Fuck.
I made the decision to give Tristen a call. I know I should have talked to him months ago, but I just wasn’t there yet. He probably hated me, but the longer I dragged things on, the further apart I knew we would grow.
I went back to the hotel to shower and tried to think about what I was going to say when I saw him. We had been best friends since first grade and used to talk or hang out a few times a week. I could only imagine the earful I was going to get when I got to the beach.
Chapter 5
Payton
I wanted to see him again. I hated that my mind kept wandering to thoughts about him, which was not okay. He seemed so genuine the first time we hung out and seemed to be a totally different person the day before. Before getting him out of my system, I wanted to at least spend a little quality time with him. After booking my room in Vegas, I decided to text him.
Me: Meet with me?
Ryder: I’m with an old friend right now, come by my hotel at 8? I’m in suite 3404. I’ll let them know to let you up.
Me: That’ll work, see you soon
I still had three hours before meeting up with Ryder, so I decided I’d check my emails and get caught up on my life on social media. I noticed I had an email from R. Strom about my book and would be lying if I wasn’t smiling at the thought that he was still trying to get me to sign with him. He also didn’t seem as old and boring as I thought.
I know it probably wasn’t the most professional email I could have replied with, but damn him, he was flirting, too. I didn’t really intend on ever meeting with him so I decided it could be fun to mess with him a little.
Whenever I was on Facebook, I would check to see if readers had posted on my page and tried to respond to any questions or messages readers had. I had numerous questions about when and where I would be signing next but didn’t have the heart to tell them ‘never.’ I always responded by letting them know I was working on research and didn’t have anything coming up.
I was, however, generous on giving away copies of my books to bloggers and readers to help keep my name out there. I gave in by sending signed paperbacks to fans who requested them. That way, they got what they would want from a book signing, they just didn’t get to meet me.
After getting ready to meet up with Ryder, I decided to not overanalyze the situation and to live in the moment. He’d be a welcomed distraction from the letter I received earlier. I would be leaving for Vegas in the morning and wanted to see him before I left. I knew it may be the last time I saw him but I wanted to at least know the feeling I felt the day before was mutual.
Ryder
Meeting with Tristen had been harder than I thought. Seeing him brought back all the memories of Cami like it was yesterday. God I miss her so damn much. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel the guilt of not being able to help her. To be honest, the first time I’d been back in the water since that day ten months ago was the previous day with Payton. San Diego used to be our ‘go to’ spot and we could spend the entire day at the beach without even realizing it. So much had changed, yet it still felt like nothing had at the same time.
Tristen and I met at the beach at his request. I guess he was more comfortable being out there, but I didn’t see a board around, so I figured he hadn’t planned on going into the water.
“I forgot how much you look like her,” he said, coming up and giving me a hug before sitting in the sand.
“I heard that happens when you’re fraternal twins.”
We sat in silence for what felt like hours. God I don’t want to do this. Seeing him was opening up emotions I’ve kept hidden for the better part of ten months and I wasn’t ready for them to all come spilling out at that moment.
“I miss you, bro. I know it’s been rough for you and I’m glad you finally made it down here, man.” Tristen had gone to college with Cami and me, but he moved to San Diego two years before and roomed with Cami while I stayed in L.A. with the publishing company.
They had tried to persuade me to move down there with them, but I knew my life was set up to be in publishing and to take over the company one day. I was able to visit at least once a month and they visited me as well. It all worked out pretty well until last July when everything changed.
“Have you been out in the water lately?”
“Nah, man, lately I’ve just been coming down here when I need to get away from everyone else. I come here when I need advice or need to get something off my chest. This is where I feel closest to her. I haven’t surfed again, though. I really just come down and put my legs in and lie on the beach.”
I could tell he spent a lot of time down there. Besides his shaggy, beach-blond hair, he had a deep tan that stood in stark contrast to his light green eyes. He wasn’t a pretty boy, but he definitely got attention from women, even though he hardly ever reciprocated.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before attempting to respond. He seemed to realize it was going to take me a minute and waited patiently. Cami always loved how patient and relaxed Tristen was.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you sooner, man. I’ve thought about you and how hard this must be for you, too. I mean, you lived with her and were as close as friends could be. I got in the car to come see you a few times but never made it out of the city.”
I forgot how easy it was to talk with him. He had that personality that got you to spill your guts without even realizing it. I used to hate him for that very thing but was finding it comforting at the time. I hadn’t talked to anyone about Cami in a while and it was nice to know he had amazing memories of her just like I did.
He seemed lost in thought, trying to figure out the right thing to say. The silence between us allowed us both to reflect on how things used to be when we were all together.
“Ryder, jeez, why did it have to be her? She was perfect. She was one of the good ones. She was going to be a child psychologist; she wanted to help people. She was my everything.” His head hung between his legs and I knew he was crying but didn’t want to publicize it.
“I know, I’ve told myself the same thing. She seemed so happy, I mean, even more than normal right before it happened. You know?”
Tristen lifted his head and looked at me as if I shouldn’t have known that about her. It took me for a loop and I was a little confused.
“Did she ever talk about…us?”
“She was always talking about what the two of you were doing. You were inseparable, so of course she talked about you guys together.” I still wasn’t sure why he had a torn look on his face.
“Ryder, I meant, did she ever mention us?” It took me a second to register what he had been trying to tell me. I was such a bad friend and brother. How did I not know they were in a relationship? The signs were there but I never put two and two together.
I realized I still hadn’t responded and saw sadness and guilt wash over his face. “She hadn’t formally mentioned it, no. I didn’t realize, Trist. I am so, so sorry, bro. I should have been there for you through this. We could have dealt with it together.”
He seemed relieved for a moment then broke down again. In all the years I’d known him, I had never seen him cry like that. I was at a loss for words and didn’t do the best in situations like that. I never knew the right thing to say or do. It was part of the reason I had been dealing with the loss alone.
“I am glad you came down here. I’ve wanted to talk with you for a while but never knew when it would be okay to talk about her with you.”
“Tristen, you can always talk to me about her. She will always be a part of us and will always be watching down on us. I promise to be here for you from now on.”
“Thanks, man, I appreciate it.”
“I’ve got to get running, but why don’t we meet up Friday down here? It’s her…our… birthday.” I hoped that wasn’t too much on him, but I really thought we should spend it together, remembering the good times instead of thinking about her not being there with us that year.
Getting up and brushing the sand off his pants, he called out as he started making his way back up to the parking lot, “I had already planned on spending my day down here with her. See you then, Ryde.”
I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do. I didn’t get the chance to stay and talk with her the day before and felt like I needed to spend a few minutes alone on the beach so I could talk with her. Tristen was right about the fact that I could feel her presence there. I missed her so damn much it hurt.
Feeling the sand slide between my fingers, I welcomed the grainy feel and relished having the sun beat down and warm the sand and my skin. The beach used to be my safe haven, but ever since the accident, it plagued my nightmares.
Closing my eyes, I tilted my head toward the sky and began a conversation that was long overdue. Even before I began to speak, I could feel the lump in my throat growing bigger by the second, but I needed to do it.
“Hey, sis. How ya hanging up there? I hope they have some of the biggest waves up in heaven for you to surf. I miss hearing your laugh and all the curse words that flowed freely no matter who you were talking to. I think Tristen really misses you, too. Thank you for watching over him while I wasn’t around. It was shitty of me, but I know you’ve been looking down and keeping us safe, Cam. I’m sorry I haven’t come down to visit you more. Can you believe we’re going to be twenty-eight on Friday? I’ll be here to spend the day with Tristen and you. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw some fireworks light up the sky at night. You always did like to go out with a boom. Goodnight, Cami. Sweet Dreams.”
I ended up leaving the beach a half hour later and knew I was in no condition to be an active participant in hanging out with Payton. The problem was that I wanted to be near her and see her again already. I made it back to the hotel in no time and was in the shower at twenty minutes to eight. As I made my way out of the bathroom, my phone buzzed, indicating a message from Zoe.
Zoe: Long time no see stranger. I miss you, how have you been?
Ugh, I did not need her texting me at that moment. We hadn’t spoken in two years and didn’t really have anything to talk about. Every time she and her latest boyfriend broke up, she would try to get in touch with me. I decided I didn’t owe it to her to even respond but I highly doubted she would let up. I’d probably be getting phone calls and voicemails by the next day if I didn’t say something. Needless to say, she was a cold-hearted bitch and I couldn’t believe I wasted two years with that cheating whore. But hey, no hard feelings, right?
Me: Now’s not a good time Zoe. Have a great life
I heard a faint knock on the door and realized I had gotten sidetracked and was still in a towel. Looking down, I knew she would be perfectly fine with me greeting her that way. I couldn’t help but saunter over to the door with a smile on my face.
I swung open the door to find her fidgeting with the zipper of her purse and biting her lip. She smelled heavenly—floral with a hint of spice. When she looked up at me, her eyes gave her uncertainty of the situation away. I wasn’t sure what made her feel that way, but was sure I’d be able to make her feel at ease as the night progressed.
“Hey there, sweetheart. Ready for some fun? Come on in and make yourself comfortable.” I stepped aside, giving her free reign to walk on in, but she stayed in the hallway, not moving an inch. She gave me a onceover before looking back into my eyes.
“I was scared this wasn’t your room. Uhh. Umm. Why aren’t you dressed?” She was pretty cute. Payton was just openly staring at me and blushing red in embarrassment. She was fidgeting with her fingers, showcasing her nervousness.
“I was just about to; I lost track of time. Make yourself at home and I’ll go change. Want something to drink? You can raid the mini bar while you wait.”
“Nah, I’m good. This view is amazing!” She stepped in further toward the floor-to-ceiling windows, taking in the view of the city to one side and the beach to the far left. I watched her for a moment before heading to get ready.
“I’m flattered, really, but I don’t think I should stay in just a towel all night. It would be a hassle trying to keep it closed.” I love fucking with her.
She gave me that ‘you think you’re so clever’ look and turned back toward the windows.
As I strode to the master bedroom, I decided to keep the door open, just in case she decided to walk on by. I dropped my towel while pulling out a new pair of boxer briefs and changed into them before looking for my black jeans and grabbing a white Henley shirt. Realizing that she probably wasn’t going to be taking a peek, I met her back out in the main room and turned on some music before motioning her to have a seat on the couch with me. She seemed unsettled with being alone in my room with me but she was the one who spoke first.
“You left the gym in a hurry this morning. You seemed a little on edge. Is everything alright?”
I contemplated my answer to her question for a moment. I left the gym because I didn’t want to hear about her and other guys, but also knowing that I had to meet with Tristen added fuel to the fire.
“I’ve just got a lot going on. Nothing to worry about. I’m glad you wanted to come over, though.” I wanted to touch her, even if it was just on her thigh, but I didn’t want to scare her off. From the look in her eyes, she looked like she was ready to run. I moved my arm so that it was draped over the top of the couch as an inviting gesture but she stiffened immediately.
“It was probably stupid for me to drop by. I’m not really sure what I’m doing here. I should go.”
I noticed her glancing between my eyes and lips and wanted to taste her so badly. In the dress she wore, her perky breasts were just begging to be grabbed, nibbled, and sucked. Oh the things I could do to her. She wanted me, but was scared for some reason. I could see the war going on behind those deep blue eyes. Her passion and desire were trying to be tamed by logic.
I needed to kiss her. She was waiting for me to tell her to stay or go and her leaving right then wasn’t an option. Her lips had a slight gloss to them and I lost all coherent thoughts. Leaning toward her, she instantly followed suit and moved an inch closer as well. Payton looked up at me with questioning eyes. I grabbed the back of her head and brought her within an inch of my lips, feeling her breath against my skin.
“I think you should stay,” I whispered right before my lips touched hers. A shiver coursed through her body and the sensation drove me insane. She let me lead the kiss and opened her mouth with no question when my tongue traced against her lips. She moved closer to me with one hand playing with my hair and the other on my thigh, teasingly close to my swelling cock. She didn’t move that hand any further up but it was close enough to drive me crazy. She moved toward me with motive, straddling me on the couch as she rubbed herself against my hardness. Oh sweet Jesus I could feel her warmth and smell her arousal. She began kissing me passionately all the while grinding herself against my cock. My raging hard-on was pressed uncomfortably against my jeans and I didn’t know why I bothered changing out of the towel. All I could think about was tasting her, making her beg for it, and then finally taking her.
My hands began at the edge of her dress and slowly started massaging her thighs, working my way inward. I loved how toned her legs were and thought about them being wrapped around my waist, tightening as she came for me. Before getting to her wetness, I glided over her toned stomach and took her succulent breasts into my hands, all the while kissing her neck and moving my lips lower to her chest. I wanted to get her out of those clothes and devour every inch of her body. The noises coming from her were so fucking sexy I would be glad to last two minutes, but that just meant there would be a few rounds that night, of which I was game.
Before I could get her dress and bra off, Payton had moved my hand back down between her legs, showing me what she really wanted.
Holy hell, she isn’t wearing any panties. I looked up and she shrugged her shoulders, all the while smirking deviously.
I wasn’t expecting that. I was happy to oblige. I
wasn’t used to a girl showing me exactly what she wanted and fuck me it was a turn on. She continued kissing me and riding my hand as I slid two fingers into her tight, wet pussy. She was slick with want and having her pulse around my fingers was incredible.
“Fuck, you’re wet for me, baby. Is this what I do to you?” Her response was a moan and I accepted that answer. I could feel her tighten around my fingers, so I slowed up a bit, drawing out her pleasure.
“Oh, Ryder, please don’t stop. I need this.” She opened her eyes slowly, showing the desire and want she had for me.
“Mmm, Payton, I need to taste you. I’ll let you come, but not until I get what I want.” With that, I took her in my arms and laid her on the couch with me still in between her legs. She wasn’t lying when she said she was waxed. It was magnificently smooth and slightly swollen with want, just waiting for me.
Using my tongue on her clit to form slow circles and sucking occasionally, I inserted my fingers and curled them just a little to reach her spot. I was able to feel her birth control ring and silently cheered for that. The arching of her back gave me the idea that she was enjoying it as much as I was. I wanted to be inside her so damn badly that I was actually in pain, but I wanted to feel her pulse around my fingers and taste her as she came for me.
She began writhing against me and pulled my face closer to her clit. When she started coming for me, I switched my fingers for my tongue and kept pressure on her clit with my thumb. She tasted so sweet and was screaming my name as she rode the wave. I licked her sweetness clean, and when I looked up, she had the most content look on her face. No other woman had ever tasted so delicious that I wanted to go back for more the moment I brought her to ecstasy.
Sinfully Page 5
