Love's Image

by Debby Mayne

  There had to be some way to bring back the woman he’d met last night. He didn’t like the thought that something he’d said had cast a gloomy shadow over her, and he was certain she was pulling away from him because of something he’d said or done. Not being one to let things go, Judd decided to address the issue as soon as they arrived at their destination—before they went inside.

  Once in the parking lot of the Dunk ‘n Dine, Judd turned off the ignition and turned to face Shannon.

  “Okay, spill it, Shannon. I’m sure I said something that’s making you wish you’d stayed home, and I want to know what it is.”

  “No.” Once again, she didn’t look directly at him.

  “C’mon, Shannon, I’m not into playing games.”

  Suddenly, as if he’d flipped a switch, she turned, daggers shooting from her eyes. “I don’t play games,” she hissed.

  Frustration flooded Judd as he carefully pondered how to put his thoughts into words. “You can’t expect a guy like me to know what’s going on in your head unless you tell me what you’re thinking.”

  Shannon pursed her lips and studied his face before turning to look away. He could tell she was contemplating something, hopefully an explanation that would let him know where he stood with her.

  This is silly, she told herself. Just because he made a comment about my looks doesn’t mean that’s all he’s thinking about.

  “Judd, you really didn’t do anything wrong,” she said slowly. “It’s just that I’ve been ultrasensitive since the accident.” Instinctively, her hand rose to her cheek.

  He reached out and caught her wrist, freezing her movement. His touch sent an electric current up her arm, and time seemed to come to a screeching halt. She wondered if he could hear her heart pounding.

  “Shannon, I understand your feelings. If I looked like you, something like this would probably bother me, too. But you have so much more going for you, that even if you didn’t have a pretty face, you’ve got the world at your disposal.”

  Her doubts about his motives had just been squelched, at least for the moment. She turned to face him, allowing the warmth to flow between them once again.

  “Thank you, Judd. You’re a good guy.”

  He snickered. “That’s what I keep trying to tell you. I’m glad you finally believe me.”

  Once inside, Judd ordered a short stack of pancakes and encouraged Shannon to do the same. She started to tell the waitress she only wanted coffee then decided she might as well splurge. What did it matter if she put on a pound or two now that she couldn’t model?

  “I’ll have what he’s having.” Shannon stuck the plastic menu back between the napkin holder and ketchup bottle.

  “You’re full of surprises, Shannon McNab,” Judd said. “So you do eat normal food.”

  “Yeah. What did you think I ate?” She remembered what he’d said earlier. “Rabbit food is in my past.”

  “Are you gonna be okay?” he asked.

  “What are you talking about, Judd? Of course I’m gonna be okay. Why does everyone keep looking at me like they’re afraid I’m about to shatter?”

  “Maybe it’s because you have a lost look on your face,” he said softly.

  “Lost?” Shannon cleared her throat as she slammed her Bible on the table. “I think we need to change the subject. I don’t like where this is headed.”

  “I’m with you,” Judd agreed. He began flipping the pages of his workbook. “Now where were we?”

  Pointing to the workbook, Shannon asked, “Where can I get one of those? Do I have to order it?”

  “I think my uncle might have some in the storage room behind his office. I’ll ask this afternoon when he comes home.” Judd met her gaze and turned the workbook around where they could both see it. “In the meantime, I’ll share.”

  Once they got into the lesson, Shannon was surprised at how many answers Judd had left blank. “I thought you were the pastor’s nephew. You should know these things.”

  Judd tilted his head back and laughed out loud. “A lot of people are disappointed to find out how little I actually know.”

  “I didn’t say that, did I?”

  “In a roundabout way, yes, you did.”

  “You probably know more about a lot of stuff than most people.”

  Leaning forward on his elbows, Judd looked her in the eye for a long moment, giving her a rush that flustered her. “From what I’ve heard about you, Shannon, you’re a pretty smart woman yourself.”

  “What have you heard?”

  “Oh, things like you graduated at the top of your class. And you were considering going to medical school after you graduated from high school, but some modeling agency snatched you up and made you sign a contract.”

  “That’s not exactly how it happened, but close enough,” she said.

  “Wanna tell me the details?”

  Shannon narrowed her eyes. “Why would you care?”

  “That’s a good question. I don’t know why I care, but I do.”

  “Let’s see,” Shannon said. “I wasn’t at the very top of my class. I was second.”

  “Big whoop.”

  Shannon chuckled. “I had one fleeting conversation with Janie about majoring in premed in college, but I wasn’t serious about it.” She paused and sniffled. “Janie’s the only person I had this talk with, so now I know who’s got a big mouth.”

  “Cut her some slack, McNab. I called her and pounded the answers out of her. She didn’t want to talk, but I threatened bamboo torture.”

  Once again, Judd made her laugh. “Janie’s tough. She’s not afraid of anything. She must have wanted you to know, or she wouldn’t have told you. I’ll have to have a talk with her. I don’t want her blabbing my personal life all over town.”

  “Janie’s concerned about you. She’s not blabbing anything.”

  “I know it,” Shannon admitted. “But she does need to be careful.”

  “Does it bother you for me to know things about you?” he asked as he studied her face, making her squirm.

  “Well, sort of,” she admitted. “I’m not used to letting people see into my life—at least not people I don’t know very well.”

  “I can certainly understand that. I’m kind of the same way.”

  “You are?” Shannon hadn’t seen Judd Manning as a particularly guarded person, so the thought intrigued her.

  “Yes, my father was a career military man. He moved the family at the whim of a government that didn’t care much about my social life.”

  “That must have been difficult,” Shannon conceded. “Is your father in Atlanta?”

  “No, he and my mom live in Arizona, where they retired. I moved here because I always enjoyed staying with my uncle and aunt.”

  “I’ve heard some good things about them from Janie,” Shannon said. “Janie also told me you’re teaching at a Christian school.”

  “Your friend Janie is a big mouth,” Judd said.

  Shannon laughed as she saw Judd crack a smile. The waitress arrived with two plates stacked with half a dozen pancakes each.

  “Whoa!” Shannon said. “I’ve never eaten that many pancakes at one sitting in my life.”

  “You haven’t lived.” He turned to the waitress. “Do you have any of that fabulous blueberry syrup?”

  “Coming right up,” the waitress said.

  “Well?” Judd asked as Shannon chewed her first bite of buttermilk pancakes laden with blueberry syrup. “Like it?”

  “Mmm.” She stabbed another bite of pancake, stuck it in her mouth, and chewed very slowly. “This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

  “Told you.”

  “We can’t come back here, or I’ll have to get a whole new wardrobe.”

  Judd’s eyes lit up as he grinned. “Okay, we’ll go somewhere else.”

  Her simple statement gave him hope. She’d said, “We can’t come back here,” as if she might be considering spending more time with him. If she’d told him, “I can’t come
back here,” or “I don’t want to go out with you,” he wouldn’t have the hope that had quickened his heart. She’d said, “We—”

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” She put her fork down and studied him.

  “Oh, nothing. How do you like fondue?”

  “Love it.”

  “Wanna try a new fondue place that just opened on Peach-tree Street?”

  “Are you trying to make me fat?”

  He shrugged. “Quite honestly, I don’t really care. You’ll still be beautiful.”

  Her expression suddenly became guarded again as she raised her hand to her cheek. He wanted to kick himself for reminding her of her accident.

  “I am so sorry, Shannon,” he said softly as he slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I’ve been such an idiot.”

  “What?” She regarded him with a curious expression, like she thought he was nuts.

  He shook his head and looked at her, then took a sip of his coffee so he could gather his thoughts before saying something stupid again. When he finally did speak, he hoped she’d listen and not shut him out.

  “I keep opening my mouth and saying all the wrong things.”

  “What are you talking about, Judd? Make sense, okay?”

  “Let me start over.” He paused, borrowing time to run several thoughts through his mind. “Just hear me out, okay?”

  Judd started to explain how he’d spent most of his free time taking education classes while working on his master’s degree. He told her he’d dated a little, but it wasn’t easy for a middle-school English teacher to meet women, and he didn’t want to hang out in nightclubs.

  “I don’t like that either.” She gave a quick shudder. “That environment is creepy.”

  “My sentiments exactly,” he agreed and paused to give her a chance to process her thoughts before slamming her with a little-known tidbit about himself. “What I’m trying to tell you, Shannon, is that I don’t have much experience with women in a one-on-one relationship.”

  “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “Once, in eighth grade. But she jilted me when she found out Billy Bateman liked her. I haven’t been the same since.”

  To his delight, Shannon tilted her head back and belted out a laugh. “Poor Judd. But I’m surprised.”

  “Surprised?” he asked.

  “You’re a very sweet guy,” she began. “And nice-looking and fun to be with, and—”

  “Whoa!” He held his hands up. “You’re starting to embarrass me. I can’t handle all this flattery at once.”

  “Well, it’s the truth.”

  “Of course it is, but let’s not tell all of our secrets, okay? I don’t want my head to swell so big that I can’t get through the door.”

  Shannon nodded. He loved her smile, which had returned, and he wasn’t about to take any chances with another of his stupid comments.

  “I need to run a few errands this morning. We’ve made quite a dent in the lesson. Maybe we can do this again sometime.”

  “Yes, I’d like that,” she said.

  As hard as it was to take her back to her apartment, Judd managed to be stronger than his desire to spend the entire morning with Shannon. He was truthful about the errands. Uncle Garrett had asked him to take the choir robes to the cleaners, and then he needed to go to the school and meet with the parents of one of his students from last year. Shannon could have gone along with him, but too much of a good thing might wind up making her sick of him. He needed to take this nice and slow.

  Shannon jumped every time the phone rang, hoping it would be Judd. The afternoon after they’d had breakfast together, she’d opened her apartment door and practically tripped over the Bible study workbook he’d left on the stoop, with a brief note attached that it was hers to keep.

  Maybe if she spent a little time working on the lesson on her own, time would pass more quickly. But it didn’t. In fact, it dragged even slower than before.

  The days literally crawled by. Janie was working late all week, so she couldn’t call her. Mom made too much of a fuss over the accident and her scar, so she wasn’t in the mood to go to her parents’ house.

  Why wasn’t Judd calling?

  Shannon tried to reason with herself, thinking he didn’t owe her anything. They’d finished the lesson, so there really wasn’t any reason for him to call other than to chat.

  Being honest with herself, Shannon knew what she really wanted was to see Judd again. He was fun, interesting, and intelligent, which made her forget her problems.

  Maybe seeing the scar bothered him more than he let on, she thought as she studied her reflection in the mirror. Without makeup on, it was still dark pink with tiny dots on each side of the line from the stitches. With makeup, the line was still evident, but it wasn’t so bright. Since it itched like crazy from healing, she didn’t wear makeup around the apartment. The numbing ointment the doctor had given her was the only thing that soothed the itch. Cold compresses worked in the beginning when there was swelling, but now that seemed pointless.

  Finally, after four days had passed, Janie called. “Wanna go to the Bible study Monday night?”

  “Of course I want to go,” Shannon blurted.

  “I don’t want to put pressure on you, because I know how you hate that.”

  “I said I want to go,” Shannon repeated.

  “It’s just that—” Janie stopped before she squealed. “You what? Did I hear you say you wanted to go? This is so great, Shannon. Totally cool.”

  “I enjoyed it.”

  “Oh, good.” Then Janie grew quiet before adding, “Uh, we need to get you caught up on the lesson. I wouldn’t want you to feel lost just because you haven’t had a chance to prepare. Maybe Pastor Manning has some extra workbooks. I’ll call him right now and ask.”

  Shannon laughed. “That’s all taken care of, Janie. I have the workbook, and I’m up-to-date on the lesson.”

  “You are?”

  “It’s about time you stopped yammering and listened.” Shannon chuckled. “Judd dropped off a workbook last Tuesday afternoon. And since I’m still not going out much, I’ve had nothing but time to catch up.”

  “You have?”

  This was the first time Shannon had ever heard her friend at a loss for words. “Yes, I have. I’ll be able to sound halfway intelligent in the discussion Monday night.”

  “How about church tomorrow morning?” Janie asked. “Or is that pushing it?”

  “No, I’m fine with church,” Shannon replied. “Maybe I can wear a big, floppy hat so people won’t be able to see my face.”

  “Oh, no one wears hats to church anymore.”

  “I was just kidding, Janie. Lighten up, okay?”

  “Uh, okay, that’s fine.” Silence fell between them for a few seconds before Janie asked, “Since church starts at ten, want me to pick you up at nine thirty?”

  “Fine.”

  “Okay, see you then.”

  “Janie, you haven’t told me what to wear.”

  “I didn’t think you’d need to be told.”

  Shannon was embarrassed to admit she hadn’t been to church in a very long time—not since she’d gone with her parents several years ago. But now she had to.

  “It’s been a long time, Janie.”

  Again, silence.

  “Janie?”

  “Why don’t you just wear slacks and a nice top? We’re pretty casual, since we’re so small and most of the people are pretty young.”

  After she hung up, Shannon sank further down in the overstuffed chair, allowing the upholstery to envelop her. She was now reaching far out of her comfort zone, with all this church and Bible study business. But it felt right.

  Shannon still hadn’t heard from Judd since they’d gotten together for breakfast. He had mentioned going out again, so why hadn’t she heard from him?

  As much as Shannon hated to admit it, she was terribly attracted to Judd, in an odd sort of way. Although he was plea
sant to look at, there were plenty of guys around who were better-looking. What she was experiencing went way beyond the physical; it was more of a spiritual and emotional connection.

  Judd had admitted to not being a whiz at the Bible, but he was eager to learn more, just as she was, which also surprised her. For the first time in Shannon’s life, she was actually thinking about eternal life and what would happen to her soul when her earthly body wore out.