Untamed Cowboy
Page 10
Dallas’s expression was carefully blank. “So, did you just come in here to lecture me on how everything is going to be rainbows and puppy dogs from now on?”
“No. I came in to tell you that you’re going to be cleaning some puppy dog cages, though,” Kaylee said, making that decision on the fly. “I don’t have very many dogs in residence at the moment, but they’re going to need their cages cleaned, and Rufus the mutt is probably going to need to be walked. He’s going to be able to go home later today—he just had a minor surgery, so he’s moving a little bit slow, but some exercise would do him good.”
“I don’t like animals,” Dallas said.
“Why?”
“They’re pointless.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Animals are important. Even if you don’t like them as pets, don’t tell me you’ve never eaten a steak. In which case, you definitely appreciate animals in one way at least.”
“I don’t understand pets,” he said.
“There’s nothing to understand. They keep you company. They love you. You love them.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“Well, you can ponder the merit of dogs while you clean cages.”
“And if I don’t?”
Kaylee shrugged. “I can’t make you. I mean, I can turn the Wi-Fi off, but I can’t make you. And I’m not going to. But here’s the thing. I asked you to, Dallas. I think that should mean something. Because someday you might ask me for something, and you’re going to want me to do it, and I will. That’s community. That’s friendship. That’s depending on people.”
“You’re really not my... Bennett’s girlfriend?”
“Really not,” she said, ignoring the slight tug at the center of her chest. “So, I have no special influence over him. I’m never going to be your stepmother. I’m really just someone who wants to get to know you. And wants to help you figure life out. And someone who doesn’t want to clean up dog poop this morning.”
Dallas stood up, the expression on his face strange. As if he couldn’t really understand why he was doing it. “Okay. Show me where the stupid dogs are.”
“I don’t have any stupid dogs,” she said, schooling her expression into one of total seriousness.
“Really?”
“They’re good dogs, Dallas.”
He let out an exasperated sigh. “Do you want me to clean up the dog poop or not?”
“I definitely do. Follow me.”
As they walked out of the break room, Kaylee smiled to herself. Maybe she was a secret teenager whisperer, or something. She didn’t have any experience with kids, so she hadn’t really expected to find a connection with him.
But she was glad to know that she had.
Dallas mattered to Bennett. And that meant he mattered to her too.
She would do anything for Bennett.
She tried to ignore that thought as it tumbled around inside of her brain, repeating itself throughout the day.
It would be better if she wouldn’t do anything for Bennett. She just needed to break the cycle.
Too bad there was a wrench thrown into her gears.
She looked over at Dallas, who was doing his best to wrangle Rufus. Yes. There was most definitely a wrench. But it remained to be seen what effect that was going to have.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BENNETT HADN’T REALLY known how he was supposed to break the news to his family gently. So, he decided that he would do his best to make it quick, and to make it so he had to tell the story only once. That meant asking everybody to come for dinner at Wyatt’s house on the Get Out of Dodge property. He knew that making a cryptic command like that would cause everybody to be a little bit concerned. And he didn’t want to say anything leading like I have an important announcement either. Because then they might think he was sick, or moving to a commune or something.
Probably, they all just thought he wanted to get together to continue to process the reality of Olivia having another man’s baby.
He shook his head and laughed for no reason at all really because what the hell was funny? He kind of longed for the days when that seemed like the most shocking bit of information he could possibly get in a year.
He hadn’t really thought of Olivia at all since Dallas had showed up.
He swung into the Valley Veterinary parking lot, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He was picking Dallas up and then Kaylee was going to follow them over to the ranch. He had checked in on them at lunch, and everything seemed fine. Dallas had been—surprisingly—helping Kaylee wrangle some of the animals that had come in, and he didn’t seem overly put upon by it either.
Kaylee, for her part, didn’t seem especially put upon either. He could tell that this morning she had been a little bit irritated with him over leaving Dallas at the clinic. But it had seemed like the best option. Forcing the kid to ride around in a truck with him all day wouldn’t have worked. Though, he had expected Dallas to hole up in the break room. He certainly hadn’t expected him to engage in the goings-on of the practice.
He took a deep breath and killed the engine on the truck, getting out and heading into the little yellow cinder block building that he and Kaylee had painted themselves when they had first started out.
He pushed the door open and found Dallas sitting at the front desk, looking at the computer.
“Hi,” Bennett said.
“Hi,” Dallas returned.
“Did you have a good day?”
“Everyone is obsessed with me saying today is good.”
“The alternative is that it’s bad,” Bennett said.
“No. It’s not. It was just a day.” He let out a slow breath. “I...did stuff with animals. It was weird.”
“But not boring?”
“It wasn’t Xbox,” Dallas said, crossing his arms and leaning back in the swivel chair. The serious expression on his face was so familiar it was surreal. That same, stubborn Dodge expression he had seen on any of his brothers countless times. Or in the mirror.
“Well, nothing is,” Bennett said. “Except Xbox. Obviously.”
“True.”
Kaylee came out from one of the exam rooms, her red hair pulled back into a ponytail, her brow crinkled. She looked between them. “Everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” Bennett said, finding it strange the way that Kaylee positioned herself between himself and Dallas.
But then, he had left Dallas with her all day, and she hadn’t ignored him. Which kind of surprised Bennett in some ways. He didn’t imagine Kaylee as being particularly maternal. Not that she wasn’t. Not that she didn’t like kids, it was just that she didn’t seem to ever go out of her way to spend time with them. She never talked about longing for a husband or children or anything like that.
And yet, she seemed to have taken the reins of this situation capably.
Guilt crept up the back of his neck. He shouldn’t have left him with her today. He should have taken Dallas with him no matter what the kid said he wanted.
“He was great,” she said, smiling at Dallas. “I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that. I mean, he was a total monster. Rebellious. Uncontrollable.”
Dallas rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure I have dog shit on my pants. There’s no protecting my street cred at this point.”
“Sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry at all.
“Time for the big family dinner,” Bennett said.
“I’ve never been to a family dinner in my life. They sound horrible,” Dallas said, still sitting resolutely in the chair.
“I don’t know how it will be,” Bennett said honestly.
“Can’t we just, like...call?” Dallas asked. “Hey, surprise. I exist.”
“You have to meet them all eventually. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off.”
Dall
as lost control of his face for just a moment. He looked vulnerable. Uncertain. And that made Bennett feel bad. Like there was something he should be doing differently. Except he didn’t think there was a way to navigate this that wouldn’t make people feel uncomfortable or emotional. His brothers and sister were going to have a reaction to this. He was going to have to get the news to his father over the phone, and he was going to have a reaction to it. He couldn’t protect himself or Dallas from that fact.
“It’s going to be fine,” Kaylee said, reaching out and squeezing Dallas on the shoulder. “Tonight, I have a feeling it’s going to be a little bit overwhelming. But they need you. I mean, that’s what it’s going to feel like to them. They’re going to be happy. And you need to let them have that.”
“Right,” Dallas said. “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”
He got up and walked toward the single-use bathroom at the back of the clinic, leaving Bennett and Kaylee alone.
“He doesn’t have to be strong for my family,” Bennett said. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on a kid.”
Kaylee shrugged. “I spent the day with him. He’s not comfortable needing anyone. I have a feeling the only way he’s going to get through this is to think that they might need him. I’m just trying to help.”
“Yeah, but I’m his dad,” Bennett said.
“And you left him with me today,” Kaylee said, crossing her arms. “Plus, I relate to the kid, Bennett.”
He looked at his friend, at her eyes sparkling with conviction. Kaylee wasn’t an emotional person. She was coolheaded and steady. The one you wanted on your side in any situation. But she didn’t look cool and steady now. She looked...she looked like fire. And it made him wonder if she would be that hot if he were to touch her.
“Why?” he asked.
“My parents are drunks,” she said baldly, shifting position. “I know I make jokes and stuff, and I know you know I’m not close to them. But it’s more than that. I just... I don’t like talking about it.”
“You won’t talk about,” he said. “Not beyond small comments here and there. I’ve asked you and...”
“Why do you think I never had you over? It’s not just because my house is small or I was embarrassed. It’s because it was a mess, and my mother was probably passed out somewhere. I didn’t want you to know. I wanted to leave my house for the day, close the front door and go out into a world that wasn’t about that. I don’t want to think about it now, or talk about it. We built a better life and I want to live it, not think about a past I didn’t choose and never wanted to be part of.”
“Kaylee,” he said. “If it hurts you then I care about it. I want to know about it.”
She gritted her teeth, her eyes glittering with that stubborn fire that was essentially Kaylee. When that woman dug in, there was no getting her to move. “It’s not important. You know who I am. The details of my home life don’t change that. We’ve been best friends since we were thirteen. The life I had at Get Out of Dodge...that’s what I chose to let shape me. Your family was real to me, they mattered. Your dad. The ranch, the animals, you.”
He imagined Kaylee at Dallas’s age, all elbows and knees and boldness. He hadn’t known that her home life was quite so bad. He’d have thought something like that would make a person shrink, and Kaylee was anything but small.
But he could see it in Dallas. That hot, burning anger that flared up sometimes in his dark eyes. The stubborn set to his chin. And the occasional surprising and wicked sense of humor. It was strange to see a reflection of her in his son. But he did.
“I relate to Dallas,” she said. “He’s been through a hell of a time. He was neglected. Left at home sometimes from when he was seven years old, Bennett. It’s going to take him a long time to admit that he might need somebody. To admit that he deserves love. I’m just trying to put it in a way that it would have made sense to me when I was his age. So that he can... I don’t know. Accept your family now instead of spending years being too afraid to let them close.”
His heart turned over in his chest, and he wanted to...do something. Reach out to Kaylee. Touch her. Offer comfort. She had never said that she was neglected. She had never seemed like she was.
Kaylee had always been a practical, self-contained force of nature. He knew her parents weren’t involved. She didn’t see them all that often, and she seemed okay with it. But people were varying degrees of close with their families.
And now he was justifying. Justifying how he hadn’t realized that she wasn’t simply distant from her parents. That it was more.
“Kaylee, we need to talk about this.”
“No, we don’t. You have enough going on without worrying about me and ancient history. It’s stuff I’ve sorted out, Bennett. But like I was telling your son today, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t learned that sometimes needing people, letting people be in your life, is important. Is necessary. You mean the world to me. You always have. You showed me that people were good. You taught me to ride horses and run barefoot in fields and...and that depending on someone doesn’t always end in disappointment. But it takes a lot of years to undo the kind of hurt that I went through. I assume it will be the same for him.”
She looked uncertain then. Vulnerable and young. Which Kaylee never did. She’d never admitted she didn’t have a single thing handled as long as he’d known her. He was always proud of her, his brash, pretty friend who attacked the world like it was a bull coming at her horns first. She went straight for those horns, grabbed them, took control. Always. It was who she was. Right then she looked uncertain.
He wanted to shoulder it for her. Wanted to fix it. If he’d had any idea that she’d been in need back when they were kids he would have...he would have done anything to give her what she needed.
She didn’t like that, his Kaylee. Didn’t like asking for anyone’s help. Didn’t like leaning on anyone. He wished she could have confided in him. He wished she’d let him take care of her. Even just for a moment.
Without thinking, he reached out and brushed his fingertips along the edge of her jaw. She drew in a sharp breath, looking up at him, her blue eyes going wide. It was like last night. When everything had gone sideways for a minute when he had touched her. When they had talked about the fact that no man had ever made her lose control. When he had been forced to imagine what it might look like if she did lose control.
He had shoved all that down deep, buried it underneath the uncertainty and the general enormity of having to cope with having a son. Because dealing with this strange, electric sensation he felt in these quiet moments with her was the only thing that came close to being as unsettling as what was happening with Dallas.
“Ready to go?”
They turned and saw Dallas standing there, eyeing them with a speculative expression on his face.
He was a teenager. He was not supposed to be perceptive. But Bennett had a feeling that the kid was being far too perceptive at this moment about what had just crossed through Bennett’s mind.
“Ready,” Bennett said.
“Hey.” Kaylee touched his arm. “Why don’t I ride with you? We can all squeeze in.”
For some reason, he was more than ready to take her up on that. He shouldn’t. He should let there be some distance. He shouldn’t lean on her quite so hard.
But she had just spent the entire day with Dallas, and having her on the ride over to the ranch was a comforting thought.
They all piled into his truck, with Kaylee sitting in the middle and Dallas by the door. Kaylee’s thigh brushed up against his, and he did his best not to hyperfocus on it.
He and Kaylee had squeezed into vehicles like this countless times over the years. One denim-clad leg brushing against his denim-clad leg should not register on his radar.
But it was more than moving the needle right about now.
It was just because he was
thrown off. He had been for days. Which was why he was experiencing these strange electrical currents when she was around.
But right now, he had two choices. To focus on the fact that he was driving over to his family ranch to announce to his brothers and sister that he had a son. Or he could focus on the fact that each bump in the road that brought Kaylee’s body into contact with his sent an electrical spark right down through him.
He opted to focus on her.
But by the time they got to the ranch his teeth were set on edge.
“It’s going to be fine,” he said, mostly to himself.
“It’s going to be weird,” Dallas said.
“Well, I didn’t say it wouldn’t be weird. I said it would be fine.”
Kaylee shook her head, the motion kicking up that scent that was uniquely hers. Soap and skin, no-nonsense. Clean, even after a day spent handling animals. It was strange to him, that the scent of her skin was so familiar, when it wasn’t as if he had ever been pressed up against that skin. But it was. He knew her. His Kaylee. Better than almost any other person in the world. And he was damned grateful to have her with him right about now.
“Should I hide in the bushes or something?” Dallas asked. “Then I can jump out and surprise everybody.”
Kaylee laughed. Bennett could barely manage to force a smile.
“We’re trying not to give anyone a heart attack. My brother is pushing forty. We have to be careful.”
Dallas shrugged. “I’m just trying to spice things up. You know, keep the whole secret family member thing interesting. We’ve got a good thing going here. I would hate for it to get too expected.”
“Believe me,” Bennett said. “Nothing about you is expected.”
The group of them walked up the steps to the front of the house, Bennett feeling increasingly tense with each step.
He looked over at Kaylee, who looked resolute. He wanted to touch her. He wasn’t sure why. Except that focusing on her on the drive over had been helpful, and maybe that was why his hands itched now to touch the soft skin on her face. He had done it earlier. A comforting gesture, when he had been thinking about her and all of the neglect that she had been through.