Hannah Alexander

by Keeping Faith

  His focus changed when he walked across the clearing to where Heidi sat staring into the deep woods. Mrs. Reich stood with an arm around her. Both were silent until he reached them, and then Heidi’s eyes brightened.

  “Captain, I’ve searched the edge of the woods and from right here I’ve seen four different plants Dr. Fenway can use for medicines.”

  Mrs. Reich turned a startled look up at him, then shrugged and shook her head. This was apparently the first time Heidi had spoken today.

  “There’ll be more even deeper in the woods, I know,” Heidi continued. “I’ve learned all the medicinal plants and drawn pictures of those she’s picked along the way. I know how to dry them, too. I’ve watched.”

  “You hope to become a doctor just like Dr. Fenway someday?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes. She knows everything about all kinds of plants, and she told me someday I could do the same thing if I wanted to. I hope she teaches me everything. I want to know it all.”

  “I think she’s taught you a lot already.”

  Heidi nodded. There was an unnerving brightness in her eyes, as if she had no memory of the loss of her family—or as if she was intentionally suppressing it. “You know, folks think women can’t be doctors, and boys think we’re stupid. Most men do, too, according to...” Her lips hovered open and her eyes widened.

  “According to your mother?” he asked gently.

  She looked up at him, and then her attention drifted away as if they hadn’t just spoken.

  Mrs. Reich returned to patting and soothing her, and Joseph excused himself quietly. Gently. As if one word spoken with too much force would shatter whatever hold Heidi had on herself.

  Buster Johnston was stirring a kettle of greens and roots that had been collected around the field while teasing William Reich about his crush on Heidi. William, of course, took it with good humor, but his gaze seldom wavered from the direction of his mother and his friend in the clearing.

  After seeing to it that all was well enough with the rest of the wagon train and telling the people they would be leaving in the morning, Joseph wandered once more in the direction of the Ladue wagon, where Victoria stood working in the sun that had just peered out from behind a passing cloud. He needed her help once again.

  Chapter Eight

  The aroma of roasting venison filled the air, making Victoria’s stomach grumble. No one had been hungry for breakfast this morning, and her lack of nutrition was making itself known as she examined the medical supplies distributed across the white square of linen along the back edge of the Ladue wagon. She would have to temporarily abandon so many of her herbs and medicines, and even some of her bandages.

  Not that she knew for sure she would need anything at the Frasiers’ home, but one always needed to be prepared. Many of the herbs and roots, however, she would be able to find in the forests, or in the fields, even along the stream. When she and Matthew had traveled, she’d learned to pack lightly and make do.

  She rubbed some of her utensils with what was left of her whiskey and wrapped them securely. These were the surgery utensils Matthew had given her, and she cherished them more than she’d have cherished the expensive wedding ring he’d wanted to give her two years after their wedding—soon after making his true affection for her evident.

  A glance at Sadie reassured her that the mare was eager for a ride. One more night of rest and the sweet girl would have her wish.

  Satisfied that most of the group was occupied around the bonfire several yards away—with Heidi and Audy still lingering at the edge of the forest—Victoria left the remainder of the utensils for later and pulled back the sheet of linen to study the map she’d slid beneath it. She knew the route by heart because she’d studied it so many times, but during their passage through Missouri she had marked down the small towns and trading posts along the way that Matthew had dismissed as trivial. It wouldn’t hurt to draw a rough map of places she’d covered and study once again the route she would have to follow to avoid detection. She marked down the places where she’d seen the track proving Thames had been on their trail before they traveled it, and studied the drawing of the track. Could she have been wrong? Could there be more than one horse with a right front shoe broken at the far tip?

  A shadow moved behind her and she caught the familiar scent of wild mint—another of Joseph’s favorite edibles. Even as a tingle of pleasure warmed her, she instinctively covered the map with a casual unfolding of the linen. She laid her rifle atop it so the corner wouldn’t blow up and kept a smile to herself. The man seemed to keep popping up today, as he had been doing a lot recently. Her inner delight battled an equal measure of inner guilt; the man she’d once loved was obviously still attracted to her and she was enjoying it far too much, like a giddy young girl.

  In some ways it seemed a lifetime had passed since their painful parting, but when they were together she couldn’t help feeling that some invisible force had brought them back together now, as if time had folded in on itself. What was that invisible force? Would she ever have seen him again if not for Matthew’s death?

  That thought helped her keep the smile away.

  “Victoria, I’m afraid you haven’t finished your work with us, as Gray Johnston just reminded me.”

  She swung around, lips parted as all her private thoughts scattered like the bonfire’s smoke. “What are you talking about? You’re now allowing a boy to tell you what I should and should not be doing?”

  He grimaced and raised his hands. “Hear me out.”

  She crossed her arms. “I’m listening.”

  “Gray seems to think it’s his responsibility to take care of Heidi, since he couldn’t stop the shenanigans that took her family from her.”

  “I’m sure you disabused him of that notion. Does he think he can do a better job than Mrs. Reich is doing right now?” She jerked her head toward Heidi and Audy. The older lady hovered closely with a sturdy arm around the lone girl standing in the cusp between the menace of the forest and the brightly colored spring meadow.

  Joseph glanced over his shoulder toward the work that had consumed the men this morning, then he turned from the two graves, as if satisfied no wild animals would breach the hold of the dead. “I happen to believe that girl may have an important career in her future. She has an unusual acuity for so young a woman, intelligent, wise beyond her years, a lot like you were ten years ago. She needs someone to guide her and keep her mind occupied after her losses, and right now I fear for her mind, especially after what I just witnessed. She’s not herself at all.”

  Victoria wilted, overwhelmed by the crush of responsibility she felt toward too many people at once. How could she leave Heidi after so great a loss? And yet, she must reach Buck and Francine as soon as possible.

  “I know you’re worried about your friends,” Joseph said, as if reading her mind, “but we can help them, too, even get them out of Jolly Mill if they need to come.”

  “Joseph,” she warned, “that wasn’t part of your plan, and the safety of all these people hinges on that plan.”

  “I know, but don’t you realize yet that your dreams are mine? We both want freedom for all in this country. So do our fellow travelers. We’re all in this together, and together we’re stronger than we are alone.”

  “You were talking about Heidi, so let’s talk about Heidi.” Victoria fought back a wave of panic. “Of course the girl isn’t herself. She just lost the last of her family. She’s not going to be herself for quite some time. It will take her years to recover. As for changing your plans, the change you made last week was a good one. You need to stick with it and let me deal with Buck and Francine. They’re my responsibility, not yours.” She turned her back to him and reached for the lid to her medicinal whiskey.

  “I’ve been thinking about Naaman, John Brown’s son,” Joseph said. “If the Knights of the Golden Circle have discovered their whereabouts, then there could already be trouble for the Frasiers. This whole corner of Missouri could be crawlin
g with dangerous men in search of him. Do you know what they would do to him in an effort to cut at John Brown’s heart, stop his crusade for abolition?”

  She stared down at the pure white of the linen. “I’ll do my part. I’ll take Naaman Brown and his wife, Josetta, with me to Kansas. I’ll do the best I can. It’s all I can do. Matthew thought this was a righteous task, a God-honoring task. God will either protect us all, or some will die. From what I’ve seen on this trip, either could happen.”

  Joseph winced outwardly at her words, then his attention was drawn toward the linen cloth, beneath which she had slid the map. He looked back at her. “You’re willing to die serving a God you’re not sure you believe in.”

  “Haven’t you found it harder to believe after witnessing the deaths of such good people? Don’t you find it harder to believe that our powerful, Almighty Lord loves us enough to keep us from harm? He didn’t rescue Luella or Matthew—”

  “He did rescue them from permanent harm,” Joseph said, his voice gentle again. “You have to also believe in heaven.”

  “And the other, of course, which is where poor Heidi must be dwelling right now.”

  He shook his head. “The story hasn’t ended yet.”

  “Don’t drag this wagon train into danger for my solitary commitment,” she said. “I never made any promise to you or anyone else that I was going all the way to Kansas with this wagon train.”

  “I told you we needed a doctor, and you agreed to come with us in that capacity.”

  “You had one when you needed it, and if I succeed in Jolly Mill you’ll have one again.” She realized the camp had fallen silent, and that her voice seemed to echo against the wagons. Probably startling the animals. “I’ll be back to mentor Heidi,” she said softly. “All will be well if that’s God’s plan.”

  Joseph leaned closer to her. “We haven’t reached Kansas yet. We’ll need you all the way.”

  “I’ll only be away from the wagon train for a few days at most.”

  “With ruffians beating the bushes? Do you know how badly they’ll want Naaman Brown?”

  “If they even know he’s there.”

  “And do you know what those beasts will do to him and his wife, anyone coming to their aid?” Joseph’s voice deepened with frustration.

  “More reason for me to get to them quickly and get them out of the state. Don’t forget, I have the bills of sale. All I have to do is fill them out.”

  “And if people like Broderick Thames and Otto Duncan are hovering in Jolly Mill, expecting your arrival? Thames must know who you are. He must have studied you and Matthew long before killing him. He’ll know what you’re up to.”

  The sound of Joseph’s voice echoed, and the silence of the others remained. He and Victoria stood looking at each other until the chatter picked up and continued amongst their travel mates.

  “Naaman and Josetta will trust only me because they know me,” Victoria said. “They won’t place their lives into your hands no matter what you say, not even if you tell them about me. They must be frightened, Joseph. You don’t understand the kind of fear they endure every day.”

  “I have an idea.”

  “Then you must understand why I’m so determined about this.”

  There was another long silence, and Victoria could almost see the thoughts flitting across his grave face. She could guess at the questions that must be occurring to him, as they had occurred to her so many times these past weeks.

  “Would they be frightened if you brought a friend with you?”

  Her fingernails found their familiar spot on the palms of her hands and dug in. Persistence was his nature. She’d always known that. What had made her think, ten years ago, that she had the patience to endure that kind of determination for a lifetime? She’d changed. Loving a man of such boldness and strong will would wear a woman out.

  She still grieved Matthew’s death, but she was beginning to think single women had freedom they could treasure. She could afford to remain single, free from having a man try to run her life—a man who might well praise her one moment for a job well done and then in the next moment grow angry with her for the very thing he had previously admired.

  “Trying to reason with you is like pounding my head against a giant boulder,” she muttered without rancor.

  Joseph looked down at her—he was one of the few men tall enough to do so. There was a challenge in his obsidian eyes. “Whatever you do, please don’t forget the young woman who needs you to treat a wound greater than your own.”

  “You’re talking about Heidi again?” Hands on hips, she leaned forward until she caught another whiff of his wild-mint breath. “I don’t think you understand me, Joseph. I have taken Heidi under my wing. She is strong enough to endure my absence for a day or two until I complete my task and am able to settle back with the train. She is surrounded by friends who have become like family.”

  “How can you be so sure you’ll return from such a dangerous situation?”

  Victoria spread her hands in the air in exasperation. “This is another of your personality quirks I’d forgotten over the years. You become so focused on a plan you think will work that you don’t even hear me. You didn’t before, and you don’t now. That hasn’t changed at all.”

  He took off his hat and scraped his fingers through the thick black hair. “I do listen, Victoria. What I hear you saying is that you’re planning an action that could get you killed just so you can carry out your husband’s last wishes.” He paced restlessly away from her, his broad shoulders flexing beneath the heavy blue shirt. “I should have known,” he muttered.

  “What’s that?”

  He turned to look at her, and he wore all his thoughts in his expression. She suppressed a gasp at the deep longing and love she saw in those dark eyes.

  “I should have known that if we discussed this plan of yours, I would lose control. We’re talking about your life. Matthew would never place a load such as this on his wife’s shoulders. He loved you, Victoria.”

  Oh, dear. She stood staring at him, aware her mouth was open but unable to focus on closing it, especially when he walked back toward her slowly, deliberately holding her gaze.

  “You have a lot of courage,” he said, his voice softening, “but don’t allow that courage to lead you to make a huge mistake. Matthew would be outraged if I allowed it.”

  A warm flush traveled up Victoria’s neck. A sudden sting of tears surprised her. She tried to blink them away. Now, hearing Joseph speak of him, she couldn’t help recalling her husband’s expression when he looked at her, the way he’d spoken to her as he lay dying on that hideous day.

  Joseph took her hands in his and held them, seeming not to care what others thought but instinctively knowing what she needed at the moment. “Let’s be honest, Victoria, shall we? Had I not left for Georgia in search of the truth, I’d have stayed in St. Louis and married you instead of leaving you to Matthew. I would never, as your husband, have sent you out here on such a dangerous journey by yourself.”

  “But it was his dying wish. By then he was convinced I could be in more danger in St. Louis than I would be coming West.”

  Joseph closed his eyes, and she could see the thoughts flitting across his face. His expression changed and he looked down at her again. “I can think of no woman more capable than you. If anyone could pull off this plan, it would be you. Matthew knew his wife well.” Joseph cleared his throat. “He was a wise and blessed man.”

  Victoria closed her mouth. She knew when Joseph Rickard was up to something. She recalled from years ago when they had argued in just this way, Joseph’s tendency had always been to disarm her with flattery.

  What he didn’t know was that she’d willingly learned from the master. The man whose eyes seemed to suddenly devour her had taught her how to play that game well.

  With an intentional turnabout, she swallowed her surprise and graced Joseph with her most dimpled smile. She reached out and caressed his hands with hers. This wi
dened his eyes and appeared to drive him back a half step.

  “Why, Joseph Rickard,” she said, imitating his drawl, “you can’t possibly know how a handsome man like yourself could turn a lonely widow’s head if she were to allow it.”

  “But I wasn’t trying to turn any—”

  “And you can’t possibly know how fine a figure you are when you’re saddled up and leading all these people who depend on you.” She nodded and widened her smile. “A very fine leader. And that’s why a leader cannot have his head turned by one stubborn, lonely widow when so many others need you, both here and in Kansas.”

  Joseph’s thick, straight brows drew together, but she could see the color rise above his trimmed beard, and that was a satisfying sight. It was the second time she’d made him blush today. It could be done. He cleared his throat, but said nothing.

  “I had noticed you never talk much about your upbringing.” Victoria gazed around the large clearing that had once held stumps of long-ago trees. “I know about your family’s plantation, of course, and the slaves your family owned, because that was the subject of our very first argument.”

  “Correction, my father owned them. Wives are often treated much like slaves and work nearly as hard, so my mother didn’t consider herself to be an owner at all. Since she came from Ohio, she was opposed to the idea of one human owning another.”

  “So that’s why you were so open to my point of view.”

  An amused smile tugged at his lips and sparked from his eyes. “Oh, there were other reasons.”

  A trickle of perspiration tickled Victoria’s neck, and she realized the sun had warmed the air considerably today. Surely that was all that caused her to be so heated. “And what were those reasons?”

  “You realize, of course, that you can be persuasive when you feel passionate about something.”