Coffee and Cockpits

by Jade Hart

  I looked at him. Why had he gone silent? My heart hammered. What if it was another reveal like Charlotte? I didn’t think I could stand another heartbreaking admission.

  I squeezed his fingers. “Are you going to tell me? Or wait till we’ve patrolled the entire beach?”

  His lips tugged into a half-smile. “Just trying to get my thoughts in order.”

  My heart fluttered. Why was it so hard? “Liam, this isn’t going to be another—”

  “No.” He laughed. “It’s just difficult as I haven’t told anyone. Not even Joslyn.”

  I was honoured he wanted to share something so personal, whatever it was. “Just do it quick. Blurt it out.” I kicked a wave, sending droplets raining.

  He sighed. “Okay. Here goes.” Giving me a wry smile, he said, “I want to quit Kiwi Air.”

  That was completely unexpected. “What? Why?” My eyebrows raised to my hairline.

  “I want to move away from New Zealand. I’m sick of the cold, the lacklustre weather.” He frowned, warming to his cause. “I don’t want to fight with traffic, or be told where to go. I want—”

  “But if you don’t fly, what are you going to do?”

  He blinked. “I didn’t say I was going to stop flying.” He gave me a secretive look. “I just want to quit commercial.”

  I couldn’t understand what was going on. “So…”

  He laughed. “I want to open my own airline.”

  “What?” My mouth hung open. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is? All the paper-pushing. The rules and legalities. Why do you want to do that?” I shook my head. “Flying is about freedom. Not shackling yourself with liability.”

  I squeaked as strong arms wrapped around me, plucking me from the sand. He kissed my neck. “I’m going to open my own airline somewhere hot like Tahiti. I’ve looked into it, and flying charters isn’t as hard as if I wanted to buy a bunch of Jumbos.”

  My heart sank. Here I was thinking the worst that could happen when we returned to work was dealing with the rumour mill, when in reality, Liam was going to leave. Why did he make me feel so strongly for him? How dare he do that when he knew he was leaving?

  I stiffened in his grasp. “When are you quitting?”

  He allowed my body to slink down his. “I don’t know. It’s just a dream at this point.” His eyes delved into mine, a twinge of embarrassment in their depths. “I know it sounds stupid. Probably won’t happen. Just a wish. Forget I said anything.” Letting me go, he walked ahead.

  I’d hurt his feelings. Damn. I didn’t mean to, it was just all so… sudden. My own mind churned with what it meant. I let him go, trying to unscramble my thoughts. What exactly just happened?

  I followed, but a few paces behind.

  A few moments later, Liam spun around. “I’m sorry. I’ve never told anyone, it kinda came out wrong. I did tell you for a reason. I didn’t tell you to hurt you.” He sighed. “Can I start again?”

  My chest ached at the thought of him leaving, but I nodded.

  He looked at the moon. “I’m sick of life telling me who I should be; how I should act. Ever since losing Charlotte I know how precious life is, and I want to do something I love. Something that I’ll look back on when life is at an end and say, ‘I’m proud and happy’. Not slog through shift work and never do what I want.” He waved his arms, encompassing the beach. “This is what life is about: enjoying the special places on earth.” He came forward, stopping a breath away. “This is what life is about. You and me. Emotion. Connection.”

  My eyes tightened. “Then why make me fall in love with you and leave?” My heart raced. Oh God, I was so stupid. He was telling me this for a reason.

  The rush of knowledge tingled my blood as he took my hands gently. “I knew you from afar and I was already half in love with you before we arrived in Samoa, but something is pushing us together. Something beyond our control. How else do you explain the overwhelming knowledge we belong together.” He stiffened, adding, “I know that sounds crazy and frankly scary when we’ve only had a few days together, but it feels like years. I’ve never felt so sure of anything before. I’m not going to pack up and quit, not after what I feel for you. For the first time ever, I’m enjoying living. I don’t suffocate with how unfair the world is that I’m still here and Charlotte isn’t. Thanks to you, I’m not berating myself every moment for being able to fly, when she’s six feet under in a coffin. You freed me, Nina.”

  My stomach clenched, taking in his passion. The Samoan evening cocooned us in heat and a smidgen of panic filled me. He carried all of that around inside? How did he think I’d freed him? I’d done nothing but fall in love. It was a huge responsibility to be such a poignant person in his life.

  Swallowing my thoughts, I touched his cheek. “I’m happy you’re healing, but it’s not me who helped. By talking with Nikolai you’re finally able to move on. It’s what you should’ve done many years ago.”

  He shook his head, running hands in his hair, glistening with moonshine. “You aren’t listening. The crash. Samoa. It’s all like it was meant to happen to let me face my issues. I know I’m being way too forward and should wait to see how our future pans out before telling you my dream, but time feels borrowed. Like any moment I’m going to wake up and none of this will be real.”

  He sucked in a breath before finishing, “I want to open my own airline in Tahiti. And I can’t do it alone.”

  My heart jumped into a gallop. Was he going where I thought he was?

  “I want someone by my side to help with the running, the flying. To live in paradise and enjoy life in a different way. To be free. Together.”

  My palms pooled with sweat. I loved him, but this… this was too much. Too soon. It didn’t matter that my feelings for him were as strong, it was too soon. Everyone would think we were nuts—that our relationship was doomed to fail just like the drunken Las Vegas weddings between strangers. I couldn’t change my life so suddenly. I needed time to think. Plan. Make sure what was between us was true, and not just an intense infatuation. “Liam. I—”

  He gathered my hands. “Nina, life is too short not to try. I know that now, and I don’t intend to waste another moment not doing what I’ve wanted to do since my wings were pinned to my blazer. I’m asking you to invest in us. Invest in a future that could be anything we wanted.” He swallowed and the sincerity in his voice buckled me. “Would you come with me? Would you be my co-pilot?”

  My heart bolted with a herd of wildebeest, waiting, almost in pain, for Nina’s answer. Had I gone too far? Shit, I came on too strong. I’d spilled everything. No filter—I’d verbalized things I should probably have kept to myself. Oh fuck. Would she laugh at my stupid ambition, and refuse to be a part of it? Would she run from me and my insane reaction to her? Even I questioned why I felt so strongly. I wasn’t lying when I said it seemed as if something pushed us together. I had no choice but to be swept along in the torrent of feelings. If it was the island doing strange things to me, then so be it, but I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.

  Her face was a picture of stunned disbelief. “You want me to come and work for you?”

  I shook my head. “Not work for me. With me. Be a joint partner.”

  She sucked in a breath.

  My lungs stuck together. If she said no, I had no clue how I’d live through the shame. Not only would she be saying no to my offer, she’d be saying no to me.

  “I can’t. I’m not a commercial pilot. I can’t carry passengers.” She paced away, staring at the moon. “I don’t know what to make of all of this. It all seems so far-fetched. You need an exorbitant amount of money to open an airline. How do you plan to do it? Why me? Why tell me now?” She sighed. “I literally can’t fathom it. Would you rent aircraft or buy? Which airport will you operate out of? Will you hire more staff, or just have a small number of charters?”

  She kept mumbling under her breath about plans and forecasts. Things I’d already thought about. I had folders fu
ll of information; reams of info on the French Polynesian law and visa requirements. I even had a guy willing to gift me three propeller aircrafts in return for fifteen percent of the profit for the first six years. I’d had everything worked out for years. The reason why I hadn’t gone any further was because I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted to do it with the woman I would share my life with. Share my business with. Share everything with.

  Nina turned to me. “You’re joking. You can’t be serious.”

  I approached her slowly. “I’m deadly serious.”

  She shook her head. “Well, let’s think logically for a moment. “I can’t quit. I have about four years left before I have enough money to finish my exams. I doubt you want to wait that long.”

  I took her arms in my hands, rubbing her—she had goosebumps. “I’d be willing to wait, but I don’t have to. You can quit Kiwi Air. I’ll pay for you to finish your commercial license.”

  She looked at me as if I were crazy. “I’m not going to let you pay for my license. Are you nuts? That’s like fifty grand!”

  I laughed at her fierceness. “It would be a company expenditure. I can claim it back. It’s not that big of a deal.” But the way her pupils dilated and her skin grew clammy, it was a big deal. Nervousness filled me. I knew I shouldn’t have told her. It was too soon. Fuck.

  “It is that big of a deal. Crap, Liam. It’s huge. You’re asking me to run a business with you. You’ll pay for my license. You want me to move across the world with you?”

  Her chest rose and fell fast, and I struggled not to crush her to me, to stem her doubts with physical intimacy. If she even let me touch her again, of course. Shit, I ruined everything.

  “I don’t know how to process this. We barely know each other. I’m falling for you. Hard. But we need time. I need more time!” She lost it, running hands through her hair, looking at me frantic.

  I held up my hands. “I’m sorry.” My heart deflated into a useless sack of hopelessness. It was over. I’d taken our unbelievable tryst in Samoa and made her fear it. “I shouldn’t have told you.” This was what I was afraid of. People thinking I was a moron for wanting something different than the white picket fence and a mortgage. I wanted island living permanently. I wanted what we’d had the last week. Forever.

  Nina’s blue eyes blazed in the dark. “I need to go. I need to think.”

  “No wait.” I captured her, holding as she struggled. “You’re right. It is too soon. I’m sorry for bringing it up. Can we just forget I said anything?”

  Her eyelashes fluttered as she breathed hard. Her hand whipped to her neck, pain etching her face. “Let me go, Liam. I need some space.”

  I refused to obey. If I let her go she might not let me capture her again. “Look it’s just a dream okay? A crazy adolescent dream. It doesn’t mean anything. I’m sorry if I rushed you.”

  Nina shuddered in my arms, her eyes snapping closed as she sucked in a gust of air. “I’m not feeling so good.” Her face paled as white as the sand, and she moaned as her spine arched in my grip.

  Oh my God, what the hell was happening? Had I frightened her so much she’d gone into a seizure? My hands tingled where they held her. “Nina?! Are you alright?”

  Her legs buckled and if I hadn’t of been holding her, she’d have folded to the ground. Heart thundering, I lowered her weight to rest on the soft beach. My eyes scanned the night horizon, hoping to see shadows of holidaymakers. Nothing. We were all alone and I had no clue what was wrong with her.

  Nina clasped two hands to her neck, crying out.

  My heart bucked, hating her being in pain. What could I do? We weren’t far from the hotel, but I didn’t want to leave her alone. Perhaps I could carry her? But if it were spine related, I might make her worse by moving her. Shit! Please let her be okay!

  Brushing hair from her eyes with shaky fingers, I asked, “Hush, I’m here. What hurts? Tell me how to help.” I hoped my voice was calm and collected, not betraying my panic.

  She flinched, jerking into a ball. Her face screwed up in agony as her legs twitched. Tears leaked from her eyes. “It hurts. Oh God, it hurts. Make it stop.”

  Oh fuck, what should I do?

  Her body bucked again under my touch—hard, electric, breaking my hold on her. It was as if someone behind the scenes jerked her around like a puppet.

  She called my name, her lip bleeding where she’d bitten it.

  I stood and paced around her, trying to recall some sort of medical training. Her twisting figure covered in sand granules caused a gushing headache to slam into me. Concern for her setting fire to my old injuries from the crash. My shoulders ached, and my solar plexus griped as if someone punched me.

  I doubled over, gripping my temple, crashing to my knees beside Nina. The waves roared like a tsunami and the entire beach faded to white, before shadows of the night reclaimed it.

  Blinking past the fog of agony, I focused on her. I had to do something. Anything. Did something bite her? Was it an allergic reaction?

  Unable to stand seeing her in so much pain, I crawled over, battling my own issues and pulling her into my lap.

  Her eyes connected with mine. “Something isn’t righ—” Her lips spread wide as a mind-bending scream erupted from her.

  “Nina!” A wave of terror crippled me as her back arched inhumanly in my arms. Static electricity flowed between us, sending hair follicles into a standstill.

  My own body twitched and I dropped her. The beach once again warped and bent, sending my eyesight stuttering, not able to focus on anything.

  I reached for her sprawled form on the sand. “Nina!”

  Another slam of migraine hit me and I cried out, dragging myself upright to look into her eyes. She’d be okay and whatever happened to us would leave. It was just some weird occurrence, we’d be fine. Even as I said it, I didn’t believe it.

  I reached out and tilted her jaw to see her eyes.

  My heart stopped. My life stopped.

  It was too late.

  Her eyes were lifeless.

  Gone.

  Heavy pressure on my ribcage.

  Arcing power tearing through my limbs.

  Pain.

  Unbearable pain in every part of me.

  The soft hiss of waves on sand, and the warmth of Liam’s arms, were shattered as life ended. I was sucked into a black hole of oblivion.

  But the pain didn’t end. If anything, it got worse. Swirling, soaring, nausea.

  Then, sounds ringing in my ears: beeping, shouting, chaos. Everything around me was topsy-turvy.

  My body was different. Weighted, weak as an undernourished skeleton.

  Tears sprung to my eyes as another pain pierced my ribs with the pressure of a tyre iron. I tried to open my eyes, but my lids stayed glued together. The taste of Liam’s frantic kisses, and dream confession were decimated and replaced with a sharp antiseptic tang.

  What the hell is happening?

  My heart that stopped beating on the beach, galloped into action as I jolted into the air, tingles of fireworks and electricity zinging in my blood.

  “Clear!”

  The whizzing and heat came again.

  I screamed.

  “She’s back. Give her more oxygen.” The voice was disembodied as I finally unstuck my eyelids and blinked. Nothing made sense.

  Where was the dark evening? The twinkling stars that looked as if Christmas tinsel littered the velvet sky? Where was the gentle rolling waves and sugar soft sand?

  Where was Liam?

  Stark whiteness blinded me, stealing any sense of location or recognition. I tried to speak, but something obstructed my airway.

  A human shaped blob appeared in my face, while hands pressed on my shoulders. “Don’t struggle. You’re in Malietoa Tanumafili Hospital. There is a breathing tube down your throat so don’t try to talk until we’ve unhooked you. Nod if you understand.”

  The female voice was professional and calm. It helped soothe my pending panic attack. I
nodded, hating how such a little movement felt as if an elephant sat on my forehead.

  A door clattered open and a voice rose in a frenzy. “Is she awake? Are they both awake?”

  I recognised that voice, but names eluded me—dancing out of reach, hiding in the inkiness of recollection.

  “Leave please. We’ll come find you when she’s more lucid.”

  I tried to call out, to ask the person I knew to stay. To help me understand what the hell was going on, but nothing worked. My body was not my own. Gone was the ability to move and summon muscles to obey. I was a corpse with aches and bruises and a lacerating pain that started in my neck and travelled the length of my spine.

  Oh God. Can I use my legs?

  I tried to wiggle my toes, but nothing responded. All that happened was a slight twinge and sweat beaded my brow. Tears squeezed from my useless eyes and tickled my cheek. Please don’t let me be paralyzed. What’s happened to me?

  Liam! I needed Liam. All memories of the panic that things were moving too quickly were gone. With him all my worries faded into nothingness. I didn’t care if he wanted to rush things. It wasn’t rushing if it was right. We were given Samoa to show how amazing we fit together. Our souls knew, even if my mind said it happened too fast. But where the hell was he? My brain short-fired, unable to connect the dots.

  Shuffling sounded to my left, and a masculine groan reverberated around the sterile room.

  My heart lurched in knowing.

  Liam!

  I struggled against the weight and foreignness of my body, managing to blink away the blindness. Slowly, like an old TV powering up, images returned.

  My arms pinged with awareness as I raised the useless lumps of meat to clumsily claw at the thing in my throat.

  Someone stopped me. “No. Be patient. I’ll get it out for you.” The human shaped blob morphed into a pretty elderly Samoan woman with her hair plaited, hanging over her shoulder. She wore white scrubs and a concerned look in her eyes.

  I nodded, wide-eyed, as she shuffled closer and pressed a button above my head. “You ready? On the count of three, I’ll remove the tube.”