Comanche Moon ld-4

by Larry McMurtry

  "Are you sick, or are you so drunk you can't even talk?" Call asked, near the end of the ride.

  Augustus continued to stare off into the distance. He did not speak a ^w. In his mind's eye he saw the woman he loved--the woman he would always love--steaming up a broad brown river with Bob Allen, horse trader of Nebraska. His rival had won; that was the bleak fact. He saw no reason to chatter just to please Woodrow Call.

  Though Madame Scull was silent, she was a presence they could not ignore. When they stepped in, the Governor was busy with a secretary, so they stood where they were, hats in hand, just inside the door of the broad room. To their embarrassment Madame Scull got up and came and gave them a silent inspection, looking them over from head to foot. She was bold in her looking too, so bold that both men were made distinctly uncomfortable under her silent gaze.

  "Here they are, Inez--our two young captains," the Governor said, when the secretary left. "They brought the troop home safe and rescued three captives besides." "I'd say it's beginners' luck," Madame Scull said, in a tone that stung Gus McCrae to the quick.

  "Excuse me, ma'am, but we ain't beginners," he said. "Woodrow and me have been Texas Rangers a good ten years already." "Ten years!" Madame Scull said. "Then why haven't you learned to stand at attention properly? Your posture is a disgrace. It's a slouch, not a stance, and it doesn't bode well." "And the other one needs barbering," she added, turning to the Governor. "I'm afraid I must decline to be impressed." "But we ain't soldiers, we're rangers," Gus said, unable to restrain himself in the face of such insults.

  "Now, McCrae, you hush," the Governor said. He knew that Inez Scull was capable of high, even cyclonic furies, and he did not want a cyclone to strike his office just then.

  "This is Mrs. Scull," he added hastily.

  "She's upset that the Captain didn't come home with the troop." "Shut up, Ed," Mrs. Scull said, to the young rangers' great shock. It couldn't be proper for a woman to tell a governor to shut up, even if she was the Captain's wife.

  But the Governor immediately shut up.

  "I am not so ill bred as to be upset," Inez said. "I'm angry. Do either of you have a notion as to where my husband is?" "Somewhere along the Pecos River, I reckon, ma'am," Call said.

  "I hope he drowns in it, then, the stumpy little mongrel," Madame Scull said, turning to the Governor--Governor Pease had retreated a step or two, and looked very out of sorts.

  "He is rather a mongrel, you know, Ed," she said to the Governor.

  "I don't follow you, Inez--he's a Scull and I believe they're a fine family," Governor Pease replied.

  "Yes, but rather bred down, if you want the truth," Madame Scull said. "Inish is the only one left with any fight, and most of that comes from his mother--she was a Polish servant, I believe. Inish's father was Evanswood Scull.

  He rose rather high in Mr. Madison's government, but he would have the Polish maid. So Inish is a mongrel and that's that." "Fight's worth more than breeding when you're policing a frontier," the Governor remarked.

  "Perhaps, but I did not agree to police any frontiers," Inez replied. "I need my operas and my lapdogs and my fine shops.

  Given my shops and a little Italian singing I can get by rather well without that black mongrel of a husband." Augustus wanted to look at Woodrow, to see how he was digesting all this, but Madame Scull stood right in front of them; he didn't dare turn his eyes.

  "Did the ugly little brute give you any warning, or did he just sniff the air and walk off?" she asked. "Inish usually leaves at a moment of maximum inconvenience for everyone but himself. Did you wake up expecting him to leave, the morning he took himself away?" "No, ma'am," both said at once.

  "He just decided to go try to get his horse back," Call added.

  "Bosh ... the horse is just an excuse," Inez said. "Inish doesn't care about horses.

  Not even Hector. He'd just as soon eat one as ride one." "But Inez, what other reason would he have to walk off like that?" the puzzled Governor asked, still nervous about the possible cyclone.

  "I don't know and neither do these slouchy boys," Madame Scull said.

  "We tried to talk him out of walking but he wouldn't listen," Call informed her.

  "He was the captain--there wasn't much we could do," Augustus said.

  "No, he's a damn restless mongrel--he wanted to walk off and he did walk off, leaving everybody, including me," Madame Scull said. "It's abominable behaviour, I say." "Ma'am, he left with Famous Shoes, who's a fine tracker," Call pointed out.

  "Famous Shoes knows the country. I expect he'll bring the Captain out." "You don't know the man," Inez snapped.

  "He won't show up unless he's fetched. I expect he'll find his way to the sea, and the next thing I know there'll be a telegram from India, or somewhere, expecting me to pack up and follow.

  I won't have it, not this time!" There was silence in the room. Madame Scull's last statement left everyone in doubt.

  Did she intend to go after the Captain herself? Her black eyes were so filled with anger that when she looked at Augustus he felt like stepping back a step or two, yet she was so forceful that he was afraid to move a muscle, and Woodrow was just as paralyzed. Governor Pease stared out the window, uncomfortable and silent.

  "Will you fetch him for me, gentlemen?" she asked, softening her voice even as she raked them with her eyes. "If we don't catch him soon I might have to wait a year for news, and I won't tolerate it!" "Of course you have my permission," the Governor quickly added. "I'd recommend taking a small force, perhaps four men besides yourselves." "The sooner you get started, the better," Inez said.

  In Gus's mind was the coming torment of Clara's wedding--he saw Madame Scull's request as a God-sent, hope of escape.

  "I'm ready, I can leave in an hour," Augustus said. "Or less, if it's required." Call was very startled by his friend's wild statement. They had scarcely been back a day from a long expedition. The men were tired and the horses gaunt. [ they to set off without rest to find a man who might refuse to come back even if they found him, which was by no means a certain thing?

  Before he could speak Mrs. Scull suddenly smiled at Augustus.

  "Why, Mr. McCrae, such impetuosity," she said. "I wouldn't think of having you depart quite that soon. No doubt you have arrangements to make --a sweetheart to say goodbye to, perhaps?" "I ain't got a sweetheart and I'm ready to leave as soon as I can clean my guns and catch my horse," Gus said. He didn't think he could endure being in Austin much more than another hour--not with the triumphant Bob Allen taking up all Clara's time, as he would for the rest of her life. If the boys couldn't leave at once, then he meant to leave anyway and camp somewhere along the route, with a bottle of whiskey to keep him company.

  Call was astonished, but Gus's peculiar desire to depart at once wasn't the only thing that concerned him.

  "What if we find him and he won't come back?" he asked.

  "Oh, I'm sure if you tell him Inez is anxious he'll be happy to come back with you," the Governor said. His own main desire was get Inez Scull out of his office before she broke into a fit.

  "Inish hates to be checked, particularly when he's running away from his duties," Inez said.

  "They may have to arrest him." "Just find him and ask him politely to come back," Governor Pease said, remembering that Inish Scull himself was no slouch when it came to throwing fits. Besides, he was a popular hero, and not loath to act the part. Putting such a popular man under arrest might lead to political catastrophe--he might even lose the governorship, if Inish stood against him. It was too much to risk.

  "Ask him politely--what good will that do?" Mrs. Madame Scull said. "Inish ain't polite." "What'll we do then, ma'am, if we find him and he won't come back?" Call inquired.

  "How should I know? I ain't a great Texas Ranger, I'm just a wife," she said. "But don't come back without him--I won't have it!

  Come along, Mr. McCrae." She started for the door. Augustus wasn't sure he had heard correctly.

  "Do what, ma'
am?" he asked.

  "Come along--are you deaf?" Madame Scull said, turning briefly. "I'd like you to walk me home, if you ain't too busy saying goodbye to your sweethearts." "Ma'am, I just told you, I got no sweethearts to say goodbye to," Gus repeated.

  "Capital!" Madame Scull said. "In that case I may ask you to stay for tea. Being abandoned by one's husband does make one so lonely." Then she looked over at Call, with a little smile.

  "I would ask you too, Captain Call," she said, "but I expect you're more of a ladies' man than Captain McCrae. I imagine you do have sweethearts who will expect you soon." "Oh no, ma'am--Captain McCrae's the ladies' man," Call said, though Gus glared at him. "I guess I better go see which of the boys is in the mood to ride out again on short notice." "I think I'd locate a barber first, sir, and let him clean you up a little," Mrs. Scull said. "I believe you'd be rather handsome if you were barbered properly." "Thank you," Call said. "I intended to get barbered before I came to see the Governor." "Then why didn't you, sir?" Inez asked.

  "You'd have made a far better impression if you'd gone to that little bit of trouble." No wonder the Captain walked off, Call thought. He was not about to tell Madame Scull what he'd done instead of getting barbered and he resented that she had been so impertinent as to ask.

  "Where do you think he went, Ed?" Madame Scull asked the Governor, her eyes fixed on Call, even though Augustus had gone to the door and was holding it open.

  "Went? I don't know where he went," the Governor said impatiently. "I've just met Captain Call and am not familiar with his habits." "I expect he went to a whore," Inez said, with a little laugh. "He looks like the kind of man who would put whoring before barbering. Don't you agree, Governor?" Governor Pease had had enough--the woman would stay forever, it seemed; and he .was the governor.

  "Any man would put whoring before barbering, Inez," he replied. "It would be the normal thing." "That's it! I knew you had starch, Ed Pease," Madame Scull said. "I expect I ought to ask you to my tea party instead of this green ear of corn here, but then you're the governor.

  You've got duties." "I've got duties," Governor Pease agreed, as Madame Scull swept out the door.

  Call glanced at Augustus, puzzled as to why he would twice say he had no sweetheart to say goodbye to, when Call himself had just seen him holding hands with Clara, outside the general store.

  Gus, though, avoided his eye.

  "I'll see you at the stables, Woodrow," he said, as he followed Inez Scull out the door.

  "It's like eating green persimmons," the Governor remarked darkly, once the door was safely closed.

  "What, sir?" Call asked.

  "Uncharitable talk, Captain," Governor Pease said, with a sign and a smile. "Every time I talk to Inez I come away feeling like I've eaten a green persimmon--y know how they make your mouth shrink up?" "I wouldn't know, I avoid green fruit!" Call said.

  "I've got to send you out, Captain--I gave Inez my promise," the Governor said.

  "But it's up to you what to say to Inish, if you catch up with him." "I might just tell him to keep on walking," Call said.

  "That's right--let him wander," Governor Pease replied. "Why come back just to be et alive by your wife? If you've got to be et alive, let some cannibal Indian do it." The more the Governor thought about Inez Scull, the more worked up he became.

  "Damn rich women anyway," he said.

  "Particularly rich women from Birmingham, Alabama." He looked out the window for a bit, gloomily.

  "Inez Scull would try the patience of a saint, Captain," he said--and then he paced the room for a few minutes, evidently unable to leave the subject of Inez Scull alone.

  "Not just a saint. Jobffwas he exclaimed.

  "Inez would even try the patience of Jobffwas "I don't know Job, but she sure tried mine," Call said.

  As they walked up the steps of the Scull mansion Augustus began to feel timid and uneasy. Madame Scull had marched along, nearly half a mile, from the Governor's office to the slope where the castle stood, without saying a ^w to him. She had talked constantly while at the Governor's, but now she was mute as a jug.

  Earlier in the day, in his vexation over Clara, Gus had kicked a large rock and broken his boot heel. He had been meaning to get it repaired when Woodrow showed up and stuck him in the Governor's buggy.

  Now, as he was trying to keep up with the fast-striding Madame Scull, the wobbly boot heel broke off, which caused him to have to walk a little lopsided. His awkward, tilted stride seemed to amuse Madame Scull.

  "I believe I embarrassed your friend by accusing him of being a whorer--wd you say I did?" she asked.

  "Yes, but it don't take much to embarrass Woodrow Call," he said. "He's still stiff as a poker when it comes to women." "Stiff as a poker--d you mean that anatomically, sir?" Madame Scull asked, with a little laugh.

  An old man with a rag was polishing the big brass knocker on the mansion's front door.

  The old man looked drunk, but he straightened up promptly when he saw Madame Scull.

  "Hello, Ben, this is Captain McCrae, he's going to find Captain Scull and fetch him home," she said. "We'll be having tea in an hour--tell Felice we might appreciate a biscuit as well." Augustus thought that was odd. Why would it take an hour to make tea? Once in the door, though, he forgot about it; he had never supposed he would be in such a grand establishment--everything in the house excited his curiosity. Just inside the door was a great hollowed-out foot of some kind that held umbrellas and parasols and canes and walking sticks.

  "I sure wouldn't want to get stomped by a foot this big," he said.

  "No, you wouldn't ... it's an elephant's foot," Madame Scull said. "That tusk over the mantel came from the same beast." Sure enough, a gleaming ivory tusk, a little yellowish and taller than a man, was mounted over the mantel. The whole house was full of curious objects and gadgets that he would have liked to look at, but Madame Scull gave him only a moment. In the next room a lovely yellow girl was polishing a long dining table with a cloth.

  He smiled at the girl but she didn't acknowledge his smile.

  "Don't bring the tea into the bedroom, Felice, just leave it outside my door," Inez said. "And don't rush us, please.

  Captain McCrae and I have some serious matters to discuss. Do you take jam with your biscuits, Mr. McCrae?" "Why, yes, I'd approve a little jam, if it's no trouble," he said.

  "Why would it be trouble?" Madame Scull said. "Let us have a few dollops of jam, Felice." "Yes, ma'am," the girl said.

  Augustus wondered what it would be like to work with a blunt woman such as Madame Scull, but he was allowed no time to do more than nod at the girl.

  Madame Scull was ascending the long staircase and she seemed to expect him to follow.

  On the second floor there was a long hall with high windows at both ends. A yellow bench stood against one wall. Gus was doing his best to hobble down the hall in his awkward boots when Madame Scull pointed at the bench and ordered him to sit.

  "I've had enough of your hobbling, Captain, or may I call you Gus?" she asked.

  ""Gus"' will do, ma'am," he said, taking the seat she pointed to.

  "Let's get those boots off--I can't stand a hobbler," Madame Scull said.

  "I can take 'em off, ma'am, but it won't be quick," he said, a little surprised. "They're tight as gloves." "I'll help you, Gus ... stick out your leg," the lady said.

  "What, ma'am?" he asked, confused.

  "Stick out your leg, sir," Inez demanded; when he obeyed she turned her back to him, straddled his leg, and took his boot in both hands.

  "Now push," she demanded. "Push with your other foot." Augustus did nothing of the sort; he was intensely embarrassed. Of course the rangers often helped one another off with recalcitrant boots by using that method--witha little pushing on the helpful ranger's backside, the boot would usually come off.

  But Madame Scull wasn't a helpful ranger--she was the wife of Captain Scull.

  Besides, she was a female and a lady: he couldn't stick up
a dusty boot and push on her backside.

  "Ma'am, I can't, I'd be embarrassed," he said.

  Inez Scull showed no inclination to relinquish the foot she held between her legs. Her black skirt was bunched up around Gus's ankle.

  Gus was so embarrassed he was blushing, but Inez Scull had her back to him and didn't see the blush.

  "Push with your other foot and push now!" she demanded. "I'm damned if I'll tolerate any guff from you, Gus. I've helped Inish off with his boots a thousand times in this way. He says I'm better than a bootjack and I expect I am--s push!" Gus wiped his foot a few times on the floor and gingerly set it against Madame Scull's backside. He pushed as commanded, but not very hard, as Madame Scull tugged.