Pushed

by Leah Holt

  Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back on his chest as he massaged my pussy. His hand didn't slip inside, it stayed on the fabric, allowing that space between us.

  That one choice he made, that single line he didn't cross, sent my heart spinning inside my chest. He could have done anything he wanted, even if my words weren't allowed and my legs were sealed up tight; he could have forced me, he could have taken control and used his size against me.

  But he didn't.

  Trust was not easy to give, but if he could hold back, if he was able to control his impulses; trust was something I might be able to explore.

  I felt his lips on my neck as he exhaled into my hair. Sliding his other hand up my belly, Machi gently draped his fingertip over my nipple. Plucking the hardened bead, he moaned into my ear as his hips shifted beneath me.

  His cock was hard, rubbing against my ass. The muscle pushed against his jeans, trying to break free. But he didn't take it out, he didn't try to penetrate me or relieve himself.

  Machi just let me ride his hand, he never attempted to force anything, allowing me to have the moment, to be the one to make the choice to accept or deny.

  Butterflies rumbled in my belly as the buzzing in my clit forced my stomach to clench. The orgasm was rising, spreading, taking me inch by inch as it devoured my body.

  Prickles ignited over my skin as my back arched, driving my head into the nook between Machi's throat and shoulder.

  “Let it come, let yourself enjoy this,” he whispered, flicking the tip of his finger rapidly over my clit.

  “Mm,” I moaned, biting my lip and digging my nails into the top of his thighs. “Fuck, mm.” Quivers scaled up over my chest, hitting my arms and legs at the same time. I could barely think, I could hardly move as the orgasm settled like a cluster of butterflies all flapping their wings in my stomach.

  Slipping his palms up my arms, he glided them into my hair, tangling his fingers around the strands. Touching his cheek to mine, I could see him smiling from the corner of my eye.

  “Was that fun?” he asked, his teeth glistening behind a wide grin.

  I wasn't sure if I was allowed to speak or not, or if that moment had come and gone. With the noises around us, I wasn't even sure if he heard the sounds that did escape my lips to begin with.

  Shaking my head, I batted my lashes and ran my hands down my face.

  “Good, I'm glad you liked it.”

  The announcer stepped back on stage, smiling like a kid in a candy store. “Yeah, I know all you sick bastards enjoyed that. But let's get to the fun part, who's ready for what we're serving tonight?” Turning to the side, he held his arm out. “Meet the girls of the evening. All of our ladies are up for auction, no cap, no reserve.”

  Did he just say what I think he said?

  Six women stood side by side. Their faces were sunken in, their eyes tired and puffy, bodies ragged and covered in bruises. None of them looked up, none of them smiled or acknowledged the crowd around them. All of their eyes remained on the floor while their hands hung lifeless by their hips.

  “Alright, gentleman, first up tonight is the lovely Ruby. Ruby here is more flexible than you'd know what to do with, she loves a heavy hand and isn't in the habit of crying out loud. Let's start with a grand, do I hear a thousand?” Looking out into the crowd, the man started pointing and rattling off numbers. “I got a thousand, do I hear two thousand? Two—three, do I have four?”

  Confusion rattled my brain as I watched the announcer bark numbers and point into the crowd. He looked normal, he looked like a lawyer or business man going to a meeting in a boardroom. And yet, here he was, standing before a hoard of gargoyles and demons.

  They're bidding on the women. . .

  All these men are here to hopefully buy one of these women.

  It made me question how many times I had walked past someone who might have been involved in this world. How many times did I serve and touch the money of a man whose hands had touched these walls?

  The thought sent a shiver through my body and forced disgust to bubble up in my gut.

  Yells and paddles sprung up in all directions, turning my moment of erotic exploration into unsettled nerves and shock.

  An auction. . .

  Is this really an auction for women?

  Is this. . . Is this what he meant? Is this what he needs to get me ready for?

  Twisting my head over my shoulder, I stared into Machi's eyes. I didn't have to ask out loud for him to know what was running through my head.

  “Yes.” The single word hit me like a ton of bricks, it cut through my ears and sliced my heart in half.

  All the pleasure I had allowed my body to experience was erased, sending me down a spiral of dread.

  I'm. . .

  I'm for sale.

  Chapter Nine

  Machi

  “Wake up.” Speaking softly into her ear, I drew circles over her cheek.

  She hadn't looked at me at all since leaving the auction, she wouldn't look up, she wouldn't speak, she barely took an audible breath.

  And I hated it.

  As terrible as it might sound; I wanted her to scream at me, I wanted to see the fire in her veins and feel the thrash of her voice. If she felt the need to hit me, I wanted her to get it out.

  She could do anything she wanted to me, I didn't care, as long as she still felt something.

  But Imperial had numbed herself. Her eyes stayed steadfast on the ground, empty and blank, her body withered and slumped as we made our way back to her room.

  I felt for her, and the fact she had been thrown into the middle of all of this. But it was out of my hands, I didn't have a choice but to force her to play along.

  And a part of me felt tricked, like this woman had been dropped into my world just to show me what it felt like to still be alive. I was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for justice, to force an ending to the place that had taken a piece of my world away.

  But I felt different, my heart warmed to her, my muscles twitched violently the instant I had her in my hands.

  Having Imperial to protect made me realize that there were things worth living for even though I felt like I had nothing left.

  Slowly her eyes blinked open, her face cold and stern, lacking any of the emotions I had seen from her before. There was no anger, no hatred or regret. She looked dead, waiting patiently for the world to finally consume her.

  Dark blue rings rested under her eyes, the soft skin was puffed up and swollen like she had spent most of the night crying. The thought of that twisted my gut like a serrated blade had suddenly cut me deep.

  Just picturing her alone, expelling tears that weren't hers to shed; it hurt, it made me hate myself because she didn't ask for any of this. I had chosen this option for her.

  This saved her, she would be dead already if Fior and Z had taken her.

  If she ever wants to get out, it has to be done this way.

  My chest stung seeing the pain and confusion, knowing how hard it was for her to understand my reasons for bringing her here in the first place.

  But the answers she needed, the words that could lift her up and take away all this sadness. . . I couldn't give them to her. It was too risky, it could spoil everything I worked so hard for, leaving us both at the mercy of a bullet.

  “Come on, you can't spend all day laying here, we have work to do.”

  Rolling onto her back, she placed her arm up over her head. “I'm awake.” Her gaze stayed on the ceiling, staring blankly into nothing. She didn't frown, she didn't glance at me or shift her eyes.

  I tried to read her, I tried to see deep into her mind to figure out what the hell she was thinking. But I couldn't, the girl who had swept her emotions off the floor and was willing to fight for freedom had vanished.

  “We need to get started.” Pressing my hands into my knees, I leaned back, giving her a little space. “We're expected downstairs in twenty minutes.”

  “For what?” Her voice floated through
the air, flat and stale. “Temptation and desecration? A lesson in spanking, choking, maybe how to take a hit? Should I expect to be strapped to a board for perverts to drool over?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, shifting on the bed. “I told you before all you had to do was listen, that was it. They expect me to teach you, they expect me to break you down. I don't have to do it their way if you just do what I tell you to.”

  “Is that right? Their way, I saw their way, I know what they want.” Scrunching her brows, she shook her head side to side. “Do you really think I'm that stupid?” Imperial closed her eyes as she spoke, opening them slowly with a long exhale. “I know what this is now and I know exactly what you're doing. So why even bother treating me as anything other than a fucking object?”

  Don't do this, try to listen, don't read what you think you see.

  “I'll treat you however I want to. You lost your right to make decisions, remember? You abandoned your life when you looked in that window. But that doesn't mean I won't talk to you like you're still human. Do I have to spell it out for you? Rules are rules, we all have them and you're no different, not while you're still here.”

  “That's what I keep wondering—still here, but for how long?” There was no fire in her tone, she was deflated, as if she had given up on everything, even herself. “What can I expect tomorrow? Can I expect to still be here?”

  “Yes, you'll still be here, no one's going to hurt you, I won't let that happen. I told you that.” I needed her to believe me, to trust me.

  I wasn't going to allow her to question how much longer before she was sold. I needed her to be strong, to be filled with all the hate and ill feelings she had flooding her veins the days before.

  Without that strength, she'd never make it out, she'd fall into the pit that rested at her feet. The second she turned from steel to sand, the moment she truly gave up, I wouldn't be able to stop what came after.

  I needed her to forget about what she thought she knew and not give up on herself, regardless of what was coming her way.

  I could promise her protection, I could promise her no one would touch her, but I couldn't promise her sanity if she let this world dilute her mind.

  And she'd never forgive me for that.

  I'd never forgive myself for that.

  Fuck, Imperial!

  Don't let it go!

  Watching her for a moment, I tilted my head into my shoulder. “Where's the girl from yesterday?”

  “That girl is gone and all you're left with is what you see now.”

  “How does it just disappear overnight? How do you go from wanting to throw yourself through a pane of glass, to nothing more than an empty shell? You're not weak, Imperial, you're a lot stronger than you think.”

  “Don't you dare tell me what I am.” Eyeing me with a sideways glance, her lips pulled in tight. “Why don't you tell me how you go from promising me protection, to getting me off, to pulling the ground out from under my feet? Whoever I was is gone and it's your fault. I didn't ask for any of this!”

  I wanted to scream in her face that she had to hold what she felt, that she needed to cradle it with as much passion as her heart could allow. But I couldn't. She had to do it on her own, there was only so much I could do for her.

  My role had to stay the same, I had to be the asshole prick who pushed her along, who forced her to learn and beg and not defy the orders given.

  Is that the only thing you want from her?

  No. . .

  But it doesn't matter, that's not for you to take.

  What happened during the auction was a weak moment, it was a hiccup in the world I had deposited myself into. I let myself get sucked into her body, drowned in her need and desire. Her curves teased my cock, her soft skin and airless moans fed my arousal.

  And I was lucky as shit no one caught me with her pussy in my hand.

  I wasn't supposed to get close with the merchandise, never mind allow myself to taste the product. That agreement was one I followed, not once did I touch any of the other girls more than was necessary to train them.

  One touch, one kiss, one ride. . . And I'd never wake up again.

  But Imperial made me forget the rules, she made me lose sight of where we were and who I was supposed to be. And getting close, that would only lead her to a broken heart.

  I planned on protecting her, but that's where it ended, it was just for her. My life. . . My life was already over.

  That can't happen again.

  “What happened last night was a mistake.”

  “Which part? The part where you touched me or the part where you let me enjoy myself until I found out it was an auction?” Dragging her hands down her cheeks, her mouth stretched open as she sighed. “Or was it when you forgot to mention that I was for sale?”

  “Imperial, I'm not going to apologize for keeping anything from you or for giving you pleasure when you needed it.” Rubbing my forehead, I raked my fingers down my throat. “I never meant for it to happen that way, but it did. That doesn't mean you can shut down, what you know now doesn't have to make you crash and burn.”

  Rolling her eyes, she let out a dry, condescending laugh. “Are you fucking serious?” Resting her wrists on her forehead, she closed her eyes. “It's too late, I'm fucking burning at the stake. And after what I learned. . . Imperial, she's never coming back.”

  Shaking my head, I gripped her chin and forced her to look at me. Her eyes filled, glossing over, ready to spill free. But she held it in, forcing her tears to stay in place, replacing the water with anger.

  Squeezing my fingers around her jaw, I lowered my face, letting my lips hover just above hers.

  Staring into her eyes, my gaze drifted to the small details that made her beautiful and unique. She had tiny freckles that speckled the tops of her cheeks and a small dip at the end of her nose, forcing the tip to bump up slightly.

  It was cute and enticing, making me want to nip it with my teeth. I wanted to trace her freckles with my fingertips and lick each one as I watched her body melt beneath me.

  Her lips plumped up, parting as she inhaled, sucking in the air around us. I felt the heat off her breath as she exhaled across my face, watching her perfect tits rise up as she shifted her face in my hand.

  “Just kill me already, because I can't do this, I can't.” Opening her eyes wide, her lashes tickled the skin above her lids, drawing me in closer, creating a vortex that threatened to suck me down.

  Imperial was everything I didn't need. She was weakness and heaven, she was fire and water. She was forbidden temptation cutting me where I stood.

  I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to taste her lips on mine and feel her tongue as it slipped inside my mouth. I wanted to suckle her tits and feel her wrapped around my cock.

  I wanted everything she would never give me now that she knew what her purpose was.

  Why? Why would I want to take any more from her when I had already stolen enough? I stole her life, I stole her freedom.

  I stole her soul.

  Every day I gambled with the devil, I lived counting down the seconds, knowing that my last breath was coming. That was the last thing I wanted her to feel.

  “I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to kill you.” Our lips almost touched, but I pulled back, digging my fingers into the tender skin of her face. “You can't give up, I won't let you.” Releasing her cheeks, my fingertips left their mark on her skin with bright red impressions.

  “You won't hurt me?” Cocking her head, she glared up at me. “What do you think you've already done? You think watching you kill a man didn't hurt me? You think bringing me here wasn't hurting me? Do you really think finding out I'm going to be sold doesn't hurt me? All you care about is what you want, and what you want is control.”

  “It's not about control, it's about need. You need to be here, all of you. If you've checked out, then you're already dead. You can't check out, not if you want to survive.”

  There was so muc
h tension in my hands, in my face, in the muscles that stretched through my arms and around my chest. It was hard as hell to be right there and not kiss her.

  We were so close, closer than I should have been, closer than what was allowed. But this wasn't just another girl. This was a woman who was here because of something I had done, she had stumbled into my path and drowned from my hand.

  Her eyes searched mine as her back arched slightly. “Why? It doesn't matter. I'm not free, I'm not a girl or a woman. I'm a fucking possession, a fucking object.” With primed lips, she shook her head in disbelief. “What the hell do you want from me, Machi?” A single tear escaped, trickling down over her cheek. “I'm going to be auctioned off like a piece of meat. How the hell do you expect me to feel?”

  Pressing my forehead to hers, I closed my eyes, wishing she could read my thoughts. Wishing she could see what I was going to do to keep her safe and to set her free.

  I had already given up on living, accepting death as my end when this was all over, but now. . . I was willing to risk my life just to get her out.

  She had no idea, she couldn't see it. She couldn't hear the strain in my words or the truth in my voice. If she did, she would listen, she would stop asking questions and just allow me to help her without needing an explanation.

  All the words I couldn't say out loud were floating through my brain, begging her to read them. “You can't give up. Everything you felt before, everything you hated and feared. . .” Twisting my face against hers, I ran my hand down her throat and around her ribs. “You have to hold it, you have to feel it. That's the only way for you to still be whole, not numbing yourself or shutting down.”

  Scooping my hand into the small of her back, Imperial rubbed her face against mine, letting me touch her, letting her nose brush mine, letting the warmth of our skin bleed together.

  It was intoxicating, sending a rush through my body and shocking my system. My chest burned with need, my cock throbbed to be in her, to show her that there was more to me than what she saw, to show her that I was still human, that I could still feel.