The American Soldier Collection 17: Love a Woman Right (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  “Kenny, come on over here and help me with these bags. You’re really good at being careful when you’re packaging them,” Laverty said to Kenny.

  “I don’t want to,” he said and stared at Ghost.

  “Why not?” Ghost asked him and then looked at Lois.

  “I’m tired,” he said to Ghost.

  “I called Aunt Val. She should be coming over soon to get you,” Lois told her son and caressed his hair.

  Just then there was a knock at the back door. Evan got up to answer it and saw it was Val through the screen. “Come on in.”

  “Wow, this is gorgeous in here. You weren’t kidding when you said you had plenty of room for Lois to bake,” Valentina said and smiled. She said hello to all of them and then looked at Kenny.

  “Are you all set?” she asked him.

  Kenny looked at Lois and then Ghost, and then back to Lois.

  “Will you be okay, Mamma?” he asked her and she smiled and gave him a hug. “Of course I will be. Remember, I’m right next door.” He nodded and hugged her and then looked at Ghost again before he grabbed Valentina’s hand and they headed out of the kitchen.

  It was quiet once Kenny left. He glanced at his brothers and their eyes were on Lois as she wiped her hands and then stretched her sore muscles.

  “Come here,” Laverty said to her.

  She stared at him a moment. He smiled. Intimidating, quiet Laverty patted the seat between his legs as he sat on the high stool by the island and gave her a wink. Slowly, she walked over to him.

  He turned her around and then ran his hands up her back to her shoulders. Her eyes closed a moment.

  “You’re working so hard. You haven’t sat down in hours. No wonder you’re so tense.”

  “You’ve been helping me, too. I appreciate it. I don’t know how I can thank you. For everything,” she said and turned her head toward Laverty. He smiled.

  “Spending time with you is plenty thanks. Plus Kenny is getting more comfortable with us, too. That’s important.”

  She tensed a moment and pulled away from him. He squinted his eyes at her but didn’t say anything. Ghost wanted to. He wanted to question her response to his brother’s kind words. It seemed like she didn’t want them to get close to Kenny, or to gain his trust.

  “Those jelly-filled ones smell incredible, Lois. Are they ready yet?” Evan asked. She smiled. “I think so. I hope they taste good. I did use your mom’s jelly preserves she made.”

  “They have to be delicious, combining your sugar cookie and the jelly. Let me try one,” Evan said to her.

  She reached over to the tray and lifted a cookie off the sheet. She held it in her hand and then offered it to Evan, but Ghost was closer.

  Ghost softly took her hand. She tightened up and looked up at him. Even sitting on the stool he looked slightly down into her eyes and then brought the cookie to his lips. His lower lip touched her fingertips as he held her gaze.

  He took a bite of the cookie and remained holding her wrist and hand.

  “Delicious,” he said to her, and when she tried to pull her hand away, he held it firmly. She tried stepping back and he stood up.

  “Ghost, don’t.” She turned away from him.

  He released her hand the moment he saw the change in her eyes from arousal to fear. She walked over to the sink by the window and Evan and Laverty looked at him with questions in their eyes and maybe even a bit of anger toward him. Ghost could be a difficult man. He didn’t do pampering and walking on eggshells. Lois affected him in so many ways it was crazy. He hardly even spoke to her. When he did, he barked or came across aggressive. It was obvious that he intimidated her, but he wondered if there was more to that.

  “What are you so afraid of, Lois? Our sizes, our experience, our ages, what?” he asked her as Ford walked into the room dressed in uniform, obviously just getting off work.

  “It smells incredible in here,” he said and then walked over toward Lois and caressed her back. She tightened up and then the sound of the oven beeping drew her attention.

  She opened the oven door and took out the trays one after the next.

  She hissed a moment as she dropped the pan onto the cooling rack, along with the pot holder.

  Ford closed the oven door as she gripped her hand like she’d gotten burned.

  Ghost went to Lois immediately. He grabbed her hand and pulled it toward the sink. He turned on the faucet, tested the temperature, and ran her hand through the water as he pressed against her back. His cock hardened. He knew she’d felt it and heard her low gasp.

  When he looked at her, she had tears in her eyes and she stared up at him with such fear he wanted to demand for her to stop and tell him what he did.

  “Are you okay? Is she okay, Ghost?” Evan asked. He and Laverty joined them by the sink. They each had a hand on her.

  “I’m fine. It’s not bad. I pulled it away fast,” she said, rambling to him.

  He licked his lower lip. “It isn’t fine, and you didn’t answer my question.”

  She turned around to face him. He caged her in against the counter and stared down into her gorgeous blue eyes. He thought she looked incredibly sexy even with the little dusting of flour on her cheek and in her hair.

  “Why do we scare you? Why do I scare you so much?”

  “You just do.”

  He exhaled. “Can you at least admit that you’re attracted to us like we are to you?”

  She shook her head. He raised one of his eyebrows up at her.

  “No, you don’t feel it, or no, you’re not willing to accept that you feel it?”

  “Why are you doing this? Is this what you do? Demand for a woman to do what you want and admit that she has feelings so that you can control her?”

  He squinted his eyes at her.

  “No, we’re not like that. Haven’t we taken our time with you, and tried to get to know you and become friends first?” Evan asked her.

  She looked at him, but Ghost kept his palm against her waist.

  “I can’t do this.”

  “Why not?” Ford asked firmly.

  “I can’t trust you,” she said to them.

  Ghost stepped back and turned off the faucet, which had remained running.

  Laverty took her hand, brought it up to his lips, and kissed where the redness was.

  “You mean you’re not willing to give us a chance to trust us?” Laverty asked.

  “No. I can’t…I won’t risk it.”

  “Risk what? We’re not going to hurt you,” Evan said to her. She shook her head and closed her eyes.

  “I can’t make the same mistakes. I have to do what’s best for Kenny.”

  “We’re not Kenny’s father, Lois. I don’t know what he did to you, but we’re not him,” Ford said firmly.

  “I don’t know that, okay? I don’t really know any of you.” She looked down and Ghost glanced at his brothers. They wanted her as their woman. They were willing to be patient and to wait, but Ghost suddenly had all these fears. Like if she were so scared from what her ex did to her and to Kenny, what if he hurt her or Kenny, too? What if he awoke in one of his nightmare states and became forceful, yelled, or was worse off in his condition? Perhaps he was better off stepping back and letting his brothers take the lead and have a happy life with her.

  “Get to know us,” Laverty said to her.

  “I’m trying to. Don’t force the issue.”

  Laverty’s eyes widened and Ghost felt the upset at her statement. Were his brothers coming on too strong? Any other woman would have already been in their beds. That thought made him feel like a prick and he knew Lois was more than that. They’d never offered to be a woman’s guardian, but in an instant, meeting Lois for the first time had affected each of his brothers when they made the decision. He had been the last to meet her, and even he felt compelled to protect her.

  “We’re not going to push anything on you. We’re your guardians. Remember that. It means we protect you, watch over you, and help you
with anything we can. So if our guidance, our support, helps you make cookies and package them so you can make money, support your son, and also feel accomplished, then we’re going to do that. Let’s finish up. It’s getting late and we’ll need to get these cookies to the farm early,” Evan said to her and she nodded as he pulled her into an embrace and hugged her. They all watched her stiffen up, but as Evan caressed her back, slowly, Lois wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back.

  * * * *

  The next morning, after Lois and Evan brought up all the cookies to sell and dropped off the special orders, Evan drove her back down to the cottage. The kids were all out at school and Valentina and Grace were over at the men’s house. She had about thirty minutes before she would leave for her therapy session in town at the medical center.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” he asked Lois as they approached the front door to the cottage.

  “No, thank you. I’ll be fine,” she said and unlocked the front door. He held the storm door open and she turned to look at him and felt that scared, uneasy feeling in her gut. She’d talked to Valentina about what happened in their kitchen last night, how she blew them off and probably made them feel bad even though she hadn’t meant to. She was just scared. Each of them were so scary because of their professions, their capabilities, and all those muscles, yet she couldn’t stop thinking about them and wondering what it might feel like to really be cared for and loved. Could they possibly provide the safety and security she and Kenny had never had in their lives, or would they be her next big mistake?

  “Invite me in, Lois. I promised slow, and I meant it.”

  He was so damn good-looking with his dark, short hair, his dark brown eyes, and that tan, gorgeous face. His thick eyebrows made his eyes stand out so much, he could have been a model. She let him in and then he closed the door and she walked toward the kitchen.

  “Can I get you something to drink? Water, iced tea?” she asked.

  “Water is fine. Thank you,” he said to her.

  Lois grabbed two water bottles out of the refrigerator and placed them on the counter. He was right next to her. They both opened the bottles and took sips as they held each other’s gaze.

  “Make sure you’re careful later. There may be a passing thunder storm with torrential downpour.”

  She nodded her head at him.

  He stared down into her eyes and she felt her heart racing. Her palms began to sweat and she placed the water bottle down on the counter and he stepped close to her. The moment his hands landed on her hips, she grabbed on to his forearms.

  “Easy, Lois.” He held her gaze and she felt the one hand on her waist move up her side and then he cupped her cheek and tilted her head up toward him.

  “It’s so hard to not touch you. To not want you close. I’ve never really felt like this before, Lois. It’s not a line. I’m not that kind of man.” He used his thumb to stroke her jaw gently and she felt her belly tighten. Her eyes zeroed in on his lips and she wanted him to kiss her yet feared the consequences of him doing so. She knew if he kissed her that the others would kiss her, and then instead of fearing the intimate touch of one man, she would fear four.

  “God, baby, talk to me. Let me in. Please help me to understand your fears. To know what I can do to help you be happy.”

  She blinked her eyes and felt a tear leak from it. Evan squinted his eyes at her and then brushed the tear away with his thumb. He pressed closer and she gripped his waist with one hand and his forearm with the other.

  They were silent. In her mind she said the words she wanted to say out loud. I’m so scared to be touched. I feel like garbage. So stupid and worthless. I fear for Kenny’s safety and don’t want him to be scared or to see another man or men hurt me.

  Another tear fell.

  “Lois?”

  She shook her head and he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her.

  She found herself letting go in that kiss, in the safety and security of Evan’s big, strong arms. He pulled her closer, wrapped an arm around her waist, and held her tightly as he kissed her lips gingerly. As that kiss grew deeper, his hand moved along her hip to her ass and he squeezed her tighter to him while he plunged his tongue in deeply. She moaned into his mouth, ran her hands along his firm, thick waist and then to his back. They were battling for control of the kiss when she realized this was totally getting out of control. Suddenly, she wanted to take a chance, but the fear held her back.

  He must have sensed her need to slow things down as he eased his mouth from hers, then trailed kisses along her neck and collarbone, then to the V of her blouse. She tilted her head back and ran her fingers through his hair.

  “Oh, God, Evan, this is crazy. I want to let go. I want to believe you won’t hurt me, but the pain, the fear is just stronger.”

  He eased his mouth from her skin and cupped her cheeks with his palms. “It doesn’t have to be, baby. Tell me what’s so scary? Is it our ages, our professions, our intense personalities? I know Ghost scares you and Kenny, but he’s just stuck in his own way, a soldier. He’s been through so much. We all have, and getting back to normal and feeling vulnerable and emotional about things is difficult for a Beret to swallow. But goddamn, baby, do you make it worth all the fears we have.”

  He kissed her again and then released her lips as he pressed his body against hers.

  “It’s not you. It’s me.”

  He squinted at her and licked his lower lip. Her breasts swelled and her pussy actually spasmed.

  “He was abusive and hurt you?” he asked her and she immediately felt the fear, the embarrassment, and the disgust with herself as her eyes filled up with tears and her nose clogged up. She tried swallowing the lump of emotion but couldn’t.

  “Did he hurt Kenny, too? Is that part of your fears? That we’re soldiers, we’re intimidating to the both of you, and remind you of your ex?”

  She shook her head.

  “You’re not him.”

  “If you know that, then why not let us in?”

  “I’m damaged, Evan. I’m too damaged to ever let a man that close to me again.” She closed her eyes and the tears fell. Evan hugged her tightly and caressed her back.

  “You’re not damaged, baby. You’re still healing. A man isn’t supposed to hit his woman, make her feel worthless and so broken. A woman—you, Lois, deserve to be protected, cared for, and loved. So does Kenny. I want to be here for you. I want to learn everything about you and help you feel whole and beautiful again, Lois. You’re so damn beautiful,” he said to her as he pulled back, cupped her cheeks, and kissed her again.

  She let go a little more and kissed him back. When he released her lips, she hugged him tight.

  “I need time and patience, Evan. Lots of time and patience.”

  “You got it. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are my brothers.”

  * * * *

  “You’re so busy trying to fight this, Ghost. Sometimes men who have experienced the things you did need a little help. The sleeping aids aren’t addictive.”

  “It’s not that, Dr. Morgan. It’s the way I feel when I take them,” Ghost said to him.

  “What do you mean? You feel groggy afterward when you wake up?”

  “No.”

  “Then what?”

  Ghost ran his fingers through his hair. He was only talking about this and trying to figure shit out because of Lois and Kenny. The way that kid looked at him like he was a monster made him feel like shit. Then, of course, Lois looked scared of him, too, and his attitude and firmness. Perhaps if he got a decent fucking night’s sleep he wouldn’t be such a prick? He didn’t know what the fuck to think or why he was even changing things and talking like this when Lois deserved better. He just couldn’t get her off his mind.

  “I won’t be ready if something happens during the night. Being unprepared for an attack, even though I know I’m safe at home on the ranch, just doesn’t sit right with me. I feel antsy and combative.”
>
  The doctor nodded his head and exhaled slowly.

  “Now I understand. It’s a natural feeling because of always being on guard and prepared, as a good soldier should be. It’s part of transitioning into civilian life. You have to train your mind to understand that you’re safe. That your brothers are there and they have your back, which is a plus.” Ghost nodded his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Will you give it a try?” the doctor asked him, and Ghost nodded his head.

  Fifteen minutes later, he was walking out of the building and wondering how the hell he was going to talk to his brothers about this and also let his guard down to take the freaking sleep aids. The wind was whipping around and the sky grew darker quickly. He had to park a distance away from the main entrance and was walking a little faster to get there before the rain began to fall. As he headed down the empty path, a few people running for cover as the big raindrops fell, he caught sight of a woman standing by a tree. The hem of the white blouse she wore whipped against her medium-length beige skirt and she gripped it and then turned around. His heart hammered inside of his chest at not only the sight of Lois, but of the red eyes and the tears that ran down her cheeks. He didn’t think. He reacted and headed toward her.

  The rain began to fall and the wind and the sound of thunder echoed around them. He got to her and she pulled her blouse tight and stared at him in shock.

  “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he demanded to know as he caressed her arms and checked her over. He looked around them, thinking someone had hurt her and that, if they were still there, he would hurt them for making her cry.