A Spectre in the Stones

by John Kitchen

  “But didn’t you hope, too, just a bit?”

  Lloyd didn’t answer for a very long time, and it wasn’t because he didn’t know what to say. It was because he was too choked. At last he nodded and said, “Yeah, deep down, and all the time I was trying not to because… well… the disappointment, it’s like… it’s like a knockout punch, isn’t that right?”

  They stared ahead of them, almost afraid to catch each other’s eyes. “We still got each other, though,” Rudi said. “And Justin. Like you said, he’ll stick by us.”

  “Sometimes I’m afraid, even with Justin,” Lloyd said. “Because – well, it’s like he’s still a kind of kid himself now, but he’ll grow up and then he isn’t going to be bothered with two kids he met in no home – no more than the rest of them.”

  “What about you and me?” Rudi said. “We’ll grow up, too, one day.”

  But Lloyd looked him full in the face then and said: “I tell you what, Rudi, man. You’re the best guy as I ever met. I know I only been here for what – a month? But I haven’t never had no friend I trusted like I trust you, and that isn’t going to change, not even when I’m a hundred, and that’s the truth.”

  Rudi sat back on the bench and he was smiling. “That’s all right, then,” he said.

  During the next few days, things began to settle into a routine. The suppressed peace of exhaustion gave way to more boisterous banter as everyone woke from deep, uninterrupted sleep each morning, and the weariness of the past wore off.

  The carers were still edgy. It was as if they hadn’t yet worked out what had happened. They couldn’t gauge the difference in behaviour and there was still the haunted look on their faces. They even kept up the surveillance and confrontation, but now the kids weren’t answering back so much, and, after a couple of days the eruptions became less frequent and less prolonged.

  Dave still brooded in his office and he still had all the malice and malevolence that made him what he was. There was the edgy sarcasm and the retention of grievances. Lloyd could see it in his eyes.

  At mealtimes he presided with the pale-eyed stare and the aggressive looks. His grudge against Lloyd, for still being there, for getting his way with the dig and the stone-laying, for managing to lay his own ineptitude bare with Craig Donovan; all these were telegraphed whenever Dave caught his eye.

  But Lloyd didn’t care.

  After the initial disappointment when Jenny and James disappeared back to London, he made a superhuman effort to readjust.

  Four more years… that was all, and then freedom – university, being up there with James, doing the things he loved, being free to travel the world. Jenny and James didn’t believe he’d do it, but he would, and so would Rudi.

  On Monday he began his extra tuition at school with Miss Webb, and other teachers noticed him too. In fact, the changes with all the Sarson Hall kids were noticed. And the whole school seemed different, as mornings dawned with skies that floated fair-weather clouds, with sunshine, the odd shower and a warmth that put spirit into the staff as well as the kids.

  Even Mrs Cherry showed signs of humanity.

  But in spite of his newfound ambition, there was still a huge hole for Lloyd. The quest was over. There was nothing to strive for and no immediate purpose, and there was still, deep down in the gut, an indefinable flatness and disappointment about Jenny and James.

  He and Rudi went in search of Justin every evening.

  They agreed not to tell him about the Appleyards. In the day’s full light, it did seem stupid to expect a passing acquaintance, no matter how amazing, to develop into anything bigger and, after a couple of days, the nagging hurt and the lack of mission melted into a kind of normality. The new mission for Lloyd was to get through the next four years… and he was just about coming to terms with it. But when they got back from school on Thursday night, it was as if someone had twisted the clock back, because, as the minibus drove onto the gravel drive, there was Christine, grim faced with her arms folded, standing on the steps.

  As soon as they got out, she yelled, “Lloyd Lewis, Rudi Singh, you’d better come with me. Dave wants you in his office.”

  He couldn’t think why they should be summoned to Dave’s office, but when they got to the door, all the feelings that, for the last few days had been repressed and repelled, suddenly exploded in his head and, for a moment, his eyes lost their focus.

  Dave was sitting with his usual smug expression and his mitred fingers, but sitting opposite him were James and Jenny.

  “Well… you two… As I said before, it seems, wherever you fall, you come up smelling of roses,” Dave said.

  “Why? What we done now?” said Lloyd. He was knocked too far sideways to remember the common courtesies; he’d barely acknowledged James and Jenny. His eyes did go towards them and he did nod, but he didn’t know why they were there, and it was as if they’d got into some kind of league with Dave because, when he said about smelling of roses, it was like they had this private-joke going.

  “Just sit down, Lloyd, and you too, Rudi, and we’ll explain,” Jenny said. “And you don’t have to do this, not if you don’t want to.”

  “No,” said James. “And there’s no pressure. You can have as much time to think about it as you want.”

  It wasn’t usually Rudi that led the charge but, this time, with Lloyd’s head still plunging around the intangibles, it had to be Rudi’s level-thinking diplomacy. “Think about what, Professor Appleyard? You haven’t said what we don’t have to do if we don’t want to.”

  James laughed and Lloyd could see he was on edge, and so was Jenny. Her cheeks were all flushed. “Sorry,” James said. “Nor have we.” He glanced at Dave and nodded. “Mr Trafford?”

  Dave leaned back in his chair and his expression was the same supercilious mask of smugness, and Lloyd’s hands began to tingle.

  “Okay, then,” he said. “Let me explain: Professor and Mrs Appleyard here seem to have taken it into their heads that you two are rather nice boys. And, for reasons, Lloyd Lewis, that entirely elude me, they would like you to leave Sarson Hall and go and live with them.”

  Lloyd’s eyes grew so wide they were stretching out of his head. “What? Sort of foster carers you mean?” he said.

  Jenny was still uneasy and her face was burning red. “Yes, to begin with,” she said. “Till you’ve got to know us better, but, eventually, we were hoping, James and I, that you might like to become our adopted sons – become part of our family. We haven’t any children of our own you see, and we’d love you to… I don’t know, become our boys.”

  Lloyd’s heart was thumping and his eyes were filling up. “You want to adopt me and Rudi? Proper like? Forever?” he said.

  “If you decide you’d like that,” said James. “Both of us have taken to you in a big way. We think you’re wonderful boys and we want to give you a home… No – that sounds like charity. What I’m trying to say is, we want you to be our kids, to love us and be our family. But we understand that’s a big step and you must have space to think about it. We’d only adopt you if you decided you wanted us as parents.”

  All Lloyd’s instincts were to rush across and throw his arms around them both, and hug every gram of life out of them, but… here, in Dave’s office – that didn’t seem right, and nothing in his life’s experience had prepared him for this. He looked at Rudi and the sight of his face said it all. He didn’t think he’d seen a grin that big in his whole life. It was bigger than Justin’s, and his eyes were dancing.

  “I reckon – me and Rudi like… we think… well, that would be great,” he gasped out. “Isn’t that right, Rudi?”

  James and Jenny were laughing, and suddenly Jenny opened her arms and he didn’t need a second invitation. He was over there, hugging her like a bear – and so was Rudi.

  Dave Trafford was lost. He just sat, staring out of his pale-blue eyes, shielded by the rimless glasses, and he was playing mitred finger against mitred finger. At last he did his throat-clearing act, to restor
e order, and Lloyd and Rudi returned to their chairs.

  “We’ve talked it through,” Dave said. “And, subject to your agreement, which, from my observation, you seem to have given… I mean, you do quite like the idea, don’t you? So, if Professor Appleyard and his wife collect you, say, on Saturday – that will give you time to pack and say your farewells here and at school. It’ll also give us time to get the paperwork and the formalities finalised. How do you feel about that?”

  Lloyd just leaned back in his chair, his head swimming and he said, “That sounds good to me, man, don’t you think, Rudi?”

  Rudi was still beaming and it looked as if he was too full to speak. He just nodded and then there were hugs all around again – well, James and Jenny hugged Lloyd and Rudi. No one hugged Dave.

  At the first opportunity they found Justin and told him.

  “I knew something was up,” he said. “Jenny and the professor were asking all kinds of questions about you – your background and everything, and I knew they were taken with you.”

  “We thought, when they went off Sunday like, that was the end,” Lloyd said.

  “And you’d like to be their kids?” said Justin.

  “Yeah, right we would. I mean, how’s this for a plan? We’ll get them to adopt you too and then you’ll be our proper brother, because we’d be dead pleased with that, wouldn’t we, Rudi? I mean, it’s like you’ve been our brother ever since we first saw you.”

  Justin was laughing. “I reckon my parents would have something to say about that,” he said, and Lloyd looked abashed.

  “I’m stupid. I’d forgotten you had parents. That’s really tough though, because… well… James and Jenny… they’d be great parents, wouldn’t they? And you haven’t got no brothers and sisters – apart from us.”

  “No,” Justin said. “And I promise, even without James and Jenny as parents, I’ll still be your brother, for as long as you want, okay?”

  “That’ll be forever,” said Rudi. “And it will be great in the autumn, when you’re up at university again.”

  Caitlin wasn’t quite so pleased.

  It was his one regret, because he’d really got close to Caitlin. “Like I said, you’re the nicest guy I ever met,” she said. They were out on the bench. And it was late Friday evening. Time was getting short.

  “It isn’t going to be the end for us, though, is it?” Lloyd said.

  “I mean, we’ll email each other and do texts and stuff, and I can get you on Skype. We’ll even see each other on that.”

  “Yeah,” said Caitlin, and this time there was no hooded restraint or concealment. “But, being together, that’s what makes it nice, and, it’s like, you can’t get close on Skype, and not with emails.”

  He caught hold of her hand and he knew, at the end of this, he was going to hold her tight, no holds barred and he was going to kiss her. “James and Jenny, man – they’re really nice people. They’ll let you come and stay weekends. I know they will. I mean, it’s like… you’re my girlfriend in a way.”

  “Am I?” she said.

  “Yeah, dead right you are,” he said, and that was it. It was the time for the hug and the kiss… and it was okay, him and Caitlin. She was a great kid.

  The rest was one massive whirlpool, totally out of Lloyd’s control – but for once it didn’t matter.

  Rudi and Lloyd opted to share a bedroom when they got to London. James and Jenny gave them the choice and James said, as they grew older, they might need more privacy, so the second bedroom would always be available.

  They had a huge Chinese meal delivered for Saturday night and it was great, even better than before, because now Lloyd didn’t have to fight his hopes. He could dream about a family life, because he’d got one. James and Jenny were going to be his family, and Rudi, and Justin – and Jenny said it was okay for Caitlin to come whenever she liked.

  That night he wrote two letters. One, a long letter, to Bill and Jean, telling them about the quest at Sarson Hall and about James and Jenny – and the other, a shorter one, to Miss Treadwell, because he knew she’d be really pleased.

  When he’d finished, he sat up and stared through the window onto a moon-swathed heath. It wasn’t the eerie moonlight of a disrupted earth that he’d seen from the windows of Sarson Hall either. This time it was the genuine flood of silver, hinting at a long and amazing summer.

  Suddenly, with a surge that welled from the depths of his belly he brought his left fist against his right palm and whispered: “Yessss!” Then he looked across at the irregular contours of Rudi’s duvet and saw a hand emerge, fingers clenched and a triumphant thumb aiming to the sky.

  And he rolled over, switched off his lamp… and fell into the deepest, most contented sleep ever.