Fudge’s sudden bark startled me. He got up and ran to the front door. The sound of metal colliding with hard mahogany rang in my ears. He barked three more times before the door swung open. Kevin walked in with his suit drenched. I ran to him and embraced him. He hesitated for a moment before putting his arms around me, too.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, trembling. “I didn’t mean to run out like that.”
He held my shoulders and eased me back. Then he looked into my eyes with a soft smile. “You don’t ever have to apologize to me, baby. I love you no matter what.”
I pulled away when I felt the water on my hands and nightgown. “You’re so wet, honey. What do you say we get you out of those?”
He nodded and kissed me on the forehead. I grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. I put his clothes in the wash while he showered. An hour later, I fell asleep in his arms.
My alarm went off at 6 a.m. I blinked a few times but didn’t want to move. Kevin snored beside me. I gazed at him and smiled. He looked so peaceful with his mouth half-open, his eyes twitching like they always did when he slept. I removed his left arm from my stomach and placed it on the bed. After turning off the alarm, I walked into our en-suite bathroom. Fudge was sprawled on the floor, also fast asleep.
I sat next to him and rested my head on his back. Then I lifted him up—he was extremely heavy—and took him out of the room and put him on his cot in the living room. He didn’t stir the whole way.
The shower felt soothing, but I was still troubled by the tension that had lingered in the room before we went to sleep. I didn’t want to go to work, but I had to. I wished I could stay home and sort things out with Kevin. He’d said everything was okay, but I could tell he was just trying to avoid an argument. I turned the shower off and spent twenty minutes applying makeup. The bronzer and a bit of eyeliner were enough. After I sprayed Calvin Klein perfume on my body, I knelt next to Kevin and stared at him. He stirred and started to sniff. He opened his eyes moments later to the sight of my smiling face.
“Hey, baby,” he said.
I smiled. He sounded as if he were in a better mood. “Hey.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I wanted you to sleep.” I kissed him. “Do you want to do something tonight after I finish work?”
He sat up. “Really?”
“Yes, why not? It was nice to get out last night. I think we need to do that more often. And this time”—I giggled—“I promise I won’t go all psycho on you.”
He leaned toward me, his face excited. “Okay. I’ll sort something out. Maybe I can pick you up from work and we can go see a film.”
I kissed him again and stood up. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
I walked out of the apartment and rode the elevator to the bottom floor, where at least six people were lined up to order taxis. I remembered how much easier things had been during the days of buses.
I arrived at Bricklewood Hospital—fifteen miles from our place—just before 9 a.m. As always, Selena Adams had the TV on, with the volume near the peak.
“Don’t you think you should turn it down a little?” I said, setting my bag down on the table.
“Rachel.” She beamed. She turned the TV off and stared at me like I had a huge spot on my forehead. Her thick glasses didn’t go with her long blond hair. “It’s so good to have you back. We’ve missed you.”
“It’s only been two weeks.”
She shrugged. “Yes, but you know what I mean. You never stay here for long. You’re always going back to the different facilities. What are they doing to you now, anyway?”
“Nothing,” I said. “The experiments are actually finished. I’m just going there because I keep getting these crazy headaches.”
“I hope you’re not paying for the treatment. If they didn’t do all those tests on you in the first place, you’d be fine right now.”
“It’s fine, Selena, honest.”
“Well, it’s good to see you anyway.”
“Thanks. Is Warren in yet?”
“He is, actually,” Selena said. “I think he’s got a patient, too. The annoying Kyso working with him has been getting on my nerves all day. At least with you, we’ll have another real nurse in the building.”
I laughed and headed toward the cafeteria. “If Warren asks,” I shouted, “tell him I’ll be right there.”
After securing my bag in the locker, I walked toward the consulting room. Most of the doctors were busy with patients. Some worked with human nurses, while some relied solely on Kysos. I worked only with Dr Warren Lyntop as part of my contract. I passed a number of second-generation silver Kysos in the corridor, all rushing back and forth with the different catheters requested by the doctors.
I saw Warren through the glass. He was tending to the stomach wound of a boy who couldn’t have been more than four. I looked at the man and woman seated outside. They were probably in their late twenties, with matching red hair and freckles. Although many thought of me as a celebrity, I’d always envied Lotto winners, especially since losing Madeline.
The man and the woman rose when they saw me. “Oh, thank God,” the woman said. “A human nurse.”
I smiled. They looked so adorable together. The way Kevin and I had when Madeline was still with us. “You have nothing to worry about. Your child is in good hands, whether with a human or a Kyso.” I looked through the glass at the boy. He had bright blond hair and chubby cheeks. “He’s so cute. When did you win him?”
“Only last year,” the woman said. “I guess … Hang on. You’re—”
“Yes, I am,” I said.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman said. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Please, don’t apologize. I get it all the time.” I patted her on the shoulder and nodded at the man. “I’m going to help Dr Lyntop now. Please go and get some refreshments in the cafeteria if you’re hungry. Your son is in good hands.” I walked into the room.
I got my third page of the day around 4 p.m. I knew who it was and I ignored it. Selena rushed in a few minutes later. “Will you at least tell him to stop calling if you won’t speak to him?” Her voice carried a playful tone.
I smiled and glanced at Warren. He smiled at me. “You go and talk to him,” he said. “I’ll be fine here.”
I nodded and walked to the sink to wash my hands. Warren waved at the Kyso that had stood outside the room ever since I’d arrived. The robot walked back in.
“Take your time,” Warren said as I left. “I’ve got all the help I need here.”
“You’re the best,” I said. Warren had been nothing but nice to me since I started working at the hospital five years before. He’d helped me through so many hard times, especially after Madeline died and my marriage stagnated. Suzanna always joked that if Kevin ever left me, I should go after Warren. I guess I found him handsome in an older-guy kind of way. With his long dark hair and neatly trimmed goatee, he certainly didn’t look fifty.
Selena was waiting for me with the cordless phone in her hand when I arrived at reception. She had a firm but playful scowl on her face. I took the phone and walked toward the cafeteria. “Hi, Kevin,” I said.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Well, seeing as you’ve already called me three times today, I just had a feeling.”
“I certainly hope so,” Kevin said, “or I might have to get jealous.”
I chuckled.
“When do you finish?”
“I don’t know. I might stay a bit late. Why?”
“I just thought we could watch the Lotto together before going out.”
I frowned. “Kevin—”
“Forget it. I’m sorry. I just thought … You know what, don’t worry about it. Just call me half an hour before you finish and I’ll come and get you.”
“I won’t be long, I promise.”
“Okay, honey,” he said. “I love you.”
“Ditto.” I hung up and stood in the mi
ddle of the cafeteria. A few people stared at me as they read their papers and watched the wall-mounted TV. I knew why they were looking and wished they would stop. I was supposed to be this famous figure, but deep down, I was really just a pathetic mess. I couldn’t even get through a dinner without breaking down. I walked back to the reception area to return the phone to Selena.
The clock struck six as Warren ushered me into his office. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t think I had done anything to warrant disciplinary action, and he had never asked me to see him alone in his office before. I knew there had been talk among some of the other doctors and nurses to the effect that he had a soft spot for me, but I always thought he had too much respect for me to speak of it.
He opened the door for me and stood aside. I walked in, giving him a questioning glance. He smiled at me like nothing was wrong. After we sat down, he interlocked his fingers. “How are you doing, Rachel?”
I shrugged. “I don’t understand.”
“How are the headaches? The nightmares? Are you feeling better, or are the shakes getting worse?”
I sank back in the chair and nodded. “I don’t know what’s going on anymore. My mind’s everywhere. I’m now having visions when I’m out.”
“I take it you’re still seeing Jarrod.”
I nodded. “Yes, I am. He’s been wonderful.”
“But unethical,” Warren said with a raised voice. He placed both hands on his thighs and stood up.
“What is it, Warren? What’re you not telling me? What’ve you got against Jarrod?”
“Doesn’t it strike you as odd that your condition has worsened over the years, and now that you’re no longer part of the experiments, you’re losing your mind?”
“But we all knew the risks.”
He rushed forward and knelt beside me. My eyes widened. “But that’s the thing,” he said. “Those risks aren’t necessary.” He paused for a moment and stood up. He walked back to his seat. “I’ve known Jarrod for a very long time. We actually worked together on some of the more successful vaccines for the ribiti virus a few years back.”
“Okay.”
“I just … I think he’s reckless. He started human trials on some of the drugs we worked on way before they were ready. Thousands died. Somehow, he got people in the government to cover it up. Of course I can’t prove it, but what other reason could there be? He’s like a hero to them even now. I just feel that he might be doing the same thing with you. You’re not safe with him.”
I jumped to my feet, arms waving. “This is the person who’s treated me for ten whole years and you pick now to tell me? How about five years ago, when we started working together?”
“It wasn’t my place. Besides, Jarrod is still one of the most renowned doctors in the world. His research is helping to cure infertility. With any luck, we might have up to twenty natural births within the next ten years, all because of him.”
“Then what’s the problem?! And why tell me now if it’s not your place? What’s changed?”
“I’m just worried he might be losing ground and might try more aggressive methods. I just don’t want you to be his guinea pig.” He walked up to me and held my shoulders. “Look, I know the problems you’re having. You must know that you’re more than a colleague to me. I care about you, Rachel. That’s why I want you to allow me to take over your treatment.”
My eyes narrowed and I eased myself from his grasp.
“I can’t promise that your nightmares will go away,” he said, “or that your headaches will disappear, but I can promise you honest treatment.”
I didn’t know what to think. In a matter of seconds, he had me thinking that Jarrod might not be a good guy after all. But why should I trust his word without evidence? I glanced at my watch and then the door.
“What is it?” he said. “What’re you thinking about?”
I shook my head. “I need Jarrod’s meds. I can’t go through the pain of not having them. Do you know what it’s like for your whole body to feel like it’s about to explode? For your hands and feet to shake in front of people like you’re some kind of junkie?”
He just stared at me.
“Well, Jarrod’s meds stop all of that from happening, so it’s not so easy to just stop going to him for treatment.”
Warren took a step toward me. “You have my word, Rachel. I’ll do everything in my power to ease your pain.”
I backed toward the door. “I can’t. … I’ve got to go. At least let me think about this.”
He nodded and gestured toward the door. “Please do. I’m here for you, day or night.”
I rushed out of the room and down the corridor. My head was spinning. I just couldn’t imagine Jarrod doing the things Warren had said. Me, a guinea pig? I couldn’t accept that. I got to the reception area two minutes later. A number of people were huddled there, their eyes glued to the TV. Selena stood on her chair behind the reception desk, watching intently. I looked toward the door, but my curiosity got the better of me. I edged toward the side of the desk and raised a bar to let myself through.
“What’s going on?” I whispered to Selena.
Rapturous applause suddenly broke out and everyone around me jumped for joy. Men grabbed their partners and kissed them fervently. Some ran around the corridor shouting like crazy people. I didn’t understand what was going on. I looked at the TV, but the program had cut to a commercial.
Selena was also jumping up and down and raising her arms in the air. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “What the hell’s going on?”
“We won,” she said. “We did it.”
I squinted. “What’re you talking about?”
“The Lotto,” she said. “Three people in L.A. won it for the first time in almost ten years.” She turned around and continued raising her arms in the air
I turned away. I was happy for whoever it was, but I couldn’t deny feeling a hint of jealousy. I still didn’t know if I could cope with playing such a cruel game, though.
My cell vibrated. I saw Kevin’s name on the caller-ID. But he wouldn’t have been able to hear me with the ruckus. I held on to my bag and ran outside before answering. Kevin was screaming. He sounded just as crazy as the people in the hospital.
“Kevin. Kevin,” I screamed. “What is it?”
“Oh, baby, you won’t believe it.”
“What?”
“We won. We won. Woo!”
“I know we won. Everyone here’s been talking about it. The first triple victory in California for ten years or something.”
“No, you don’t get it,” he shouted. “It’s not just California. It’s you and me. We were one of the winners. We’ve won a baby.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yesterday after you left the restaurant, I was upset and just did it. I played it for us, baby. I put your name down and the numbers that came back were ours. We’re Lotto winners. Woo!”
My hands went numb. I dropped the phone. My lips trembled and my legs turned to jelly. I’m going to be a mother again. I slumped and fell to the ground.
Chapter Five
I opened my eyes to the sight of Warren staring down at me. I felt pain in the back of my head when I moved it. I recognized the bed I lay on—the one in his office. It didn’t seem appropriate, and anyone walking in might have thought something was going on.
“She’s awake,” I heard someone say.
I looked to my left to see at least fifty people staring at me. I recognized most of the people who’d been jumping around after the winners were announced. Then I remembered that the winners were from L.A. Then I remembered Kevin’s phone call. But it couldn’t have been so. Was I really one of the winners?
The door burst open, and Kevin’s perspiring face soon emerged from the crowd. He knelt beside me and held my hands. “Are you okay, baby?”
It was real. I was a winner. I was going to have a baby again. I smiled at him and squeezed his hands. “I was just in shock, is all. I’m okay
.”
“I’m so sorry for not telling you this morning. I didn’t think anything would come of it.” He kissed my forehead. “We’re going to be parents again.”
I scowled at him and shook my head, silently telling him to keep his voice down.
“It’s fine. They know anyway. The organizers figured you were one of the winners and announced it. Everyone knows.”
I frowned. They never announced the winners until the post-interview, after the children had been collected. Maybe it was just because it was me.
Selena walked up to us and crouched, as did almost everyone else in the room. All I could see was an endless sea of people, all staring down at me. “Congratulations, Rachel,” Selena said.
Tears of joy streamed from my eyes. “Where’s Suzanna and Jenny?” I said. “We need to get them here, too.”
“We’re already here, Rachel.” The voice came from the back of the room. I forced my head up and grimaced at the pain I felt, but I had to see my best friends. I saw Jenny first. Her short blond hair looked lighter than usual, almost white. Suzanna was right behind her, holding her shoulders; if Jenny were any smaller than her size six, she would have fallen to the floor under the weight. They forced their way to the front of the long line of people trying to get a glimpse of me.
If I’d hated being famous before, it had just gotten a whole lot worse.
Kevin caressed my cheek and stood aside, beside Warren, who had not lost the warm smile on his face.
“I can’t believe you won,” Jenny said in her high-pitched voice. She leaned down and gave me a bear hug. It was so tight that I grimaced, but I didn’t stop her. I knew how happy she was for me. She had told me many times that she would never stop praying for me, praying that I could have another baby. While this wasn’t what she’d had in mind, her prayers appeared to have been answered.
The Children Who Time Lost Page 4
