Her Secret, His Son

by Linda Wisdom

  Her hands fluttered blindly over his chest and down to the taut belly and beyond. When she touched him intimately, he breathed in sharply. Eager to rediscover him physically, she continued stroking and loving him as he loved her.

  “It isn’t fair that your body has hardly changed while I have stretch marks and a few extra pounds to show for the years,” she complained.

  “If it wasn’t for my regular workouts, you wouldn’t have looked at me twice.” Jess was finding it increasingly difficult to think with Sara touching him the way she was.

  “Are you kidding? I have an idea you could be bald and have a pot belly, and I’d still look at you more than twice.”

  “Now that is love,” he chuckled, but his amusement was short-lived. Almost at the breaking point, Jess caught her mouth with his and thrust his tongue inside with a roughness that revealed his impatience and a gentleness that revealed his love. When he entered her, it was slow and careful, his eyes looking deeply into hers. His primitive half was pleased she hadn’t been with a man for a long time. Sara’s moans were music to his ears as he slowly thrust in and out. Her body arched upward to be a part of him as much as possible. Words between them were incoherent, faces flushed and lips moist and parted. Sara’s eyes widened as ripples of pleasure fanned throughout her body. She looked up into Jess’s eyes, dark with the same feelings she experienced. “I thought that kind of lovemaking was for kids,” he murmured, rolling over onto his side and cradling her in the warmth of his arms. He kissed the damp skin of her temple, trailing his lips down to the corner of her mouth and discovering her soft smile.

  “I believe we proved them wrong.” She shifted her body until her cheek rested against the damp skin of his chest. “Even though we’re all getting older.” She took a handful of her own hair and searched through it until she found the strand she wanted. “Look at this, I’m getting gray hair. Why I don’t have more, thanks to Tim, I don’t know. Pretty soon I’m going to be hunting through Clairol and L’Oreal for the best color to match mine.”

  “I wouldn’t worry if I were you,” Jess told her. “Right now we have a honeymoon to celebrate, and as we only have the room until tomorrow we should concentrate on more important things. Agreed, Mrs. Larkin?”

  “Agreed.”

  WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR THEM to return home, they felt more than a little sad at the idea of real life intruding into their private time. Sara also felt a great deal of apprehension, worrying that a certain faction of the townspeople would not accept their marriage and Jess would suffer the consequences. As if sensing her doubts, he held her hand during the flight, and with that contact she began to feel ready for anything that came their way. She was relieved she only had to wait one day to find out what would happen.

  They didn’t arrive in Henderson until late afternoon. Sara thought they should part and go to their respective homes, but he wasn’t having any of it.

  “No. We’re married now, and married people stay together,” he told her, raising her hand to his lips.

  By Sara’s direction Jess parked the Bronco behind the house, and they crept inside without being seen. Sara knew she was foolish, the news would be out soon enough, but she wanted them to have some time just for themselves. After glancing at the clock and knowing Jackson wouldn’t be back at the house for a few more hours and Tim was at his job, they retired to Sara’s bedroom to make up for lost time. Much later the glow still hadn’t left their bodies as they lay under the tumbled covers, content with kisses and stroking hands.

  “Mom?”

  “Oh, no!” Sara sat up, clutching the sheet against her as she called out, “Tim, don’t–”

  Her warning came too late as he opened the door. Seeing what looked like a compromising situation, he remained in the doorway. The expression he turned on Jess was dark and threatening.

  “You bastard,” he spat out. “What are you trying to do, ruin her even more? Get out of there, because I want to kill you.”

  “Tim, no!” Sara shouted, frustrated because she couldn’t get out of bed. She wished her robe wasn’t in her closet.

  Jess was a great deal more relaxed as he leaned over, grabbed his jeans and pulled them on.

  “There’s a lot we have to tell you, Tim,” he said calmly, standing up. “And I don’t think this is the room for us to have our discussion in.”

  He shook his head. “Oh, no, this isn’t the time to talk. You and I’ve done enough of that. Either you get out now, or I’ll kill you here.”

  Sara had never felt more frightened as she watched them leave the bedroom. As soon as she could, she grabbed her clothing and pulled it on. She ran through the house until she heard the sounds of flesh striking flesh. Crying out, she burst out the back door and found Tim pummeling Jess without his fighting back.

  “Tim, you’re making a mistake!” she cried, running over and grabbing his arm before he could strike Jess again.

  “No, I’m not. He wants to show the world you’re a whore, and you’re not!” He shook her off, forcing her to stumble to the ground before he went after Jess again in a blind rage.

  “Tim, you don’t understand the whole story. You have to listen to me, we got married yesterday,” Sara screamed, standing up ready to intervene again if need be.

  “You married this guy?” he hooted, hesitating just enough for Jess to stand back, the older man watchful. “Don’t you realize what you’ve done? All the people in town are going to laugh at you! They’ll say horrible things about you. Is that what you want? Why? Just tell me why you did it.” Pain radiated from his face, not the physical kind but the kind that hurt even more, because it came from the spirit.

  Sara sensed his sorrow and knew he felt threatened by this new piece of news. And with this realization words spilled out she later wished hadn’t been spoken. “Tim, he’s your father.” With the last word hanging in the air she felt the tension hit her like a brick wall.

  Tim’s fist froze in midair. He spun around to stare at her. It didn’t take an idiot to see she was telling the truth. He turned back to look at Jess, who was using his handkerchief to stem the blood flowing from his split lip.

  “Wait a minute.” His body quivered as he tried to take in the truth, but didn’t want to believe it. “You’re saying he’s … And that you…”

  “We knew each other in school,” she said quietly. He sliced his hand through the air to silence her. “And you married him after what he did to you back then? Mom, he left you!”

  “I told you before, I left him,” Sara explained. “He didn’t know about you until he arrived in town. I told you before, your father didn’t know where I came from. Plus there’s a great deal more to the story that we can discuss at another time when we’re all a great deal calmer. His coming here was pure coincidence.”

  “More like divine providence,” Jess murmured, unfazed when Tim swung around to glare at him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me all the truth?” he demanded of his mother. “Why did I have to find out like this?” He knew the image of seeing them in bed would stay with him for a long time.

  Sara walked over to her son, placing her hand on his arm. “Tim. Jess wanted you to know everything, but I wasn’t sure how to tell you, and I was afraid it wouldn’t go over very well with his congregation.”

  He laughed harshly, shrugging off her hand. “Oh, yeah, worry more about him than me. Now I know where I stand. Maybe you should have let Judge Carmody put me in jail, then the two of you could have done anything you wanted without me around.” His young face was lined with bitterness.

  “Tim, I want us to be a family,” Jess spoke up. “But it’s going to take some work from all of us.”

  “Tell you what, you two just start without me,” he said roughly, moving away.

  “Tim!” Sara called after him as he ran down to the gas station. A moment later she heard the sound of his motorcycle starting up and roaring away.

  “This wasn’t the way I envisioned telling him,” she murmured, leaning against Jess
when he put his arms around her and held her close. “I thought we could all sit down and discuss this in a rational manner.”

  “I won’t lie, we may have additional problems on our hands,” he said quietly. “But if we work together, we can handle them.”

  She sighed, nuzzling her face against the curve between his shoulder and throat. “I just wish I had your faith.”

  “You do have it, you just haven’t tried it out yet.”

  But Sara learned she couldn’t relax. When Jackson came up from the station, he told her Tim hadn’t said anything before taking off on his motorcycle. Jackson congratulated them on their marriage and fixed Jess with a steely eye.

  “Your marrying’ her don’t mean I have to go to church from now on, does it?” he asked gruffly.

  Jess chuckled. “No, Jackson, that’s still left up to you, although I don’t think the walls would fall down if you decided to try it out.”

  “I’ll think about it” was his decision, then he turned to Sara. “What’s for dinner?”

  She couldn’t help laughing as she realized life went on no matter what happened. That night Jess didn’t make love to Sara. Sensing her sorrow, he just held her and offered what comfort he could as she lay awake hopelessly waiting for her son’s return. When morning came, her eyes were highlighted by violet shadows. But her weariness didn’t stop her from dressing carefully for her debut as the pastor’s new wife.

  “Are you sure we couldn’t put this off for a week?” she pleaded, as they drove over to Jess’s house so he could gather up his notes for his sermon and change his clothes.

  “This is not a trip to the dentist. Sara,” he chided, noting her apprehension. “Besides, if we’re going to live together like an old married couple, I think we should begin now, or we’re going to have people believing we’re living in sin,” he teased lightly. “Sara, he’ll come around. It was a shock to him to find out the way he did, and he’s going to have to work it out his own way.”

  She nodded, but she didn’t feel as confident as he did. While Jess changed his clothes she wandered through the house, but didn’t sit down, because she couldn’t make herself feel comfortable there.

  “You wouldn’t mind living in my house?” she asked.

  “Not at all.”

  “We wouldn’t have as much privacy,” Sara warned. He grinned and dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. “That’s what locks on bedroom doors are for.”

  As they walked over to the church, Sara silently ordered the butterflies in army boots marching through her stomach to cease and desist. When he seated her in the front pew, she grabbed his hand, looking more frazzled than he expected.

  “They won’t eat you,” he assured her.

  “Oh, Jess, don’t you understand?” she cried. “I’m not afraid for me, I’m thinking of you. I don’t want them doing anything to harm you,”

  Loving her all the more for her unselfish thoughts, he quickly kissed her. He had just left her when several members entered the foyer. For the next twenty minutes Sara pasted on an unconcerned smile as members filed in looking at her quizzically. When Tess saw her she mimed frantic questions her way, but Sara merely smiled at her, pleased to finally get her own back. Tess started to rise once to walk over, but one of her sons caught her attention when he began tearing the program into shreds and showering them over his sister, who was loudly complaining.

  Sara’s composure almost broke when Mrs. Masterson fixed her with an icy glare, but she cloaked herself with Jess’s love and was able to smile back at her. The older woman’s step faltered, but she quickly regained her self-possession and sat down in her regular pew.

  “Good morning,” Jess greeted them with a warm smile. “Shall we start with singing page one hundred and ten?”

  He noticed the singing was a bit sporadic as people’s necks craned watching the blond woman sitting demurely in the front pew, the pew usually reserved for the minister’s family.

  When Jess came to the announcements, he handled the usual ones with dispatch, and then hesitated as he looked around the large chapel.

  “And now I have something very special to announce.” He smiled broadly as he held his hand out toward Sara. “Sara Murdock and I were married two days ago.” He remained silent as collective gasps and Tess’s shocked whisper “Well, I’ll be damned” flew through the room.

  Mrs. Masterson rose from her seat and looked at Jess for a full minute. “You’ve made a grave error.” She turned and walked down the aisle without looking left or right.

  Jess remained at the pulpit, staring out over the rest of the congregation to see who would leave next. He counted ten more people, all friends of Mrs. Masterson, leaving before the rest settled down.

  “I’m glad to see that so many of you have stayed,” he said. “Because that tells me you’re not judging Sara for something that was beyond her control. Now instead of giving you my usual sermon, I’m going to tell you a story!’ He looked around, keeping eye contact. “Sixteen years ago there was a young man who was considered pretty wild. And during this period of rebellion he met a girl. A very lovely and innocent girl.” His eyes rested briefly on Sara. Her returning smile was tentative, then grew stronger under the love in his gaze.

  “They fell in love and experienced something they were positive could only happen to them. But they were young and immature in many ways. The girl wanted to marry because, to her, that was the next step. Unfortunately he wasn’t ready and told her in a way that wasn’t very tactful. Harsh words followed and she left him.”

  He stared down at the pulpit, looking at the hand that was clenched into a tight fist. He took several deep breaths to relax.

  “Naturally he was angry, convinced in his youthful arrogance she would return to him. He should have known better. She wanted a stable life, and he wasn’t prepared to give her that. He didn’t know where she was from, so he told himself there wasn’t any way he could look for her. But if he had wanted to badly enough, he would have. The brash side of him wouldn’t allow it and he regretted it many times.

  “As time passed he grew even angrier, and he had a temper to equal Hades.” He smiled wryly. “And that temper landed him in a fight and eventually, in jail.” He noticed the many shocked faces before him, but also a few understanding ones. “It was there he met the man who changed his life.

  “He was the jail’s visiting minister, and while the young man called him obscene names and turned his back on him, he still never gave up on that boy. It was because of him he realized he could turn his life around and do something positive with it. The minister never allowed him to look back all the time he returned to school for his degree. By then he had found a purpose and decided his ministry would be working with troubled boys. And then after a while he felt the need to work in a church … and he was led here, to Henderson.” His voice strengthened with each word. “I was that young man, and to this day I am convinced I was led here to find Sara again … and to meet my son.”

  The silence following his announcement was deafening. Sara kept her gaze on Jess, unaware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t know when she had ever been so proud of someone as she was then.

  “Now I realize some of you can’t accept the fact that your pastor was human during one part of his life,” Jess continued. “So if you wish me to step down, I will certainly understand. I also want to tell you that I’ve come to love this town, and if it’s your wish, I want to continue my work here.”

  Leon Macintyre, a tall, lean man who acted as the church’s head deacon stood up. “Reverend, we thank you for your honesty here,” he said in a slow voice. “And I think you’ll understand that the deacons will meet right away to discuss this.”

  Jess nodded as he stepped away from the pulpit. He walked over to Sara, who immediately stood up. Other than her pale face she betrayed none of the inner agitation she felt. The couple walked slowly up the aisle to the outer doors. Sara turned to ask Jess what he felt the outcome would be when a beat-u
p old pickup raced through the parking lot and skidded to a stop in front of the open doors. Jackson looked out of the window of the truck.

  “Sara, the hospital called,” he shouted. “Tim had an accident.”

  She swayed and would have fallen if Jess hadn’t grasped her waist. “We’re on our way.”

  Sara was so numb with shock she was unaware of Jess pushing her into the Bronco and driving with excessive speed toward the small hospital.

  “Tim Murdock,” he announced to the nurse the moment they burst into the emergency room. “Where is he?”

  She looked through the records and indicated a seat for them while she paged the doctor. Sara refused to sit, instead paced the room until her family doctor appeared.

  “Sara.” He smiled briefly. “I’m afraid Tim took a pretty nasty spill off that motorcycle of his.”

  She gripped Jess’s hand tightly. “What happened?”

  “He took a side road where a couple of kids were drag racing, and he ended up in a ditch.” The doctor shook his head with disgust. “He’s got some broken bones, and I’m afraid there might be some internal bleeding, and I’m going to have to go in and take a look.” He squeezed Sara’s hand. “He’s a strong boy, Sara. I wouldn’t worry too much. Pretty soon he’ll be demanding a new motorcycle.”

  “He’s not getting his license until he’s thirty,” she announced, her voice quivering.

  “Try and take it easy. I’ll send word out when we’ve learned something.”

  Sara resumed her pacing even when Jess returned to the waiting room. Jackson, Tess and Charlie soon appeared to help keep vigil, but Sara was aware of nothing other than the thirty-two steps she took each way and the slight smell of disinfectant that assaulted her nostrils. She feared if she didn’t hear some news soon she would scream.

  “We were wrong to marry so abruptly,” she muttered. “This is all my fault. It wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t run off and married the way we did. He had two shocks in a matter of seconds, and he couldn’t handle them.”