Mary Poppins--the Complete Collection

by P. L. Travers

  “Fidelio,” answered Florimond.

  “Mother’s name?”The Law gave his pencil a careful lick.

  “Esperanza,” Veritain told him. “With a ‘Z’,” he added helpfully, for the Policeman, it seemed, was not a good speller.

  “Aunts?” enquired the Policeman again, laboriously writing.

  “Oh, we have hundreds.” Amor grinned. “Cinderella, Snow White, Badroulbador, The White Cat, Little-Two-Eyes, Baba Yaga – and, of course, the Sleeping Beauty.”

  “Sleeping Beauty,” the Policeman murmured.

  Then he looked at the words he had written and glanced up angrily.

  “You’re making a mock of the Law!” he cried. “The Sleeping Beauty wasn’t nobody’s aunt. She was somebody in a book. Now, see here! Since you boys refuse to give me h’information in h’accordance with the h’regulations, it is my duty to take that animal in charge.”

  He stepped forward resolutely.

  The Unicorn gave an angry snort and flung up his hind legs.

  “’Ands off! ’Ands off!” yelled the Park Keeper, as he flung himself across the roses and pushed the Policeman aside.

  “There ’e is, Ben!” he cried in triumph, as the Keeper of the Zoological Gardens, nervously waving his butterfly net, came tiptoeing into the Rose Garden.

  “’Orn and all – just like I told yer!” The Park Keeper reached for the silver bridle and immediately turned a back somersault.

  For the Unicorn had lowered his head and swung his horn against him.

  “E-e-eh! Oh! O-o-o-h!” The Keeper of the Zoological Gardens, with a frightened yelp, took refuge behind the Policeman.

  “Dear me, is he dangerous? Does he bite? That horn looks very sharp!”

  “It’s sharp and solid, Benjamin!” The Park Keeper ruefully rubbed his stomach.

  “He’s gentle and good,” Florimond protested. “But he isn’t used to strangers.”

  “H’m. Well, you’d better bring him along to the zoo and settle him down in a cage.”

  “A cage! Oh, no,” cried Jane and Michael, angrily stamping their feet.

  And the Unicorn, as though in agreement, drummed with his hooves on the lawn.

  “But what would he do in a cage?” asked Amor, his eyes wide with interest.

  “Do?” echoed the Keeper of the Zoological Gardens. “He’d do what the other animals do – just stand there to be looked at!”

  “Oh, he wouldn’t like that,” put in Veritain quickly. “He’s used to being quite free. Besides,” he added, smiling politely, “he belongs to us, you know!”

  “Free!” The Policeman shook his fist. “Nobody’s free to kick at the Law!”

  “Whoa there!” cried the Keeper of the Zoological Gardens.

  “I won’t whoa there!” the Policeman shouted. “I’m only doing what’s right!”

  “I was talking to him,” murmured Mr Winkle. And he pointed to the Unicorn who was dancing madly on all four feet.

  “Now then,” he cooed, “be a good little Dobbin. And we’ll get him some hay and a nice clean house next door to the Hippopotamus!”

  The Unicorn gave his tail a twitch and lashed it at Mr Winkle. It was quite clear that he had no intention of living anywhere near a hippopotamus.

  “Don’t coax ’im, Benjamin, just take ’im!” The Park Keeper gave his friend a push.

  “Oh, no! Not yet! Wait just one minute!”

  Miss Lark’s voice sounded shriller than ever as she hurried back to the scene. In one hand she held up her tattered skirt and with the other she dragged along an elderly gentleman in a newspaper hat. He was carrying a large book and a magnifying-glass and looking very bewildered.

  “So fortunate!” Miss Lark panted. “I found the Professor asleep on a bench. There now, Professor –” she flung out her hand – “Do you still say you don’t believe me?”

  “Don’t believe what?” the Professor mumbled.

  “Tch! Tch! I’ve told you a dozen times. I’ve found a Unicorn!”

  “Indeed?” The Professor fumbled in his pockets till at length he found his spectacles and fixed them on his nose.

  “Er – what was it, dear lady, I had to look at?” He seemed to have quite forgotten what he wanted his spectacles for.

  Miss Lark sighed.

  “The Unicorn!” she answered patiently.

  The Professor blinked and turned his head.

  “Well, well! Er – hum! Extraordinary!”

  He leant forward for a closer look and the Unicorn made a thrust with his head and prodded the Professor with the end of his horn.

  “You’re right!” The Professor toppled backwards. “It is – ah – hum – a Unicorn!”

  “Of course it is!” scoffed the Park Keeper. “We don’t need nobody in a paper ’at to tell us that bit o’ news.”

  The Professor took not the slightest notice. He was turning the pages of his book and waving a magnifying-glass.

  “O. P. Q. R. S. T. U. Ah, here it is! Yes. A fabulous beast. Rarely – if ever! – seen by man. Reputed to be worth a city—”

  “A city!” exclaimed the Policeman, staring. “A horse with a bit o’ bone on his head!”

  “Distinguishing marks,” the Professor gabbled. “White body, tail of similar hue, and a broad brow from which a horn—”

  “Yes, yes, Professor,” Miss Lark broke in. “We know what he looks like. You needn’t tell us. The question is – what shall we do with him?”

  “Do?” The Professor looked over the top of his glasses. “There’s only one thing to be done, madam. We must arrange to – ah – have him stuffed!”

  “Stuffed?” Miss Lark gave a little gasp. She glanced uneasily at the Unicorn and he gave her a long, reproachful stare.

  “Stuffed!” cried Jane in a horrified voice.

  “Stuffed!” echoed Michael squeakily. He could hardly bear to think of it.

  The Princes shook their golden heads. Their eyes as they gazed at the Professor were grave and full of pity.

  “Stuffed? Stuff and nonsense!” said a raucous voice, as Mr Mudge, looking redder than ever, came lumbering into the Rose Garden. “Nobody’s going to stuff an animal that might be of use to Mudge. Where is it?” he demanded loudly.

  His bulgy eyes grew bulgier still as they fell on the silver shape.

  “Well, I never!” He whistled softly. “Cleverest dodge I ever saw. Somebody’s glued a horn on a horse! My word – what a sideshow this will make! Who’s in charge of the beast?”

  “We are,” said Florimond, Veritain and Amor.

  Mr Mudge turned and surveyed the Princes.

  “Out of the Circus, I see!” He grinned. “What are you – acrobats?”

  The Princes smiled and shook their heads.

  “Well, you can come along with the nag. Those velvet jackets are just the thing. Three meals a day and oats for the horse. And I’ll bill you as Mudge’s Unicorn and his Three Servants. Hey, back up, Neddy – look what you’re doing!”

  Mr Mudge jumped sideways just in time to escape a nip from the Unicorn’s teeth.

  “Here, tighten that rein!” he shouted sharply. “Take care! He’s got a nasty temper!”

  “Oh, no, he hasn’t,” said Florimond quickly. “But he doesn’t care to be part of a sideshow.”

  “And we’re not his servants,” said Veritain.

  “It’s the other way round!” Amor added.

  “Now, I want no sauciness, my lads! Just bring him along and behave yourselves. We’ve got to get him settled down before the Fair opens.”

  The Unicorn tossed his silver mane.

  “Begging your pardon, Mr Mudge! But that Unicorn belongs to the Zoo!”

  Thump! went the Unicorn’s horn on the lawn.

  “Nonsense – er – hum!” the Professor exclaimed. “He must go with me to the British Museum. And stand – ah – hum – on a pedestal for all the world to see.”

  “The world can see him in his cage,” said Mr Winkle stubbornly.

  “At the Fa
ir, you mean!” Mr Mudge insisted. “The Only Unicorn in the World! Money back if not satisfied. Roll up! Roll up! Sixpence a look!”

  “He belongs to the Princes!” shouted Michael.

  But nobody took any notice.

  The Park was ringing with many voices. People came running from all directions, all giving different advice.

  “Get him a halter! Hobble his legs! Bind him! Hold him! Put him in chains!”

  And the Unicorn lashed out with his hooves and swung his horn around like a sword and kept them all at a distance.

  “He belongs to the Law!” the Policeman roared, raking out his baton.

  “To Mudge’s Fair!” cried Mr Mudge. “Children Half-price! Babies Free!”

  “To the Zoo!” squeaked the Keeper of the Zoological Gardens, waving his net in the air.

  “What’s going on – an accident?” Bert, the Match Man, pushed through the crowd and sauntered into the Rose Garden.

  At the sight of his calm and cheerful face, Jane gave a sigh of relief.

  “Oh, help us, please!” She ran to him. “They’re trying to take the Unicorn.”

  “The what?” said the Match Man, very surprised. He glanced at the little group by the fountain and gave a sudden start. A look of joy spread over his face as he sprang across the lawn.

  “Gently, boy, gently! Easy does it!” He seized the Unicorn by the mane and held out the apple he was munching. The Unicorn lowered his tossing head, sniffed enquiringly at the outstretched hand and then, with a sigh of satisfaction, he gobbled up the core.

  The Match Man gave him a friendly slap. Then he turned to the Princes with a loving look and, falling upon one knee, kissed Florimond’s hand.

  There was a sudden silence in the Rose Garden. Everybody stared.

  “What’s the matter with Bert?” the Park Keeper muttered. “’E must ’ave gorn mad!”

  For the Match Man had turned to Veritain and Amor and was kissing their hands too.

  “Welcome, my Princes!” he said softly. “I am happy to see you again!”

  “Princes, indeed!” the Policeman exploded. “A set of rascals, that’s what they are. I found them loitering in the Park in wrongful possession of a fabbilous animal. And I’m taking it in charge!”

  “What, that?” The Match Man glanced at the Unicorn and laughed as he shook his head. “You wouldn’t be able to catch him, Egbert. He isn’t your sort of animal. And what’s a Unicorn, anyway, compared with the three of them?”

  He turned to the Princes with outstretched arms.

  “They’ve forgotten us, Bert,” said Florimond sadly.

  “Well, you won’t forget me in a hurry,” the Policeman put in grimly. “Move away, Bert, you’re obstructing the Law. Now, bring that Unicorn along and follow me, all three!”

  “Don’t you go, lads,” urged Mr Mudge. “Just slip along to the Fair Ground and you and horsie will be treated proper.”

  “Oh, come with me, boys!” begged Mr Winkle. “If I let that Unicorn slip through my fingers, the Head Keeper will never forgive me.”

  “No!” said Veritain.

  “No!” said Amor.

  “I am sorry,” said Florimond, shaking his head. “But we cannot go with any of you.”

  “You’ll come, if I have to carry you!” The Policeman strode towards the Princes with an angry gleam in his eye.

  “Oh, please don’t touch them!” Jane cried wildly, flinging herself in his way.

  “You leave them alone!” screamed Michael, as he seized the Policeman by the leg.

  “’Ooligans!” exclaimed Mr Mudge. “I never behaved like that!”

  “Let me go, Michael!” the Policeman yelled.

  “What shocking conduct! How badly brought up!” cried voices in the crowd.

  “Professor, Professor, please do something!” Miss Lark’s voice rose above the din.

  “Such goings on!” murmured Mr Winkle. “It’s worse than the Lion House!”

  He turned in terror from the scene and knocked against a moving object that was entering the Rose Garden. A creaking wheel passed over his foot and his net became entangled with a large crimson flower.

  “Out of my way!” said Mary Poppins, as she disengaged the net from her hat. “And I’ll thank you to remember,” she added, “that I’m not a butterfly!”

  “I can see that,” said the Keeper of the Zoological Gardens, as he dragged his foot from under the wheel.

  Mary Poppins gave him an icy glare as she thrust him calmly out of her way and tripped towards the fountain.

  At the sight of her neat and dignified figure there was a moment’s silence. The crowd gave her a respectful stare. The Match Man took off his cap.

  “Good afternoon, Bert!” she said, with a bow. But the ladylike smile froze on her lips as her glance fell upon the children.

  “May I ask what you think you’re doing, Jane? And you too, Michael! Let go of that Policeman! Is this a garden or a Cannibal Island?”

  “A Cannibal Island!” cried the youngest Prince, laughing with joy as he ran towards her. “At last! At last, Mary Poppins!” he murmured, as he flung his arms round her waist.

  “Mary Poppins! Mary Poppins!” cried the elder brothers as they leapt together over the fountain and seized her kid-gloved hands.

  “Whin-n-n-e-e-e-h-o-o-o!” The Unicorn gave a happy neigh and, trotting daintily towards her, he touched his horn to her black-buttoned shoe.

  Mary Poppins’ eyes darkened.

  “Florimond! Veritain! Amor! What are you doing here?”

  “Well, the book fell open—”

  “At Jane and Michael’s story—”

  “So we just jumped into the picture. . .”

  The three Princes hung their heads as they all answered together.

  “Then you’d better jump out of it – spit-spot! You’re very naughty boys!”

  Amor gave her a loving smile.

  “And you’re a naughty girl!” he retorted. “Going away and leaving us with never a Word of Warning!”

  Michael stared. He loosed his hold on the Policeman’s leg and ran to Amor.

  “Do you know Mary Poppins?” he demanded. “And did she do that to you too?” He felt rather jealous of his friend. Would he ever be so brave, he wondered, as to call her a naughty girl?

  “Of course we know her. And she’s always doing it – coming and going Without a Word. Oh, don’t be cross with us, Mary Poppins!” Amor looked up with an impish grin. “I see you’ve got a new hat!”

  A ghost of a smile crept round her mouth, but she changed it into a sniff.

  “Your face is dirty, Amor, as usual!”

  And whipping out her lace-edged handkerchief she dabbed it quickly against his tongue, gave his cheek a vigorous rub and tucked the handkerchief into his pocket.

  “H’m. That’s more like it,” she said tartly. “Florimond, put your cap on straight. It was always on one side, I remember. And, Veritain, will you never learn? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you twice, to tie your laces with double knots. Just look at your slippers!”

  Veritain stooped to his velvet shoes and tied the straggling cords.

  “Yes – you remember, Mary Poppins!” Florimond straightened the set of his cap. “But, except for Jane and Michael and Bert, you are the only one. All they want is the Unicorn.” He pointed to the watching crowd. “And they can’t even agree about him.”

  The Unicorn nodded his silver head and his blue eye blazed with wrath.

  “Pooh!” Mary Poppins turned up her nose. “What else could you expect – from them? It’s their misfortune, Florimond. No fault of yours!”

  The Policeman blushed as red as a beetroot beneath her scornful gaze.

  “I remember my duty!” he said doggedly.

  “I remember the public’s entertainment!” Mr Mudge bristled.

  “I remember the Head Keeper!” whispered the Keeper of the Zoological Gardens.

  “Wait! I remember something else!” The Park Keeper clapped his hand
to his brow.

  “’Arf a minute – it’s coming back. I can see me old mother readin’ aloud. A silver book. And the cat by the fire. And them. . .” He flung out a hand to the Princes.

  “And them and me goin’ ’and in ’and. There was flower and fruit on the same branch and a Unycorn trottin’ through the forest. Oh, what ’as ’appened?” he cried aloud. “Me ’eart is beatin’ the way it used to! I feel like I felt when I was a boy. No Litter, no Bye-laws, no Lord Mayor, and sausages for supper. Oh, now I remember you, Mister – er – Prince. . .”

  The Park Keeper turned to Florimond. His sombre face had quite changed. It was gleaming with happiness.

  “A sooveneer!” he shouted gaily. “Something for you to remember me by!”

  And recklessly he dashed at the flower-beds and snapped off three of the largest roses.

  “I shall get into trouble, but what do I care? I’m doin’ it for you!” With a shy and humble gesture, he thrust the flowers at Florimond.

  Grave and glad were Florimond’s eyes as he touched the Park Keeper’s cheek.

  “Thank you.” He smiled. “I shall keep them always.”

  “Aw!” The Park Keeper gave an embarrassed laugh. “You can’t do that. They’ll fade, you know!”

  “Oh, no, they won’t!” cried Miss Lark suddenly. “In their country, dear Park Keeper, the roses bloom for ever.”

  She turned to the Princes eagerly, with her hands against her heart.

  “Oh, how could I have forgotten?” she murmured. “It was yesterday – or the day before! I was wearing a pinafore tied at the back—”

  “And button-boots,” put in Veritain.

  “And yellow curls with a blue ribbon,” said Amor helpfully. “She does remember!” he cried to his brothers, smiling at Miss Lark.

  “And you were everywhere!” she whispered. “Playing beside me in the sunlight, swinging with me on the garden gate. The birds in the trees were you disguised. I stepped over every ant and beetle for fear it might be one of my Princes. I meant to marry a King – I remember – or at least a Caliph’s younger son. And you three were to be always near me. And then – oh, what happened? How did I lose you? Was it really only yesterday? Where are my curls, my yellow curls? Why am I all alone in the world, except for two little dogs?”

  Andrew and Willoughby glanced up indignantly. “Except, indeed!” they seemed to say.