Where Good Girls Go to Die (The Good Girls Series Book 1)

by Holly Renee

His hands tightened in my hair as I hollowed out my cheeks, and he thrust into my mouth, his control gone.

  I let him fuck my mouth, and I ate up every groan and every tremble. When he pulled out of my mouth, he put his hands under my arms and lifted me until I was facing him.

  His hand tightened around my neck, and he forcefully pulled me against him, his mouth bruising my lips.

  He lifted me in the air, my legs instantly going around his waist, and he pressed my back against the wall as he thrust into me.

  I gripped his shoulders in my hands as he slammed his hips into mine. His touch was almost punishing, but I ate it up. I needed it. I wanted it. Harder, faster.

  He bit down on my collarbone, and I felt myself tighten around him. His hands were gripping my ass and his eyes were watching where he slammed into me.

  “God, Livy.” His voice was breathless. “I will never get enough of you.”

  “I hope not.” I chuckled but stopped the moment his tongue flicked against my nipple.

  “Tell me you love me,” he demanded while looking straight in my eyes.

  “I love you, Parker.”

  He slammed into me again, and I fell apart around him.

  “Fuck.”

  I was spiraling.

  “Parker.”

  I couldn’t see anything past him.

  “Oh God.”

  He gripped my thigh in his hand lifting it against my chest, and he thrust into me until he fell over the edge with me.

  Our bodies were covered in sweat and river water, and I never wanted to come down from the high.

  I would take being bad with Parker James a million times over being good with anyone else.

  L I V Y

  Present

  I traced the ink over his side, and his skin broke out in goosebumps under my touch.

  “What’s this one?” I pointed to the red rose that stood out against so much black ink.

  “That one is for my grandmother. Roses were her favorite.”

  I pressed a kiss against the rose then ran my hand over the portrait he had drawn of me that rested on his side.

  “When did you get this?” I traced the lines that came out of the side of my face. It was a beautiful madness.

  “About two years ago.” He looked down at the tattoo and watched my fingers.

  Two years ago.

  Two years after I left.

  I pressed my body against his and kissed the edge of his jaw.

  “What was that for?” He was looking down at me and he looked so open and so vulnerable, and I never wanted that moment to end.

  “For loving me.”

  He gripped my chin in his hand and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I couldn’t stop loving you if I tried. And trust me. I did.” He laughed before dipping his tongue into my mouth.

  His phone rang, echoing through the room, but he didn’t move his mouth from mine. His arms were wrapped around me, and I was completely wrapped up in him.

  He kissed down my neck and my chest heaved under his touch. His phone rang again, but he continued to make his way down my body.

  “Do you think you should get that?” I arched my body while he bit down against my ribs.

  “If it’s important, they’ll call back.”

  His phone stopped ringing and immediately started ringing again.

  “Fuck.” He pulled his lips from my body then made his way across the room to grab his phone. I watched his ass as he walked away from me. His body was out of this world, and I wanted to trace every ridge and curve with my tongue.

  “Hello?” He ran his hand through his hair and winked at me when he caught me checking him out.

  I smiled and pulled his comforter up against my chest.

  “What?” His voice sounded panicked, and I sat up in bed. “When?”

  He pulled at the ends of his hair, and I stopped breathing.

  “Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there.” He pressed the end button on his phone, and I watched his back muscles bunch as he took a deep breath before turning to me.

  “Livy, it’s… It’s Emily.” He hesitated when he said her name, but I could see the desperation in his eyes. “She’s been in a wreck. I… Fuck. I…”

  “Go, Parker.”

  His eyes jumped to mine. “She still has me listed as her emergency contact everywhere. That was the hospital. I need to call her family. I…”

  “Parker…” I sat up on my knees and gripped his hands in mine. “She needs you. Go.”

  He searched my eyes before he gripped my neck and pulled me against him. He kissed my mouth desperately, and I tried to not let panic take over.

  “I love you. You know that, right?”

  “I know,” I whispered against his mouth.

  He pressed his forehead against mine then he let me go and started throwing on clothes. I climbed out of his bed and looked around his room for my clothes before I remembered that they were still outside.

  “What are you doing?” He buttoned his jeans and lifted a t-shirt over his head.

  “Getting dressed.” I shrugged my shoulders as I stood in the center of his room completely naked.

  “Please don’t leave.” He gripped my hands in his. “Stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I need to know that you’re still here.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  He pressed another kiss against my lips then he walked out the door to her.

  P A R K E R

  Present

  I was not prepared for walking into Emily’s room. All the nurse had told me on the phone was that she had been in a car wreck. She didn’t tell me any more details. She didn’t tell me what kind of condition she was in.

  She was connected to so many wires and tubes that I couldn’t count them all. Bruises were already forming on her skin and there were bandages covering so many places.

  “Are you Mr. James?” A voice called from behind me, and I turned to find a short nurse dressed in a pair of dark blue scrubs.

  “Yes.” I cleared my dry throat. “Yes. That’s me.”

  She nodded her head before making her way around Emily’s bed and checking the machines that were connected to her.

  “Is she okay?” I looked around the room. There was a dry erase board on the wall that said the nurse’s name, Amanda, and under Goals, there was nothing listed.

  “It’s quite early to know what all damage has been done, but yes, your wife should be okay.” She pressed a button on some machine that was pumping medicine into Emily.

  “She’s not my wife. She’s my… She’s my ex.”

  The nurse’s eyes got big but she quickly recovered with a smile.

  “I’m sorry. I just assumed since she asked for you.”

  “She asked for me?” My chest tightened at her words. Emily and I didn’t work out, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t love her once.

  “Yes. She was very intoxicated when the ambulance brought her in, but she was demanding for you. Your name was just about the only information the emergency room could get out of her.” She straightened the blanket that lay over Emily as she talked.

  “She was drinking and driving?” That didn’t sound like Emily. She would never do something so reckless.

  “Yes. She completely totaled her vehicle, but she was the only one involved. Thank God.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at Emily. She looked so fragile lying in that hospital bed. So… broken.

  “She should wake up soon. I gave her some pain medicine a few hours ago that made her really sleepy.”

  I nodded my head as the nurse spoke.

  Why would she drink and drive? What would make her be so reckless? Then it hit me.

  Me.

  Guilt flooded me, and I tried to pay attention as the nurse continued to talk about concussions and cuts.

  She would have never done something like this before. Before I cancelled our wedding and broke her fucking heart.

  “I need to call her family.” I sat down next to Emily
and ran my hand over hers.

  “Okay. I’ll give you some time alone.” The nurse shut the door behind her, and I felt like I was suffocating. I wished I was still at home in bed with Livy, but just that thought ate me alive with guilt.

  Livy was right about me from the beginning, I fucked everything up. I’ve had two girls that truly loved me in this life, and I broke them both.

  Neither one of them deserved it. Neither one of them should have ever been with me to start with because I was where good girls go to die.

  L I V Y

  Present

  Parker had been gone for five hours.

  I knew five hours was nothing.

  But I hadn’t heard from him. Not one call or a text, and I’d be lying if I said that my chest wasn’t tight with panic.

  I sent him a text to let him know that I was here if he needed anything, but he hadn’t replied.

  I pathetically watched the screen to see those three little dots that meant he was typing, but they never came.

  I was wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts. My clothes were in the washer. Even if I wanted to leave. I couldn’t.

  But I wouldn’t.

  I had run from him before, but I wouldn’t let my fear win again.

  But I couldn’t stop my imagination from running wild. What was he doing? Was he comforting her? Was he thinking that he had made a mistake by choosing me over her?

  Had he?

  I sat down on his couch with a cup of hot chocolate in my hand and stared out to the back porch where I had fallen apart under his touch yesterday.

  When everything was perfect.

  I curled up in a blanket and watched a movie. When I still hadn’t heard from Parker two hours later, I became even more worried.

  I pressed his name with a trembling finger and held the phone to my ear. When I heard his voice through the other end of the phone, I finally breathed.

  “Livy.”

  “Parker, is everything okay?” I tucked my knees into my chest.

  He took a deep breath and I heard it through the phone. “She’s beat up pretty badly. She has a concussion, and she had to have six stitches in her forehead.”

  I could hear how worried he was through the phone.

  “What happened?”

  “She was drinking and driving,” he said softly.

  “Wow.”

  “She was… She was drinking because of me. We would have been on our honeymoon right now, Livy.”

  “Don’t do that, Parker.”

  “Do what?” He sounded frustrated.

  “Do not blame yourself for this happening to her.” His guilt was so tangible that even I could feel it, but it was misplaced. “She made the choice to get behind the wheel of her car. Not you.”

  “I need to go. Her parents are just now getting here.”

  “Okay.” I nodded my head even though he couldn’t see it. “I’m not leaving, Parker.”

  He was silent, and that silence scared me far more than his words.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Livy.”

  P A R K E R

  Present

  “Parker.” She reached out for me.

  “Hey, Emily.” I sat down beside her hospital bed.

  “What happened?” She looked around the room, confused.

  “You were in a car accident. Do you not remember?”

  She blinked her eyes, her face black and blue from the wreck.

  “I remember going out drinking with the girls. I remember.” She stopped and looked at me. “I was drunk.”

  I nodded my head, and she closed her eyes.

  “I’m such an idiot.”

  I didn’t say anything because she was right. Drinking and driving was idiotic. She didn’t need me yelling at her for her to realize that.

  “Where are my parents?” She looked toward the door.

  “They went downstairs to get some lunch. I told them I would stay here in case you woke up.”

  She looked up at me, so much hope in her eyes. “Why are you here, Parker?”

  “They said you kept saying my name over and over when they brought you in.”

  She tried to bring her hand up to her face, but all the cords and tubes stopped her.

  “I’m sorry, Parker. That’s so embarrassing.” She chuckled, but it was completely fake.

  “I’m the one who is sorry, Emily. I never meant for things to be like this. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know.” She leaned her head back against her pillow. “But it still hurts.”

  I nodded my head. I didn’t know what I could say to her to make it better. I didn’t know if there was anything I could say.

  “Is she worth it?” She was staring at me, and as much as I didn’t want to hurt her more, I couldn’t lie to her.

  “I’m in love with her, Emily. I have been since I was sixteen years old.”

  She bit her lip and I could see tears forming in her eyes. “Did you love me?”

  My chest ached because I did love her. I didn’t love her in the way that I loved Livy, but it didn’t mean that our love hadn’t meant something.

  “I did.”

  “But you love her more.”

  I didn’t answer her. I just looked at her, and she nodded her head. She already knew the answer.

  “Why are you here, Parker?”

  “I already told you. You kept saying my name and…”

  “No, Parker.” She shook her head.

  “Why are you here?”

  I stared at her, the girl that I almost married, and the guilt ate me up inside. “I feel so guilty, Emily. I just… I want you to be happy. I walked in here, and I saw you like this.” I motioned toward her. “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me.”

  “Stop.” She put her hand on top of mine. “I would give anything to have you still. Anything.” She took a deep, trembling breath. “But I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s in love with someone else. I deserve better than that.”

  “I know you do.” Emily deserved everything good. She deserved the world.

  “Don’t waste it. We broke up because you’re in love with her. Don’t make her question that.”

  Her words hit me hard in the chest.

  “Go to her.”

  I stood up, kissing Emily on the forehead, kissing her for the last time. “Thank you.”

  I walked to the door, but Emily called my name as I turned the handle.

  “I don’t blame you, you know? You can’t help who you love.”

  And with her forgiveness, my heart broke a little more because I didn’t deserve it.

  L I V Y

  Present

  When Parker finally walked in the door, I could feel the darkness that surrounded him.

  He set his keys down on and the counter and stared at me from across the room.

  “You’re still here.” His voice was soft and just hearing it seemed to calm some of my anxiety.

  “I told you I would be.”

  He nodded his head, but I could see how lost he was in his eyes.

  “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head and looked away from me.

  “I’m just tired. I’m going to jump in the shower. Okay?”

  I nodded my head and he made his way up the stairs without a backward glance.

  As I watched his back disappear up the stairs, my chest ached. He was hurting. It was clear to see it, but I didn’t know how to make it better. I didn’t know how to make him let me back in.

  I walked up the stairs and I heard the shower kick on as I entered his room. He had left the door cracked open, and even though I knew I was invading his privacy, I stood at the door and watched him. His forehead pressed against the shower wall, the cascade of water raining down on him.

  I stripped my clothes off until I was completely bare, and I stepped into the shower behind him. He didn’t lift his head when he heard the shower door, but I watched the muscles of his back tense.
/>   “Livy, what are you doing?”

  “Parker, please.” I ran my hands down his back before pressing my chest against him.

  “I’m sorry, Livy. I’m just fucked up in my head right now. I just need… I don’t know. I need to be alone.”

  “Let me help you,” I whispered before I pressed my lips against his back.

  He shook his head, water flying around him. “I’m just so mad at myself. I’m so fucking angry.” He slammed his fist against the shower wall, and I wrapped my arms around his chest.

  “Take it out on me, Parker. Let me help you let go.”

  He turned toward me, finally looking me in the eyes. “I love you, Livy.”

  “I know,” I nodded my head, “but fuck me like you don’t.”

  He slammed my back into the shower wall, the cold tile hitting my back, and his body surrounding me.

  His mouth met mine in a rush. His kiss was sloppy and wet and full of anger. He lifted me up, his fingers digging into my thighs before he lined his cock up with his hand and thrust inside me without warning.

  He thrust into me hard and angry, and I moaned as he hit a spot inside of me that begged for more. I took all of him. His anger. His need. His possession.

  Pressure built inside me that was far more powerful than anything I had ever felt before. He bit down on my neck before he dropped me back down to my feet, and he spun me around. His hand was buried in my hair and my back was arched to the point of pain.

  But he didn’t stop.

  He thrust into me from behind and my hands pressed against the wet tiles trying to find something to hold onto. He pulled on my hair turning my face toward his, and he kissed me while he slammed harder into my body.

  He released my hair making my upper body jolt forward, and I gripped the edge of the shower as his fingers gripped my ass. He reached his hand around my body and just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he slapped my clit with his hand and I screamed out his name as I came around him.

  He thrust into me harder and my hands slipped, no longer strong enough to hold me. Parker caught my weight though and he carried me out of the shower and set me on the bathroom counter.