DeBeers 04 Into the Woods

by V. C. Andrews

  One day while I was shopping for some things I needed, the Carriage sisters approached me as I was leaving the mall. They were together so much I was beginning to wonder if they were joined at the hip.

  "Oh. Grace, dear, how have you been?" Thelma asked in a syrupy sweet voice, "Brenda and I were just talking about you and your mother. We were worried."

  And we were worried about you, Mrs. Carriage. Not hearing from you for so long. I mean." I said in a voice a pound of sugar sweeter than hers.

  "Yes, well, we've been so busy with it being the season and all. What I meant was, we were worried about your mother." she corrected, her voice sharper now.

  "My mother?"

  "We heard she was being escorted by that Kirby Scott just about everywhere she goes these days." Brenda said.

  "Oh, you know Mr. Scott?" I asked her.

  "We know of him, dear," Thelma replied, pursing her lips which were so overladen with lipstick she looked as if she possessed a second set

  overlapping the first. "We do not know him. He's escorted many wealthy women in Palm Beach. I hope she's not thinking of him in any sort of serious light," she added, "He is a man of little means and. I'm afraid, little character. Any woman with means should be cautioned."

  "I'll let her know your advice," I said, still holding the smiling mask over my face.

  "I wish you would," Thelma said, not

  retreating. She pulled her shoulders back and shook them like a hen.

  "And what about you, dear?" Brenda asked. "What have you been doing with yourself? Are you in college again?"

  "Not yet. I have so much to do these days. it being the season and all." I said. "Nice to see you both and how little you bath have changed and how much you know about everyone else's business. Goodbye." I said. and walked off. leaving them looking after me. their mouths moving to bring up the words choking their throats.

  I had put on a good performance. but I was literally shaking so hard it took me a few moments to get hold of myself so I could drive my car home. If the Carriage sisters had the nerve to say all those things right to me, it was obvious people were talking about Mommy. What was Mommy doing? Why had she gotten so involved with such a man? It was one thing to have a lover but another thing to have one with whom you were proud to be seen. How did she think this was going to raise her status in the snobby social world?

  I went home prepared to argue with her about it. She had been seeing Kirby for months and months now He was certainly not, as she had told me, a distraction anymore. She had even forced me to go out with them on my birthday, a day I had hoped would be special for just the two of us. The truth was. he was there now for every unique occasion in our lives these days. Sometimes I felt he was paying mare attention to me and resting his gaze on my face more than he was on Mommy's. Twice at events I had let Mommy talk me into attending with her and Kirby, he had asked me to dance and held me so tightly I was embarrassed. One time I was sure he was sexually aroused, and it made me very nervous. He was always touching me, taking an opportunity to kiss me, and too often, if not on the lips, close to them. Mommy seemed oblivious to it all. I had tried to ignore it and buried my head in the sand. I had to bring her to her senses.

  Unfortunately, when I arrived home I could hear from their laughing voices that he was with her. I would have to wait for a better opportunity. Intending to ignore them and go up to my suite, I headed directly for the stairway, but one of the maids came hurrying out to tell me my mother wanted me to come to the den immediately. Reluctantly I did. They were both at the bar. They had music playing and were clinking glasses of champagne when I entered.

  "Grace, honey, we've been waiting for you. We swore we wouldn't open another bottle of champagne until you got home, didn't we, Kirby?"

  "Absolutely, but that was two bottles ago," he said, and they both laughed, pressed their foreheads together, and kissed.

  I thought I was going to heave up the light lunch I had just eaten.

  "I'm tired. Mommy. I'm going upstairs," I said.

  "Wait, wait!" she cried. She poured another glass of champagne and held it out toward me. "Join us in a toast. honey."

  "A toast? For what?" I asked, not moving any closer. Little bells of warning tinkled around my heart.

  She held out her hand, palm down, as a way of replying. The new diamond ring picked up the light coming through the patio doors and glittered.

  "Kirby and I are engaged," she said. But don't worry." she added quickly. "We're not going to have one of those extravagant Palm Beach weddings and put you through all of that. No, we're going off to get married. Probably to the U.S. Virgin Islands."

  I stared for a moment. When I didn't respond immediately, she pulled her hand back as if I had slapped it.

  "Well, you could say something nice, like good luck or something. Grace, instead of just standing there and staring at us."

  "Good luck," I said, turned, and ran out of the room. I pounded up the stairs as quickly as I could, their silly laughter frill of champagne bubbles resounding behind me.

  A good hour or so later I heard both of them coming up the stairs, giggling and laughing so loudly it was impossible not to hear them. I peeked out my door and saw Kirby scoop her into his arms and carry her the remainder of the way.

  "Just like Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind!" he cried, and she laughed again.

  A short while later it was very quiet in the house. I lay in my bed, sulking and thinking until I finally dozed off, but not so long afterward awoke when I heard someone knocking on my door.

  "Who is it?" I called, annoyed.

  "It's me," Kirby said. "May I speak to you for just a minute?"

  "No."

  "Please." he pleaded. "Just a minute."

  There hadn't been all that many times he and I were alone, and despite his good looks I was grateful far that. but I didn't see how I could avoid it forever, especially now.

  "What do you want?" I asked,

  He opened the door slowly and peeked in, "Hey, how are you doing-?"

  "Just peachy keen," I said.

  He nodded. He was in his shirt and pants. barefoot. His shirt was opened at the collar, and his hair was tousled. Usually his hair was perfect. He was an immaculate dresser, never appearing unkempt, even if it was just to be an appearance in front of me,

  "I know you're upset." he said.

  "Oh, do you?"

  "Yes. Your mother has brought a new man into your life and so soon."

  "You're not in my life. You're in hers." I told him.

  "Now don't be like that. Grace. Once your mother and I are married you'll be just as much a part of my life as your mother will be.'

  I wanted to say, hope not." but something made me hesitant. Perhaps it was better not to banter with him. I thought, I turned my face away, hoping he would take that as a signal and leave, but he didn't. He came farther into the room and sat at the foot of my bed.

  That took me by surprise and even made my heart pound.

  "I wish you would leave," I said. "I'm tired. and I want to get some sleep."

  "In a minute. I just want to assure you that I have your and your mother's best interests at heart. I know she has suffered some terrible disappointments in her life, and she feels very alone, very lost now I want to end that and do my best to bring back happiness. She's a wonderful person and deserves it, and so do you."

  "You make us sound like refugees," I said.

  He laughed and then looked serious again. "We're all refugees from some emotional crisis or another in our lives. Grace. I'm no exception, and in time I hope you and I can grow closer and develop enough trust to tell each other about things we really feel and really think. I know from what your mother has told me that you're going through a tough time. You're not sure what you want to do with yourself, and I want to do all I can to help you decide.. You're too talented, too intelligent, and far too beautiful to waste away, even in a place as beautiful and luxurious as Jaya del Mar." He had such a steely-ey
ed, sincere look in his eyes I had to look at him without doubt and sarcasm.

  He stood up. "That's all I wanted to say, Grace. Basically what I'm asking you to do is give me a chance. Don't base your opinion on anything but what I do and say. Okay?"

  I nodded.

  "Thanks." he said. smiling. He hesitated a moment. and I thought in that moment he was deciding whether or not to come

  to me to kiss me or something. He decided against it and just nodded and retreated, "I hope the day will come when you will call me Daddy, too. Sweet dreams," he said, and closed the door softly.

  Call him Daddy? I felt as if some creature had crawled into my heart and was tearing it away.

  Kirby Scott was in our lives. The question was for how long and how deeply.

  .

  There was a short article in the Palm Beach Shiny about Mommy's engagement and, as the journalist wrote. "Fast on its heels. elopement. The bride and groom were said to have pronounced their vows in a chapel on the U.S. Virgin Islands. Specifics are hard to come by."

  There was then a reference to Mommy being the widow of "the recently deceased Winston Montgomery."

  Most of the article was then about Winston, and toward the end there was a small mention of Kirby Scott having been married three times previously. Mommy never mentioned that to me. and I wondered if she even knew,

  Even though the article was far from flattering. Mommy had it cut out and placed in a scrapbook containing any and all other times she had been mentioned in the paper. I was astounded by how she ignored the sarcasm and the criticism and saw only something wonderful in such gossip. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her. "There are none so blind as those who will not see." something she had often said to me. but I knew she would just laugh it off or wave her hand at me and tell me I was being too serious or too silly. To her they meant the same thing now

  The week Mommy went away to elope was strange for me, especially every time I thought about why she had gone off. I suppose in the back of my mind I always believed she would marry again. After all, she was far from being an elderly widow. But I envisioned her marrying a man like Winston, someone substantial. mature. Maybe I was looking for another father figure. Maybe I had no right to decide whom she would marry again, just as I didn't want her to decide whom I would marry_ . And then there was the question of why it should be all right for a man to marry a woman so much younger than he was but not right for a woman to marry a man so much younger than she was If anyone should hate double standards, it was we women.

  Anyway, there was no question she was enjoying her holiday with Kirby. She called only once, right after they performed whatever ceremony they had planned.

  "I'm now Mrs. Kirby Scott," she announced over the phone. "Don't expect me to become Grace Scott," I said before she could even suggest it.

  "I don't expect that. Grace. I expect you to become Grace Somebody someday, but not Scott, unless you happen to meet a man as exciting as Kirby who happens to be a Scott, too. Are you all right? Anything new?"

  "Nothing's new. Mom. I'm fine. Have a good time." I said, and we hung up. I didn't hear another word from her until the day they returned, which wasn't like her. She loved calling me from hotels and from yachts whenever she and Winston were away. She knew I was surprised about not hearing from her.

  "We had such a wonderful time I lost track of time," she began when they arrived, the servants carrying their dozens and dozens of purchases up to their suite. I was sitting on the rear loggia, reading. She hurried out to me.

  "I wasn't sure you were coming home today," I said. "You never told me when to expect you."

  "I was going to call you every day. but Kirby said I baby you too much and that's why you're nottrying to move on with your life."

  "Really," I said dryly, "It's nice to have someone with so much wisdom come into our family."

  "He could be right, Grace. He is a man of some worldly experience."

  "More than Winston had?"

  "No. but Kirby has a different sort of wisdom," she insisted.

  On cue he appeared, tanned and rested, those blue eyes even bluer.

  'Grace," he said, and kissed me on the cheek before I could pull myself back. "How's our little girl?"

  "Our little girl is just fine," I said.

  "Do any sailing?" he asked with an impish twinkle in his eyes.

  "No," I said.

  "We did." he said, putting his arm around Mommy. "And we enjoyed it, didn't we. Jackie Lee?"

  "Every moment," she agreed. They kissed, and then Mommy declared she had to get upstairs and unpack.

  "I bought you three new outfits and a new bathing suit. Grace. Actually Kirby picked out the bathing suit. Came up to see everything." she urged.

  "Soon. You get started. Mommy," I told her "I want to finish something I'm reading ."

  "Okay, I will," she declared, and after kissing Kirby again, she shot into the house,

  "She's a new woman," Kirby declared, looking after her "Wait until you see. She's years younger. I can't keep up with her. You can see it in her face, can't you?"

  "Yes," I admitted reluctantly, and looked away.

  "Having someone else to care about is important. Grace. You need to develop relationships again, get yourself back into the world. Nothing will make your mother happier than to see you happy, and if she's happy. I'm happy. So you see, everything is up to you." he concluded.

  I glanced at him and looked away again, tears burning under my eyelids. I hated Mommy for bringing someone like him into our lives, opening up our most intimate selves to him.

  "I don't think her happiness is going to depend on mine." I muttered.

  "Oh, but you're wrong about that. Grace. It didn't take me long to see how big of a heart your mother has."

  "I'll bet.'

  "I mean for compassion and love for other people, not just me. How about we start anew? Let's get to know each other a little, spend more time together," he pleaded.

  I started to shake my head,

  "If you don't like me, if you're absolutely sure you can't ever get close to me. I'll leave you be, I promise," he said, raising his right hand. "All I ask is a chance to present myself as I truly am. I've knocked about a great deal. I know, but a woman like your mother doesn't come along that often. She makes me feel... substantial. She makes me want to be responsible, to care about things, and especially not be so self-centered," he continued.

  I took a deep breath. There was a time when I would have said similar things about her. I thought. Haw I wished it was all true now, too.

  "I'll bet there were occasions in your life when you wanted people to look at you one more time, to give you a chance to show them your best. Am I right?"

  "Maybe," I said.

  "Sure, it just stands to reason. Look. I know I can't be the man Winston was to you. He was much older than I am and had many, many more

  experiences."

  "And successes," I added.

  "Yes, and successes. But I'm not totally without success, especially in the social arena, and to be honest. Grace, you could benefit from some of that, couldn't you? Be honest," he urged.

  "Maybe," I said again.

  "That's okay. Nothing to be ashamed of." "I'm not ashamed of anything," I said quickly.

  "Nor should you be Exactly. Hey," he said, looking out at the sea, "you ever do any wind surfing?"

  "No." I almost smiled at the way he jumped from one subject to another. In some ways he was like a little boy, and when he was like that it wasn't easy to dislike him.

  "Someone with sailing experience would have an easier time of it. I think. I did a lot of it on Maui last summer. It's a lot of fun and exciting."

  We don't have sail boards," I said.

  "Didn't."

  "What?" He nodded in the direction he was looking. I stood up and gazed. too. Two men were bringing brand-new sail boards down to the beach.

  "I had them ordered," he explained. "What do you say first thing tomorrow
after breakfast I give you some lessons and you see if you like it. Okay?"

  He had them ordered? When did he do that? How did he know I would be at all interested in doing this? He was moving so fast, coming in and taking over our lives. It all took my breath away, but when I looked at him and I looked down at the new sail boards I couldn't help but feel some excitement.

  "Your mother will never do it, but we can show her. In a matter of hours you'll be sailing with the wind in your hair, and it's good exercise. too. How's ten A.M. sound?"

  "I don't know," I said. "I'm not sure I want to do that."

  "Well, we'll play it by ear. When you're ready we'll try it if you like. Once you start letting yourself enjoy yourself again. Grace, it will all follow. Everything you want will follow. You'll see," he s aid.

  He looked up toward his and Mommy's suite.

  You should go up and see what she bought you She was always looking for something nice for you. Even on our honeymoon you were never out of her thoughts."

  I thought a moment, feeling guilty. I started into the house,

  "And I hope you like the bathing suit," he cried. smiling. "It's hot."

  The breeze lifted his bangs. He stood back with his hands on the railing, looking like a male model ready to be photographed. He was as seductive as the devil. I thought. I really couldn't blame Mommy. In a very dark time in her life he came soaring through like a comet and brightened her skies, and yes, her face, rejuvenating her heart.

  What would he do to mine?

  17

  A Taste of What's to Come

  .

  Everything Mommy bought me was beautiful,

  and it all fit perfectly. She made me model it all, parade before her, and although she didn't come right out and say it the implication was clear: These are clothes to be worn on dates or at parties. They are not clothes to be left hanging like unpicked fruit left to rot from neglect. I did not deny I was pleased with it all. No matter how deeply I had withdrawn into my own little world. I still enjoyed looking nice, even if it was only for the sea gulls.