Unrequited Love

by Rebecca King

  They sat in silence for a while.

  “The man is a fool. There should be nothing a man won’t do for the woman he loves,” Ryan murmured.

  Sian studied him. “You sound as if you know that from experience.”

  She questioned the wisdom of sitting alone like this with him. If he was in love with someone else, it was wrong to expect him to have any kind of affection toward her. She didn’t want to be his second or, worse, third choice. Sian knew she wanted so much more from Ryan than being his passing fancy until someone more suitable came along. When she looked at the door, though, she couldn’t find the will to get up and leave.

  “I am just saying that there is nothing a man in love won’t do to not only capture but keep the woman he loves. However, it can make him a little stern.”

  “Stern?” Sian blinked. It wasn’t the word she expected.

  “Yes, because he will accept nothing less than the same depth of emotion from said woman in return.”

  Sian felt a shiver of delight sweep down her spine. It should have been thrilling but was tinged with a faint warning she suspected was driven by the somewhat cautious look in his eye.

  “Are you in love with someone?” she whispered.

  “Yes.”

  Sian’s heart flipped in her chest. She waited, but rather than answer her, Ryan stood up and moved over to the fireplace. He stared moodily into the flames for several moments.

  “I have been in love for several years,” he murmured thoughtfully.

  When he sucked in a breath, it was to find Sian straightening her shawl in preparation to leave. It was obvious she was upset. He heaved a sigh of relief.

  “She is a very lucky woman,” Sian whispered in a voice thick with emotion.

  Ryan opened his mouth to speak only for Hargreaves to knock and enter the room. “What is it this time?” he sighed.

  Hargreaves looked from the master of the house to the delightful guest and back again.

  “The groomsman has asked for you to call upon him, sir. There is a problem at one of the farms, and it is urgent,” Hargreaves reported.

  Ryan bit out a curse and looked apologetically at Sian.

  “It’s all right,” she assured him, doing her best to battle her tears. “I am going to bed. I hope everything is all right.”

  “It isn’t. It is far from all right,” Ryan growled.

  Rather than follow him, Ryan nodded at Hargreaves, who left the room. Once the door was closed, Ryan stalked over to Sian, swept her into a hug, and kissed her with all the emotion he had just been prevented from revealing to her. By the time he did leave the room, he was even angrier at losing the opportunity to change his future and left a somewhat dazed and confused Sian staring after him.

  When he had gone, Sian collapsed onto the nearest chaise and stared blankly into the fire while she tried to understand what had just happened. Ryan had just said he was in love with someone. Of that there could be no doubt. He had just outright said so but hadn’t told her who he was in love with. But if he was as in love as he claimed, why was he kissing her? She couldn’t be the woman he was in love with, could she? Ryan had said he had been in love for years, so it couldn’t be to her. Until recently, she had only seen him a handful of times, and even then, they had only met in passing. There was no earthly way he could have fallen in love with her.

  “He must be in love with someone else,” she whispered.

  A surge of jealousy hit her that was so strong Sian struggled to know what to do. She wanted to pack her things and leave, but then wanted to know who the lucky recipient of his adoration was. She wanted to tell her mother; ask her advice, but also wanted to mull everything over herself a little more before she discussed it with anybody and in doing so, revealed her true feelings for Ryan. Her mother would ask questions and have expectations and would be terribly disappointed if nothing came from them.

  “Mother has enough problems on her hands,” Sian whispered.

  “Hello.”

  “Oh, hello.” Sian turned to watch Norman move across the room to join her. He bowed politely before taking a seat in one of the high-backed chairs before the fire.

  “Is Ryan not here?”

  “No. He has some sort of problem at one of the farms,” Sian reported.

  Norman nodded. “Are you quite well? Have you recovered? I must say you are looking better than you did when you arrived.”

  “I am sorry for the inconvenience,” Sian replied.

  “How did you happen to fall? Can you remember how you came to miss the bluff?”

  “I can’t remember. I was standing at the top, looking out over the landscape. I was trying to calm down and gather the will to return home but when I turned around my foot slipped. I must have lost my balance. I cannot even remember falling or landing on the ledge.”

  “It is not necessarily a bad thing,” Norman smiled. “It is best you don’t remember. I take it the issues with your father haven’t been resolved yet.”

  Sian paused and lifted her brows at him. “Has Ryan told you?”

  “Ryan and I have been very good friends for many years now. We have been through thick and thin together. There is nothing I won’t tell him, and vice versa.”

  Sian nodded but sensed there was something else he was trying to tell her. “To answer your question, no, matters with my father haven’t improved. My mother has contacted my aunt to ask if we could stay with her for a while.”

  “Will you all go?”

  Sian frowned a little. “Yes, we will all go,” she replied firmly, wondering if he was telling her that she had outstayed her welcome. “I really don’t mean to bring trouble to Ryan’s door. It was very good of him to allow me to stay while I recover.”

  Norman nodded. “Ryan is a kind and generous man.” He paused and looked steadily at her. “He has a big heart. I should hate for him to be hurt because of it.”

  “I don’t want to hurt him,” Sian whispered.

  “Good,” Norman began. He knew that if he wanted to keep his friendship with Ryan, which he did, he had to tread carefully. If he said the wrong thing, he would incur Ryan’s wrath and would never be trusted again. “I should hate to see him being taken advantage of.”

  “Is that what you think I am doing? Taking advantage of him?” She didn’t need Norman to nod because the proof was written on his face.

  “Of course not. He asked you to stay and you took him up on his offer.”

  “But now that I am well, I should go home,” Sian finished for him. She was hurting inside but refused to allow Ryan’s friend to see just how much his words cut her to her soul. “Has he said anything to you about wanting us to go? I mean, he has said we are welcome to stay while we wait to hear from our aunt. We should receive a response any day now. I promise that we won’t take advantage of his kindness for any longer than absolutely necessary.”

  Norman mentally winced because he knew he had upset her. “Look, this isn’t about you staying here. It is just that people will gossip.”

  “And link us together, and frown because we are not cut from the same cloth. I know that I am not titled, or have a fortune, but I really don’t expect anything from him. As far as I am concerned, the gossips can say what they like. My mother has been in residence here while I recover. You know that. There really shouldn’t be any concern.”

  “It isn’t that,” Norman sighed.

  “Yes, I think it is,” Sian whispered, her voice trembling now with the growing force of her withheld emotion. She blinked tears out of her eyes as she stared hard at him.

  “There is more going on than you realise,” Norman snapped when he saw Sian was leaving. He stood and began to follow her.

  “Like what?”

  “Ryan has done a lot for you while you have been here,” Norman began.

  “I know, and he has my undying gratitude,” Sian replied crisply.

  “It isn’t your gratitude he wants. Like I have said, Ryan tends to be rather too generous. I should hate
to see him hurt because of it.”

  “I know he is in love with someone, and so is effectively taken. I shouldn’t ever presume to trouble him in that regard. Whatever is going on there, I can assure you that I should never once consider that Ryan would have any interest in me. I wouldn’t wish to take advantage of his big heart, generosity, or anything else. I just wish he had had the good grace to tell me he didn’t want us to stay any longer himself rather than leaving it to someone else.”

  “Look, I wasn’t inferring that you couldn’t stay. This is Ryan’s house. It is up to him to decide who is a guest. I was just saying that there is more to Ryan than you think. He is generous and loving but has a duty to preserve the family name. People know you are here, and your mother for that matter. The gossips running rife isn’t the problem.”

  “No? Because from what you have just said, Ryan has to preserve his reputation and accommodating us lowly souls is damaging that.” Sian stared at Norman and waited for him to correct her. When he merely looked as if he was choosing his next line of argument carefully, Sian hissed a breath, muttered a brief goodnight, and quietly left the room.

  Out in the hallway, she ran straight into Ryan, who was returning to the room. He instinctively cupped her elbows to stop her falling over, took one look at her face, and knew immediately that something else was wrong.

  “Sian?”

  Sian stared at him but felt such a wealth of hurt sweep through her that she couldn’t do anything more than gasp at him while her tears began to flow down her cheeks. Without uttering a word, she twisted out of his hold and raced up the stairs.

  Norman chose that moment to appear beside him. Ryan studied the room behind him and then at Sian before glaring at his friend.

  “What have you done?” he growled menacingly.

  Norman winced, and slunk back inside. With one last look at Sian, Ryan followed went after his friend.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Sian spent the remainder of that evening packing her meagre possessions into a travelling trunk. She cried, slapped things around, ordered her siblings away when they appeared to bid her goodnight, and then became deeply hurt. Eventually, she slumped down onto the end of the bed and stared blankly at the floor. She tried to find the will to pretend that nothing was wrong, especially for the next day or so, but she just couldn’t.

  “What is it, dearest?” Mabel asked her eldest when she crept into the room half an hour later.

  “I love him, mama,” Sian whispered miserably. “But got a lesson tonight in how foolish I am.”

  “You could never be foolish,” Mabel chided. “Why, there are times when I think you are wiser than me.” She took a seat on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

  “Norman told me that we have been taking advantage of Ryan and that we need to remember our place. He indicated that we don’t belong here and need to leave,” Sian whispered tearfully.

  “Where was Ryan?” Mabel stared into the fireplace and closed her eyes to hide her despair when she heard Sian’s quite sobs.

  “He was out. It was the first time I had been in a room by myself with Norman. He was a perfect gentleman but didn’t waste a moment telling me that I don’t belong here. His – Ryan’s - family name will be ruined by us being here because we aren’t of his class.”

  “Norman said that,” Mabel bit out, incensed that Ryan’s friend would have the nerve. “What ungentlemanly conduct.”

  “I just wish Ryan had told me himself. He could have hinted at it. I would have taken the hint, mama. We should have gone home with Wilhelmina like she asked,” Sian wailed.

  “But Ryan made it clear we were welcome to stay,” Mabel insisted.

  “It appears that he was only doing to because he didn’t want Wilhelmina ordering people around on his property. What do we do? I don’t think I can face him.”

  “Have you told Ryan how you feel about him?”

  “Do you think that is wise?” Sian sat upright and swiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I don’t belong in his world, Mama.”

  “If he loves you it won’t matter how poor you are, or where you come from. What matters is that you are together, and you return the love he feels for you,” Mabel assured her gently. “You have seen what happens when a husband and wife don’t love each other.”

  “But you and father used to be happy. What happened?”

  “I don’t know when everything changed, but we have been together for a long time now,” Mabel sighed. “We have changed, altered our views on life, matured as people. The family has changed now our children have grown up. Everything changes over time. Nobody can stay the same. While we were happy, now we have changed we both want different things out of life. Your father has turned into a grumpy old man who wants to live in a dictatorial household, and I want to have a bit more of a say in what happens in my home. I want to be consulted and a bit more involved. You father has no cause to object seeing as he hasn’t done such a wonderful job of looking after things by himself, but he won’t see me as anybody worth listening to.”

  “You won’t come back, will you?”

  “No. Sophia has always said that her house is too big for her. She has offered us a permanent home on many occasions and has always said that my marriage wasn’t going to last. I never believed her, but maybe she saw something was missing that I didn’t. Whatever, she is happy to accommodate us. I wrote to her because I wanted to make sure she wasn’t visiting relatives or something. It is rude to just turn up and expect someone to provide a roof over your head, isn’t it?”

  “Look at Wilhelmina. She is rude,” Sian muttered.

  “I know. Well, seeing as your father likes her so much, he can accommodate her, can’t he? I know I certainly shan’t. Not now.”

  “What do we do? Norman has made it clear that we are to leave,” Sian hissed.

  “Well, I have a little money saved up. It isn’t much but should be enough to buy us coaching tickets to Sophia’s house. We will just have to go a little earlier than planned and hope she is at home to receive us. If we all help when we get there it shouldn’t be too much inconvenience for her to make rooms up for us. Meantime, we have to pack.”

  Sian sucked in a deep breath and swiped the last of her tears away. “Why don’t I go into town first thing in the morning? I can be there by lunchtime if I set out at first light. We can be out of here by the end of tomorrow.”

  “I think that is a splendid idea. I can help Martha and Lucinda pack. But I think Martha wants to have a quiet word with Isambard while we are in town, so why don’t we all go? If we are not here for that Norman to warn, he will have to find something else to do with his time. We will be gone before he can say anything else,” Mabel confirmed.

  “Agreed.” Sian offered her mother a watery smile. “For now, I am going to bed.”

  “Don’t get too upset, my dear. Ryan is a wonderful man, but he has a duty to uphold, to the house, his reputation, the family name. He doesn’t really belong in our world either.” She patted the back of Sian’s hand and pressed a kiss to her forehead before quietly leaving the room. Her thoughts remained troubled because she knew just how much Sian adored the noble man downstairs. He, however, also appeared to adore her. That left Mabel with a huge problem: she had no idea what to do to help them.

  “I know what I saw,” Mabel muttered. “They were two people in love. So, what has gone wrong, and what do I do?”

  Being the last kind of person to pass judgement on anybody else’s relationship, Mabel suspected it was best to just get her daughters out of the area where everyone could settle down and think about what they wanted in life. If the men truly loved Sian and Martha, they would make their intentions known by not allowing distance to thwart their romantic endeavours. If neither man were heard of again, well, her daughters would find suitable suitors eventually. If not, then Sophia was going to be stuck with them all for a very long time to come.

  “What do you mean ‘she left early this morning’? Where in the D
evil’s name has she gone?” Ryan slapped his riding gloves against his thigh and glared at the nervous maid.

  “Miss Sian has gone into town, sir. To the coaching ticket office. Hargreaves offered her a carriage, sir, but she said she would prefer to walk.”

  Ryan closed his eyes and swore viciously.

  “Do you want me to go and see if I can find her?”

  Ryan whirled around and levelled a glare on Norman that warned him all was most definitely not forgiven.

  “No. I think you have done quite enough already, thank you,” Ryan bit out.

  Shaking his head in disbelief, he raced up the stairs and slammed into Sian’s bed chamber. His gaze immediately fell on a small pile of trunks. He still stalked across the room and yanked open the dresser and cursed fluidly when he saw they were empty. He knew where Sian’s belongings were.

  “Unpack them,” he ordered the upstairs maid, who came to see what all the banging was about. “Unpack all of the cases and get Hargreaves to put the trunks in the attics.”

  “Yes, sir.” The maid turned to look at the master of the house only to find herself alone in the room. Seconds later, she hurried off to find someone to help unpack the trunks.

  Ryan raced down the stairs and went in search of his horse. He barely glanced at Norman, who was leading his own horse out of the stables. Without speaking, Ryan saddled his horse and prepared to leave.

  “Look, I am sorry, all right?” Norman snapped. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I just know how much you love her and wanted to know if she cared about you, that’s all.”

  “But you made her believe she doesn’t belong here, Norman,” Ryan retorted coldly. “How could you interfere like that?”

  “You are a good friend of mine. Think about what you are doing. Do you think it wise to go haring after her like this? She has just gone to town to fetch some coaching tickets, that’s all. When she returns, maybe you can sit her down and tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t return your sentiments, let her use the tickets and go. At least you won’t ever have to see her again.”

  “I think you have stuck your nose into my business enough already, don’t you?”