Gift of Darkness: Book 3 in The Vampire Pirate Saga

by Isadora Brown

  She finally pulled away, but it seemed it was only to catch her breath—something Drew never really thought of anymore himself. He rested his forehead on hers and continued to hold her tightly, one hand behind her head, one hand on the small of her back, pressing her into him, as close as he could get her.

  "Do not ever doubt your worth, Kelia Starling," he said, his lips so close to her skin, he could almost taste the dried tears that still stained her cheeks. He was not there for her. A growl stirred in his chest, but he pushed it down. She was with him now. That was the most important thing. That and never letting her be taken from him again. "You are a strong, capable woman. You are my best friend, my closest companion. I do not know what I would do if anything happened to you and I could not be there to stop it."

  New tears sprung into her eyes and ran down her face. Not even a deluge could wipe them away. Drew released his hold on her hand and her back so he could cup her face and wipe her tears away.

  "I want to be able to stand on my own," Kelia insisted. "I don’t want to rely on anyone for assistance when I cannot provide the same in return."

  "You provide more than you will ever know," Drew said seriously. However, his words came out tinged with an urgency he didn’t mean to share. Fear coiled its bony fingers around his neck. He suddenly felt as though his time was running out, and he needed to tell Kelia everything he could get out before it was too late. "Why stand alone when I am here, when I long to stand beside you and would have no one else save you to stand beside me. We are partners, you and I. You are my equal. You’re everything I need to make me a better person. You cannot know what you mean to me, and words will never be able to tell you, but trust me at my word, Slayer, you are everything good in me. And without you, I am lost. I do, very much, rely on you."

  Kelia bit her bottom lip but nodded. Her eyes were unable to meet his. She tilted her head forward, and for a moment, he thought she would kiss him once more.

  But instead, she stepped away and headed belowdeck without looking back.

  Chapter 18

  When Kelia got to her room, it was empty. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Emma and Daniella had slinked off. They were probably picking up Drew's massive blood order. Wendy was likely out with Christopher. The crew was still on land. Which meant the room was left to her.

  It also meant that the ship was empty save for Drew.

  The only exception was two Shadows who were here to help Drew with anything he needed until their shift was up and they were replaced by two other Shadows.

  Kelia's hands shook as she paced the tiny room. Daniella had manipulated a small candelabra—resting against the wall like they were in some kind of castle and not a ship—so it was always aflame unless she, specifically, blew it out, which meant the room was lit up. Kelia appreciated that, actually. She had a tendency to run into things in the dark. And right now, Kelia could not sit still.

  Drew had just given her the best kiss of her life, not that she had much to compare it to. But she’d never heard anyone ever describe a kiss in the way she’d just experienced it. No one had ever told her the things a kiss could make someone want.

  She hadn’t expected it. Even now, she could feel the imprint of his lips on hers, could feel heat spread throughout her body, could feel her muscles weaken.

  Tears sprang to her eyes as she slowly slid down on the foot of her cot. She took her shaking hands and placed them between her thighs, hoping to force them to stop moving. Her heart pounded swiftly against her chest, and after every few beats, would palpitate. She shook her head, muttering nonsense to herself and trying to keep the tears from falling. The last thing she wanted to do was cry over a kiss. How ridiculous would that be?

  She took in a deep breath and turned to the porthole. The sea-line hit the bottom quarter of the window, so she could still make out the dark sky and the falling rain. It had yet to turn into a full storm, almost as though the sky was holding back from releasing its full range of emotions. It needed a trigger, a push, and then the rain would fall hard and with direction, like bullets fired from pistols.

  The worst part about the whole thing—or was it the best?—was Drew's insistence that she was his best friend. She didn’t know if she wanted that specific designation.

  Kelia wanted to be much more than a friend to Drew Knight. However, he was a Sea Shadow. Unless he was killed, he was destined to live forever. Kelia, on the other hand, was a human who would grow old.

  She also had these ridiculous expectations of settling down, having a family, and refusing to allow her husband to participate in an extra-marital affair, even if they were common. She didn’t think Drew could stay loyal to her, at least not romantically. And she needed that, if she was going to do things like fall in love and kiss passionately on the deck of a pirate ship.

  It didn’t matter. None of it did.

  She frowned, falling back on her cot and staring up at the wooden ceiling above.

  How could he kiss her like that, and then have the nerve to say they were merely friends? If he wanted to be her friend, he should not have kissed her in the first place. She did not know what it was like, save for that one time when she kissed him and...

  And her entire world shifted.

  The sky opened up and light poured in and she realized that Drew Knight filled her heart with his overwhelming presence. She could not simply pluck him out and remove him from her life. No, he had rooted himself in her heart like a tree into land. There was no removing him without taking a chunk of her heart with him.

  She cherished his friendship, more than she cherished any of her friends before her. Drew Knight was the friend that saw her as she was—not who she was in the past or who she could be in the future, but who she was now—and accepted her for her flaws. And she had many of those.

  Perhaps he had been caught up the same way she had been months ago when she kissed him. She could understand why he did what he did.

  From her position on the cot, she pulled one hand up and placed it on her lips. She smiled despite herself, and let herself feel the kiss once more. Her eyes closed on their own accord, and she inhaled deeply.

  When the moment was over, she stood. It was still difficult for her to move. She took in another deep breath and forced herself to walk to the door. She wanted to make things right with Drew. She had disappeared on him after he’d opened up to her. She might not have liked everything he’d said, but he’d been kind to her. She shouldn’t have walked away.

  She would go to him. Reiterate that they were best friends and she wanted to keep it that way. Drew's friendship meant a lot to her, and if she could not have him the way she wanted him, she would take his friendship without hesitation.

  Before she left, she decided it would behoove her to change her still-wet clothes. She found a worn purple tunic and black breeches. Unfortunately, her boots were the only pair she had, but she didn’t mind. She pulled them on, ignoring the damp material as the clothes cushioned her feet.

  Her hair, unfortunately, was a mess, so she undid her braid and brushed out the strands slowly, deciding to leave them down, hanging over her shoulder. She was surprised to see the wavy locks reach the middle of her breast now. Perhaps she should wear her hair down more often, as to at least come to appreciate it, instead of throwing it back.

  You're avoiding going to him, a voice in her mind pointed out. Stop wasting time and make things right. You do not want things to be awkward between the two of you, do you?

  Kelia cleared her throat and shook her head. She felt ridiculous.

  "Come on," she muttered to herself, heading for the door. "This will take no more than two minutes of your time. Everything will be fine, and you can sleep.”

  She opened the door and forced herself to walk out, even though she had no idea what she was doing and why she was so intent to do it now. The idea that she was looking for an excuse to see Drew after such a kiss did cross her mind, but she refused to entertain that notion as well.

  -
- -

  Drew hunched over his desk, inspecting the map he had stolen from Hector's ship. A bottle of rum sat on a pile of his papers, balanced perfectly on the uneven mess. It was already half-drunk, as warranted by the past forty-eight hours. He did not like to indulge—especially when alcohol rarely affected him anymore as a Sea Shadow—but because it had been sometime since his last alcoholic beverage, he could not help but feel slightly inebriated. Or perhaps that was the power of the mind, making him think something that was not actually true.

  Such as him telling Kelia Starling they were best friends. He could not believe those words had come from his mouth. Granted, they were true—she was his best friend—but she was also much more than that.

  The candles on the opposite corner of his desk flickered. He had recently shut his windows—not because the rain bothered him or because he felt particularly cold; rather, the wind tended to blow out the light and he needed to distract himself from everything that had to do with Kelia. Poring over the way that would lead him to the Queen was enough to help him stop thinking.

  For all of a few seconds.

  "Dammit," he muttered to himself. He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his face.

  He should not have kissed her so openly on his ship. Not that he regretted the kiss, but he did not know who was watching. He did not know if they would use his feelings for her against him. Which is why he had been so distant with her as of late—unless, of course, she needed his help or was acting irresponsibly foolish.

  Don't even bother lying to yourself, mate, he chided internally. You know you haven't even attempted to avoid her.

  In his defense, he did not think he had to. He had not realized some of his crew were untrustworthy curds who all wanted to please the demon bitch who had given them life.

  All Shadows on his crew had come from the Queen—perhaps not directly, but at least from another Shadow who had come from her, somewhere down the line. None were created by the East India Company. Drew preferred it that way. He was looking for Shadows who wanted to break free from their connection with the Queen. He wanted Shadows out for revenge.

  But now, he feared he’d attracted Shadows who were only there to spy. Shadows who still wanted to please her.

  He didn’t know who to trust anymore, except for Emma, Wendy, and perhaps Christopher. He still didn’t trust Daniella, but Emma did, and that counted for something.

  And Kelia, of course. He trusted Kelia with his life.

  He pushed away from the desk and started pacing. After Kelia had left him on the deck, he had stayed out in the rain to watch the horizon. Another storm would hit soon, with rain worse than what was happening now, and he wanted his order of blood on his ship before it did.

  The Shadows would trickle in, and once light hit—If the sun was granted permission to come up—he would command the ship to start for Sangre.

  He still had no idea what he would do when he got there, but he would devise a plan on the way over. Not that one could really plan for a confrontation with the Queen. How ironic that she was trying to lure him to her when he already intended to show up. Just not the way she expected.

  Right now, however, his mind would not even let him indulge in his fantasy of ridding the world of her.

  Instead, he was too preoccupied with long blonde hair and sea green eyes. He could not free himself of her no matter how hard he tried.

  He ran his fingers through his short hair. He should not be thinking about Kelia this way. At least, not yet. He did not want to hope, not when the Queen was still alive. Not when she urged her kin to steal Kelia. And after hearing what Emma said—things Kelia herself was not planning on divulging to him at all—made him all the more wary to hope for anything to happen between them. He did not want to risk her. All he could do was keep her arm's length, though even that was difficult to do.

  He cleared his throat and stepped back to the desk, trying to outline his plan of attack. Emma would have the blood here in a few hours.

  His gaze dropped to the map, and he placed a fingertip on his chin. Right now, they were four days away from Sangre. If the winds were favorable, they would reach the island in three days. However, it seemed there were Shadows in his crew that wanted nothing more than glory for their Queen. Would they sabotage his efforts?

  Probably not. If anything, they should want to make sure he reached their destination. It was in everyone’s favor for the Wraith to make it to Sangre with neigh a problem. What happened once they arrived, however, was another story.

  This island was unlike any other island before it. A powerful earth witch had created it specifically for the Queen—enchanting it so Shadows could live on land, day or night. Drew had never thought to question who had the ability to do such a thing. When he brought up the earth witch to Emma long ago, even she did not know someone with that much power. If such a thing like that was possible, he wondered if there were other protections on the island that he was unaware of. Would the Queen know if he showed up? What about a human? Surely the Shadows would be able to hear their heartbeats, smell their scent.

  The witches and Kelia would be forced to stay on the Wraith, that much was certain.

  He dropped his hand from his mouth so it slapped his thigh. Kelia would not like being left behind, especially after she expressed her fear of being useless, of being thought of as incapable because she was a human.

  To Drew, she was so much more than just a human, though. If his heart could take physical shape outside of his body, it would be her. And if his heart was gone, if she was gone, he would be the one incapable of doing anything. He could not allow anything to happen to her, even if it wounded her pride. Of course, he would explain, and if she hated him...

  If she hated him, he would endure it. Because, at least, she would still alive. She would still be breathing. And he would rather her never speak one word to him again than to have one hair on her head harmed by the Queen.

  A knock at his door startled him out of his thoughts. He jumped and nearly spilled his rum.

  He furrowed his brow. Emma was not due back just yet, and he highly doubted any of his men would risk his temper by interrupting him to ask what could only be another of their irritating questions.

  His nostrils flared, and he took in the person’s scent.

  Kelia.

  He hadn’t braced himself for that. The sudden intoxication of her aroma stunned him for a moment before he could even comprehend what it meant.

  She was knocking. But what was she doing here?

  He crossed the space in his room and opened the door, only to find her with a hesitant look on her face.

  "Come in," he insisted, stepping back to allow her passage into his room.

  "Drew," she said, her voice clipped as she stiffly walked through the door.

  A bemused smile littered his face as he closed it and she turned to face him. He stepped toward her, and she did not move back.

  "I came here to let you know that you're my best friend as well,” she said. “And I'm sorry for leaving you out on the deck. Your friendship is important to me, and I hope we can continue being friends."

  He should have been pleased with the result. He should have nodded and agreed on the best course of action. Friendship. He had been drinking and reading the map, telling himself those same words.

  Instead of following his own advice, he continued to move toward her until he was directly in front of her, invading her space so he was consumed by her scent. If he moved his head down, it would be so easy to catch her lips. Perhaps he could even place them on her racing pulse as it doubled in speed.

  "That's a shame," he murmured in a low voice. "I don't want to simply be your friend."

  Chapter 19

  Kelia was still when Drew pulled her into his arms the way he had so recently. His lips touched hers, and it was as though he woke something inside of her that had been switched off, something she didn’t realize she even had. The spark within herself was set aflame.


  Her wrists locked around his neck, pulling her to him so they were even closer than before. Her heart hammered in her chest, but instead of being afraid of the feelings that coursed through her body, they propelled her forward, urged her to explore, to indulge, to really experience what it was like. There was nowhere she needed to be, no one expecting them at any given time. Within the confine of his quarters, both of them had permission to be free.

  There was no first tentative kiss, waiting for her to get used to the sensation. The minute his lips touched hers, his hand found the back of her head and he tipped her back so his tongue could get reacquainted with her mouth, the way it had been mere moments ago. Her hands gripped his face before she reached up with one hand to run her fingers through his dark tresses. They felt like silk sheets.

  He stepped forward once, and then again, pushing Kelia back until her knees hit the back of his bed. Her legs weakened, forcing her into a sitting position on the soft mattress. Drew gently urged her back so that she was lying down as he crawled on top of her. His hands planted next to each side of her face, and he straddled her waist without placing too much of his weight on her body.

  There was nowhere for her to go. If she wanted to get away from this, she would have to get Drew off her.

  Except she didn’t want to get away from this.

  And the thought of him being in control sent a thrill through her body. She had always been the one in control. She preferred it that way because it meant responsibility would fall squarely on her shoulders. With the way Drew was positioned over her, however, the moment was completely out of her hands. And that thought made her heart race.

  He released her lips so she could breathe, only for his lips to find her jaw bone and then move down her neck. They paused over her pulse, and Kelia’s heart skipped with both excitement and fear. If Drew wanted to, he could pierce her flesh and sink his fangs into her throat. Part of her—a small, dark part of her—wanted him to do just that. She had heard how good it felt, so good it was banned, it was judged. So good the person who experienced the wicked pleasure derived from the gesture was damned to the depths of hell.