Howard Haskell Takes A Bride (The Brides of Paradise Ranch Book 0)

by Merry Farmer

  Howard gently extracted himself from Elizabeth and stood, laughing like a king. Elizabeth didn’t realize how stiff her joints had become from her scandalous position until she tried to move. She groaned for entirely different reasons than before.

  “This is disgusting,” Jonas railed outside the shed. “This is absolutely vile. If you expect me to sully myself and my family’s name by coming within a thousand feet of that whore, let alone marrying her, you are delusional.” His voice faded as the party headed back to the house.

  Howard—who had bent over to retrieve Elizabeth’s underthings—stood, then executed a perfect, naked, erect bow. “You are unendingly welcome, my dear.”

  Elizabeth gaped at him as she sat on the edge of the settee. She blinked. Then she burst into laughter. “Oh, Howard, you are the most remarkable man I have ever met.” She sprang up from the chaise and rushed to throw her arms around him. “I love you. I adore you. You are brilliant and marvelous.”

  He circled his arms around her, still holding her petticoat and drawers. She smacked a kiss on his lips with such ardor that even the chill air of the shed couldn’t penetrate her heat.

  “Do you think five minutes is enough to finish what we started?” She arched a brow.

  Howard’s rumbling laugh stoked her fire. “Not if we want to do it right, my angel. But I can assure you, once we are married and summarily dismissed from your parents’ house—which I am quite certain will be accomplished before the day is done—we will engage in carnal behavior forward, backward, and upside down, in a manner that would make the savages of the orient drop their jaws in shock.”

  After a comment like that, Elizabeth couldn’t stop herself from giggling all through the process of getting dressed. She had just committed an egregious sin. She had been caught in it by both of her parents. They had seen her in a compromised position, as had her former fiancé. Rumors could circulate that would destroy every shred of good reputation that she had gained over the years. Her friends could disown her, her parents could banish her forever.

  She could be free.

  Once they were dressed as tidily as they could manage in five minutes in a tool shed, they walked hand-in-hand up to the house. Trudy and Moses waited for them at the door to the library. Both wore looks of shock and awe, but Elizabeth knew the sparkle in Trudy’s eyes. She grinned proudly in return, nodding to her maid.

  Her grin vanished as soon as she and Howard stepped into the library. Her father stood arguing with Jonas by the fireplace. Her mother appeared to be coming out of another faint and was draped across one of the library’s leather chairs, her maid, Prudence, waving a bottle of smelling salts in front of her nose. Howard’s sister and his friend Cyrus and another man Elizabeth didn’t recognize stood in a cluster at the far end of the library, looking as uncomfortable as raccoons in an ice bath. When Elizabeth sent them a puzzled expression, Howard squeezed her hand and winked. Evidently, those three people—or one of them, at least—was his ace in the hole.

  “This is outrageous,” Mr. Ayers launched right into Elizabeth and Howard as soon as he saw they had arrived. “I have never been so grievously insulted in my life.”

  “I’ve called for the police.” Jonas followed on Mr. Ayers’s footsteps. “They will be here to arrest you and throw your lecherous ass in jail.”

  Elizabeth gasped. In the leather chair, her mother fainted yet again. Virginia merely sighed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head at her brother.

  “I will not marry Jonas,” Elizabeth declared. He was still there, after all. There was a chance that that part of Howard’s plan had failed.

  But no, Jonas curled his lip and looked down his nose at her before lifting his chin and turning away. “I would no sooner marry you than I would a whore from the docks. In fact, as I have told your father, I am more than certain that that’s where you will end up, seeing as you enjoy being poked by any common ruffian that you have just met.”

  He whirled to face Elizabeth and Howard, his sneer spreading to a vicious grin, as if he expected them to weep and wail at his insults. His sneer faded when all Elizabeth and Howard did was blink at the useless energy behind his hatred.

  “Will I end up at the docks, Howard?” Elizabeth asked, squeezing Howard’s hand.

  “Of course, my love,” Howard answered. “How else are we supposed to board the riverboat that will take us on to St. Louis?”

  Satisfied with his answer, Elizabeth turned back to Jonas, tilted her head, and shrugged. “So you are right, Mr. Armstrong. You will not marry me, and I will end up at the docks. Good for you.”

  Jonas grunted in revulsion, then squared his shoulders and marched out of the room. He didn’t take his leave of Mrs. Ayers—who had come to but was still pale as a ghost—nor did he say goodbye to Mr. Ayers.

  “Good riddance,” Howard huffed. He turned to Elizabeth with an adoring smile and said, “One.”

  “Now see here.” Mr. Ayers shot into action, quivering with rage as he stormed across the Persian rug to glower at Howard. “You, sir, are a filthy blackguard and a despoiler of women.”

  “I most certainly am not,” Howard barked back, pulling himself to his full height—which was inches taller than Elizabeth’s father. He relented, relaxed, and said, “I am a despoiler of woman. As God is my witness, I have never ravaged the virginity nor decimated the reputation of a single woman other than your daughter.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “Oh, my darling, that is the most romantic thing that anyone has ever said to me.”

  Mr. Ayers’s mouth flapped open and his eyes bulged. He gaped from Howard to Elizabeth and back again. “I cannot… I have never… You have no right…” He balled his hands into fists at his sides, swaying on his spot. “The police are on their way!” he snapped at last.

  “Is that wise?” Howard questioned as though asking whether going out without a scarf on a windy day was wise.

  “You, sir, have defiled my only daughter,” Mr. Ayers shouted.

  Howard glanced to Elizabeth, who shrugged. “Well, then, Papa, Howard and I will simply have to be married with all due haste.”

  Again, Mr. Ayers sputtered and blubbered before he was able to form words. “I will not have my only child married to lascivious gutter trash, blown in from God only knows where. I will not stoop so low as to allow a villainous pauper to wheedle his way into my family, my life, or my business.”

  Howard blinked in mock surprise. “Who said anything about me being a villainous pauper? Or any kind of pauper, for that matter.”

  Mr. Ayers’s eyes bulged with indignation, but he froze. He stared, unblinking, at Howard, his face red, veins popping on his temples.

  Howard took a breath and shook his head. “My dear soon-to-be father-in-law, since you seem to be in very real danger of expiring from a brain hemorrhage, let me disabuse you of any notions you may have as to my fortunes. Simply put, I’m loaded.”

  Silence crackled through the room.

  “What?” Mr. Ayers asked through clenched jaw.

  “Just that.” Howard nodded. “I am wealthy. I’m as rich as Croesus. I have cash up to my rafters. I have the Midas touch.” He pivoted to face Elizabeth. “Sorry, my dear. I will try not to turn you to a golden statue with that touch, but it is a very real possibility.”

  Elizabeth burst into giggles. Mrs. Ayers gaped from her spot on the chair. Mr. Ayers remained absolutely frozen.

  Virginia cleared her throat, and she and Cyrus stepped forward, tugging the unknown gentleman along with them.

  With a grin as wide as the western horizon, Howard said to Elizabeth, “Two.”

  Excitement bubbled up through Elizabeth’s chest so fast that she could hardly catch her breath. She hadn’t known Howard was wealthy, but she’d suspected as much from the very first. Hopes and dreams like his couldn’t be sustained on a worker’s budget.

  “Mr. Ayers, I should like to introduce you to one Mr. Osgood Peabody, my accountant and man of business,” Howard said, holding out a hand and urg
ing the unknown man to come forward.

  The man, Mr. Peabody, looked as though he would rather sink into the floor and expire, but he shuffled dutifully forward. “This will be included on my next invoice, you realize,” he muttered as he came even with Howard.

  “As will an astounding bonus for your support in this tricky time, old friend,” Howard answered.

  Mr. Peabody’s shoulders unbunched and he let out a breath, shaking his head and laughing. “My client, Mr. Haskell, is undoubtedly eccentric, Mr. Ayers.”

  Elizabeth’s father remained stiff and silent. Only his eyes moved, and only that to dart from Mr. Peabody to Howard.

  Mr. Peabody raised a wary eyebrow at Howard. Howard merely grinned. Mr. Peabody sighed, shook his head, and continued. “Mr. Haskell has been my client for nearly five years now. While he has resided in Pittsburgh for the most part, he has been a key investor in the Whitewater Canal, along with several other trade and transportation ventures.”

  Mr. Ayers flinched. At last, he moved. He gaped at Howard, eyes wide.

  “In fact,” Mr. Peabody continued, “it is my belief that without Mr. Haskell’s considerable investment, the Whitewater Canal could not have been completed. I believe you are an investor in the canal as well, Mr. Ayers?”

  “I am.” Elizabeth’s father’s voice was high and tight.

  Mr. Peabody nodded with a momentary, tight smile. “Then you owe whatever returns your investment in the canal have made to this man.”

  Mr. Ayers flushed. The light in his eyes changed from rank hatred to shrewd reassessment.

  Howard smiled the same as he ever did.

  “Furthermore,” Mr. Peabody went on, “Mr. Haskell’s own investment has seen returns to the tune of half a million dollars. His investment plan for the next ten years is comprehensive and diversified, although as I understand it, he plans to focus the bulk of his direct efforts on expansions that are being made in the West.”

  “Quite right,” Howard interrupted. “The West is the future, and I intend to carve myself a giant chunk of that future.”

  “Yes, yes.” Mr. Peabody nodded.

  Elizabeth studied her father. His rage was gone completely now, replaced by stark shock. Her mother was in a similar state. They were catching up to the supreme value of her choice for their son-in-law after all. She did her very best not to gloat, but it was next to impossible. She looped her arm through Howard’s and squeezed it tight as Mr. Peabody continued.

  “If all goes according to plan, Mr. Ayers, I expect Mr. Haskell here to be a millionaire quite a few times over before the end of the decade. If his ingenuity and keen business sense continue—and I have no reason to believe they wouldn’t—he could end up as one of the nation’s wealthiest citizens before his death.”

  “If his head doesn’t swell to the point of bursting first,” Virginia added, sotto voce.

  “Shh.” Cyrus shushed her, placing a finger on her lips. “Let the hero have his moment.”

  “Indeed.” Howard inclined his head to Elizabeth’s father with the regality of victory, with the humility of love, and with absolute, rock-solid confidence that he had won the unspoken competition between his will and that of her father’s.

  When Mr. Ayers didn’t immediately answer, Howard tucked his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers—since he wasn’t wearing a vest in light of the race—and rocked on his heels. “Does your family have a preferred man of the cloth to perform the ceremony this evening, or should I inform my friend, Rev. Sandstrom, that I will require his services after all. I’ve arranged it with him already.”

  Elizabeth snorted. “You already arranged for a minister to marry us? Tonight?”

  Howard smiled at her with all the affection of a man desperately in love. “My darling, I spoke to my friend an hour after leaving that first ball and told him to be on alert to perform the ceremony at any time.”

  “You knew that night that you would win?” Her heart fluttered.

  He turned toward her, taking both of her hands and raising them to his lips. “I knew from the moment I saw you that I would give my heart to you for the rest of my life. When love calls to you as loudly as it did the moment we met, you do not question, you do not doubt, you act. I love you, my darling, wonderful, surprising, passionate Elizabeth. I will always love you, come rain or come shine. Until I met you, I did not realize that I was missing my heart, and the moment I found it, found you, I knew we would be together.”

  “Howard.” She breathed his name as if it had been embedded in her soul from the moment she was born. “You do say the most ridiculously grandiloquent things.”

  He laughed, bending over to kiss her lips.

  Mr. Ayers cleared his throat. Howard straightened, and he and Elizabeth faced the man.

  “We will go to your Rev. Sandstrom,” he said, quiet and even. “He will marry the two of you immediately.”

  “I knew you’d see it my way.” Howard winked at him.

  Mr. Ayers’s expression hardened. “You will then leave straight away for your honeymoon, wherever that may be.”

  Elizabeth held her breath. Up until that moment, running away with Howard had seemed like a delicious lark. Now, the prospect of leaving her family, never to see them again, was terrifying.

  “You will remain on your honeymoon until all chance for scandal has passed,” her father continued. His expression softened, and he left the spot where he had been anchored to the floor to go to her. He rested a hand on the side of her face. “I do love you, my dear, even if you think I don’t.”

  “I know you do, Papa.” Elizabeth let go of Howard’s hands with a nod, turning to her father. “I know.”

  “I only want what is best for you. I’ve only ever wanted that.”

  “I should have spoken up sooner about Jonas,” she conceded.

  He shook his head. “I had my misgivings about the man from the start, but I buried them. Can you forgive me for putting my head above your heart?”

  At that moment, Elizabeth’s heart was melting. “I can, Papa, Mama,” she glanced past her father to her mother, whose maid was helping her to rise from the chair, “if you can forgive me for…” She lowered her head, a blush coming to her cheeks.

  Her father cleared his throat, back going rigid for a moment. “There are some things a father should never see.” He scowled at Howard. “But don’t think I am ignorant enough not to know your intent…son.”

  Every last bit of tension that Elizabeth held onto rushed away. She leapt into her father’s arms, hugging him for all she was worth. When her mother joined them, Elizabeth hugged her as well.

  “I am truly the happiest woman alive today,” she assured them.

  “And I give you my pledge that I will keep her that way,” Howard added with utmost seriousness. “I may be bombastic and overdone, but I am perfectly serious when I say that I love your daughter with my whole heart. I will give her the happiest life anyone has ever imagined.”

  With a weary sigh and a nod that shifted to a smile, Mr. Ayers said, “I believe you. And I give you my blessing.”

  Elizabeth skipped away from her parents and pressed herself into Howard’s arms. He folded her into a hug that filled her with joy, peace, and excitement. No matter what the future held for the two of them—and she was more than certain that it would be a future full of adventure, intrigue, and pleasure, for the two of them and for their children and their children’s children—she knew that she would be treasured. Always.

  I hope you’ve enjoyed the hair-brained story of how Howard and Elizabeth Haskell came together. Their love story is just the beginning of shenanigans and hijinks. To read more about Howard, the ranch he establishes in Wyoming (Paradise Ranch), the couples that come into his life, and the town he establishes, check out my Hot on the Trail series (Howard first appears in Trail of Destiny) and The Brides of Paradise Ranch series (beginning with His Perfect Bride, which tells the story of Howard and Elizabeth’s son Franklin’s search for love). The apples did
n’t fall far from the tree, and Howard only gets better with age.

  Click here for a complete list of other works by Merry Farmer.

  About the Author

  I hope you have enjoyed Howard Haskell Takes A Bride. If you’d like to be the first to learn about when new books by Merry Farmer come out and more, please sign up for my newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/RQ-KX And remember, Read it, Review it, Share it! For a complete list of works by Merry Farmer with links, please visit http://wp.me/P5ttjb-14F.

  Merry Farmer is an award-winning novelist who lives in suburban Philadelphia with her two cats, Butterfly and Torpedo. She has been writing since she was ten years old and realized one day that she didn't have to wait for the teacher to assign a creative writing project to write something. It was the best day of her life. She then went on to earn not one but two degrees in History so that she would always have something to write about. Her books have topped the Amazon and iBooks charts and have been named finalists in the prestigious RONE and Rom Com Reader’s Crown awards.

  Click here for a complete list of works by Merry Farmer.

  @merryfarmer20

  merryfarmerauthor

  merryfarmer.net

  merry@merryfarmer.net

  Acknowledgments

  I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my awesome beta-readers, Caroline Lee and Jolene Stewart, for their suggestions and advice. And a big, big thanks to the entire Love’s Prelude gang for support, encouragement, and just being a bunch of awesome, goofy ladies who are fun to hang out with!

  And a special thank you to the Pioneer Hearts group! Do you love Western Historical Romance? Wanna come play with us? Become a member at https://www.facebook.com/groups/pioneerhearts/

  Click here for a complete list of other works by Merry Farmer.