Panties for Sale

by York, Mattie

  “Aren’t you taking pills,” Chieko paused, “like not to get pregnant?”

  “You mean birth control? No.”

  “What?” Chieko was shocked. “But Alex, that is dangerous.”

  “Not really,” Alex argued. “Everyone wears a condom. I tried to take birth control once, but I got really bloated. I looked too fat. And I always forgot to take the pills. No, I trust my body. I already told it I didn’t want to get pregnant till I am 35.”

  “You told it?”

  “I did,” Alex nodded.

  “I hope it listens,” Chieko shook her head as she looked back out the window.

  “So, if you’re not getting your period, what’s wrong?” Alex looked at Chieko with concern. “Are you are getting sick?”

  “No, no, I don’t think so.” Even though she was more open with Alex than anyone she didn’t want to tell her that she had been bleeding for the past two weeks. It wasn’t her period. She was sure of that. It wasn’t the same kind of bleeding. It was different. And she only noticed it after she went to the bathroom. It was on the toilet paper. The blood didn’t leak out or anything. Chieko had hoped it was just a cut or something. So it would heal on its own. But it hadn’t. It wasn’t getting any worse, but it hadn’t stopped.

  “Chieko?” Alex’s voice brought her back to reality. “Are you sure you are ok? Did something bad happen?”

  “No, no,” Chieko said, lowering her head. “It’s ok.”

  “Just ok? Come on,” Alex reached over and rubbed Chieko’s shoulder trying to get her to smile. “You always have some funny story for me. How about Carl? Has he given you any more presents?” Chieko shook her head. “Or that computer guy. Tony, right? He’s hysterical. Have you seen him again?” Chieko didn’t answer. “Who did you see yesterday?”

  Chieko looked pained. “Yesterday?” she paused looking out the window. “No, not Tony. I had Tony last week.” Alex watched Chieko circle her finger around the rim of her cup. Something was really bothering her today. Something more than just a bad appointment. She looked like hell. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. And she had on a dirty t-shirt that looked like she had slept in it. She had just followed Alex in and out of the stores barely looking at anything.

  But then, in Rainbow Jeans, she had seemed possessed. She just grabbed things off the rack, handing them to the salesgirl, not even bothering to look at them. Chieko had the salesgirl bring her every style of jeans in the store to try on, and then not listening to their advice. She wanted everything tighter and sexier. Finally, she found a pair of low rise Sevens that she could barely breathe in. Just like Britney Spears, Chieko had grinned, and bought 3 pairs of the $200.00 designer jeans. One in a size smaller than she had tried on. “Then they will be extra tight,” she had laughed, “sexy, eh?” Alex hadn’t known what to say. She had never seen Chieko behave so outrageous. And now, she wasn’t even talking. Just looking out the window.

  “Tony,” Chieko looked up. “Yeah, he’s funny. Did I tell you I think he was, a, what do you call it, first time?”

  “A virgin?” asked Alex, already knowing the story, but wanting Chieko to tell it again. Maybe if she kept talking, Alex would be able to find out what was really wrong, or at least make her laugh.

  “Yes, how funny. He was so nervous,” Chieko shook her head. “But, he is really sweet. He asked me to go to Thailand with him. Can you imagine?”

  “Really,” Alex pretended to sound surprised, “that would be nice.”

  “Maybe, but he has really bad smell, in his mouth.”

  “You mean his breath? Really? Oh god, that is awful,” Alex laughed. “So what, it doesn’t matter right?” she playfully nudged Chieko, “you don’t kiss on the mouth.”

  “Yes, imagine if he was your client,” Chieko turned to Alex, “and you say you will kiss him.”

  “Shut up,” Alex laughed.

  “Ok, there was this one client,” Chieko rested her chin on her hands and sighed. “A very nice man. He was a football player.”

  “Right, I remember him, you told me. Hot, right?”

  “Yes, hot, very hot. And I kissed him.”

  “You what? I thought you…”

  “I know, but he was so hot and tall and,” Chieko leaned over to Alex, “he lifted me up against the wall. He was so strong.”

  “Nice.”

  “Yes, nice.”

  “That’s it?”

  “That’s it,” Chieko shrugged. “What can I say? He’s not mine. I am just the escort. Hello. Let’s have sex. Goodbye. You know,” Chieko sat up straight and looked at Alex “it’s not that difficult to sleep with the old men. They are really nice to me. They spoil me. They give me presents. And I can understand why they want an escort. I don’t care about them. But why do I have to go see nice young handsome men? It’s too difficult. Douglas that was his name. He didn’t need an escort. He needed a woman,” she sighed. “I don’t want to just be the escort. I want to be the woman,” she turned back to the window.

  They sat in silence, watching the constant stream of people hurrying past; businessmen with their heads down on their way to work, girlfriends out shopping for the afternoon, laughing together, their arms loaded with shopping bags. As they watched, their eyes were drawn to a young couple who had stopped right in front of the window.

  Chieko stared as the man took the girl’s face in his hands and looked down at her like she was the most enchanting person on the earth. Then he leaned forward and kissed her.

  “You know, a boy from my English class, Jay, he asked me out. You know, on a date.”

  “Really? That’s great!”

  Chieko looked up at her in surprise. “You think it’s great? But what do I say when he asks me what I do? How can I be honest with him? How can I explain why I live alone and buy so many clothes and not work?”

  “You don’t have to tell him about this. You can say you are studying. Say your parents are paying for you. You know, lots of people come over here to study English.”

  “Of course, I have to tell him. I have to be honest from the beginning.” Chieko paused, “ok, fine. I don’t tell him the truth, right now. But then, what about when he wants to get close? What if he wants to sleep with me?”

  “So, then you sleep with him.”

  “But how can I sleep with him if I love him? I sleep with all these old men, I don’t even like?”

  “It’s not the same. You said it yourself. This Jay, you like him right?” Chieko nodded. “So, you will kiss him, because he is a real person, and he is nice, and he likes you. And you like him. That will be real.”

  Chieko frowned and looked away.

  Alex sipped her tea. At least now she knew what Chieko was so upset about. But how could she help her? That was Chieko’s personal life. She had to solve that on her own. Maybe this Jay would understand. Yeah, right, who was she kidding? Of course he wouldn’t. “Hey,” Alex tried to lighten the mood, “what about Mr. Nimbin? I totally forgot to ask you about him? Did you see him again?”

  Chieko nearly choked on her tea. “Ohma! I forgot to tell you.”

  “What? What happened? Did he make you be his slave like you thought?”

  Chieko nodded. “Yes, he did. But, it was ok. Really, because,” she started giggling, “you won’t believe.”

  “What?”

  “When I went to see him, the last time, he was wearing that black leather outfit we saw at the store.”

  “Which one?”

  “You know,” Chieko scrunched up her nose, “the one with no back and a hole in the front. And, he had this vest on, but it was too small. It was hard for me not to laugh. Really he was so funny,” Chieko shook her head. “Oh, you won’t guess.”

  “What?” Alex asked. “What?”

  “Well, you know how he likes everything clean?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, when he wears his super power leather clothes”

  “Wait,” Alex interrupted, “when he wears what?”

  “That
’s what he calls it - his ‘super power leather’ clothing.”

  “Oh my god!” Alex laughed out loud. “That guy is a freak!”

  “Well,” Chieko carefully wiped the tears of laughter away before they ruined her mascara, “when he is in the leather, he likes everything dirty. When I came to the hotel, he was throwing paper on the floor. And he told me not to take off my shoes. And then,” she looked at Alex, “he made me jump up and down on the bed, naked, with my shoes on!”

  39

  Dearest Diary:

  Ok, that was a bit wild of me to think that I could quit smoking. Give me a break. I don’t think so. Not with all the shit that is going on in my life. But yes. I can cut down. Actually, I don’t need one as often. And I try to always open a window.

  I went to see Luann today. She said I am doing wonderful! She said I look wonderful. Today she balanced my chakras. She said that she could tell that I had done a lot of work with my heart chakra. I have really. Every day, I tell myself I love me in the mirror. And I do love me. It’s incredible really. Just by saying these nice things to myself, it makes other people say them too. Ok maybe I am a bit crazy. But everyone is saying that I look really good. Rested.

  Today, at Starbucks, I was talking to a young man. Can you believe it? He asked me what I was writing. I told him my journal. And we started talking. He said he started writing in a journal a few years ago and it really helped him. He didn’t think so at first, but now, he just finished writing a book. Can you imagine? What ever would I write a book about? But wow. And he said it balances him. He gets edgy if he doesn’t write every few days or so. Actually, he was really interesting. He used to be an architect. Well he still is an architect, but he travels to Africa and works there. Helping build houses. I think that’s great.

  I don’t know why everyone has to go to Africa though. Shouldn’t we let Africa heal Africa? I think we have enough that needs healing right now. Right here. But I guess, if I were Luann, I’d say anything anyone did to help is wonderful.

  And, the guy in the café, he thought I was 35. How adorable is that! No, I didn’t give him my card or ask him if he wants an escort. He just wasn’t that kind of guy. And well, it just never came up. Anyway, I wished him luck on his book. How exciting. See, that’s what Luann said. The better I feel about myself, the better type of people that I will meet. It’s true. And today, after I left the coffee shop, I gave a dollar to the man on the street. Just because. So one good deed done today.

  I have my investment meeting tomorrow. So that’s another good deed. I’ve asked all the girls to come to the meeting. And so far I think all will. Except Abby. I don’t know about her. She is avoiding me. I know that. I only get her voice mail. She’s a strong one though. Even though she doesn’t think so. She is going through the down side. That’s what I call it. It happens about this time. She’s been an escort for a few months now. And she’s worried about it.

  So much sex for nothing, at first is hard to deal with. Most girls think sex is for love, and love has nothing to do with this sex. They can do it for a while, but then they meet a cute client and they start wishing for more than it is. It happens to lots of girls. So better she sits at home for a few weeks and eats too much and watches T.V. And then she goes to the doctor and he tells her nothing is wrong. And then she starts to realize she is wasting her time, and she needs the money, so she starts working again. I understand. I mean, the new me, the helpful loving me, understands. It’s tough being an escort at first. Especially one like Abby. She is a jewel, but only because the men like to push her around. It’s got to get tough for her eventually. It’s good for her to take a break. I just hope she snaps out of it soon. Her poor clients are starting to notice her mood. And I hate having to reschedule them.

  Ok, I know, I am procrastinating. Luann said that I was doing so well. So now it was time to get to work. I thought I was already doing work? But she said no. There was more. She said it was time to get to the heart of the matter. To decide who I really was. Ha! I’m me. Angela. Yeah. She didn’t buy it. But she said that everyone has at least 3 defining moments that made them what they are today. And that’s my homework this week. To come up with those three moments. Shit. I don’t want to. God damnit. I don’t want to think about that. My life is going so well right now, I don’t want to go back to the past. Sometimes I just wish, that I could forget about all that. Pretend some of the things I’ve done were just a bad movie. A very interesting, erotic, adventure movie, but a movie. Ok. Fine. I grew up…no.. fuck this. Not today.. I don’t want to ruin my mood. I’ll think about it tomorrow.

  40

  “I can’t believe you like this,” Joseph took another sip of Alex’s tea. “It’s just like the tea my mother makes in Tunisia.”

  Alex sighed, “It’s a little piece of heaven.” Every time she breathed in the aroma of mint, lemon verbena and green tea, she felt her whole body relax. She looked across the table at Joseph and smiled. They were sitting outside, on the Starbuck’s patio on Front St, enjoying the beautiful late summer afternoon.

  It was Alex’s afternoon off. She didn’t care what Angela would say. Joseph had asked for her number and she gave it to him. She could do that. It was a free country, right? And so when he called to ask her to meet him, to spend the afternoon with him, she said yes. Hello? Of course. So what about the fee? She didn’t care about the money. It was Joseph. This went beyond money.

  “So, where was I? Oh yes, you want to know about my grandparents?”

  Alex nodded. Joseph was really starting to open up to her. She had trusted him, treated him like a real person, not just a client and he was starting to share his life with her. And really, did she ever need an excuse to enjoy listening to Joseph’s deep gorgeous voice?

  “My grandfather, was a very rough man. Is that right? He was always getting into trouble. You know, fighting and arguing. And he stole things, like a gangster. Yes, that’s the word. He was like a gangster. He was a member of something like the mafia. But, no, not the mafia, but something like this, in Tunisia, you can’t imagine.”

  “So, anyways, the story,” he winked at Alex and smiled showing the dimple she adored. “My grandfather one day was in a fight, and he was being chased by the police. Maybe he killed the guy he was fighting, I don’t know,” Joseph shrugged, “but it was bad. Very bad,” He paused to take a sip of his cappuccino. “The fight happened really late at night, or maybe I should say really early in the morning. There weren’t many places to hide at this time, because the stores weren’t open and the streets were still empty. But he had to hide because the police were looking for him. So, he hid in a temple.” Joseph looked at Alex and laughed. “He just walked in, kneeled down and pretended to pray. Can you imagine? He stayed at the temple all day. He didn’t want to go outside, in case the police or the gang was looking for him. He didn’t eat. He didn’t sleep. He forced himself to sit and pretend to pray all day. Only this way he thought he was safe. Who would hurt a man praying, yes?”

  Joseph shifted in his seat and took another sip of his cappuccino. “At the end of the day, the priest of the temple was going home to eat. He noticed this young man. He remembered he had seen him very early in the morning when he had arrived, and he had noticed that he had stayed all day. Wow, the priest thought, this man must be a very good religious man. He is praying all day. I will invite him to dinner. And so he asked and my grandfather of course, accepted the priest’s offer.”

  “Of course,” Alex laughed and shook her head.

  “Why not?” Joseph shrugged his shoulders. “My grandfather was a smart man. He knew he would be safe walking through the streets with the priest and anyways, he was very hungry. But, he went back with the priest to his house and sat down to eat dinner. At that time, the men of the house eat dinner first, the women of the house serve them. The other girls of the house would cook the meal and after the men had eaten, they would eat in the kitchen. That’s just the way it was.”

  “Ok,” he stopped to smi
le at Alex, “I know, you think different. But this is the true story. So, the women, they were supposed to stay out of sight, especially if their father had a guest. But the youngest daughter was curious and kept peeking out of the curtain at the guest. One of these times, my grandfather saw her. She took his breath away. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.” Joseph leaned over and kissed Alex on the cheek.

  Alex smiled. She loved when Joseph told her stories. His dark eyes would flash and sparkle. Of course, his stories always had a most beautiful girl, you can’t imagine, Alex laughed to herself. How did this happen? How did she meet this completely intriguing man? God, he was so sexy. She watched him in his elegant clothes, his strong hands and long fingers. It was hard for her to sit so close to him long enough to listen to his story. Her body was trembling. Every inch of her was just aching to touch him, to kiss him, to undress him and to lie naked beside him, wrapped up in his arms.

  Sighing, Alex tried to concentrate as Joseph continued. “My grandfather returned many times to the temple, almost every day. He wanted the priest to like him and think he was a good man. And each time the priest would invite him to dinner, he tried to catch a glimpse of the beautiful girl. All dinner he would hardly eat, he was so busy watching for her. She was so beautiful,” he clicked his tongue, “you can’t imagine.”

  “He decided he must marry her. He sent his mother over with presents to the priest’s house to arrange this marriage with the beautiful girl’s mother. This is how they did it then. The mothers arranged it all. The bride and the groom didn’t see each other until the wedding day. Of course, the marriage proposal was accepted and preparations for the wedding began. On the day of the wedding, my grandfather was so excited. He waited so anxious, so happy, while his new bride, in a how you say? White cover? You know, over the face?”

  “Veil?” asked Alex.

  “Yes, ok, veil. So the new bride was wearing a long veil. She walked into the temple. And everyone was so surprised. Her dress was so beautiful. She was slim and walked so gentle. Oh! She must be very beautiful, they all whispered to each other. My grandfather was so happy. You could see his teeth shining at the back of the temple. Finally, the wedding ceremony was finished and my grandfather could lift the veil and see the face of his beautiful new wife. He lifted the veil so quickly; he was so excited to see his beautiful bride and to kiss her beautiful face. But wait” Joseph paused, “who was this? She was ugly. So ugly! This wasn’t the bride he had asked for.”