Well, that’s what I’ll be thinking about while rubbing one off...
Me: Really now?
Payton: Mhmm. Btw, kill me now... He’s talking about saving money on health insurance by getting married… WTF??
Me: Say the word and I’ll come rescue you from douche-nozzle
Payton: I don’t need a prince, I just need a real man who has normal guy problems
Me: Tell him you have to get home to BOB and cut the night short. By the time he realizes what you’re talking about, you’ll be well on your way to orgasm number 2.
Payton: You’re not offering your…time and services? You’re passing me along to fucking BOB?
Me: In due time, sweetheart
I know. I can be a dick, but there was something about Payton that intrigued me yet kept me at an arm’s length away. It’s like she was holding back from letting me get to know her. Hell, I know I’m not going to let her all the way in since we would probably only see each other another handful of times. The problem was that I wanted to dig deeper with her. I hardly knew anything about her, yet I was thinking about her in a hotel room all alone, when she basically told me I could have my way with her. I should have jumped at the chance.
Damn it. No, she needed to be a one night stand—maybe two nights—but no more than that. What was I doing with her? I should have been out at a bar meeting women to have a little fun with and not have the obligation to talk to again since I wasn’t from the area.
Two hours and several Jack and Coke’s later, I was determined that my night at the bar was a waste. None of the women sparked my interest and I just wasn’t feeling it. Sophia, the bartender, looked like she could be one of Charlie’s Angels with her dark brown hair, green eyes, and a perfectly round ass. With her subtle flirting, I was sure she was pulling in some serious tips.
Normally, I would have already chosen which girl I wanted to be with and be well on my way to making her comfortable enough with me to allow her to accept going home with me. My cock didn’t twitch for a single one of them, and he had pretty good judgment, so I trusted him.
“There are quite a few women eye-fucking you right now, Sugar. Why aren’t you taking your pick?” Sophia said as she handed me another Jack and Coke.
“They aren’t what I want.”
“You sure look like they’re what you need. A handsome guy like you? A girl would be crazy not to jump at the chance.” I think she was just trying to make me feel better but I liked her attitude. She was hot enough and seemed like she would understand my need for one night.
“What time do you get off?” I figured why not give her a go.
“The first time or second?” she nonchalantly replied as she made six shots of tequila for a bachelorette party behind me. I couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow her direction.
Yep. She will do just fine.
Payton
My mind did me a favor and apparently had made me forget about how much of a sleazy douche Ryan was. Not only was he boring, he was always trying to get out of paying for shit and made me feel bad for ordering chicken and shrimp. He told the waiter my food was undercooked and that it was unacceptable. That happened while I was in the restroom, so I got to go back to an apologetic manager and a waiter who looked like he was about to cry. I hadn’t eaten it all, but I’d had more than enough to figure out it was cooked just fine. When I gave him my evil glare, he just shrugged his shoulders and said he’d handled it.
I was trying to come up with excuses to leave when Ryder texted me. I wasn’t in a good mood and his texts weren’t making it any better. He told me to fucking use my vibrator instead of going over to his hotel.
I hated myself for feeling a pull toward him. Every time I was with Ryder that day, I wanted to jump him. When he touched me, I felt the connection and it was so unnatural for me, I wasn’t sure what to do with the new feelings. I needed to get a handle on things. After reading his texts, I knew I wasn’t what he went for, anyway. I wasn’t going to let myself fall for him.
I know I smelled bad after my workout, but I figured he would understand. He seemed to enjoy my company in the water, so what gave? After letting Ryan know what a friendly gentleman he was, I quietly excused myself and hailed a cab. He didn’t have to know my leaving the table also meant leaving the restaurant, but I figured he would realize sooner or later that I wasn’t interested. It was just easier on my end. I know, I’m a bitch and should have let him know I enjoyed the night and politely let him know I was leaving, but Ryan didn’t seem to deserve that politeness from me. He needed to realize how much of an arrogant bastard he truly was and I smiled at the thought that maybe I helped him reach that conclusion.
I was done with men for the night and just wanted to get home to a bottle of wine and my DVR recordings of The Vampire Diaries. I needed to get away from San Diego. Ryan had reminded me of why I don’t date, ever. Ryder had been around for all of one day and I was already out of sorts. Guys don’t usually get to me like he did.
*****
I decided to still go to kickboxing the next morning even though I knew Ryder may be there. When I got to the gym, he was doing some ab work.
My oh my!
I went and did some leg work just so I could be behind him and ogle him. He gave me a head nod and a wink when he saw me watching him.
He could totally be one of my new book boyfriend guys. Channing Tatum, Scott Eastfield, and the almighty Ian Somerhalder were some of my repeat models for book boyfriends, but it was always nice to mix it up and get some real guys in the lineup.
The way his muscles bulged as he worked out was insanely hot. He had his Dr. Dre Beats on and was completely in the zone. What was it about guys in a cut off shirt with big ol’ headphones that made a girl want to drop her panties?
Focus, Payton!
I didn’t realize he had gotten off the bench and was making his way toward me. He shorts were hung low and when he lifted his arm to get a drink of water, I could see his happy trail of brown hair along with the V that led down to his manhood. Upon reaching me, he asked, “Can you spot me?” I looked dumbfounded as I thought to myself, Uhh, yeah, I already see you, dumbass! I allowed myself one more gaze over his body but apparently I wasn’t discrete enough.
“Earth to Payton, I need a spotter sometime today.” He had that sideways grin that made my core tingle.
“Sure. Of course. How was your night? Do anything fun and exciting?” He gave me a questioning gaze as he settled onto the bench. Did I bring up something he didn’t want to talk about?
“Nothing worth discussing. What about you?”
“Oh, it was just dandy. After leaving Ryan at the restaurant, I had quite a night with Damon and Stefan.” Ryder glanced at me while finishing up a set and setting the bar back in position. He was breathing heavily and his arms were glistening with sweat. Even sweaty, he looked delectable.
“Sounds like it didn’t quite go as planned. I thought you would have been out with Ryan later.” He seemed nervous and a bit…upset? He was adding more weight to the bar for his next go around.
“Nah, I knew I needed to leave after the asshat ordered me a salad.” I was trying to lighten the mood but he still seemed unsettled.
“Well, I’m glad you found something better to occupy your time with, Payton. You look like you’ve had a long night.”
“How sweet of you.”
His eyes were a darker shade of blue than before. His fists were tightening and releasing at a rapid speed. “I forgot I’ve got to be somewhere. Good seeing you. Catch ya later, Payt.” With that he left without looking back.
I had a weird sense that he was upset with me but couldn’t figure out what the hell I had done, or why I cared.
Kickboxing was already half over, so I decided to just do a little cardio and call it a day. I couldn’t get thoughts of Ryder out of my mind. I wish I could say they were just sexual thoughts, but I wanted to see him again, wanted to see him smile, and wanted to feel close to him. I listened to Bleed It
Out by Linkin Park on repeat during my run to try to get in the zone but it was a waste of time.
Shortly afterward, I realized my workout was useless and decided to meet up with Chloe to have a little girl time. We met at the nail salon and gossiped over which of our friends were getting engaged, which were rumored to be pregnant, and who the daddy could be.
It was what Chloe was good at—distracting me from my life by talking about how ridiculous the lives of our former classmates were. She was always in the know but could keep a secret when necessary. Thankfully, she knew how important it was for me to keep my book under my pen name and not have anyone find out it was me who wrote it. Maybe someday I’ll come out and let people know I’m Reece Edwards, but at that time, it was still my current life and I didn’t have plans to change it.
I filled her in on meeting Ryder and how I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Our talks were normally her telling me about guys who were worthy of dating because of their career, family background, and portfolio, followed by me shooting each and every one of them down. While she had been with Grayson for years, it didn’t mean she wasn’t looking to upgrade if she saw something better. Grayson was convenient for her and seemed to treat her well. He seemed a little fake to me, but she obviously saw something in him to keep him that long. She wasn’t a saint, but she’d been there for me through all of my tough times, and I had learned not to care about her ways with men. She knew that I didn’t really care about a guy’s ‘stats’ since I wasn’t exactly looking for a ring anytime soon.
“So, have you had a chance to ride the Ryde?” She couldn’t even say it without snickering. Albeit, it was funny.
“That’s not all that I care about, Chlo!” I joked with her, “I also like long walks along the beach and candlelit dinners.” Ah, fuck. I guess our rendezvous on the beach yesterday kind of counted as romantic, right?
“He’s kissed you from what it sounds like. So what? You’re spending way too much time thinking about some random who isn’t even going to be here in a few weeks, anyway. This is so unlike you. He should be the perfect guy for you since he doesn’t live here and you won’t have to see him after the fun is over. This is almost like Vegas being hand delivered to you! Have fun with him if you want, but don’t let him get to you. If that doesn’t work for you, why not just head over to sin city and really get your mind off him. I could come with this time?”
She always offered to go with me and I always turned her down. I went there to escape reality for a few days and relax. If I found a cute guy while I was there, it was a bonus. If I brought Chloe with me, we would have to go shopping, do touristy things, and only go to the newest and hottest bar. I liked to stay more low-key and go with the flow while I was there. Chloe was the opposite of that.
I think Chloe was right. I couldn’t let Ryder get close to me, that fact I knew for sure. We could only be fuck buddies, and that would be it. That way, when he left, it wouldn’t hurt. I could get away for a few days and Vegas was definitely the place to forget about Ryder. That’s what I needed, but my body was calling bullshit.
When I got home from getting my nails done, I had already made up my mind that I would start a load of laundry, pull out a bottle of Moscato, and figure out where I went next with my writing career. I wasn’t sure if I should just keep writing children’s books or stick with fun and dirty writing. Children’s books were fun, easy, and stress free, but it was hard coming up with stuff that hadn’t already been written. It took me twenty-five topics to search for before finding one that hadn’t been written about multiple times.
I hadn’t planned on writing about different types of parents, but there weren’t many stories talking about what kind of life I went through. My first book was about adopted children and how foster families can be just as loving as real homes and that was how my writing niche was born. My next book dealt more with losing a parent and how, in time, the pain lessens but doesn’t ever go away. I made sure to include how using the support of friends and family can help the process and things will start getting a little better every day. It wasn’t my favorite topic, but I was knowledgeable on the subject and wanted to provide first hand experiences.
I was curious how it would feel to write another ‘adult book’ but make it mainly fictional next time. I could write the characters to have their own quirks with some major plot twists that would grab the reader’s attention. Since I used Tracy Lowe as my pen name for children's literature, I could still write under Reece Edwards for any new ‘smut’ books that I wanted to publish. The more I thought about it, the better it sounded. I liked the idea of creating my own path for my characters instead of one that had already been laid out.
After laundry was completed, I grabbed my glass of wine, my laptop, and my mail and settled down into my comfy recliner. I wasn’t too fond of using my trust fund for anything but major purchases like my house and car, so I when I got my first decent size check from My Lips Are Sealed, I splurged and bought a chaise lounge and a comfy recliner so that I had a place to read and a place to write.
If I was writing, I would also be drinking. A little alcohol allowed me to be more creative and open-minded to different scenarios that played out in my head. I opened up my mail while I was waiting for my laptop to turn on and skipped the bills to see if I had anything worth looking at.
Shit. Really?
I held yet another letter that had the power to make my heart skip a beat and check to make sure the doors were locked. There was never a return address or postage on them which led me to believe it was purposely placed by hand in my mail box. The first letter was sent to me a month or so before and it simply stated, “I know who you are.” I took it as a joke but saved the note in my filing cabinet just in case.
Something about it gave me the creeps but it seemed harmless. The envelope that was in my hands had the same wax seal that the first one had. No one used wax seals anymore! That alone creeped me the fuck out. The wax was a deep red shade and the seal was a simple but elegant R. Without even opening the note, I was freaking out a tad bit. Not many people knew where I lived and I made a point to not bring guys over.
I broke the seal and carefully pulled the letter out of the envelope. A Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrapper fell out along with it.
Sweet like candy. Be careful not to overindulge.
I dropped the letter along with the candy wrapper as if it was on fire. They knew who I was and knew where I lived. I expected a few people to find out randomly; I probably wasn’t the best at covering my tracks, but I thought it would be innocent fans who I could give a paperback to and they’d be on their way. This seemed more dark and twisted. I felt like I should burn the letter but decided it was best to file it away with the first one. At least if I wound up dead in some alley, the police may find them and figure out who the sick person was.
Needless to say, writing was not going to happen after that incident. I checked all the windows and locks before setting my security alarm and curled up with a blanket and watched Vampire Diaries. I found myself able to think about the problems on the show instead of my real life problem. I could deal with it another day; I needed time to process what the hell was happening and didn’t like the conclusions I was coming up with so far.
Ryder
Seeing Payton in her short shorts and tank top almost made me drop the weights I had in my hands. I wanted to see her again but didn’t want to look desperate. I decided to work my arms since it would be the most noticeable immediately afterward. My arms always looked their best right after a workout and I made a habit of doing a little arm work before dates. It was a trick I learned in high school and had just become routine for me.
I know I was trying to impress Payton and wasn’t even sure she would be at the gym. I also knew that I needed to meet with an old friend at some point while in town but wasn’t ready for that yet. In the meantime, I thought I could at least see where things go with Payton, hence why I was at the gym two days in a row while out of town.
God she was beautiful.
I tried to focus on my ab work while knowing she was behind me. The wall in front of me was all mirrors so I knew the instant she got on the machine behind me. I was curious why she didn’t come up to talk to me but I would be able to eye-fuck her as I worked out. Seeing her legs in short shorts never got old and her motivation and dedication was clear when you looked into her eyes.
After my night with the bartender, I knew getting Payton out of my system was not going to be an easy task, so I came to the conclusion that I should give in a bit and have some fun with her.
The dark circles under her eyes made it apparent she had been up pretty late. With the texting that occurred last night, I had my doubts that she spent a great amount of time with Ryan. I know I turned her down last night but I was conflicted.
Just seeing her tits squeezed into that hot pink sports bra made me want to take her on the bench in front of everyone. I was in a constant state of arousal around her.
I had planned on teasing her a bit and apologizing for last night, but when she started talking about other guys, I lost it. While Sophia had amazing tongue and hip skills, she wasn’t doing it for me and I kept picturing myself with Payton. I was finally able to get off when I started picturing Payton being the one riding me instead. Then I instantly felt guilty for using her and rejecting Payton’s offer.
Payton obviously had the same idea as me. I couldn’t help but wonder if her flirting with me was just part of her normal personality or if she was at least attracted to me.
I didn’t want to hear anymore of how amazing her night was and had to get out of there. I wanted to hang out with her more but didn’t know how to get past the jealous feelings I had going on, which by the way, I had no idea where they were coming from. The whole reason I went to the gym today was to get to see her again and I ended up leaving after thirty minutes.
Sinfully Page 4
