by Lexy Timms
"Your shift ends in two hours. Stop by and see me before you go, please." Elijah turned to leave and paused at the door. "Have you tried to go see her? To talk to her face to face? I've seen you and Julie together when things were good. Memories of that time might help rebuild..."
Simon cut him off. "I'm good. Thanks. No need for coaching or mentorship. I've tried everything and nothing’s working. I deserve it, so whatever." He hated how much like a spoiled ass he sounded, but he couldn't help himself. Having just gotten off the phone with his bride and misunderstanding her choking for emotion, he was hurting all over again.
A call came over the speaker system. The nurse's voice filled the room, but the slight tremor in it told Simon that something was up far beyond what they were spilling to the hospital.
"Dr. Bennet. You're needed in the ER, Stat. Dr. Bennet. You're needed in the ER, Stat."
"I'll come with you." Simon grabbed his coat and jogged to catch up with Elijah as he turned and jogged down the hall toward the stairs.
"What the hell, now?" he grumbled and barreled into the door, taking the stairs fast.
Simon kept up as his heart raced at the possibilities. Nothing gave him a high like saving lives each and every day did. Having been in the ER most nights since taking residence at the hospital, he was almost glad for the chance to be there again.
Over the years, he had been carefully shifted out of trauma and into a regular schedule as their lead neurosurgeon. He loved his job and had come to covet the moments that him and Julie worked side by side in the OR for the more complicated procedures. Even more so now...
"Any clue what's up?" Simon jogged beside Elijah and checked his phone to make sure he still had time on the clock should they need his help.
"No, but it can't be good. Charles is down here this afternoon. He's beyond skilled, so anything that needs my attention means it’s someone incredibly important or death is eminent."
"Right," Simon mumbled and moved in behind Elijah as they rounded the corner to a rather quiet ER hall. One of the nurses turned toward them and jogged their way, handing Elijah a chart and glancing over at Simon with a hateful look on her elderly face.
Did everyone know about him and Pam? It would almost seem that way.
"Talk to me, Cheryl." Elijah took the chart and stopped short. "Why do I have this chart?"
"Because she's the patient, Elijah." The nurse glanced toward Simon. "This is a rather private matter, Dr. Paulk. I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave."
"What?" Simon felt his blood run cold. Since when did the nurse get to denote who was and wasn't included in a trauma case? He was regularly brought in and if Elijah was being called to assist, then he would most certainly be welcomed right beside him.
"She's right." Elijah glanced toward him. "I'll come find you later. This is high priority and not your specialty. It’s obstetrics."
"Oh." Simon paused and took a step back before turning to walk toward the ER check-in desk. He waited until Elijah walked from the room with the nurse to lean over and tap the desk in front of him.
A younger male, who must have been relatively new, glanced up. "Yes, Sir? How can I help you?"
"The patient that was just brought in. Give me her name, please?" He knew he shouldn't, but his curiosity got the best of him. Elijah being brought in was non-routine, especially since he wasn't the head of obstetrics himself. Glen was, and for some reason, his name wasn't called over the intercom. Why?
"Of course." The young man flipped through the paperwork in front of him as his brow pulled tight. "Hmmm... odd. It's not listed here where it should be."
Simon reached over the desk and plucked the file from the boy before fingering through it quickly. The last line on the narration page had an address, which he didn't expect to tell him anything, but unfortunately, it did.
"Julie." He turned and walked toward the heart of the ER, not giving two shits what anyone thought. Why was Julie there and what the fuck did she need an OB for? Had something happened to her that he wasn't aware of? Maybe it was a Gyno or maybe they were making shit up and she had been in an accident. She was still his wife and legally his responsibility.
He pressed the door to the only occupied room open and caught her eye as she clung to Elijah, the soft sound of him comforting her almost undoing Simon.
"What the fuck’s going on?" Simon moved in the room as the nurse moved toward him.
"You're not welcomed in here at the moment."
"Fuck off," he growled at her and moved around her with ease.
Elijah turned and got in his face. "Out. Now. I'll find you later."
"No." He moved a little to his left, trying to get Julie's attention. The light blue hospital gown fit her perfectly, but the pasty white of her skin left his insides shaking with fear. "Baby, what's the matter? What happened?"
She adverted her eyes from him as Elijah picked him up and muscled him out of the room. The smaller man yelled behind him for the nurse to close the door.
Simon jerked from his hold and got in his face. "Fucking move out of my way right now. That's my wife in there."
"She was your wife, Simon. Get yourself together and back off or you'll be looking at suspension papers the minute I have time to get to my desk. This isn't a daytime drama and I need to be in there with Julie. Take yourself back to your office and cool off. I'll come find you after I help her."
"Help her with what?" He was left dizzy by the fast pumping of his blood, his body numbing quickly as fear permeated every cell.
"I’ll fill you in later." Elijah wouldn't budge. “Let me help her, please.”
"If this was you and Charity, I’d never do this to you."
"Perhaps, but I'm making the only call I know to right now. She doesn't want you involved. You're not going to be. Leave or I'll have you escorted out. Your choice."
"Fuck you." Simon jerked from him and stormed out of the ER as tears pricked his vision. It didn't matter what he had done or hadn't done. Julie was still his wife, and knowing she was in the ER and not allowing him to come down to help her, to hold her, left his heart shattering in his chest.
Perhaps it was really over and hope should be laid to rest.
Too bad that didn't seem much like an option. He was never going to give her up. She was worth the world. He just had to find a way to prove it to her.
Chapter 3
"I'm sorry," Elijah spoke softly as he walked back in the room.
Julie shrugged and patted Cheryl on the shoulder as the older woman rubbed her back softly.
"He's just worried. I should have let him stay, but I hadn’t told him about the baby yet." Julie's voice broke as fear and sadness clouded her senses.
"Oh, honey." Cheryl pulled her into a quick side hug. "We'll check everything and see what we can do."
Elijah picked up the files and shook his head. "They put you into a light sleep in the ambulance and checked your vitals. You're doing okay, but… I’m so sorry, Jules, the baby didn't make it. We'll need to check here just to be sure and then schedule a DNC for as soon as possible.”
"Right," Julie mumbled and glanced down at her hands as her eyes burned with unshed tears. "I figured this would happen with everything going on. It's my fault really."
"No, it's not." Elijah took her by the shoulders and squeezed softly. "It's most likely due to something with your inability to carry this child and not the trauma. You know we talked briefly about testing you because of your infertility in the past. Having conceived was a huge blessing, but next time, we'll have to get involved earlier and take precautions to ensure the baby has a safe place to grow and develop."
"There isn't going to be a next time." Julie glanced up and wiped at her eyes. "Just do what you need to do and get me out of here. I don't want to spend another minute in this gown."
"Okay." He released her and glanced toward Cheryl. "Prep her for the ultrasound and let's make sure the fetus isn't responding. I'll talk to the lab and schedule the procedure."
"Don't say anything to Simon about this. It's none of his business." Julie turned and pinned Cheryl and then Elijah with a hard stare.
Elijah sighed. "That’s your decision. We can’t professionally and you know we won't, but you’re going to need to. There's no way he's going to allow this to pass. He made a mistake and has lost you because of it, I understand, but if he breaks into our system to find out what's going on with you, he’ll lose his job. Or worse, his license." Elijah returned her hard stare, the man a strong tower of humility and grace.
"I know. I'll tell him when I'm ready. If he does something stupid before then," she shrugged, "that's not my problem. I'm not his keeper." Julie laid back and forced herself not to cringe as Cheryl pulled up the gown and changed the pad under her because the other one had gotten so messy. Closing her eyes, she let her thoughts drift off to her first day in the hospital, the excitement of being in a place that would surely be her future, leaving her feeling fully alive.
"Okay, honey. This is going to be cold." Cheryl pressed the small device to Julie's stomach as Elijah walked back in and took over.
"Charity’s on her way." He glanced down as sadness rolled across his handsome features. "She said to tell you she loves you and is praying for you."
Julie nodded and turned to face the screen as several tears dripped down her face and puddled in her ear.
A soft sigh left Elijah as he turned the machine off. "I was really hoping for a different outcome. The EMS guys usually know their stuff, but there is always a chance..."
Julie cut him off. "It's okay, Elijah. Just fix me up so I can get back to what little bit of a life I have left."
He touched her shoulder and she jerked from him, not quite ready to accept anyone's kindness. He spoke quietly to the nurse before walking out and leaving the two of them alone.
Julie let the older woman help her up before wrapping a thick white blanket around her lower half and moving to sit in the waiting wheelchair.
Elijah took control of her as Cheryl paused in front of him. The nurse bent down beside Julie and smiled with warmth in her gaze. "We're all routing for you. Come see me when you're all better and we can talk."
"I'd like that," Julie lied and forced a tight smile before turning her attention to the door at the end of the hall. She hadn't been involved in the OBGYN part of things since studying in med school, but just thinking about the roller coaster of emotions that went along with the job left her dizzy.
One moment you were bringing life into the world and the next you were informing someone that they had lost what was sure to be the most precious thing available to them.
Elijah's hand tightened on her shoulder and she realized she was crying out loud. The various nurses and doctors in the ER turned to stare at her, several of them moving toward her and offering soft words of comfort. It only seemed to make matters worse.
She took Elijah's hand as he offered it and helped her onto the cold metal table. "This isn't going to be pleasant."
"I know," she whispered and laid back, closing her eyes and wishing like hell Simon was beside her. As much as she hated him, there was no one else she wanted holding her after such a traumatizing event. Would he forgive her for not telling him about the baby or letting him be a part of all she was going through now?
Did she care?
She wasn't sure. The sound of Charity's voice caused her to turn a little as a sob left her. Her best friend rushed the table and covered the top of Julie's body with her own, Charity’s soft cries breaking Julie's heart further.
"Oh, Jules. I'm so sorry." Charity leaned up and moved her long blond hair behind her ears as she brushed Julie's hair from her face. "It's going to be okay. Let them take care of you and then I'll take you home with me, okay?"
"Okay," Julie mumbled and closed her eyes, not wanting to cry anymore. "I'll be out shortly. Just wait on me."
"I will. I promise."
Julie listened as Charity and Elijah spoke softly for a minute, their concern for her warming her slightly. Fear and devastation left her not wanting to let anyone affect her, but she pushed the harmful emotions back and took herself back in time to the first time she and Simon met in college. His sexy smile combined with his playful attitude left her knowing that she would be his without much effort.
"So... whatcha studying there, pretty girl?" A much younger Simon leaned over the counter next to her in the large ornate library.
She glanced toward him and rolled her eyes before turning back to her advanced biology book. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."
"Oh. Goodness. Someone needs a cup of coffee or maybe a sweet treat to remind her of the important things in life."
She couldn't help but chuckle, the tone of his voice so playful and fun. She had seen him a few times around campus, but knew his reputation for being at the top of his class and loving every ounce of importance it gave him. He was cocky, but not without reason.
"Go away. I have an exam tomorrow and I'm not interested in you or your sticky buns." A smile lifted her lip as she glanced over at him.
He let out a short laugh that lit up his features and caused her heart to flutter. His dark green eyes scanned her face and he shook his head. "Never thought I would hear that from a woman I wanted to ask out, but there's a first time for everything."
"Yes, like this is the time when you get told no. I'm not interested in dating. My grades are far too important to me to indulge in a fling."
"What if it doesn't turn out to be a fling? You never know where each decision might lead you. Take a risk?" He lifted his eyebrow and moved in a little closer. "Besides, you might not like my sticky buns, but I most certainly have been coveting yours for weeks now."
She choked back a sob as pain laced the center of her abdomen, the technician reaching out and rubbing her shoulder softly.
"Almost done, Dr. Paulk."
Her cry wasn't from the trauma of the surgery, but from wanting so badly to go back to that moment with Simon. How had they gotten here? To a place where their future was in shreds and she laid on a surgery table without him beside her?
Right. His decisions. He had been right about one thing that day. You never did know where your decisions might lead, but surely he understood the risk he was taking by letting Pam have access to his body. If he wanted more sex or needed more attention, why hadn't he said something? He had always been so verbal about everything before. Why not this time? Why not when it mattered most?
Or maybe he had.
She tried to work backwards over the last year and couldn't seem to really pinpoint a moment where she felt like they had a falling out. Slowly over the course of time they had both turned toward their careers far more than toward each other. Doctors were supposed to completely invest themselves in their work, and with the growing needs at the hospital, why would anyone fault them for it.
But where did we lose each other?
"All done, Dr. Paulk. Just rest here for a few minutes and we'll get you up and put you in a recovery room for a few hours." The sweet technician leaned over and smiled. "I'll get Dr. Bennet for you."
"I'm not going into recovery. I'm going home, but yes, please do get Elijah. Please keep this situation to yourself as well. I don't want anyone knowing my business."
"Of course not." The girl smiled and walked from the room as Julie let out a long, painful sigh.
Life would never be the same and she wasn't sure how to envision it without Simon, but after losing the baby, she knew she would have to. Getting back together with him just didn't feel like an option she was willing to explore anymore. She needed to start fresh after giving herself a bit of time to heal. Surely the future held something for her that was better than anything that had occurred in her past.
Charity walked in and helped her sit up as Elijah smiled sadly, standing solemn in front of her. "You okay? Not too much pain, I hope."
"I'm fine. A little bit of cramping, but honestly, I just want to take some sleeping pills and take
a long nap." Julie shrugged and glanced down at her hands, realizing her wedding ring was still on her hand. She tugged it off and handed it to Charity. "Keep this for me?"
"Of course." Charity took it and slipped it into her pocket as her lips turned down into a frown. "I'll go get the car while you get dressed and Elijah prescribes your medicines. I brought you a comfortable dress from the house. I know your boobs are bigger than mine, but make it work?"
"Good." Julie forced a tight chuckle at her friend's joke, and waited until they left to get up. She cleaned herself up as best as possible and slipped the dress over her head before grabbing her purse and walking out into the hall.
Cheryl walked up and pulled her into a hug. "Elijah said to wait right here and he'll bring your prescription right over. Do you need anything else?"
"No. Thank you though." Julie squeezed the older woman and released her, moving back and slumping down in a chair as she leaned her head back and avoided the stares she got from everyone that passed by.
This was the bottom of the barrel. There was only one way to go from there, or so she hoped.
Chapter 4
"Dr. Paulk? You're due into surgery in room A. We're waiting for you. Everything’s prepped." One of his regular attending nurses popped her head into his office as he sat with his head in his hands.
"Yeah. I'll be right there." He didn't move, but waited for the soft click of the door before he sat up. He wiped at his tears and stood, not willing to let anyone see him emotional. Heaven forbid he show remorse for his fucked-up actions that everyone around him liked to whisper about. It wouldn't be long and he would have to start looking for another hospital to join. If he and Julie couldn't work things out, he would have to find a new place to start over.
He couldn't stand the thought of seeing her and not meaning something to her. From the first day he saw her in his anatomy class, he'd fallen in love. Her soft brown curls and inquisitive hazel eyes. He had to work harder to get her attention than he had ever had to do before.
