“We’ll talk it through tomorrow, but in general the idea is to start a funeral home collective.”
“A collective?”
He nodded. “I got the idea from that guy who came and talked to us about BCN. The gist of it is that we start a funeral home collective in much the same way that BCN is starting a church collective.”
Dawn smiled. “That’s pretty intriguing.”
“I’m glad you think so. We have a lot to think about and we’re going to need all of our heads to accomplish it.”
“Even mine?”
His lips turning in a dour line, Sly said, “Even yours.”
She laughed. “You don’t have to sound so excited about it, Sly. I promise not to bankrupt us.”
He laughed with her. “It’s not that. It’s just that this way of working together will be different for us.”
“But it could be good for us.” Dawn eased off the bed, though she was feeling very comfortable where she was. “I’d better get back to my room and start getting ready. I’d like to fix a nice breakfast to start the day.”
“You’re a good sister, Dawn.”
“I try.” She felt awkward with his praise. “So you’re going to sit with us at church?”
“I’ll stick like glue,” he said. “That I can promise. I’ll have to leave after the service for the funeral, but I’ll get back to the picnic as soon as I can.”
Dawn left the room without responding, but her heart smiled.
~ ~ ~
As she sat in a padded pew in the middle section of sanctuary at Faith Central, Francine felt surrounded by love. Dawn and Sly sat on either side of her. Sly held one hand and Dawn’s hand covered the other. Mother Harris, Stuart, Dolores, and Monika sat behind them. Mother Harris, Dawn, and Sly knew her plans for the morning, but Francine wasn’t sure if Stuart, Dolores, and Monika did. Her fellow parishioners had greeted her warmly for the most part, though she did feel the coldness emanating from a few. From George, she’d gotten the expected hostility. LaDonna, by his side, had given her a weak smile. She hadn’t seen Mrs. Roberts.
She turned her attention to Sister Mabeline, the church secretary, famous for her big hats. Today’s looked like a fruit bowl. After announcing the upcoming activities for the week, she took a moment to welcome the visitors. Instead of following with the standard offering and sharing time, Rev. Thomas took to the pulpit. “Morning, church,” he called to them. He must have found the answering “Morning, church” weak, because he offered his greeting again. “That’s more like it,” he said when he received a more enthusiastic response. “I was wondering if y’all had gone to sleep already. Most of you at least wait until I start preaching to fall asleep.”
The church broke up with laughter at the comment. A lot of things might happen at Faith Central, Francine knew, but falling asleep during service was not one of them. Rev. Thomas was a commanding and charismatic speaker. People did not fall asleep on him. He was like E. F. Hutton: When he spoke, people listened.
“We’re going to change the program a bit this morning, church,” Rev. Thomas said. “I hope y’all will be able to deal with that. I know some of you like everything done decently and in order.”
Again, the church laughed.
“I’d better be clear here,” Rev. Thomas explained. “We’re going to go on decently and in order, we’re just not going to follow the standard program. Can I get an ‘Amen’ somewhere?”
A chorus of Amen’s came from the congregation.
“The Holy Ghost’s in charge this morning, the way He is every morning. This morning, the Holy Ghost has a special treat for you. I know it’s going to be a special treat for you because it was a special treat for me when He let me in on it. This morning we’re going to see and hear the gospel in action, and we’re going to have an opportunity to act on what we know to be true about God and true about ourselves as children of God. For those of you who don’t know it yet, Sister Francine Amen is back among us today. She’s been gone for five years, if you can believe that, and, I’ll tell you the truth, Faith Central has missed her.”
“Amen,” Mother Harris said from behind Francine.
Dawn’s hand tightened on Francine’s arm and she smiled up at her sister. Francine felt her throat clog with emotion. She had expected time on the program; she hadn’t expected such an outpouring of welcome-back love.
“I know some of y’all remember some rocky times before Francine left,” Rev. Thomas continued. “But I’m here to tell you this morning that the Lord can make the rocky smooth and He’s done that with Sister Francine. Why don’t you come on down here, Sister Francine?”
Dawn squeezed Francine’s hand again and whispered, “I love you, sis, and I’m proud of what you’re about to do.”
Francine accepted her sister’s encouragement with a smile. Then she stood and made her way down the center aisle. The walk to the front of the church seemed much longer than it was. Rev. Thomas, his royal-purple pastoral robe flowing behind him, came down from the pulpit to meet her in front of the altar. He hugged her. Then he stepped back and turned her to face the congregation, handing her his microphone. When she turned, microphone in hand, she saw that Mother Harris and Stuart had followed her down front. They were now seated in the front row. She eagerly took the courage and support they offered. She needed it, because George, LaDonna, and four of the people sitting in the pew with them got up from their seats and left the sanctuary.
Francine took a deep breath, and then she said, “I don’t know where to begin.”
“Let the Lord lead,” a supportive voice she couldn’t recognize called from the back of the church.
She chuckled. “I guess that’s as good a place as any.” She glanced at Rev. Thomas. “Thank you for everything. You’ve been a real pastor to me. I’m sorry I had to experience a fake one to appreciate how good you really are.” She turned back to the congregation. “When I talked to Pastor about having a chance to speak to you this morning, I thought what I had to do was apologize to you for the hurtful and judgmental things I said before I left. For those of you who don’t remember, or who weren’t here then, five years ago I walked away from the church that had been my home for all of my life to follow an evangelist who’d come to town claiming revival. While revival is good—”
“Amen, sister,” echoed across the sanctuary.
“While revival is good, the message of this group was not the message of the gospel as we know it. According to this group, they were the only ones saved. Their goal was to convert everybody in the churches to the real Christianity. Unfortunately, I was suckered in by their half-truths, and suckered in really well. So well, in fact, that I began to preach their message to many of you. I even stood right here and told you all that what you had in Jesus wasn’t real.” A chill rolled over her shoulders at the memory. “It’s still difficult for me to believe that I could be so far gone. But I was. Anyway when I talked to Pastor, I thought what I needed to do was apologize to everybody for the things I’d said and the harm I’d caused. But this morning when I was reading my Bible, I realized that I needed to do something else. I needed to do more than apologize, I needed to follow the instructions of First John and confess my sins and ask you to pray for me.”
A chorus of Amens answered her.
“I say sins because they are many, but this morning I want to focus on two. First, I need to confess the lack of faith that allowed me to be deceived by people who were not of God. I have no excuse other than I took my eyes off the Lord and put them on man. I admit that it was a trying time for me. My grandparents had recently died and I was trying to understand why the Lord would take them both so close to each other. My guard was down and the enemy was able to plant seeds of doubt which men who were not of God were able to exploit. Second, I need to confess the pride that caused me to stand before you and proclaim your damnation. Even if what the false teachers said had been true, I was not delivering the message from a position of love but from a position of superiority. That’s pride,
a sin, and I have to confess it.”
“Preach it, sister,” somebody shouted.
“Amen, girl,” others chimed in.
“I stand before you now both humbled and exalted, humbled to know how important it is to walk with Jesus on a minute-by-minute basis and exalted to know that as long as we want to walk with Him, He’ll walk with us. I’m humbled by His love and exalted by it at the same time. We serve a good God.”
“Tell it, sister,” a voice chanted.
“Amen, somebody,” another said.
“The Lord has taught me something very important out of all of this, and this is where the apology comes in. I see so clearly that we are truly the body of Christ. I look around the sanctuary right now and I can see in some of your faces how the decisions I made five years ago affected you then, and still affect you today. A life has been lost, relationships have been strained, some seemingly beyond repair. Hearts have been saddened in some cases, broken in others. All because of a decision I made. So what I learned is that I am not alone. As long as I claim to be a Christian, my decisions affect you, my brothers and sisters. I ask your forgiveness for those decisions and their effects and I ask you to pray that the Lord will show me how to make amends. Thank you for giving me this time.”
She turned to give Pastor Thomas back the microphone so she could go back to her seat, but he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. “What we have seen here this morning, church, is the body of Christ in action. Sister Francine has preached the morning’s message in her words. She’s come before you and confessed her sins and asked you to pray for her. Well, I’m going to go one better than that, the Holy Ghost wants to go one better than that.”
With his arm still around Francine’s shoulders, he moved to the center aisle. “Sister Francine is not the only one here this morning who needs to confess. Some of you need to join her. Most of you need to join her. You’ve been holding stuff in too long. You’ve been dealing with things privately because your pride hasn’t wanted others to know of your struggle. Well, this morning, church, the Lord is saying that pride is a sin that you’ve added to the sin you’re trying to keep hidden, and He’s saying that the Christian life is not lived that way.”
He dropped his arms from Francine’s shoulders. “I want my ministerial staff to come down now!” When Francine would have moved back to her seat, he stopped her. “You stay where you are.” He turned back to the congregation. “Some of your hearts were touched as Sister Francine spoke, and you know who I’m talking about. Some of you didn’t want to hear what Sister Francine said, so the Lord had me say it again so you’d be without excuse. You too know who I’m talking about. Well, right now, we’re going to have prayer time at Faith Central. If the Lord has been speaking to you this morning about unconfessed sin and pride, then you need to make your way down to the altar so you can join us in prayer. Come on down here right now.”
People began moving out of their seats and making it to the altar. “God is good,” Rev. Thomas said. “Maybe you haven’t followed false teachers the way Sister Francine did. Maybe your sin is much simpler. Maybe it’s the ungodly attitude you show to others. Maybe it’s unforgiveness you’re holding in your heart. Maybe it’s the way you’re treating your spouse. Whatever it is, you know and the Lord knows. We’re going to deal with it this morning so we can put it away. Shame is a hold that sin uses on you. As long as you’re ashamed of the sin, it has a hold on you. When you can name it, and walk away from it, you’re walking in the power of God. That’s what the Lord wants from His people. Sin and shame have no place in the life of a man or woman of God.”
~ ~ ~
Dawn followed Sylvester down the aisle to the altar. Maintaining their positions of support, they each stood next to Francine. Mother Harris stood in front of her and Stuart behind her. Dawn wrapped an arm around her sister’s waist and hugged her. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered.
Rev. Thomas moved back to the pulpit. He looked across the congregation, across the faces crowded at the altar. “There’s still room at the altar,” he said. “Today is not the day to be shy. As you make your public confession this morning, the Lord will release you from the guilt and the shame.”
Dolores, still in her seat next to Monika, wanted to go down, but she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. What would Monika think? She wanted her daughter’s respect; she didn’t want her thinking her mother had some secret sin. But Dolores felt in her heart that Pastor was talking to her. She carried a lot of guilt and shame for her relationship with Teddy, guilt and shame compounded by his refusal to acknowledge his daughter. She squeezed her daughter’s hand. When Monika looked up at her, she said, “I love you, Moni.”
Monika saw the tears in her mother’s eyes and her heart responded to them. She hated for her mother to be sad and it hurt to think that she was responsible. She knew her mother was worried about her and she knew that was why she had come to Faith Central this morning instead of the church she regularly attended, Grace Cathedral. Despite the anger that Monika felt toward her mother because she wouldn’t tell her about her father, she didn’t like to see her cry. “I love you too, Momma,” she said.
One last call for the altar,” Rev. Thomas said. “Today is your day. I know some of you are wondering what people will think your sin is. Well, if you’re thinking that, then you should be down at the altar because guilt and shame have you bound. The very sin that has you bound is keeping you from your release. You can do it. Get to your feet and come on down. That’s good,” he said as others made their way to the altar. “There’s room. You can still come.
“You know, we serve a good God and this morning He wants to release you and bless you with freedom. There are still some of you who need to make a public confession but you haven’t come to the altar. The Lord is so good that He’s going to meet you where you are. I want all of the rest of you to stand to your feet at your seat. You’re not publicly acknowledging sin, unless you need to, so you don’t have to worry about what people are thinking. Just stand to your feet and agree with us in prayer. If you are acknowledging sin, you need to confess it to someone you trust in the Lord before the day is over.”
Chapter 15
Francine studied her face in Mother Harris’s bathroom mirror and blotted her eyes one last time. She’d done what she’d set out to do at the morning service, but her heart ached that George, LaDonna, and their friends hadn’t stayed to hear what she had to say. She prayed that one day they’d give her a chance. All that aside, she was grateful for the warm and loving response she’d gotten from many of the members of Faith Central, including the ones attending this surprise picnic that Mother Harris was giving in her honor. “Thank you, Lord,” she said, opening the bathroom door.
“You may have fooled them, but you haven’t fooled me.”
Francine turned at the sound of the angry words. She’d counted her blessings too soon. “Hello, George,” she said, a prayer for wisdom going to God at the same time.
“You’re not going to get away with what you did to my sister,” he said.
“What do you want from me, George?” she asked. “I can’t bring Toni back. I can’t undo the past. So tell me, what do you want me to do? Just what do you want from me?”
The widening of his brown eyes told her that her question caught him by surprise. “I want you to suffer,” he said finally. “I want you to feel as alone as my sister felt. She never should have gone with you. I never should have let her.”
George’s words made Francine remember what LaDonna had said about his guilt over Toni’s death, and she knew her friend had been correct. “It’s not your fault, George,” she offered.
“Don’t try to turn this on me,” he said, rebuffing her concern. “I know it’s not my fault. It’s your fault and you’re going to pay. You can take that to the bank.”
On those cryptic words, George turned on his heels and exited Mother Harris’s home, going away from the party sounds, not toward
them. Francine breathed a deep sigh. “Thank you, Lord.”
“Hey, Francie,” Victor McCoy called to her as she reached the patio door to join the others outside. She’d known Victor since childhood, having grown up with him at Faith Central. He was the perfect antidote to George.
“Hi, Victor,” she said. “When did you get here? I didn’t see you.”
“I just rolled up,” he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Can’t stay long. Just wanted to drop in and let you know how much I appreciated what you said in church this morning, and to get a bit of Mother Harris’s famous fried chicken.”
Francine chuckled at the reference to the chicken, finding that much easier to address than his other words. “Her chicken is the best.”
Victor rubbed his stomach. “You’re preaching to the choir, girlfriend.” He took her hand. “Come on and walk out with me. I have to get to work, so I can’t stay long.”
Francine allowed Victor to lead her outside. He went directly to the table with the meats—chicken, hamburger, hot dogs, sausage, and ribs. He dropped her hand and picked up a paper plate. “I meant what I said. I do appreciate what you said this morning. It gave me a lot to think about, to pray about.”
Francine nodded. “I’m glad it was helpful.”
“You’d better watch this guy, Francine,” a familiar voice said from behind her.
“I can tell by the small amount of dark meat still left here that you’ve already made your chicken run, Stuart,” Victor said, “so you have nothing to say.”
Stuart chuckled. “Francine, this guy has a bad reputation for taking all of Mother Harris’s fried chicken. Word is he takes enough to hold him over until the next time she cooks it. What do you do, man, freeze it?”
Victor waved Stuart off as he kept loading up his plate. Francine grinned at Stuart and they both watched Victor complete his task and wrap his plate with the foil Mother Harris provided for leftovers. When Victor finished, he looked at Francine. “We’ll have to get together,” he said. “You’re staying at your sister’s, right?” When she nodded, he said, “I’ll give you a call.” He leaned in and bussed her cheek again. “I gotta run now though and you know I gotta see Mother Harris before I do or she’ll kill me.”
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