Obviously when we were over at her place things were a bit different. Sasha had witnessed my naked arse more than once as Sarah and I tried to escape upstairs.

  But I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything except her. I was love fucked, and I didn’t care who knew. Now that my divorce was finalised, there was nothing stopping us from taking it to the next level. I wanted it all. I had her, we had the house, next was marriage and babies. I wanted at least four, Sarah not so much.

  She still had issues with her own childhood. Well, her issues were more about her parents than her childhood. She’d never met her dad, and she didn’t remember her mum. She was convinced that she’d be a bad mum because her parents weren’t exactly great examples. I thought otherwise. Sarah was a caring person by nature, and I knew she’d make a great mum. I just had to find a way of convincing her.