“I’m…” The tears flowed and she had her palms against his chest, the sensation shooting arousal, excitement, and desire through his body. He was on edge after talking to the therapist.
Their gazes were locked. Her femininity was so appealing and the need to possess her, protect her, was becoming too difficult to resist. When her palms pressed more snugly against his chest and she looked so sensual and needy, he lost that control.
He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close, and kissed her deeply. He heard the thunder crack and she shook in his arms as he pressed her against the tree and continued to kiss her. He felt her hands running over his waist and she was kissing him back, accepting the sensations they were feeling.
The rain began to come down harder, faster, soaking through their clothes. He couldn’t get her close enough to him as he cupped her breast and she moaned into his mouth. The lightning struck and the wind gusted against them and she tightened her hold. He eased his mouth from hers.
“Oh, God, I’m scared.”
He caressed her damp hair away from her cheeks and tilted her chin up toward him. Her blue eyes sparkled and more thunder and lightning clattered in the background, making her gasp.
“You’re safe with me, Lois,” he said to her and then looked at her lips again and kissed her.
The wind calmed down and the rain continued to fall. The temperature had dropped and he felt her shivering. He eased his mouth from hers.
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand and they ran together down the pathway and toward the parking lot.
“This is insane,” he said as the wind blew against them and he felt her teeter to the right. He gripped her hand as she gasped and then laughed.
“The wind is so strong,” she said, sounding fearful.
He got her to the truck, opened the door, and lifted her up and into the front seat before she could even move to do it.
He hurried around to his side and got inside.
He was shocked at the sight. There she was, looking like an angel—a youthful, sexy-as-damn-hell angel—and he knew he was never going to be the same man again.
Water dripped from her thick eyelashes and he had a feeling she didn’t know that her white blouse was so soaked he could see through it to her sheer bra. The light outlines of her areolas were showing, as was the deep cleavage of her breasts.
She wiped her hair from her cheeks.
“I’m getting the truck all wet.”
He reached out and gripped her neck and under her hair and pulled her closer. “I don’t care. I need to taste more of you.” He pulled her close and kissed her deeply.
* * * *
Lois didn’t know what the hell happened. She was so upset after talking with her therapist about her fears and her attraction to the four brothers. She felt so dirty and used. Their conversation had been one she’d avoided for quite some time. The deeper details of the brutality of the rape and how helpless she’d felt being unable to protect Kenny, or stop him from hearing her screams as she was sexually assaulted.
The thoughts now had her pulling from Ghost’s arms and sitting back into the seat.
“Don’t push me away after that. I won’t be able to take it. Not today.”
“I’m not pushing you away. I’m slowing us down. I’m in shock, okay? I can’t believe how I feel right now.”
He took her hand from her lap and brought it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles as the rain pounded against the windows of the truck, creating a blanket of security from the outside world. In here, like this, it was only them and her fears.
“Why were you crying?” he asked her and pulled her closer. She leaned against his side and looked at their hands locked together. His was so much bigger than hers. She felt safe and secure in his arms and with his iron clad thighs against her hip.
“I had a bad session today with the therapist.”
His hold on her hand tightened.
“What happened?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“If it upset you, then maybe we should talk. I had a bad session, too,” he said.
She was surprised as she turned to look up at him.
“You see a therapist?” she asked him. He nodded and then looked away from her and out the window.
It seemed it was difficult for him to admit to that. Maybe because he was a Green Beret and a strong-minded man.
“I started months ago when I first returned from my last tour.”
“Do you have PTSD?” she asked him before thinking.
He brought her knuckles to his lips and held her gaze.
“I won’t hurt you, or Kenny. I just have nightmares at night and don’t get a lot of sleep,” he said to her, almost on the defensive as if she would use his disorder against him or to think less of him. Something inside of Lois clicked—maybe this was common ground or a feeling of him getting what she was going through.
“I don’t think that. At least, not because you’re a soldier with PTSD.”
“Then what are you thinking, right now?” he asked and then reached up with his other hand to push a stray wet hair from her neck.
“That I have nightmares, too, and can’t sleep at night. I don’t eat well, and I’m on edge. You would think after all that baking I did yesterday that I would be exhausted and sleep for hours, but I got like an hour’s sleep maybe.”
“I know how that is. They want me to take sleep aids.”
She snorted. “Yeah, so we sleep and can’t protect the ones we love if something happens,” she stated and his eyes widened.
“You, too?”
She nodded her head.
“I can’t stop the visions, the intense memories of that night, no matter how hard I try. The sleeping aids mask it, but several times I got caught in the nightmare because of them and I felt it all over again. I woke up sweating so badly, and I felt the aches and pains from my injuries as if it had just happened all over again.” Tears filled her eyes and she looked away, only for him to cup her cheek and make her look at him.
“That happens to me, too. The roars of pain amidst the sounds of gunfire and explosions. Me losing my buddies, seeing their torn flesh and thinking I was next.” He stopped talking and looked away. She could see the pain in his eyes and she felt terrible for him. It made her realize she did care for these men more than she wanted to admit. She didn’t think they would understand her fears, or maybe she thought they wouldn’t want her because she was a victim.
She lifted up and cupped his cheek, turning his face toward hers. She had to lift up higher to face him. The feeling of his light whiskers against her palms aroused her, made her feel how strong her attraction to this older, experienced man really was.
“The pain from his hands ripping my clothes off my body, striking me repeatedly while Kenny cried in the background, hearing everything.”
His eyes widened. He shook his head and placed his hands on her hips.
“He didn’t—”
She placed her finger over his lips as the tears fell from her eyes.
“He was so angry, out of control—hitting me, beating me into submission. I didn’t want Kenny to see. I begged for him to hide his eyes so my baby wouldn’t see his father rape me, bend my body over the couch, and yell things, assault me as his friend watched, laughing, and Kenny cried.” He reached up and wiped her tears away and she saw the tears in his eyes, the emotion.
“My God, baby, no wonder you’re so scared.” He pulled her against his chest and hugged her tightly. He caressed her back and rubbed it gently as she sobbed against his shoulder and let it all out.
“He can’t hurt you anymore. You can’t let him win, let what he did to you make you so scared that you can’t live your life. That you can’t make Kenny feel safe.”
She pulled back. “I want him to feel safe.”
“Then you need to surround him with people, with men who will protect him and make him, as well as you, feel safe.”
She stared a
t him and he caressed her lip with his thumb.
“I’m scared, Ghost. If I let my guard down, then I risk Kenny and me getting hurt again.”
“You just let your guard down with me, and I let mine down with you. This is special, Lois. My brothers and I can make you happy. We can protect you and Kenny and take away all those scared feelings so that you never have to worry again.”
She reached up and caressed his jaw as the rain stopped and the sun began to shine almost instantly.
“You’d all still want me, knowing what he did to me? Knowing that being intimate could take a long time?”
He smiled softly.
“Baby, none of us are perfect. We all have our fears, but this chemistry we have, this connection is so damn strong, I know for a fact making love will come easy.”
He kissed her lips softly and she closed her eyes and kissed him back, wondering if what he said was true and hoping with all her heart that it was.
When he pulled back, he looked down and cupped her breast, easing his thumb back and forth over the material. She looked down to where his hand was and her eyes widened at the sight. She pulled her blouse tight. “Oh, God,” she said, feeling her cheeks warm. Then she heard Ghost chuckling deeply. The sound did a number on her body as her pussy spasmed and her breasts yearned to be touched by him again.
He gave her a wink. “Like I said, darling, making love is going to come real easy.”
He pulled her close and held her in his arms, making her feel content and protected like never before.
* * * *
“He did what? And you allowed him to?” Valentina asked as Lois came out of the bathroom after showering and putting on dry clothes. She combed out her hair and plopped down onto the edge of the bed.
Valentina stared at her sister and Lois didn’t continue. She couldn’t even talk. She covered her mouth, nodded her head, and began to cry.
Valentina sat down on the edge of the bed with her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as Lois cried and explained, rambling on about the therapist, being emotional and crying by a tree, the thunderstorm, and then turning to see Ghost. She went on and on, giving every detail about how it all happened and what she was feeling. Valentina felt the tears roll down her cheeks, too, as she smiled widely.
“Are you happy about this development? You like him as much as you like his brothers?” Valentina asked.
Lois turned to look at her.
“I am freaking out right now, Val. Four men, soldiers, brothers want to make me their woman. I don’t know how I can do it. How can I open up to them and give all of me to four men when I don’t even know if I’m capable of giving them anything?”
“Oh, honey, that is not going to be a problem at all. Not if you love them and they love you. You told Ghost you would need time. Hell, you told him what exactly happened that night with Caden. They’re good men, and they will give you all the time you need.”
“I don’t know how to face the others. Ford is so much like Ghost, all tough and demanding and fierce in his tone. I don’t know what Evan and Laverty will say to me. I’m so afraid that they’ll think bad things, or not see me as beautiful,” she said and cried some more.
“I don’t think they’ll think any less of you, Lois. I think they’ll care about you, want to protect you, and love you even more. Look how they are with Kenny. Look how they are with their mom and their dads. That says a lot about a man, right there. We never had anything like this. No family, no bonds, no family gatherings and support. This is exactly what we want for our children, for ourselves and our men are giving that to us because they want us.”
“Our men?”
Valentina smiled.
“Oh, God,” Lois said and covered her face and fell back onto the bed.
Valentina chuckled.
“I guess you’ll be needing some free alone time with your men, so don’t worry, I’ll take care of Kenny,” Val teased.
Lois gave her sister’s arm a slap and then she leaned on her elbows.
“How do you think I should explain things to Kenny?”
“Oh, I think Kenny already understands that you like those men and they like you.”
“He’s scared of Ghost and Ford. Well, mostly Ghost, but that’s because of his deep voice and how much less time he spends around all of us. He adores Laverty and Evan.”
“Then you need to give him time to adjust, too, and to like Ghost and Ford just as much. Maybe do some activities together, just you, Kenny, and the guys?”
“I think there’s a lot more to be done before that. I’ll need to face the others and explain that I need time.”
“They’ll understand. Just be honest with them and ask that they be honest with you.”
“I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t want to screw this up. Getting involved with Caden was a huge mistake and it nearly cost all our lives.”
“Hey, we got out of it just fine and that’s all in the past. None of it can come back to hurt us. Our hands are clean.”
Valentina saw Lois’s eyes widen and then she looked away, but before she could ask her what that was about, Kenny opened the bedroom door and came running inside. “Mommy!” he exclaimed and jumped onto the bed and snuggled next to Lois.
“I’ll finish making dinner and leave you two to snuggle.”
“We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Val smiled and headed out of the bedroom. She saw Sparrow sitting at the island in the kitchen while Grace played in the playpen with her toys.
“Everything okay?” he asked her, opening his arms. She went right into his embrace. She squeezed him tightly and smiled as she watched the kids reading books on the rug and looking so happy.
“Everything is perfect,’ she said, hoping that her sister found love with Sparrow’s cousins.
* * * *
Lois held Kenny close and caressed his blond hair.
He looked up at her with his big blue eyes and her heart soared with love for him. She smiled softly. All she wanted in this world was for him to be safe and feel loved. To know that she would always be here for him to help him succeed in life.
“Do you feel better now, Mommy?” he asked her. He caressed her waist with his little hand. He had been worried that she’d gotten caught out in the thunder and lightning storm. Recently he had taken on this role of trying to be a big boy and be in charge of the family, like the man of the house. He especially did it when Ghost and Storm were around, like he was the man. It was cute and she knew he was protective of her. She wondered how he would feel about her getting involved with the men. Would he be just as worried about her getting hurt as she was? It made her gut clench with such shame.
“Yes, the shower warmed me up. I was safe, buddy. I knew to get to shelter,” she told him and thought about the shelter of Ghost’s big, strong arms. A woman was more than safe in his arms. She felt the twinge of sadness like she missed him and wanted him close. It wasn’t too smart to fall so fast.
Four men? What in God’s name am I thinking?
“Sparrow said that you were with Ghost and he was protecting you from the storm. I’m glad you weren’t all alone ’cause that be real scary.”
“I was with Ghost and we rode out the storm together in his truck.”
He stared at her and then nibbled his little bottom lip. She could see the concern in his eyes and then he whispered to her.
“He’s big and strong like a monster.”
She smirked at him. “Not big and strong like a monster. Big and strong like a man should be. Like a soldier who is capable of protecting people and making sure they’re always safe.”
“Daddy wasn’t as big as Ghost and he hurt you badly,” he said to her as his eyes filled with tears.
Instantly Lois felt her eyes well up with tears and she pulled him close and hugged him.
“Ghost isn’t Daddy. He isn’t going to hurt me like that.”
“Then why are you always crying with Aunt Val after you spend time with Gh
ost, Ford, Laverty, or Evan? They make you cry. I don’t like when you cry,” he said to her.
She chuckled and tears fell at his little words that weren’t so little but instead hit the nail on the head. She wasn’t being strong. She wasn’t allowing the men to prove their trustworthiness or their care of her because she kept comparing them to Caden and what he did. She was doing that and Kenny was, too. She pulled back and wiped his tears. He reached up and wiped hers.
“Kenny, what if I told you that I liked Ghost, Ford, Laverty, and Evan?”
“They make you cry though?”
She shook her head. “No, they don’t make me cry. They make me want things. Want happiness, love, safety, and for me to forget the past and all its dangers.”
“You mean like Aunt Val likes Sparrow, Jace, Ridge, and Beck?” She nodded.
He thought about it a moment and then he squinted at her. “They would be like my dads, like Tye, Lena, and Grace have Sparrow and them?”
She swallowed the emotion she felt from his words. That was pretty damn serious stuff. She didn’t even know if they would think of Kenny in that way or how serious they were or if this attraction was simply lust. God, this was a serious conversation to have with a six-year-old who was so in tune to everything. She ran her fingers through his hair and held his gaze.
“I like them. That’s all for now. I need to get to know them better and to be sure that you’re okay with them and like them, too.”
He gave a small smile.
“I want you to be happy like Aunt Val.”
“Okay, so how about we make a deal? We give Ghost, Ford, Laverty, and Evan some time to show us who they are and we get to know them. Then we can take the next steps and allow them closer.”
He nodded his head.
“Ford told me that I was strong and very smart. That I was the man of the house and needed to watch over you and make sure that you’re not sad and to make you smile. I like him.”
“Oh really? When did you have this little conversation with Ford?” she asked as she sat up. Kenny sat up, too, and got off the bed, then offered her his hand like a gentleman. She smiled and took it and then got up.
The American Soldier Collection 17: Love a Woman Right (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 8
