The Last Sundancer
Page 13
What she asked for was wisdom and Azin had given him more than his fair share. “I will share the warrior’s way with you and perhaps you will learn all that you can, but why did you include Antuk in your request?”
Amara was silent for so long that Kaichen thought she would not answer and then she spoke. “I think that Antuk has been underestimated by many throughout his life. I ask only that he receive the same instruction as I do. Will you teach us?”
“Yes.” Kaichen was unwilling to question himself on the matter. “But you are wrong about Antuk. He is my friend and I want only the best for him. He struggles when he is overburdened with too much at once.”
It was a kind way of saying that Antuk was not good at any one thing. Amara’s full lips flattened as her eyes sparked defiance.
“Perhaps he is simply capable of focusing solely upon one task at a time. Perhaps that is his skill.”
Kaichen did not disagree with her, he simply nodded his head. After a moment, he took Amara’s hand and helped her stand.
“We will leave now. Daylight is just ahead.”
Amara accepted the waterskin that he handed her and she smiled encouragingly at Antuk who stood off to the side watching her as if he feared she would simply collapse where she stood.
Amara wanted to collapse. She wanted to fall to her knees and weep until she had no tears left but the time for grief was not now.
Kaichen looked at her as if he searched for something within her that only he could see. Amara could only hope that she met with his approval. For he had offered her his protection when without it, she would have nothing at all.
Chapter Nine
“You will feel more comfortable with our people if you learn the language.” Kaichen spoke to Amara interspersing the words of her language with his. From experience, he knew that it was easier to learn the language of another by intermingling the two.
“How is it that you know how to speak my language so well?” Amara spoke because it was expected of her. Her voice was loud enough to carry to Kaichen but her heart felt wooden and empty.
The sunlight that filtered down from the sky above touched her but it did not warm her deep inside where her spirit had gone cold and silent.
“I learned your language from a man that was a friend to both my mother and father. Azin is the man that taught me the warrior’s way.” Kaichen’s response was brief and direct.
Again, he added words of his language with words known to Amara. She quickly began to see that their languages were closely matched with different twists of the tongue and an emphasis on various sounds.
“I will speak to you in the language of my people, the people of the red rock canyons. Soon you will respond in kind. This will be your second lesson. The first lesson is one that you have already learned. Never fight the desert, it will always win.” Kaichen’s face was set in a mask of determination and Amara simply nodded.
What choice did she have? His silence told her that there was no choice, she had to learn to survive on her own without a family, without a band or village to lend her strength. And so it began.
“How old are you Amara?” Kaichen’s question took her by surprise. Amara had been riding upon his horse lost in her own thoughts.
“I have seen seventeen seasons of life.” Amara answered slowly. Her tongue still stumbled over the sound of Kaichen’s words. For the last several days, he had spoken to her with a mixture of both languages. In this way, she began to pick up the cadence of his speech and to understand his words. Antuk for his part had caught on to Amara’s language and enjoyed the challenge of speaking in first one language and then another.
“You are younger than I imagined.” Kaichen enjoyed the way that Amara’s eyes lit with fire as her gaze challenged him.
Her beauty called to him and he knew that it would call to other men, men without honor and men with honor alike. He tried to keep his eyes turned away from the loveliness of her face, but he found that he searched for reasons to look at her, speak to her and stand close to her if possible.
The longer he was with her, the harder it was to remain unaffected. She was graceful and fragile as women were meant to be but she was also deceptively strong.
How else could he explain her ability to set her grief aside and continue on their journey? He knew that she grieved for her mother. He could see her grief plainly in the shadows that marked her eyes and the press of her full lips whenever she held them together to stop their trembling. At night, she wept but she did so quietly, so as not to disturb them.
If only she knew that he rarely slept. His body remained alert well into the night and only when he was fully exhausted did he allow himself to drift into troubled sleep. Kaichen never dreamed free of terror.
It was his curse to bear and he did not try to run from it. Though even the strongest man would hesitate to fall asleep, knowing what awaited him there in that place of dreams and darkness.
“I will take you with me today when I seek out a quiet place. You will learn silence, you will learn how to become a part of the land around you.” Kaichen did not know that he had made his decision until he spoke the words.
Antuk and Amara glanced at each other and nodded. Antuk could not hide his smile, he had always waited patiently before when Kaichen sought out a sacred place, now he was being invited to come along and learn.
Kaichen found a place that offered shelter from the sun and he left their animals securely tied. He took only his spear, hunting knife and waterskin as he silently beckoned Amara and Antuk to follow him. As he walked to the base of a rock wall Amara felt a tendril of excitement course through her body. She had already learned so much from Kaichen and now she sensed that he would share something that he kept secret until now.
“The sun is a part of the land though it hangs above it like an orb in the sky.” Kaichen began his instruction just as Azin had so long ago, when he had been nothing more than a scarred and broken child. “You must learn not to fight the sun, but to accept its power over our way of life. We will climb the face of this rock and seek wisdom.”
Kaichen was not concerned about Antuk, his friend could climb as well as any man born of rock and sun. But Amara was small and slight, he knew that she could climb but he did not wish to see her grow weak from the effort.
“You will lock your arms around my neck.” Kaichen’s voice was still one of instruction and he turned his face away as Amara gasped softly and then exhaled.
A moment passed before she placed both hands upon his shoulders. Kaichen did not give her time to balk. He found his first handhold and lifted them off the ground. Amara had no choice but to cling to his back as he began to climb.
Her weight was a gentle torture for him as he focused upon his intended destination. There was a ledge that would fit the three of them with little room for movement. It was the perfect place to teach them another lesson in survival.
Antuk followed behind with ease. He watched where Kaichen placed his hands and feet and did the same. Kaichen marveled that his friend had no trouble focusing open the task of climbing. He had never considered that Azin and the others had underestimated Antuk’s abilities. Until now. Amara made him question life in a way that he had never done before, despite Azin’s instruction.
“We face the sun directly.” Antuk’s voice was concerned as he glanced at Kaichen. “How long can a man survive with the sun overhead and very little water?”
Antuk’s question startled Kaichen and Amara. It was a moment before Kaichen formed a response. “Three days if the man is strong, two if he is weak.”
Antuk nodded but he did not speak. Kaichen wanted to assure his friend that they would not linger upon the ledge longer than was necessary to learn a very important lesson.
“We are in a canyon formed long ago by the forces of the world. Look and see.” Kaichen held his silence as Amara and Antuk gazed about. The beauty of the land was breathtaking when looked upon from such a high vantage point. It was as if they were floating a
bove the world, looking down upon it in all its glory.
“An able hunter knows that he must give himself over to the land if he is to be successful in the hunt. A skilled warrior knows that he must give himself over to the battle if he is to live. These are the things that you must remember. This is the warrior’s way.” Kaichen’s voice never lifted above a murmur as he spoke to the pair that listened with rapt attention.
He could not number the amount of days that he spent sitting at Azin’s feet and listening to the older man talk from the time the sun rose until the sun rested. He had learned patience, endurance, strength and wisdom at Azin’s side. Azin had become like a father to him, standing in the place of his own. Kaichen spoke of that time to Amara and Antuk with an eagerness that surprised him. Soon they would have to leave the ledge and journey onward, but not yet.
“When I was a boy, Azin took me to a place such as this.” Kaichen wove a story with his words and he felt certain that Amara and Antuk were captivated by his words.
“I was weak, unable to pull my own weight as we climbed and so Azin placed me upon his back. I remember thinking that I could let go and fall to my death at any time. By the time we gained the top of the spire I knew that I did not wish to die, I wished to live. Perhaps that was the lesson that Azin wished to teach me. I do not know. I only know that when we made it to the top of the rock, Azin handed me a waterskin half full and then he turned away.”
“I did not believe that he would leave me there, for I was weak and unable to protect myself. I watched as he slid on his belly and then began to descend. I scrambled to the edge of the rock and looked down to see that Azin was already far below.” His memories flooded over him as his mind returned to the time when he was a mere boy trained by Azin.
“Azin!” Kaichen looked down upon the wise face of the old man. “Do not leave me.”
“Why not? You have already left yourself. If you care to return to yourself, drink the water and climb down.” Azin’s eyes had held sadness in them, but Kaichen was too far away to see. Tears blinded his eyes as he glanced around frantically. For a moment, Azin had turned from a friend to an enemy in Kaichen’s eyes. He was stung by the man’s betrayal.
“Do not leave me!” Kaichen screamed but he knew no one could hear him. Kaichen paced back and forth upon the small rock as he looked for a means of escape. He felt angry at Azin for betraying him. He had not given the man his trust upon first meeting him and perhaps this way why Azin hated him.
Kaichen instinctively looked for Siada, but his twin was gone forever, slayed by the hand of Grandfather. Knowing that Grandfather was also dead did not set Kaichen’s heart at ease.
His mother had left him.
Kaichen told himself that he would have would have protected his mother from the dangers of the land. Yet, he knew that this was not true. He was only a boy, not yet a man and though he was growing in skill each day he could not guarantee his mother’s safety. Failure rested upon his shoulders like a skin covering that was much too heavy for one so weak.
His mother had given him the largest share of whatever meat was available. She had also forced water upon him until he felt as if he would burst. Perhaps she sought to undo all that had been done to him by his grandfather but she could not give him the one thing that he wanted. Siada, his brother was lost to him forever.
Anger and rage bloomed inside of Kaichen. Hatred made him strong and he stalked to the edge of the rock landing and peered over.
Azin did not look quite as formidable as he had before. Kaichen could admit that at times he had an unreasonable fear of men because of his grandfather. Images of the beatings that he and Siada had endured came to him unbidden and Kaichen fell to his knees.
He kept his eyes open, fearful of falling to his death. Breathing was difficult but he forced himself to do it. Siada had always believed in doing the hard thing because it made a person stronger.
“What is it that you truly fear?” Azin’s question reverberated inside of Kaichen’s mind as he looked into the heavens.
He wished that he could lie on his back and look up at the cloud shapes with his brother. He wished that he could return to the time of innocence and wonder.
His eyes were wise and old as he looked around them. Innocence itself had been stripped from him and he felt abandoned deep in his soul. He had lost his grandfather, his brother and now even his mother.
He remembered the way that his mother had walked with her hand on his shoulder until they reached the boundary of Azin’s band.
“The great mesas.” Denoa described the land to Kaichen, but it was as foreign to him as anything he had ever seen.
Blades of rich green grass bent beneath his feet only to spring forward anew when his footstep faded. Elevated areas of land with flat tops were all around them with sides that fell away like cliffs.
Denoa went on to describe the mesas and the animals of the land. Kaichen was dazed by the sound of his mother’s voice and the sight that fell away before him.
He did not speak, but he wondered why they remained upon the desert sand and dry places, if a land like this existed.
“Our people are set in their ways. We find strength from the red rocks that are a part of us, just as we are a part of them. We grow weak if we journey too far from the land of our birth.” Denoa had one hand upon her son’s shoulder and she knew the instant when he tensed. “But you, my son, are different.”
Her heart broke when he moved away from her touch and stood silently looking out at the land before him. Denoa forced herself to speak, knowing that the time left with her son was short, and she had to return to her people.
“You are not like the rest of us. Your father was not from this place. His people came upon our land like a great horde of insects swarming over our crops. They sought to conquer us long ago. You have your father’s blood in your veins, along with mine. You will survive this, my son.”
Denoa did not need to look away from Kaichen’s face to know that they were no longer alone. The men that acted as scouts for the bands that claimed the mesas were unafraid of one small woman and her son.
She stood proudly with her chin raised as they walked forward. Cohtzen was greeted with much show, for these people were those of his shared blood. A few of the men whispered amongst themselves and then stood aside as Azin walked between them. Azin and Cohtzen greeted each other with a clasp of hands upon wrists and quietly uttered words. Kaichen’s hands fisted at his side but his mother brushed past him and went to kneel before Azin.
Azin caught Denoa before she could fall to her knees and he held both of her delicate hands in his. “You have returned to us, after so long, we had given up hope.”
“I have brought my son to you. Shale’s son.” Denoa looked into Azin’s weathered face. He was the same as she remembered and yet different.
He had once given them sanctuary when they were hunted by all. He had given them friendship when they brought only hardship and strife along with him.
But this place held happy memories for Denoa, memories that she had not shared with her sons. Denoa briefly told Azin all that had befallen her and she was surprised when he told her that he had learned of the death of Shale.
All knew the legend of the Sundancer.
“Now I would ask that you train Kaichen. Teach him the warrior’s way so that he will walk unafraid.” Denoa’s lips trembled as she spoke but she forced the words out one by one.
“I will raise him as the son of my hearth of this you can have no doubt.” Azin’s eyes warmed as he looked at the angry young boy standing silently with his back to them.
Denoa’s eyes filled with tears of relief, despair and thanksgiving. But Azin raised a hand in caution.
“Hold back your tears. There is a journey ahead of you which will give you time to vent your grief. But show only strength to the boy for that is what he will remember.”
Denoa nodded and lifted her head until her face was warmed by the sun. She breathed deeply as Azin urged he
r to rise and bid Kaichen farewell.
She walked to stand before her son as she placed both hands upon his face, even though he jerked at her touch.
“Remember the stories of your father. Remember all that I have said and most of all, remember who you are. One day I will send for you and you will heed my call. Until that time Azin will have the raising of you and you will honor him as you would honor me.” Denoa memorized the shape of Kaichen’s face and the dark cast of his eyes.
She touched his skin which was dark like his father’s, lit by an inner sun and then she did what was necessary. She let him go.
Kaichen did not believe that his mother would simply leave him.
She had been by his side all of his life and even when he and Siada played together and ran free, she watched over them. She scolded them with a look and hugged them to her even when she was angry. How then could she simply walk away?
He wanted to call out to her but she walked quickly, with graceful steps that took her farther and farther into the distance. Cohtzen’s tall frame shadowed that of his mother and soon they were both out of sight.
Kaichen told himself that he did not care. He hated her and he did not need her. The man called Azin came to stand at his side and Kaichen refused to acknowledge his presence. He did not see the way that Azin looked after Denoa and Cohtzen. He did not recognize the similar signs of grief that darkened the older man’s eyes.
A dark scowl formed upon Azin’s face as he looked the boy over and tendrils of fear unfurled in Kaichen’s belly. His mother had abandoned him and left him with a fierce warrior with no softness in him.
“You are angry?” Azin’s deep voice surprised Kaichen.
When the boy did not answer him, Azin took a step forward and stood in front of Kaichen.
“When I ask you a question you will respond.” Azin’s voice was firm, though he felt pity for the boy that was no longer a child.