Pushed

by Leah Holt

  Just do what he says, Perri. Try to trust him. . .

  Try.

  Gutty laughter and footsteps started to fill the room as more men entered. Keeping my head on the floor, I heard the sounds of chairs moving against the ceramic tiles and the subtle banter of back slaps and welcoming handshakes.

  “Machi!” A deep voice chimed as his shiny shoes pushed in, kicking my thighs like I wasn't even there. “I wasn't sure if you'd be joining us this morning after everything that happened, but I'm glad to see you're here.” Another set of smaller feet crept up beside him, bare and naked, just like mine.

  How many girls like me are here?

  Machi stood up, bending over me to greet the man. “Steven, I wouldn't miss this for anything.”

  “Good, you shouldn't. I want to say I'm impressed, most of us could never do what you did.” Steven's feet pushed in further, almost stepping completely on my thigh. But I didn't move, I stayed still, doing my best to bite my tongue. “The trouble you ran into, I'm sorry you had to deal with that.”

  Sitting back down, Machi began running his fingers through my hair. The gentle touch tickled my scalp, sending a shiver down my spine. It was soothing, causing my lids to close slightly and calming my nerves.

  Having him touch me seemed to be his way of speaking to me when words weren't allowed. His hands spoke with reassurance, telling me everything was all right. Every twirl of hair and rake through the strands let me know it was going to be okay. . . But only if I did as I was told.

  Angling my head closer to his lap, he continued to massage my scalp, digging his fingertips into my hair. “No, don't be, he got what he deserved. There's no room here for loose ends, I've always thought it was better to have a tight knot.”

  Chuckling, the man with shiny shoes stepped back and began walking away. “I'm sure Sylvan feels the same, which is why you're still here with us.”

  “I need to talk to him myself, I think he'd understand the situation better if he heard it from my own mouth, in my words, not Ethan's.”

  “Yes, well, we all know that takes time.” His voice drifted off as he walked to his seat, followed by the light slap of heels.

  Glancing under the table, my fingers twined together as I noticed more and more feet. There were several chairs with girls sitting beside them. Some were perched on their knees on the bare floor, a few others had small pillows to use, while the select few were cradled on the lap of a man.

  How can there be so many?

  Why do they stay?

  Machi's fingers continued to comb through my hair, each stroke was soft and tender as he played with the long locks, spinning them around his fingers and letting them fall free. He was talking to people I couldn't see, whose voices I didn't recognize, whose faces remained invisible to my eyes.

  Fuck, I wish I could see.

  The girls on the floor all kept their heads dipped into their chests, not moving a muscle. The tops of the toes that dangled under the table wiggled and bounced like children on the lap of a parent.

  A part of me was sickened by all the women who rested at the side of a man, while a small part of me twinged with jealousy over the girls who were allowed to be at the same level as the men they were with.

  Who are those girls? Why do they get special treatment?

  Taking in a deep breath, the savory scents of the room engulfed my body, drawing out the starvation my brain hadn't allowed me to feel before. The adrenaline had slowed down as time went on, giving room for my body to settle.

  My stomach gurgled and I cupped my belly, trying to silence the growing hunger. I was hoping that I was the only one that heard the sounds. I didn't want my talking stomach to be mistaken as my voice.

  Machi didn't seem to hear my belly growl, he kept chatting with people around the table, all while touching me delicately in some way. His hands worked over my shoulders, stroking my back, his fingers gripped the sides of my neck, massaging the muscle.

  I'm starving, when do I get to eat?

  “So, Machi, when should we expect the new arrivals? I mean, since the last two seemed to slip through the cracks and all.”

  “Well, right now I have a few girls being tailed on the east side. Hopefully, all goes well and we'll have them here in the next week or so.”

  “And how long do you think it will be till they're ready to go? The show next month needs to be full, we have a large crowd of high bidders that will be here.”

  Machi scratched his fingers up and down my neck, digging in with heavy strides. “Same as always, maybe sooner. My patience for trouble is thin, I'll work them hard.”

  “Good, that's good. Last night went well, but it could have been better.”

  Machi laughed and I felt him lean to his right. “They can always be better, Drake, always.”

  The table erupted in laughter as forks pinged off porcelain and full mouths mumbled inaudible words.

  I couldn't understand how those men could sit there and speak about women like they were meant for purchase, like their life was nothing, like women were put on earth to only serve the men who bought them.

  It was foul and disgusting, forcing my veins to pulse angrily beneath the surface.

  Balling my fists in my lap, I snarled under my breath. I was ready to jump up and scream, I wanted to call them all raging pricks, and make them regret ever taking advantage of another human being.

  Only I didn't. I allowed their conversations to flow in one ear and out the other, I forced myself to disregarded the words being spoken and pretend like I wasn't listening.

  But I heard everything, I took in every single cruel laugh and horrid reference about the women they were discussing. And I kept my mouth shut, not once allowing my anger to show on the outside.

  The group ate and talked, laughed and joked. And I just sat on my knees, with an empty stomach and hatred filling my chest.

  Fucking douchebags, stupid degenerate pricks!

  The cold edge of a plate slid into my leg, knocking me out of my trance. Looking down at my side, a plate of eggs with a roll and bacon was sitting on the floor beside me. Tapping my shoulder, Machi leaned down and spoke into my ear. “We're all done, you're allowed to eat now.”

  I was tempted to look up, but I couldn't. I stared at the small dish while ice hit my heart and rage bubbled deep inside. Glancing at the other women around the floor, their fingers picked and ate, filling their ribbed frames with scraps.

  This. . . This is it, I've had enough.

  Slowly rolling my head, I glared up at Machi. He didn't notice, he was too engulfed in whatever nonsensical discussion he was having with the man at his side.

  Rising to my feet, the room's multitude of voices all dissolved into silence. Holding out the plate, I spoke sternly. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Slamming the plate down, I laid my palms flat on the table. “What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

  “Pixie,” he demanded, jerking his shoulders back and gripping the trim of the table. “Sit back down.” Each word came out forced as his teeth bit down and his eyes glowed with disbelief.

  “No!” Flipping the plate, the food popped off and spilled over the glossy lacquered finish. “This, this is fucking degrading! I will not eat like a dog at your side, I will not take your scraps and make it seem like it's okay. I deserve more respect than that you fucking asshole!”

  Standing quickly, Machi loomed over me, shadowing my small frame. “Sit back down or so help me—”

  “Or so help you what?” My hand flew to my hip as my leg cocked out to the side. “I'm not a damn animal and you can't treat me like one.”

  A man at the head of the table held his finger up. “This is unacceptable, Machi, and you know it. She shouldn't be here if she's not ready.”

  Machi's lip curled up as his eyes dimmed and head tilted a hair into his shoulder. He didn't look back at the man or nod to him in agreement; he just stared at me, clutching his hands at his sides so tight his knuckles were white.

  “Who's ever actuall
y ready for this? What the hell do you do to these girls to make them so compliant? This is wrong! This isn't right!”

  “Pixie—”

  “Do you drug them? Do you—”

  Throwing his hand out, Machi cupped the nape of my neck and pushed my face down onto the table.

  Drawing in a loud gush of air, I gasped in surprise. My eyes scanned wildly around the table, not actually focusing on one face, but seeing them all in a blur, like the wind capturing a tornado of falling leaves.

  Their faces swirled together, their eyes blending into one dark mass as all of them glared at me like they wanted to jump the table and spit in my face.

  Lowering to my cheek, his free hand smacked loudly beside my head. “I warned you,” he said, whispering the words into my ear. “I warned you and now I have to punish you. These men need to know that I'm in charge. I told you I didn't want to have to do this, I told you that you had to choose; pride or freedom. You better hope you still have freedom left.”

  Tears instantly sprung to life, rolling off my cheeks and splashing the table like raindrops on the sidewalk. “Go on then, do it, fucking kill me. I don't give a shit, I won't do this!”

  From the corner of my eye, I watched the group smile and laugh. One man whispered something into the ear of the woman on his lap. Her cheeks blushed and she shyly tucked her face into his chest.

  Taking in a solid breath, I heard the wind echo in my ears as I pushed the air back out. The table clouded over in a white haze, blocking out the mirrored reflection of all the faces surrounding me.

  Just do it already! Get it over with!

  Bearing down on my teeth, I glared up at Machi, ignoring the tears that wouldn't stop falling. I wanted him to see me, to not have the luxury of only having to look at the back of my head.

  Let him see my eyes gloss over, let him watch the color drain from my face; he was the one who would have to live with that memory, and I was praying it would devour him from the inside out.

  Laughing lightly, he pressed his face against mine. “I'm not going to kill you, Pixie.” The sharp edges of his teeth gently plucked my lobe as a huge grin smeared his face. “Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't now, just because you told me to. What you want doesn't matter anymore, all that matters is what you do. . .” Breathing heavy over the shell of my ear, his voice morphed from dark to sinister. “Maybe after this you'll finally understand.” Sliding his hand down my spine, his palm rolled over the curve of my ass.

  Splayed over the table, every single face devoured me with a wide cavernous smile. Eyes twinkled and glittered, reveling in the torment that his control was about to extract from my body. They begged for more, they craved for more; while I anticipated the end.

  I didn't want to see them, I didn't want to watch the look on their faces or their tongues dragging over their lips like I was dessert being served on a silver platter.

  Closing my eyes, Machi's voice dropped to barely audible as he spoke one last sentence into my ear.

  “Try not scream, Imperial, it only makes them want more.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Machi

  “Are you okay?”

  Imperial rolled her head in my direction, sitting softly onto the bed with a wince. “I'll be fine.”

  “I warned you.”

  “Yeah, you've said that already.” Shaking her head, her hands sat on her lap. “I can't believe you spanked me.” Relief highlighted her tone as she lifted her head. “I honestly thought you were going to kill me.” Rocking her waist, she adjusted herself on the mattress.

  Watching her, I leaned against the wall and stuffed my hands under my arms. “That's not how it works, you're no good to them if you're dead. They want you to be like a doll; pliable and workable, so they can do whatever the fuck they want to. It's not that bad if you end up in the right hands. But fighting me, disobeying and not following the rules, that's what's going to make this harder on you.”

  Fiddling with her nails, she picked at her fingers. “I'm not meant for this, Machi, I can't handle it.”

  “Are you sure about that?” I asked, touching my bottom lip. “You handled yourself pretty well I'd say. Most girls panic, they try to run or fight back. But you. . .” Bobbing my head up and down, I pointed in her direction. “You're stronger, you fight without lifting a damn finger.”

  Sighing heavily, she flopped her body back, falling weightlessly onto the mattress. “Am I sure. . . Yes, the answer is yes.”

  “Well, I guess the only big problem you do have is keeping your mouth shut.” Winking playfully, I chuckled.

  I wanted to lighten the mood and get her to finally see that I wasn't the bad guy. I had a role to play, breaking character wasn't something I could do outside that room.

  But if she allowed herself to read between the lines, if she let herself see me and not the man I was forced to be, maybe she'd finally understand.

  Lifting her head up, her lids hovered half open. “That's not funny.” Grunting with annoyance, Imperial rubbed her temples. “Can I ask you something?”

  Shrugging my shoulder, I tipped my head towards the ceiling and nodded.

  “Will you give me an honest answer and not one of your cryptic fucking statements that don't make sense?”

  “I only make promises I can keep, but don't let that stop you. Go on, ask me.”

  “I know what you're doing and I know what you're preparing me for. I don't agree with it and I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been trying to find a way out. But there's one thing I don't understand—why are you being this nice to me? I mean—” Cutting herself off, she pinched and poked at her elbows nervously. “Are you always this nice to the women you kidnap?”

  Shit. I expected her to ask me about what was going to happen next or why the men here desired such horrible, disgusting things.

  How do I answer her?

  Tell her the truth, it doesn't change anything.

  Maybe she'll trust you more.

  “Well, if you want honesty, the truth is I've never kidnapped anyone before, you're the first.”

  “That's bullshit,” she said, her voice high, almost mimicking a cruel laugh. Shaking her head in disagreement, Imperial sucked her cheeks in and bit down. “I don't believe that for a fucking second.”

  “I'm serious, I've never had to take any of the girls forcefully, they all came because they wanted to.”

  Pushing up on her elbows, her eyes slit tight. “Why don't I believe that? You're going to try and tell me that women agree to this shit, like you can waltz right up to them and reel them in like you're selling tupperware to an elderly woman? No, I highly doubt that. Your guy there, Fior, when he grabbed me, it didn't seem like it was his first time. And that night your guys were out there looking, looking for other girls, girls you lost—”

  Holding up my hand, I stuffed her words right back into her mouth. “I said I never kidnapped anyone, that doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else here. And yes, we were looking for a couple girls, but it doesn't usually go down like that. That night was different, it wasn't typical. I'm not who you think I am, Imperial.”

  “So you don't go killing men and stealing women? That's all in my head, it's not how this shit goes? How the hell am I supposed to believe that when that's exactly what happened! What is this then, is it all just a big game? Is it just my eyes playing tricks on me; smoke and mirrors?”

  A pain hit my chest as the words came out of her mouth, slicing my heart in half. That was a phrase I wanted to forget. The only other thing I would ever risk my life for had swallowed those words, allowing the mask to take shape and come alive.

  Hearing it out loud again, having it seep into my skull, it hurt more than knowing what would happen to me when this was all over.

  “Don't. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.”

  Her eyes lit up, brows softening. “What about me then? What about in here, right now, who are you?”

  “I'm an asshole, I'm a royal fucking dick and I don
't take shit, that's me. But I'm not a monster, I wasn't lying when I told you that. Outside that door the rules are different, in here with you, I don't have to be that man, and I'd rather not be him. But it only works if you don't do anything stupid—like bite me.” Rubbing my ear, I cringed as I touched the small cut. “That shit hurt.”

  Imperial's lips turned up, her cheeks flushing red. She smiled, a real smile. It might have stemmed from embarrassment or shame, but I didn't care. Her face had actually brightened.

  My heart jumped seeing her lips curl and her teeth sprout behind the soft pink blush of her mouth. It was natural and pure, sexy and alluring.

  She had smiled and I was able to help her do it, I had given her a little color to the world she was seeing in gray. It had been so long since a woman had looked at me that way.

  Too many years had been spent trying to reach the forbidden fruit, that I hadn't realized how much I missed the feel of a woman in my arms or the scent of a woman on my clothes. I had forgotten how it felt to feel the intense throb that a girl as beautiful as her could drum up inside.

  “Yeah, about that, I was just trying to figure a way out, I thought. . . I thought maybe that could work.” Her thumbs tapped the bed as her eyes met mine. “Are you really telling me the truth about everything? That if I listen to you, you can help me get home?”

  Holding up three fingers, I said, “Scouts honor.”

  Dipping her brows, her nose scrunched in disbelief. “Come on, I need to know. Are you really telling me the truth?”

  Dropping my hand, I lifted my foot and pressed it against the wall behind me. “Yes, I mean it all. Except, it won't happen if you keep having these outbursts and don't follow the rules. If you want freedom, you have to listen.”

  Her brows un-twined, head angling towards her shoulder. “Like those other girls that didn't have to sit on the floor?”

  “Exactly, just like them. And trust me, they are not here by force. You might not believe it, but they love their master, their master loves them, it all works together in a sick way.”