The Portrait

by Joan Wolf

Papa and I rode in Leo’s curricle to the church. The hood on the carriage had been put down so that Papa and I would be visible to the people who were lining the streets. “There will be people waiting to see you,” Aunt Augusta had warned me, and she was right. The roadway was packed with men, women and children all shouting: God bless you, my lady! Isn’t she beautiful? Look at her veil—it’s made all of lace!

  Papa and I were accustomed to performing in front of large crowds and we knew what to do. We smiled and waved at the kind people who had probably been standing for hours waiting for the carriage to arrive.

  At last we reached St Michael, a gray stone church with a tall stone tower. A graveyard lay to its left and evenly cut grass grew on a small lawn in front. I had been to church with Leo and Aunt Augusta every Sunday since I arrived at Camden Hall and both the church and the vicar were familiar to me.

  Susan was waiting for us on the steps and after Papa had helped me to alight, she picked up my train so it wouldn’t get dirty. We ascended the stairs and entered into the vestibule. Papa went down the aisle to join Mother and Elisabeth in the front row and I peered through the glass that divided the vestibule from the main body of the church, hoping to see Leo.

  All of the local gentry had come out; every pew was taken. I could see Leo standing at the top of the aisle with his groomsman, Robert of course, standing beside him. I stepped away from the window, steadier now that I had seen him.

  Susan was commenting on the filled church and I said, “They’ve all come for Leo. I think everyone is happy to see him getting married again.”

  Everyone but Margaret, I thought to myself. Leo and I were taking a few weeks’ honeymoon at a property he owned in Hampshire. By the time we returned my hope was that Margaret and Robert would be moved into the Dower House. She might be perfectly innocent of wishing ill to Leo. She probably was perfectly innocent. But no one else had been caught and I would feel better with her out of his way.

  Susan said, “When you first came to Camden did you ever think you would marry Leo?”

  “Never. I hated him for making me leave my Papa. I hated everything about Camden, and I was desperately lonely. All I wanted to do was hide in Alonzo’s stall for the next six months. Leo understood how unhappy I was, and he took me riding with him. That’s when I got to know him.”

  Susan sighed. “It’s so romantic. I hope I can find a husband to love the way you love Leo.”

  I didn’t think she would. I didn’t think anyone could love a man as much as I loved Leo. But I smiled and said, “I’m sure you will one day.”

  The organ began to play, and I inhaled deeply. Susan said, “It’s time.”

  I nodded. We both moved to the door that opened onto the center aisle of the church and began to process slowly, me first and Susan behind watching over my train. After the first few careful steps I looked down the aisle and saw Leo. He was wearing a light gray morning coat and pale gray pantaloons. The sun shone through the stained-glass windows that surrounded the altar and lit his hair. I was too far away to see the expression on his face.

  Everyone was standing and singing the opening hymn. It wasn’t one I had heard before and I thought it must be a wedding hymn. I came abreast of my mother and saw there were tears rolling down her cheeks. I paused, leaned over the pew end, and kissed her. She smiled through her tears and I went forward again.

  The wedding ceremony was lovely. Papa said he would give me to Leo. I promised to take Leo as my wedded husband. I promised to have him for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, to love, cherish, and obey until death. I didn’t mind promising to obey Leo. I couldn’t imagine him ever asking me to do something I didn’t want to do. And if he did…well we would discuss it. Leo put a delicate gold ring on my finger, and we were pronounced Man and Wife.

  We looked into each other’s eyes as those words were said and I felt…I felt….how to describe it? How my heart was so full of love it swelled in my chest until I could hardly breathe, how my body was quivering and my hand trembling, how I just wanted to fling my arms around Leo and hold him tight. He bent his head and kissed me. “It’s legal now,” he said and grinned.

  The grin was what restored my composure. I smiled back at him. Susan fussed with my train and together we walked back down the aisle as husband and wife.

  *

  Leo and I drove back to the house in the curricle. A huge wedding breakfast had been set out in the dining room for all of the guests. Tents had been set up on the front lawn for the servants’ and tenants’ festivities. A crowd of adults and children was already spread across the thick green grass, many of them already eating the food that was being served in the tents.

  Everyone cheered as our curricle rolled by, and Leo and I waved at the excited children. We were only staying for part of the wedding breakfast; then we would change our clothes and leave for Waltham House in Hampshire. Leo had sent a contingent of servants down two days before to make sure the house was ready for us. Elisabeth and Leo’s valet were leaving as soon as they changed out of their wedding clothes so they would be at Waltham to greet us. They were traveling in the carriage with all of our baggage.

  This swarm of servants was Leo’s idea of a private, quiet honeymoon. I may have rolled my eyes a few times as he made his preparations, but I didn’t say a word.

  I did speak my mind one time though. It was a week before the wedding, and Leo and I had taken the horses for a morning ride. We had stopped at the river, dismounted and gone to stand beside the clear rushing water. I was leaning against his shoulder not thinking about anything except how lovely it was to be here with him, when he said, “I haven’t given you a wedding gift yet. Is there something special you would like?”

  “Leo, two nights ago you presented me with a fortune in jewelry. That is a huge wedding present.”

  A breeze kicked up and ruffled my hair. He smoothed a stray lock behind my ear. His touch made me shiver.

  “That jewelry belongs to the estate, sweetheart. It’s on loan to you for as long as you are the earl’s wife. I want to give you something that will be yours to keep.”

  I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder. “I will have you to keep.”

  “Thank you, darling, but I meant something other than me.”

  I wondered if this was the time to bring up something I had been considering recently. I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder once more and said calmly, “I would like a new cook for a wedding present.”

  I felt him stiffen. “A new cook? What is wrong with the cook we have?”

  I knew that if I didn’t speak now I never would. I summoned my courage and said, “Leo, I am sorry to have to say this, but I think we should always be honest with each other. The food at Camden Hall is atrocious.”

  His brows went up. His eyes enlarged. “Atrocious? I know it’s plain English cooking, Isabel, but I certainly wouldn’t call it atrocious.”

  I hated hurting his feelings and was tempted to give in. Then I remembered that I was going to have to eat that cooking or cooking like it for the rest of my life. I steeled my heart and said, “You asked me what I wanted for a wedding present and that is my answer. “I want a French chef.”

  “A French chef!”

  “Leo, you live in London for part of the year. There must be houses in London that have French chefs. Have you never eaten French cooking?”

  Long pause, then he said reluctantly, “The Jerseys have a French chef.”

  “Have you eaten there?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was it good?”

  His nostrils quivered. “Yes.”

  “Better than ‘plain English cooking’?”

  He threw up his hands. “Isabel, what am I supposed to do with Mrs. Sarett? She’s been cooking for us for years! She came to Camden when my father was still the earl!”

  “Retire her,” I said. “Find her a nice house and give her a pension.”

  “I never thought you could be so heartless.” The poor man
looked truly shocked.

  “Leo, why do you think Papa moved into his new house before Estelle arrived? He’d rather cook for himself than eat what appears on our table. I can cook better than Mrs. Sarett.”

  “She’s been here forever,” he said stubbornly.

  “Talk to her. You might be surprised. She might be happy to retire. How old is she?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “If she’s been here since your father’s time, she can’t be young. Talk to her,” I repeated.

  And that was how we left it.

  *

  The wedding “breakfast” was really a luncheon, but there were some breakfast foods on the table as well. Leo helped himself to sausage and blood pudding and I chose a plate of cold turkey. Then we moved into the drawing room where the guests—all of them suitably high born—had gathered with their food. Champagne was being poured and I accepted a glass. Aunt Augusta was seated before the fireplace and she beckoned me to her side. I made my way to her, balancing the food and the glass as I wove through the crowd. For the next hour I was introduced to a collection of earls, viscounts, barons and their wives. Everyone told me I looked beautiful and said how wonderful it was that Leo was marrying again.

  While I stood trapped next to Aunt Augusta, Leo had been circling the room chatting to as many people as possible. After an hour and a half he finally arrived at my side. I prayed he was going to rescue me, and he did.

  “Isabel and I are going upstairs to change our clothes now, Aunt Augusta,” he said. “We need to leave soon if we are to reach Hampshire in time for dinner.”

  “Very well, dear boy.” She looked at the both of us and I thought I saw the glisten of tears in her eyes. “I am so happy for you both. Isabel, my dear,” her veined old hand pulled me toward her. “God bless you,” she said. I bent down and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Aunt Augusta. You have been so kind to me.”

  “Oh dear child.” Those definitely were tears in her eyes. “You have been such a gift to us. To see Leo marry again…it’s made my heart burst with joy.”

  I stepped back and let Leo take my place. He too bent and kissed the old lady on her cheek. He straightened up and grinned at her. “I am a happy man today, Aunt.”

  “Indeed you are. You are a good man, Leo. You have put up with your old aunt for all these years, and never once have you made me feel I am unwelcome in your home.” Two tears actually rolled down her cheeks. “God bless you, my boy. God bless you both.”

  We left her side both of us feeling a little stunned. “Was that actually Aunt Augusta?” I said.

  “When my father died she went into full mourning. She loves us all very much, but she doesn’t know how to show it.”

  I made a resolution never to say another unkind word about Aunt Augusta no matter the provocation.

  An hour later Leo and I were in the saddle heading toward Waltham House. Mother had protested when she heard we were riding, but I explained we wanted to have our horses in Hampshire, and we didn’t trust anyone else to get them there safely. Leo assured her that the trip would be less than three hours.

  Elisabeth was already on her way to Hampshire, so Mother helped me out of my wedding gown. When I was standing in my chemise and petticoat she said, “Darling, do you know what happens on a wedding night? I knew nothing about it when I married Mansfield and the shock was awful.”

  I kissed her cheek. “I grew up in a circus, Mother. I know all about what goes on between a male and female when they mate.”

  “I see. Have you ever…?” Her voice trailed off.

  “No, Mother, I have never.”

  “Thank God. What would Leo say if he found you were not a virgin?”

  “I expect he would continue to love me just the same.”

  The worried lines disappeared from her forehead and she gave me a lovely smile. “I’m sure he would. One has only to look at the two of you together to know there is something special between you.”

  When I was dressed in my riding clothes and my wedding dress was hanging off the door of my wardrobe, I gave Mother a kiss and went downstairs to meet my husband.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Waltham House was a pretty gabled manor house surrounded by lawns, meadows and woods. Leo told me it had been built during the reign of Queen Anne and had come into his family through the business dealings of a previous earl. It was a small property, which was why Leo had chosen it for our honeymoon.

  We dismounted and two grooms from Camden came down the path to take our reins. “Are the stables decent?” I asked Danny, the groom who was holding Alonzo.

  “A little old but we fixed up two grand stalls for Alonzo and Walter,” he answered in his Irish accent. “Your boy will be fine, my lady.”

  Alonzo knew Danny so I felt comfortable he would be well taken care of. As the horses were led away we turned toward the house. Two people were waiting in front of the open door, Denver, the under butler from Camden, and a plump elderly woman with rosy cheeks. She curtseyed deeply when we reached her and introduced herself as Mrs. Wilson, the housekeeper.

  The house was as pretty inside as it was outside. The front hall had beams in the roof, mellow oak paneling on the walls and a lovely carved oak staircase. We followed Mrs. Wilson up to the second floor and along a narrow hallway until she opened a door at the very end.

  “This will be your bedroom,” she said, and we followed her inside. The wood paneling in this room had been painted a rich cream and the wide planked floor was partially covered by a blue and cream rug. An embroidered spread covered the bed and a chaise longue stood in front of the fireplace. The room faced west and the sun from four tall windows was streaming in.

  I crossed to the window and looked out at the grounds. I heard Leo say, “Thank you, Mrs. Wilson. This is very nice indeed. If you will have some hot water sent up, we will be ready for dinner at seven.”

  The housekeeper assured Leo that dinner would be ready at the stipulated time and left. An odd feeling of strangeness had been creeping over me ever since we entered the bedroom. I turned from the window and said, “Where are Elisabeth and Gregory?”

  “Probably awaiting us in our dressing rooms.” He nodded toward a door on the right wall. “I believe that is yours, sweetheart.”

  “Oh.” I looked on the opposite wall and saw another door. “And that is yours?”

  “It is. I suggest we both wash up, change our clothes and go down to dinner.”

  I was anxious to see Elisabeth and went readily to the door Leo had pointed out. She was inside, sitting on a chintz-covered chair and working on her embroidery. She put it aside as I walked in, and I ran to give her a hug. I was very glad that she was with me. I loved my newly found mother, but it was Elisabeth who had been there for me after Maman died. It was Elisabeth who really knew me.

  I hugged her harder than usual and she held me close. “A little nervous?” she whispered in my ear.

  I sat in her lap. “A little,” I said in a small voice. “My life is going to change a lot, isn’t it?”

  “It is. You will not have the freedom you were accustomed to, mon ange. You will always have to take into account how your actions will reflect upon his lordship.”

  “I know.” I had known that when I accepted Leo’s proposal. But I was realizing belatedly that I was not the only person who would be affected. When we were traveling with the circus Elisabeth and I had often shared a bed. At Camden Hall she had been in the room next to mine. Where would she sleep now? What position would she have in an earl’s household?

  Elisabeth was my family as surely as Papa was my family.

  She came with me to Camden because I needed her, and she had occupied an awkward position in that aristocratic household. It hadn’t mattered so much when I thought I would be staying only six months. Now Camden would be my permanent home. Where would Elisabeth fit in?

  I said in a rush, “I have been so selfish, Lisa. I never once thought about how my marriage would affect you. Do you hate
being at Camden Hall? You’re not part of the family and you’re not a servant. I have been thinking about myself so much that I have ignored your position. I am so sorry!”

  To my horror I started to cry.

  “Stop this right now.” It was Elisabeth’s stern voice. “I like Camden Hall. I like Mrs. Adams and I like Hobbs. I don’t like the food, but I can always eat with M. Pierre and Estelle when she arrives. His lordship told me he was creating a suite of rooms for me in the old part of the house, close to your sitting room. I am to have my own bedroom, sitting room and a small dining room should I like to have guests.”

  I lifted my head from her shoulder. “He never said a word to me.”

  “He told me it should be ready by the time we get back home.” She smoothed my hair back off my forehead. “He wanted it to be a surprise.”

  Two things struck me. The first was that Leo had thought of Elisabeth and I hadn’t. The second was that she had referred to Camden Hall as home.

  “Leo is such a good man,” I said in a wavering voice.

  “He loves you, Isabel. He will always put you first. And you must do the same for him.”

  “I will,” I promised her.

  “Do you think you are ready to change your clothes now?”

  I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled at her. “Yes. I am ready.”

  A knock came upon the door that led into the passageway. I removed myself from Elisabeth’s lap and went to the door. One of the footmen from Camden was outside holding a pitcher of water.

  “Hello Willie,” I said. “How are they treating you here?”

  “Very well, my lady. There’s only a small staff. No one lives here anymore.”

  “I’m sorry you had to miss the party at Camden.”

  “That’s all right, my lady. His lordship gave us something extra for coming.”

  Naturally Leo would think of the staff.

  Elisabeth poured the hot water into the bowl and I washed up. Then she helped me into one of the new gowns she had so carefully packed. I would always think it ridiculous to get so formally dressed just to eat dinner, but this was how Leo’s people did things and I would conform. “I will see you later, Lisa,” I said as I prepared to go down to dinner.