Bluegrass Bend

by Mandy Magro

  ‘You’re a fucking liar, Ronny Sinclair – or should I say, Byron McWilliams?’ She tore past him and began gathering her clothes from the lounge room floor. She rammed one foot and then the other into her knickers, and yanked them up.

  Ronny followed and stood staring at her.

  ‘Please, Ivy, let me explain,’ he said, and she had to refrain from slapping him across the face.

  With her clothes now bundled in her arm she grabbed her bag from the bench and her guitar case from the floor, and then stormed to the back door on wobbly legs. Ronny reached out for her but she dodged him. ‘Don’t you dare touch me. I don’t even know who you are. And why in the hell does Amy feel she has an open invitation to arrive at your doorstep at this time of the night?’ She didn’t wait for an answer as she fled the house.

  Ronny ran after her. ‘Please, Ivy, wait. I can explain everything. Please don’t leave it like this.’

  She spun to face him, her eyes narrowed. ‘If there’s one thing I hate in this world, Ronny, or Byron, or whoever the fuck you are, it’s a liar, and you are the biggest fucking liar I’ve ever met.’

  She ran down the back steps and into the soothing darkness of night. In less than a minute she was in her ute and revving it to life. Gravel flew out from the tyres as she skidded out the driveway. Glancing in her rear-view mirror, she spotted Ronny standing on the verandah, his head in his hands, and her entire world shattered into a million tiny pieces.

  CHAPTER

  19

  By sunrise the following morning, Ivy’s bed sheets were in a knot and, aside from a few fitful bouts of dozing filled with horrible dreams, she hadn’t slept a wink. On her bedside table her phone vibrated for the umpteenth time – the caller ID one she didn’t want to answer. Ever. When was Ronny going to take the hint? Beneath the jumbled sheets, her sweaty hands were clasping each other as though she was trying to reassure herself, and her head felt like a cyclone had blown through it. She needed to talk to her aunts – rolling everything around in her mind wasn’t doing her one bit of good – but they’d gone to visit some friends last night and wouldn’t be back until later this morning. No way was she going to talk about this over the phone – this was a conversation that had to be face to face. She knew May and Alice were going to be as shaken as she was, and she didn’t want them driving home in a fluster, it would be too dangerous.

  Throwing her pillow over her head, she groaned, wishing she could knock herself out so she could at least stop thinking about Ronny Sinclair or whoever he really was. Ivy’s world had caved in on her last night and she hadn’t stopped to think about the fact he was the man who’d saved her from death until she was speeding down the highway towards home. She hadn’t been about to turn around and go thank him – she’d already done that with a letter, which he’d chosen to ignore. And even though she’d tried to understand Byron McWilliams’ silence over the years, giving him the benefit of the doubt, knowing he had ignored her heartfelt letter of thanks hurt beyond words. How could Ronny have made love to her so passionately, making her feel like the luckiest woman on earth, even as he was deceiving her on such a deep level? He’d definitely crossed a line that he never should have until he’d told her who he was. Damn him – he should have respected her enough to give her the truth and let her decide what she wanted after that. But he’d stolen that from her.

  At least now she understood why she’d felt as though she already knew him from somewhere, and why she felt so safe within his arms – she owed her life to him. She just wished he’d told her everything from the start, because although she would have been shocked and needed some time to come to terms with who he was, she would have also respected him for his honesty. In the long run, his honesty would have only strengthened their relationship.

  Rolling on her side, Ivy hugged her pillow to her. The pain of her broken heart made it hard for her to take a breath as sobs began to wrack her body once more. She let the heavy, endless tears fall, unable to deny how deeply her feelings for Ronny ran. But he’d broken her cardinal rule. And in the process he had broken her trust, and her heart. And as far as she was concerned, he’d lie to her again – a leopard never changed its spots.

  ***

  As daybreak peeked over the mountaintops, sending a scattering of beautiful hues across the cloud-strewn sky, Ronny boiled the kettle for the fourth time. Normally another day dawning at Sundown Farm would bring joy to his heart, but today he couldn’t even muster a smile. He hadn’t had one second of sleep, spending the entire night either tossing and turning in bed or pacing the darkened rooms of the house. Now standing at the sink in his boxers with his arms folded across his aching heart, he gazed distractedly towards where the glowing rays of the rising sun reached down and kissed the landscape to life. Those rays should have brought warmth to his new day but they only solidified the harsh reality of his loss – Ivy, the love of his life. It was all he could do not to break down right now.

  It was now ten hours since she had stormed out and he still hadn’t been able to speak to her, and not for lack of trying. As time slipped away, so did his hope that they would ever work this out. Exhaling forcefully, he glanced at his mobile phone for the hundredth time. There were no missed calls, no texts, nothing from her. He’d never wanted a phone to ring so much in his life. He’d rung her several times, and left countless messages, but cold hard silence was all he’d received … and it was killing him. Yes, he’d made love to her without first telling the truth about who he was, but he’d been ready to, especially after speaking with Faith. He’d been on the verge of confessing and leaving the ultimate decision to Ivy, when Amy had intruded. Now he might never know if Ivy could accept him for who he was and love him regardless. How sweet his life, and hers, could have been. He would have loved her like she’d never been loved, like she deserved to be loved, every single day, until he took his final breath. He would have lived to make Ivy’s every waking day the happiest it could be. But then the night had taken a different turn, and he’d allowed things to get out of hand.

  Smacking his palm down on the sink, Ronny shook his head. If only he’d been honest with Ivy right from the start, back at the bank, how would things have turned out? He understood Lottie had done all she could to keep his true identity hidden, and he was also keen on the idea of a clean slate to establish his life on, but crossing paths with Ivy had changed all of that – and she was well worth the risk of Bluegrass Bend finding out his dark secret. Now he would regret his mistake for the rest of his lonely life. And he would most certainly be lonely, because if he couldn’t have Ivy, he didn’t want anyone. If only Amy hadn’t turned up on his doorstep, he would have gotten the chance to break the news to Ivy himself. He was going to tell her everything. Slamming his hands down on the sink once more, he choked back his emotions. What the fuck was he meant to do now?

  Already wired with caffeine, he busied himself heaping a teaspoon of Nescafe and two teaspoons of sugar into his mug before stirring it and taking a sip. He hated black coffee, but he couldn’t be bothered grabbing the milk. And he knew he should eat something to help soak up the coffee, but he wasn’t hungry. A quick glance at the digital clock on the oven only confirmed how time was ticking away; just over an hour and Larry and Shirley would come to help him spread Lottie’s ashes. The thought of doing that made his already heavy heart sink even lower. Having to say his final goodbye to one woman he loved with all his heart was bad enough, but two in the same day was beyond unbearable.

  Grabbing his mobile from the bench he dialled Ivy’s number again, and after five rings it went to message bank – again. In frustration he tossed the phone across the room, the shatterproof case saving it from smashing to bits as it rebounded off the wall and then hit the floor. Fuck it, he’d leave the bastard of a thing there. She wasn’t going to call him back anyway. And he couldn’t blame her – he was officially an arsehole and deserved everything he was getting.

  Taking another sip from his bitter coffee as he stared vacantly o
ut the kitchen window, he went over the horrid details of the previous night once more. A muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of his right eye as his mouth formed a rigid grimace. The vehemence in Ivy’s eyes as she’d called him a liar had torn him to shreds. She might as well have grabbed a knife and plunged it deep into his chest. It was as though she couldn’t even bear to look at him – and he couldn’t blame her. He was having a hard time looking in the mirror himself, completely ashamed of what he’d done. What a dickhead he was, thinking that hiding the truth from her all this time had been the right way to go. As much as he wanted to believe he’d been protecting her from her past, looking back on it now, he saw he’d failed miserably; all he’d achieved was hurting her, deeply, and that was the last thing in the world he’d ever want to do. What a fucking mess.

  With his arms folded tightly across his chest he finally made a decision. Wandering about aimlessly while worrying himself sick wasn’t getting him anywhere – he needed to take action. Although nervous of what might happen next, doing something was going to be way easier than standing still. The day ahead would either see the dawn of his new life or snap his dreams in two – because, come hell or high water, he was going to find a way to talk to Ivy. He needed to at least explain to her that he’d invited her to dinner to reveal everything – but was she going to believe him now? Though the chances were slim, it was worth a try. He would fight for her until there was not an ounce of hope left. If she wasn’t going to answer his calls, he’d just have to drive over there. But first, he’d pay his respects to Lottie – it was time she was finally laid to rest with her dearly loved Frank.

  ***

  The sound of a car coming up the driveway sent Ivy clambering from the couch. Tissues tumbled from her and scattered over the floor as she pulled on her ugg boots. It wasn’t an overly cool day, but the iciness inside of her made her want to rug up. Her aunts were going to know something drastic was wrong the minute they laid eyes on her, because it was close to lunchtime, and she was still in her PJs with crazy bed hair, as well as sporting puffy eyes and cheeks from all the crying. She was officially a mess. If she could, she’d crawl under the comfort of her doona and stay there for a week. Tugging open the front door, she raced down the front steps and to her aunts, with Bo beside her. Her boy hadn’t left her side since she’d arrived home last night.

  Without a word, Alice hugged Ivy to her, and Ivy broke down sobbing.

  ‘Sweetheart, what’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s a long story, but the short of it is …’ Ivy turned her face to her aunt, lips quivering. ‘Ronny Sinclair is not Ronny Sinclair at all.’

  May had joined them now, arms full of shopping bags. ‘What do you mean Ronny isn’t Ronny?’

  Alice wiped the tears from Ivy’s cheeks. ‘I think I know exactly what you’re saying.’ She cupped her face. ‘Ronny is actually Byron, the man who saved you that night, isn’t he?’

  May gasped, the shopping bags tumbling from her arms. She stood frozen to the spot, her mouth hanging open but no words passing her lips.

  Ivy found herself holding her breath. ‘How do you know?’ She stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Did he tell you?’

  ‘No, sweetheart, of course he didn’t tell me, I just had a feeling. He said something very odd a little while back, the first day he came to work here, that made me start wondering.’

  Ivy covered her mouth, her eyes wide. ‘What did he say?’ Her voice was almost a whisper.

  ‘He said something about you having a few things in common, referring to his guitar. It made me wonder how a newcomer to town could know about your love of music, considering you hadn’t played for almost ten years.’ She offered Ivy a resigned smile as she reached out and took her hands. ‘He tried to tell me Lottie had mentioned it to him but that raised an even bigger red flag, seeing as you barely knew Lottie Sinclair.’

  ‘Oh, Aunt Alice, why didn’t you say anything?’

  May folded her arms crossly. ‘Yes, Alice, why didn’t you say anything?’

  Alice took a few moments to respond as she squeezed Ivy’s hands. ‘You both know how strongly I believe in fate, and I was worried I could be jumping the gun and stirring up emotions that didn’t need to be stirred. I mean, what if I was completely wrong?’ She shrugged as her eyes filled with sadness, then looked down at the ground and slowly shook her head. ‘And I didn’t want to interfere in the natural course of things either, because if it was the case, I hoped Ronny would be a decent man and tell you himself – which I truly believed he might when he invited you for dinner last night.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m deeply disappointed in him. I honestly thought he was one of the good guys.’

  ‘And he still well could be, Alice,’ May said gently as she placed an arm around each of them. ‘We never know why a person has chosen to do something. And we can’t forget the fact he saved our beautiful Ivy from the unthinkable.’

  Alice nodded. ‘Yes, you’re right, May. We shouldn’t be judging the man before we know his reasons.’ She held Ivy’s gaze. ‘Have you given him a chance to explain himself?’

  Ivy shook her head. ‘No, I basically ran from his house when I found out. I didn’t know what else to do. I was in complete shock.’

  ‘And who could blame you for feeling like that?’ Alice said.

  May tipped her head to the side. ‘So how did you find out if he didn’t tell you?’

  ‘I found the letter I wrote to him in prison.’

  May gasped. ‘How did you come across that? You weren’t snooping around his house, were you?’

  ‘Of course not, Aunt May … I went to grab a shirt from his drawer and it fell out of it.’

  ‘Why were you getting a shirt out of his –’ Alice tapped her nose. ‘Oh.’

  Ivy blushed beneath her aunt’s knowing gaze.

  ‘Well, if that’s not the universe at work, I don’t know what is.’ Alice offered a soft smile. ‘It’s very sweet that he’s still got it, don’t you think?’

  Ivy looked into the distance. ‘I suppose it is. It would have been nice if he’d responded to it, though.’

  ‘Well, maybe you could give him a chance to respond to it now,’ Alice said, her brow quirked. ‘And face to face would be best. All this texting and Facebooking you young ones do these days to communicate just causes more problems.’

  Ivy fiddled with the belt on her robe. ‘I don’t know. I’m not sure if I could ever trust him again. And trust means everything to me.’

  ‘Do you love him, Ivy?’ Alice’s voice was soft, gentle, but laced with urgency.

  Ivy looked at Alice. ‘With all my heart and soul.’

  ‘Well, isn’t love worth fighting for?’

  ‘Yes – and no. I just don’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive him for lying to me the way he has.’

  ‘People sometimes think that forgiveness is weakness, Ivy, but it’s absolutely not,’ May said. ‘It takes a very strong person to forgive.’ She pulled her niece to her so their faces were only inches away from each other. ‘And you, my dear girl, are one of the strongest women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.’

  ‘Ditto,’ Alice said with a loving smile.

  Ivy fell into May’s arms. ‘I really don’t see myself as a strong person, so thank you for believing in me the way you both do.’

  Alice wrapped her arms around the two and gave them a hearty squeeze. ‘We want nothing but happiness for you, Ivy. And I think you know deep down what would make you happy – yes?’

  ‘Yup,’ Ivy said as sobs stole her voice.

  ‘Well, my darling girl, you better go get your man.’ Alice laughed softly as she released them. ‘But before you do, I think you better go brush those teeth of yours and put a brush through that crazy hair while your Aunt May and I make us some lunch.’

  Ivy laughed through her tears as she imagined how awful she must look. ‘I reckon you’re right. I don’t want to turn up at his place looking like a mad woman.’

  ‘
Probably best to give him a call first, too, Ivy, just to let him know you’d like to have a chat about everything.’

  ‘Yep, will do before I jump in the shower.’

  With trembling fingers Ivy dialled Ronny’s mobile number from the privacy of her room. She held her breath, waiting to hear his husky voice on the line. Instead, it rang out and then she was greeted by a computer-generated voice telling her to leave a message that would be converted to text. She hung up. The stupid things never got the message right anyway. She tried again. No answer. Her heart began to beat erratically. Was he ignoring her calls? She tried to rationalise it. Maybe he didn’t have his phone near him. Maybe he was in the shower, or out in the paddock, or on the loo, or … in bed with Amy. A pain shot through her heart. She shook her head, angry with herself for jumping to conclusions. But she couldn’t help it. He’d eroded her trust in him. Could she ever get it back? She decided to go for a shower, and then she’d try him again.

  Ten minutes later, with her wet hair wrapped up in a towel and the bathroom still cloaked in lingering steam, she pulled her robe around her and dialled his number again. This time, it went straight to the voice-to-text message. She sucked in a breath. He’d turned his phone off. He didn’t want to talk to her. And how could she blame him? He’d saved her all those years ago, and gone to jail for murdering the man who was going to take her life away – he’d lost all those precious years of living his life as a free man because of her. Instead of running from the house last night, she should have wrapped her arms around him and thanked him over and over. Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She felt like the biggest bitch on earth. Yes, she was entitled to feel shocked and angry – he’d deceived her, after all – but shouldn’t the fact he’d protected her with his life, and spent eight years in prison because of it, have outweighed all of that? Because the black and white of it was, if it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be standing here today. And if the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn’t she want to start life with a clean slate too, which is what she gathered he wanted, seeing as he’d changed his name? Was he such a bad person for wanting that? Panic filled her. She needed to get to him, now. Running to her bedroom, she put on some jeans and grabbed the first T-shirt she could find. While pulling it over her head, she slipped on her thongs and then slapped some lip gloss on her chapped lips. She quickly ran her brush through her hair as she dashed out the bedroom door and down the steps, ignoring the dull ache in her ankle as she did so. The mat at the bottom took off beneath her feet as she hit it and she did a bit of a crazy dance trying to stay upright, smiling at herself when she succeeded. A chuckle from behind grabbed her attention.