Uneasy Pieces: The League, Book 4

by Declan Rhodes

  Marshall said, “I’m planning to be cremated when I go, so it’s really not important as far as us physically being in a similar place in the afterlife. It’s just that I remember the conflict all over again every time I realize that his family never leaves flowers or anything. I wonder if they ever even visit. I’ve not kept in touch.”

  I wrapped my arm around his waist and quietly said, “I think I’ll be cremated, too. Then my ghost can be free to go wherever it wants to and haunt future generations.”

  Marshall carried two bunches of flowers as we got out of the car. One was a bunch of red and white artificial flowers and the other a small spray of pink carnations. He explained, “I always bring both. The plastic flowers will stay around a lot longer, and then the real ones match the one time that we each wore a boutonniere pinned to our lapels. We went out to the Pfister on New Year’s Eve, and we got all dressed up. Neil bought pink carnations for us to wear.”

  It was about a fifty foot walk from the car to Neil’s stone. I stood and watched while Marshall arranged the plastic flowers in a metal vase that was lying beside the stone, and then he laid the carnations on the ground at the head of the grave. He squatted down beside the flowers and leaned forward to kiss the stone just above the name. I was moved nearly to tears.

  Marshall stood and joined me to the side. He wrapped an arm around me and wiped at his eyes with a tissue that he pulled from his pocket. He said, “You asked to come with me, so you’re gonna have to see me cry, Jordan. I’m never able to do this without shedding tears. That’s just the way it is.”

  His firm tone in supporting his right to show emotion caused a single tear to roll down my cheek. I said, “It’s okay, Marshall. You’re making me a little choked up, too.” I asked, “Is it okay that I’m here?”

  Marshall pulled me tighter and said, “It’s completely okay. I’m really glad you’re willing to be here. Neil was a really good guy. We didn’t have long enough to figure out what it would be like to be a couple for the long term. He got sick so early. We couldn’t get married back then. I had a really hard time even getting to see him in the hospital toward the end. We had a lot of dreams, but we didn’t get to fulfill very many of them.”

  I leaned my head on Marshall’s shoulder and said, “I remember my dad talking about the trip we would take to Disney World. We didn’t make it there before he was gone.”

  “Did you ever get to go?” asked Marshall.

  I smiled and said, “Yeah, my stepfather took us all when I was a junior in high school.”

  “Was it the same?”

  I said, “No, it wasn’t the same, and I thought about what it would have been like with my father, but I realized there was no real comparison to make. We had a lot of fun with my stepfather, and that’s what I choose to remember about it. It was just a great trip, and I got to ride a lot of rides. I went home with one of the worst sunburns of my life.”

  Marshall looked down at the stone and said, “I think I would still like to do some of the things Neil and I were going to do together, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about them yet.”

  I rubbed Marshall’s back and said, “Oh, of course, that makes sense.” I said, “Marshall, this feels really good. I’m getting good vibes. I hope it feels good to you.”

  Marshall turned to me with a slight smile on his face. He said, “I think Neil would approve.”

  Marshall drove back to my house mostly in silence. He reached out for my thigh and rubbed it while he drove. When we made the final turn toward my house, I asked, “Would you spend the night, Marshall? I’d love to spend some quality time cuddling on the couch maybe just watching TV.”

  He said, “I’d like that. I have one request.”

  As he pulled in parallel to the curb, I asked, “What is that?”

  He asked, “Can we watch at least one episode of I Love Lucy? Since we’re remembering him on his birthday, that was one of Neil’s favorites. He would laugh for hours watching it.”

  I smiled and said, “That sounds perfect. Let’s have a binge watching it. I haven’t seen the chocolate wrapping episode for years.”

  16

  Marshall

  Once I began the actual physical work, I realized that I probably should have called Billy or Jordan for help or even called both of them. I decided to move the furniture around in the living room. It was sitting in the same arrangement for years. I wasn’t really sure exactly how long. Then I woke up one morning and decided that I wanted a change.

  Unfortunately, my back didn’t want the change as much as my brain did. My back understood that it was more than forty years old while I think my mind was stuck believing that my body was at least a decade younger.

  After shoving the couch five times and realizing it only moved about five inches, I collapsed onto it instead of moving it further. I lay there for at least fifteen minutes just staring at the ceiling and getting my breath back when the phone rang.

  It was Billy. In a treacly sweet voice, he asked, “What are you up to on this beautiful morning?”

  I said, “I was trying to move furniture, but now I’m exhausted. Aren’t you at work? I thought they didn’t really like you making personal calls at work.”

  He said, “I took the day off.”

  “Are you sick? Is someone else sick? Is Becca okay?”

  Just as he said, “Don’t get all excited, Marshall. I’m doing fine,” I heard what sounded like the bark of a dog.

  I asked, “What was that, Billy?”

  “What was what?” I heard him whisper to someone or something else, “Shhh now.”

  “Who’s dog is there with you? Are you at the animal shelter with Becca?”

  Billy laughed. He said, “Wrong guess. Should I give you three guesses to see if you get it right?”

  “Did you get a dog?”

  He said, “You are a smart one, Marshall Easterling. I can’t put anything over on you.”

  “Becca convinced you to get a dog? Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

  He sighed and said, “Well, technically he belongs to Becca and me, but she kind of has her hands full at home with the Great Dane, so I guess that tells you where this puppy is going to live.”

  “You’ve got a dog!” I said it loud. “Can I come over and meet him? Or her?”

  I had no interest in owning my own dog. It worried that it would tie me to my house much more rigidly than I wanted, but I liked dogs. My grandparents always had a dog. I liked cats, too. I always had fun meeting the dogs and cats that belonged to family and friends. They usually liked me, too.

  Billy said, “Yes, you can come over to meet him if you make me one promise.”

  “A promise?” I asked.

  “Yes, a promise. I’m asking that you be willing on occasion to dog sit for me. You could do it either at your place or come over here. I would even let you bring that young kid of a boyfriend you have with you.”

  I smirked and said, “That’s very generous of you, Billy. Is it okay if I’m there in fifteen minutes?”

  He said, “We’ll be waiting for you.”

  I grabbed my keys and headed out of the house. I made sure that I had five minutes to stop by the dog shop in my neighborhood. I picked up a bag of fresh baked dog biscuits and a squeaky toy. I laughed to myself when I heard the loud squeaks of the toy. I was certain that Billy would love me for adding more noise to his household. Noisemaking toys were the best gifts for other people’s small children and pets.

  When Billy’s kitchen door opened, he was squatting down and holding firm to the collar of an adorable golden retriever puppy. Billy growled, “Shut the door, Marshall! He doesn’t know yet that he’s supposed to stay inside unless he’s on a leash.”

  I gushed, “He’s adorable, Billy. What did you name him?”

  “I wanted to name him Marshall, but Becca said that would be too confusing. The floppy ears somehow reminded me of you.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled the squeaky toy out of the bag. I drop
ped the toy to the floor, and Billy let the puppy go. He immediately grabbed the toy. Then he went bounding off to the living room leaving loud squeaky noises in his wake.

  Billy frowned and said, “You had to buy that, didn’t you?”

  I smiled brightly and said, “I’m a very good doggie uncle.”

  Billy said, “So we finally named him Ernie. It made me laugh, and Becca said it’s her brother’s middle name.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Ernie? Poor little puppy. You might need to get another one and name it Bert. It’s not my favorite name, but I guess I can get used to it.”

  Billy nodded. “Since he’s not your dog, I guess you will just have to get used to it.” He said, “Let’s head into the living room and sit for a minute. I’ll warn you. He likes laps, but he doesn’t sit anywhere for long.”

  I stepped up to the couch and gave it a light shove to try and compare with the one at my house. It moved fairly easily across the floor. I grabbed it firmly to try and make sure it didn’t go sliding a foot or more across the floor.

  “What are you doing?” asked Billy. “You said you were moving your furniture around. Mine is fine where it is. It doesn’t need to be moved.”

  I laughed and said, “I was just testing. Trying to move my couch feels like I’m pushing a truck load of cannonballs. You’ll have to help me when you come over.”

  Billy collapsed on one end of the couch and said, “I guess it’s the least I can do for my new dog sitter.”

  I sat at the opposite end and raised an eyebrow. “Just how often are you expecting to need this dog sitter?”

  Billy waved a hand in the air and said, “Oh, don’t you worry about that. I’ve got everything worked out for the next few months. It’s not too much of a commitment.” Billy brushed his hair over his shoulder and stroked his chin. “Have you told me the reason for moving your furniture?”

  I said, “I’m not really sure exactly, but I woke up this morning and just thought that different would be better. I’ve been feeling like that for the last week or so. I want to go shopping for some new clothes, and I made a short list of new kitchen stuff that I want.”

  Billy asked, “Did you talk things through about Neil with Jordan?”

  I nodded and said, “I did. He was great about it. We even went out to the cemetery together.”

  Shivering slightly, Billy said, “Cemeteries give me the creeps. No thank you.”

  I held up a hand. “Wait a second, Billy. I’m not sure I understand this. You have your motorcycle. You wear a leather jacket as often as you possibly can with skull pins decorating part of it. I’ve seen you before in serious goth makeup. Cemeteries are creepy to you? I detect a disconnect.”

  “Marshall? Do I have to give you a lesson on the difference between fashion and behavior?”

  Ernie leapt up into my lap. His entire body was quivering as I scratched behind his ear with one hand and raked the fingers of the opposite hand down his back. “So you’re saying it’s all fake?”

  Billy shook his head. He said, “It’s not fake at all, but just because I like how I look in long hair, that doesn’t mean you should make assumptions about what the rest of my life is like. I do like to stand out, but I’m a pretty normal guy. I even made cupcakes last night. I thought about my knee-jerk comment about cookies, and I decided to try baking something. Would you like one?”

  I rubbed at my belly. “I would like one, but I’m always trying to keep this under control. I’m in the age danger zone for belly development. I try to keep the sweets at bay.”

  “Someday, Marshall, you will just have to totally let go and become the happy-go-lucky slob with a round little belly that you were meant to be. It’s okay to let go once in awhile.”

  I said, “Part of that I agree with. I think that’s why I want to move the furniture and buy clothes. I’m letting things go a little bit. I don’t want to be quite so rigid. It feels good.”

  Billy said, “I have to ask one thing. Does the loosening up include about Neil?”

  I smiled confidently and said, “Yes, I think it does, and that has really surprised me. Back before I told Jordan about Neil, one of the reasons I was reluctant to say anything was because I thought it would put Neil on my mind all the time even more than he was already there.”

  “And? What happened?” asked Billy.

  I said, “It has pretty much been the opposite. I feel like I’ve let Neil go. I don’t mean his memories are completely gone, but it’s all lightened up compared with the past. I feel more like he’s looking over me now. He’s watching out for both Jordan and me instead of sitting there in the back of my head haunting everything.”

  17

  Jordan

  Marshall arranged the dinner dishes in the dishwasher and said, “Jordan, you know there is something I would like to do with you that Neil and I used to do a lot. At least I would like to do it if I’m not too old now.”

  That sort of introduction piqued my curiosity. I said, “I really doubt that you’re too old to do much of anything, Marshall. Other than riding the kiddie rides at the arcade, I think you can still do almost anything that you want to.”

  He shook his head and said, “I’m not very much into rides. I particularly have to avoid roller coasters. The last time I went to an amusement park with roller coasters, my back was not happy for the next couple of weeks.”

  I asked, “Who took you to the amusement park?”

  “Billy thought it was a good idea. We were having a good time until we rode one of those old-fashioned wooden coasters. My back hurt the rest of the evening, and then I could barely get out of bed in the morning.”

  I stepped up close to him and slid a hand into the back pocket of Marshall’s jeans. I said, “So I’m guessing what you want to do doesn’t involve roller coasters.”

  He inhaled sharply and said, “No, it doesn’t at all.”

  I kissed Marshall’s neck just below his left ear and asked, “So what is it?”

  He growled, “Damn…that gave me the shivers, Jordan.”

  I said, “Oh, I should stop. You were trying to tell me something.”

  “There’s no rush,” said Marshall.

  I laughed and pulled my hands out and then wrapped my arms around his chest. I said, “I’ll be good. What would you like to do?”

  “I was thinking about dancing in a club. Neil and I used to go all the time. You know, a real dance club with lights and thumping bass. Do they still use disco balls?”

  I found one of Marshall’s nipples and pinched it lightly throughout the cloth of his shirt. I loved the feel of his body, and the little growling moan that playing with his nipples produced. It never failed to excite me. I said, “Yes, some of them do. They have videos, too.”

  Marshall sighed and said, “They had videos in dance clubs twenty years ago, too. It wasn’t the 70s, Jordan.”

  He turned around and faced me. I said, “I would love to do that. Maybe we can go later tonight. I know a couple of good places to go. If you want to dress up just a bit, I know a good place for that, or we can just go to a couple of others in jeans and T-Shirts.”

  “Gay clubs?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, these encourage anyone to go. It’s a friendly crowd, and there is a lot of eye candy to check out.”

  Marshall said, “I would want you focused on me.”

  Leaning forward and kissing his handsome lips, I said, “You don’t need to be worried on that. My eyes would be glued to you.”

  I breathed deep my good fortune when Marshall met me at the car as I drove up to his house. He was dressed in black pants and a deep blue button-up shirt that looked like it was tailored specifically for his body. I did my best to keep up my appearance, too, and we shared a passionate kiss before heading downtown into the city night.

  When the neon lights and pounding bass met us as we stepped inside the club, Marshall smiled. He leaned in close to me and said, “It has been so long. This is perfect.”

  I aske
d, “Do you want a drink first, or do you want to hit the dance floor right away?”

  He said, “Maybe it’s a little early to dance. The floor looks sparsely populated. Let’s get drinks and then find a table where we can sit and watch.”

  We both ordered gin and tonics, and I watched as the bartender fixed his gaze on Marshall just a little longer than he did the rest of the customers.

  Marshall leaned toward me and asked, “Was that a flirt?”

  I said, “I think that might have been a flirt.”

  We clinked our glasses in a quick toast before we turned away from the bar. I sipped at the drink and looked around at the crowd. It was mostly well-dressed and young like me. I gestured with my head toward stairs that led up scaffolding that was built around the main dance floor. On the second level, comfortable seating was pushed up against the walls and a walkway all the way around the second level rail provided extra space to dance if the club got crowded.

  We found a corner away from the constantly moving neon lights and sat next to each other. Marshall wrapped an arm around me, and he kissed me before clinking the glasses once again. I asked, “Is this what you were hoping for?”

  “Well, it’s on the slick end of things. I danced at some pretty major dives when I was young. They often had the best music. They hired DJs with their own specific style, and house music was really starting to break out big. I’m convinced that sometimes I woke up the next morning with the bass still pounding away in my gut.”

  I said, “I can’t imagine you ever being more handsome than you are tonight, Marshall, but it would have been fun to see you as a really young guy.”

  He laughed and said, “Believe me, you’ve got the better model now. I had a lot of growing up to do.”

  Two songs later, Marshall took my hand in his and led me down to the main dance floor. I don’t know if anyone is perfect doing their free-form dance thing in a club, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Marshall.