Double the Love

by Taggart, Molly

  “Maybe?”

  “Okay. I did react badly. But you still should have talked to me about it before you talked to Eden about it. I’m your husband. You barely know her.”

  “I'm sorry. I just…we were talking about how catering was a new adventure. And I said I might want another new adventure going back to college. I’ve always felt bad that I never finished.”

  "Hey," he says softly. "You're an amazing, creative, intelligent business woman. An excellent wife and a mother. You don’t need some piece of paper to tell you you’re valuable. But if this is what you want, whenever you decided to go for it, I’ll support you."

  She smiles. They kiss until the oven beeps, and when the last batch is cooled and wrapped and resting in the double fridge, he says, "Let's go to bed."

  She looks at the dusting of flour on the countertops, the leftover scrap of dough rolled out on the cutting board, the pans piled in the sink, and sighs.

  "It can wait until tomorrow," he says, stacking a pan by the sink. "Can't it?" When she just continues to look at the mess, he continues, "I'm not after sex. I mean, I am, but that's not all I'm after. I just…I just really need to be close to you tonight."

  Her eyes are tender when she looks at him. "Five minutes," she says. "Just let me make one phone call to my staff about tomorrow."

  He goes into their master bathroom and undresses down to his boxers. After washing the flour off his hands and face, he brushes his teeth and returns to the bedroom, where he lies down on the top of the comforter with his hands behind his head. Aaron looks up at the ceiling and turns every few seconds to glance at the clock. It’s only seven minutes before she comes in, but it feels much longer to him. She walks by the edge of the bed and trails her fingers from his ankle up to his shoulder. Her hands are cool and slightly wet. "I'll be right back," she says, and disappears into the bathroom for another few minutes.

  Janice returns in nothing but her bra and panties, stands at the side of the bed, and begins to undress. He watches her silently as the undergarments drop to the floor. When she reaches for the light on the nightstand, he moves his arm from behind his head and touches her gently. "Leave it on,” he insists, “You're beautiful. I want to see you."

  She drops her hand from the knob and walks around the bed to the other side before crawling across the top of the comforter. When she’s lying beside him, he doesn’t touch her. Instead, he remains on his back and waits to see what she’ll do. She places the palm of her hand flat over his heart, presses gently, and then caressed his chest, moving gradually downward. When she reaches for the elastic band of his boxers and dips a hand inside, his eyes shut tightly. The back of her fingers rest warmly against his stomach. He swallows when she leans forward, her breath sweet against his ear. "You're my husband, and I love you," she whispers, her voice somehow tender and sensual all at once. "Tell me what you need. Tell me exactly what you need."

  Anyone might think he consumed more than two glasses of wine this evening, the way the room seems suddenly to spin, but Aaron knows the sensation is unrelated to alcohol. Nothing has ever made him so high as her love.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Aaron leads the Franklin Falcons all the way to the playoffs, though they don’t quite make it to the state soccer championships. Meanwhile, Janice secures several more prestigious catering gigs during the holiday season before finally getting a break. In mid-January, the Mitchells at last have time to invite the Harrises over again. Eden, much to Aaron’s consternation, cracks out the Taboo game once the kids have fled to the basement.

  Eden insists on playing as couples, and Daniel is given the container of cards to start. Janice flicks the timer over with flourish.

  "Kinky," Daniel says.

  "Handcuffs," Eden instantly replies.

  Janice and Aaron glance at each other, Aaron with wide, surprised eyes, and Janice with a suppressed laugh.

  Daniel flips the next card up. "The DVD we put on in the living room yesterday to keep the boys busy while we did the thing we did on the kitchen counter."

  Aaron looks straight down at the table, his face growing red, while Eden shouts, "Star Wars!"

  "That first word," Daniel tells her, "and then another word it goes with."

  "Star…light?" Eden asks.

  Daniel nods. It goes on like this for a while, Daniel and Eden rapidly collecting cards. Janice and Aaron make a better showing this time, but they still lose to their friends.

  Later that night, after the Harrises have left the Mitchell household, and Sophie and Emily are in bed, Aaron and Janice clean up the remaining glasses and wine bottles. As the spray mists over the wine glass she’s turning beneath the faucet, Janice asks, "Do you think they actually use handcuffs? I mean, the second, the very second, he said kinky, she said handcuffs."

  Aaron hangs a hand-dried wine glass below the light wood wine rack that was built into the wall next to a cabinet. It was one of the things Janice loved about the kitchen, even though it was otherwise too small for her. He was forced to go out and buy new, matching wine glasses to fill up the rack, because Janice didn't want all the random shapes and sizes of glasses they had acquired over the years to hang haphazardly together. She was also constantly buying bottles of wine now because she didn't like empty holes in the rack.

  "I don't know, Janice. I don't want to talk about Daniel and Eden's exciting sex life."

  "Exciting? You think handcuffs are exciting?"

  "I didn't say that!" He takes the glass she has just washed and begins drying it.

  "Are you dissatisfied with our sex life?" she asks. "Are you getting bored?"

  He hangs the second glass beneath the rack. He avoids her eyes. He loves their sex life, but he doesn’t think there’s any way he can answer that question without getting himself in some kind of trouble, so he decides to treat it as a hypothetical to which the answer is an obvious no. He slides the hand towel into the rack that hangs from one of the cabinet doors. "I think I hear Sophie calling us. I better check on her."

  *

  Aaron is in bed reading when Janice comes out of the master bathroom in her gray, nighttime sweats and Franklin Falcon’s t-shirt and slides under the covers next to him. He turns a page and says, "This biography is more interesting than I expected it to be."

  "Aaron, you need to answer me. Are you unhappy with the quality of our sex life?"

  "No! Now would you just drop it? I don't need handcuffs and kitchen counters and whatever the hell else Daniel and Eden are into." He slams the book shut.

  "So you don't need a lot of creative, spontaneous sex?"

  "I'm satisfied, Janice. Besides, we had creative, spontaneous sex on New Year's Eve. Right on the living room floor. In front of the Christmas tree."

  She nods. "If hours of planning and preparation and putting jingle bells on the girls’ doors count as spontaneous."

  "Okay, it wasn't spontaneous, but it was great," he says. He puts the book on the nightstand.

  "So you aren't dissatisfied?" she asks again. "There's nothing you'd change?"

  "Well, I wouldn't complain if the frequency increased. Or if you wore your lingerie to bed more often."

  "So just the standing complaint. Nothing else I don't know about?"

  "No. Nothing else." He leans over and flicks off the lamp. "G'night. I love you." He always says those words, every night, even if they’re fighting.

  "I love you too."

  Aaron settles down under the covers on his back and crosses his arms over his stomach. Janice turns onto her side. Just as he’s preparing to sleep, his eyes suddenly shoot open and adjust to the darkness. The ceiling comes into focus. "Wait," he says. "Wait. Are you suggesting you're not satisfied with our sex life?"

  She doesn’t answer.

  "Janice?" He turns on his side. "Honey?"

  "I'm happy with our sex life," she says. She rolls over to face him. "You're considerate in bed. And you're very attractive." He’s starting to smile when she continues, "It's just...you're pret
ty conventional."

  His smile falters and his lips form a thin line. "Conventional?"

  "The living room floor once a year - that's about as risqué as you get."

  "That's not true. We've done it in the shower." Although not that often. It’s hard for both to stay under the spray simultaneously, and, since he’s a gentleman after all, he’s the one who always ends up in the cold. "And remember that night after the cocktail party? When you left your high heels on?”

  “That was months ago.”

  “And we’ve done it on the soccer field."

  "That was when you were in college, Aaron. That was a long time ago.”

  "That was fun, wasn't it?" he asks.

  "Until the sprinklers went off and drenched us." She chuckles. "Then it was just funny." She pats his hand. "I'm perfectly content, hon. I'm just saying you tend to be a little conventional. All and all, that's not a bad thing from my perspective, personally, but I wouldn't mind if you mixed it up just a little more often."

  "Mixed it up? What do you mean? What do you want? Do you want handcuffs?"

  "No!" She jerks her hand away from his. "Hell no!"

  "Then what?"

  She rolls over again. "I don't know. Maybe I'd like you to surprise me."

  "Surprise you? When? With what?"

  "Well, if I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise. Just think of something and surprise me. Not tonight. Just some time. G'night, hon."

  "G'night," he mutters, but he doesn’t go to sleep. He remains lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He feels as if she's just handed him a grenade with a loose pin and said, "Just be sure not to make a false move. Good luck, sweetheart!"

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  When Aaron enters the bar, he finds his friend, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Let's sit somewhere else."

  Daniel dismounts his bar stool, takes his pint of beer, and follows Aaron to a far booth in a darkened corner of the bar. "Oh, so you really do want to talk," Daniel says as he slides in and leans back against the dark brown wood of the booth. "I thought you were just rescuing me from the twins for an evening."

  When Aaron has his own drink, he says, "I have to ask you something embarrassing. Don't make it worse for me than it's already gonna be."

  Daniel smirks. "This promises to be good." In response to Aaron's surly expression, he sits up a little and waves his hand. "Fine. I promise. No ridicule."

  Aaron rubs his eyes and puts his hand down on the table, letting it fall loosely around his beer bottle. "You're more experienced than I am."

  "At what? Target shooting?"

  "No...I mean...with women."

  Daniel laughs. "I don't know about that. You were an athlete in high school and college. I was a math geek."

  "Yeah, but I've been married over half my life now, and you had that time between your first and second marriage… before you were super dad."

  "You mean back when I was still rich and passably attractive?"

  "You know what I mean. You saw some women. Janice was the first girl I ever…you know…more than kissed."

  Daniel rubs his forehead. "Seriously?"

  "Yeah.”

  “You two didn’t start dating until you were nineteen.” Daniel turns his pint glass by the rim. "I just assumed you sowed all your wild oats in high school."

  "Well I guess my oats were pretty tame."

  Daniel laughs. "I never did understand that expression." He looks at Aaron quizzically. "You aren't thinking about sowing those oats now, are you? You've got a good thing with Janice. Don't you dare— "

  "— Of course not!"

  "So…then…what? You're regretting that you didn't seize the opportunity to sleep with a bunch of girls your first year of college? Trust me. Casual sex isn't quite as exciting as you think. The best sex I ever had with a woman I hardly knew didn't come anywhere close to the best sex I ever had with a woman I loved."

  "No, it's not that."

  Daniel shakes his head and slides his now empty pint glass to the side of the table. "Then you just come out and ask me the embarrassing question, because I can't guess what your issue is."

  "If a woman said to you she wanted you to surprise her—" Aaron grows suddenly silent as a waiter approaches. Daniel orders a shot of scotch, but Aaron has barely touched his beer.

  "I'd buy her flowers on a random day," Daniel says as the waiter moves on to the next table. "It's clichéd, but it seems to work."

  "No, I don't mean that. What if a woman says she wants you to surprise her sexually. Sometime. Just do something. Something she doesn't expect."

  "Surprise her. Sometime. With something."

  Aaron nods.

  "That's the entire quantity of information this hypothetical woman offered you?'

  Aaron nods again.

  Daniel laughs. "Hmmm. That's rather as if she gave you a grenade with a loose pin and told you not to make a false move."

  "No shit!" Aaron lowers his voice after his first exclamation of agreement. "That was exactly the metaphor that came to my mind."

  "As my lovely and informative wife would tell you, it's a simile, actually, not a metaphor, but—" Daniel waves his hand and smiles expectantly " — do continue."

  Aaron becomes tensely silent as the waiter returns with Daniel’s scotch. It’s been a week since Janice had told him she "wouldn't mind" if he "mixed it up," and they've had sex twice, but he hasn’t tried anything out of the ordinary, not yet. She's been satisfied, he thinks, at least she sounded satisfied, and she eased into a contented cuddle after. She hasn’t mentioned the conversation again, and he hasn’t wanted to broach the subject himself, though it’s been consuming his thoughts, whenever he isn’t concentrating on teaching or planning for the next soccer season. Her words, "just surprise me sometime," are the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up in the morning and the last thing he thinks about when he goes to bed.

  "I have no idea what she wants," Aaron admits as Daniel reaches for the new drink. "We talk all the time. About everything. Whether I want to or not. But she's never said she wanted anything dramatically different before. And when I asked her what she meant…she wouldn't give me any more information. So I was just wondering if you had any general suggestions...you know...what most women do or don't like...oh Jesus, I can't believe I'm asking you this."

  Daniel leans close to his friend. "Well, let me ask you an embarrassing question. This isn't kissing and telling, mind you. This is a private, closed-door strategy meeting."

  Aaron nods and apprehensively awaits Daniel's inquiry.

  "Who initiates most of the time?"

  "Me." Aaron's tone is business-like. If he treats this as a strategy meeting, as Daniel has suggested, maybe it won’t be quite so mortifying.

  "And how do you do that?"

  Now that’s a bit too personal, but Aaron’s truly at a loss for ideas, and he needs all the help he can get, so he answers, "Well, I hint. Or I flatter. Or I light candles and put on music or something. And then she either rebuffs me or gives me the green light."

  "You never just...walk in the door and throw her up on the countertop and start unbuckling your belt."

  "Hell no. I mean, for one thing, the girls are usually around. For another, Janice doesn't take well to that. Just going straight for it like that. She likes to be wooed first."

  Daniel shrugs. "I don't know. Sometimes women find that sexy."

  Aaron shakes his head. "I don't think..." He pauses in his head shaking. "I mean...she can't possibly want me just to slide tackle her."

  "Well, I wasn't suggesting a tackle, Aaron. You know, but...she clearly likes watching you coach. That boldness - that assertiveness and command you show on the soccer field - maybe she wants to see more of that in the bedroom."

  "Yeah...I don't know..."

  "Okay, what about work sex? A lot of women like office sex."

  "A lot of women?" Aaron has tilted his beer bottle to sip it, but now he lowers it to the table again. "What, in all
those pornos you watch while you're babysitting the kids?"

  "You can't babysit your own children, Aaron. I'm raising them. I'm not babysitting them."

  "Sorry. Don't get touchy. I know that. It was a slip of the tongue. You sound like Janice."

  "But, seriously," Daniel continues, "some women really find that exciting. Especially the strong, competent, professional types."

  "Office sex is out of the question. My office is in a school boys’ locker room. I’d get fired. She doesn’t have an office. She works in people’s houses, in the kitchens of random venues—”

  "I'm sure some of those venues have some secluded alcoves. And she’s got a staff, so she doesn’t have to be on the entire time.”

  “Ridiculous idea."

  "You could at least show up, surprise her, make out a bit. You know, give her something to think about until you get home." Daniel’s lifting his glass when he stops suddenly and holds it forward. "What about role playing? For women, I do believe police men, cowboys, and vampires top the list. They've got a party store a couple miles from here. All sorts of adult costumes."

  "Uh...no." Aaron shakes his head. "I don't…I'm a really bad actor."

  "Well, I don't know, my friend. You've shot down everything I've suggested. Better to disappoint than to offend, you think. I don't blame you. You want to play it safe. You're conventional."

  "I'm not conventional! I'm happy to do whatever she wants, I just don't know what she wants. I don't understand why she didn't just tell me directly."

  "She's probably embarrassed to ask," Daniel speculates.

  "Janice is not the shy, blushing type."

  "No," Daniel replies. "No, she isn't, normally, but if she thinks you're a little conventional—"

  "I'm not conventional!"

  "—then she may be reluctant to come out and ask for something that you might find kinky, especially if this is a new interest for her. Maybe she's just hoping you'll stumble on it. You know, women don't like to be rebuffed either. It's not just us."