Dark 18 - Dark Possession

by Christine Feehan

  Manolito caught her hair and pulled her head up so he could find her mouth with his. He needed to kiss her. To feel part of her, to be inside of her. He looked into her eyes and saw need there, hot and yet filled with such love. His heart jerked in his chest, and he kissed her again, using a gentle rhythm to entice her to ride him. His hands gripped her bottom, lifting her, showing her, feeling the silken heat flash through him when her muscles clamped down.

  So hot. A searing fire streaking up his cock and spreading to every inch of his body. The primitive need to possess her was a dark lust that wouldn't—couldn't—be stopped. Heat, lust, love, passion and arousal all mingled together as the bite of her muscles clamped around him and silken walls tightened until he was strangling somewhere between pleasure and pain.

  Manolito shifted again, tipping her back onto the bed so he was bent over her, watching them come together, watching her body stretch impossibly to accommodate his. The sight of her body accepting his was so erotic it shook him. Her tight sheath was velvet soft but scorching, so that he lost his ability to think, to control, until he was pumping into her, deeper and deeper, while the white-hot pleasure burst around him.

  She rose to meet every drive of his hips, every thrust and surge, urging him to a harder, faster ride, until he felt her release ripping through her like a firestorm—catching him up in the vortex, sucking and milking while streaks of lightning raced over his cock and he exploded deep inside her, jet after jet pulsing while her body gripped him hard. He lay over her for a long while, gasping her name, stroking her back, fighting for control when his body no longer belonged to him.

  Gently he lifted her all the way onto the bed and lay down beside her, his legs too weak to hold him up any longer. She burrowed close to him, her arms around his neck, her breasts pressed against him, body still shuddering with pleasure.

  "I think I am alive," he said, faint humor in his voice.

  "I'm not." She was tired. Exhausted, but every time he shifted, her body reacted.

  He moved against her, his mouth trailing down her throat to the swell of her breast, and she held her breath as she felt his incisors prick her skin. Instinct was taking over and she wanted what he was offering. She arched closer, but he merely flicked her breast with his tongue, pulling back as he rolled over.

  It was too late for him. He had taken her blood numerous times, so much so that he knew the infection raged in his body. His Carpathian blood prevented him from feeling too many of the effects, but still, the wolf was in him now. But MaryAnn, it wasn't too late for her. He just had to maintain control at all times. Making love to her was the most dangerous of times because the need, the craving for her blood was on him all the time.

  She lay in silence for a long while, listening to the combined rhythm of their heartbeats. Finally she propped herself up onto her elbow, levering up onto her side so she could look at him. "Manolito, I'm in your mind and I can feel your need to convert me. You don't just want to do it; every instinct you have is demanding it."

  His fingers curled around the nape of her neck. "That matters little to me. Your safety and happiness are more important than anything else."

  "Riordan said you could still turn vampire."

  "You misunderstood." His fingers began a slow massage to ease the tension out of her. "We are bound together. I cannot turn. I will choose a life with you, whether it is here or in your beloved city of Seattle." He flashed her a smile. "See? I am beginning to be able to read your mind at will, too."

  "What does that mean? I don't understand."

  "I will grow old and die as you do. The lycan have longevity as well, but not as Carpathians. When you give up life, so will I."

  She was silent, studying his face, probing his mind. Delving deep, she found—the wolf. She had known all along it was emerging, but now she could feel its powerful presence. With that combined with his Carpathian characteristics, Manolito would be a difficult man to handle. It was fortunate she had her wolf to help guide her.

  "I want to go back to Seattle to see my family often," she said.

  "Of course."

  "And you will be charming and not at all bossy."

  His eyebrow shot up. "It is always said that I am a charming man."

  "By whom? You and your brothers?" She gave a delicate sniff of disbelief. "When we go visit, you have to act civilized and not at all like a Carpathian or a wolf. I don't want my mother upset."

  "Are you going to ask her questions?"

  "I don't know. I haven't decided yet. But I do know if Solange and Jasmine stay in Brazil, wherever they are, they really need help. I think we should try to have a home near them as well as in the States."

  "I agree, and that is a perfect solution. Jasmine wants to go to the ranch, but Solange, I think, will be a problem. And in truth, MaryAnn, I do not believe she should ever be near my eldest brother, Zacarias. He does not take no for an answer, and she would judge him very harshly, not understanding that his word had to be, and continues to have to be, law. He was what kept us all from turning vampire. The darkness is in him, and we all tread softly to try to keep from pushing him over the edge."

  She could feel his sorrow and worry for his oldest brother. He obviously loved and respected Zacarias above all others. She brushed back Manolito's hair with gentle fingers and leaned forward to kiss him. The shadows in his eyes, the heaviness in his heart were almost more than she could bear.

  "You think you will eventually lose him." She made it a statement.

  Manolito lay back, locking his fingers behind his head, and stared up at the sparkling crystals covering the ceiling. He sighed. "Zacarias is a great man, meu amor, highly intelligent, and he wields much power. He has stood in front of my brothers, in front of me, shielding us from the kills to allow us more time. Each kill we make our souls grow darker."

  "Can you, Riordan and Rafael try to…" She trailed off. What was she saying? Did she want Manolito to hunt the vampire?

  He shook his head. "He would never allow us to do that for him. He believes he is responsible for us. I already see the darkness is strong in him. I was so close to turning myself, I should know. Even when I entered the other world, the other occupants knew. After a while the darkness runs together until you no longer know if you can resist the lure to just one time feel something. Anything."

  "But three of you have found lifemates. That should give him hope."

  "He cannot feel hope, not his own. He can only feel our hope for him. And even should he find his lifemate, I fear he would be too difficult for a woman of today's society to live with. Most of our lifemates are human or raised human. He is a throwback to a different era. You find me difficult. In comparison, I assure you, MaryAnn, I am a very modern man."

  "I'm very glad to hear you say that, Manolito, because this modern woman has come to a decision, and it's my decision to make. Mine. You have to understand that I believe I do have rights. This is important to me."

  "What decision would that be?" He sounded wary. He was wary. He wasn't about to free her from her obligations even if it was possible—which it wasn't.

  "I want you to convert me. Now. Tonight. I want to share your life wholly with you." She ignored the storm clouds gathering in his eyes. "I didn't have a decision at any time along the way. So this is me, thinking it over, knowing what I'm doing and saying, yes, I love you and I want to be wholly yours."

  Chapter Nineteen

  Manolito bit down on his first response, forcing the sudden fear down. Emotions were much more difficult to deal with than he'd remembered. If he converted MaryAnn, and the wolf protested, it might kill her. No one, not even Vlad, remembered the pairing of a wolf and a Carpathian.

  "Manolito?" Her fingers drifted over his face, tracing his cheekbones, gentle, filled with love.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned his face away from her so she wouldn't see him fight back the way she affected him. She shook him with her tenderness. With love. Being a lifemate seemed so simple, yet it
was far more complex than he had ever considered. He wanted her conversion for himself. He had pride in what and who he was, but at the same time, he wouldn't—couldn't—risk her.

  "Ask me for the moon, MaryAnn, and I will find a way to get it for you. But not this. Not when we do not know what will happen."

  "You are changing. You said so yourself." She pressed kisses along his strong jaw and up to the corner of his mouth. "Whatever you are, I want to be. I've thought about this a lot. I had plenty of time while I was fighting off vampires and mages and jaguar-men. It's really rare to find someone you love, and even rarer to have them love you back."

  "We will still have that," he said gently and reached up to pull her down on top of him. He couldn't look into her eyes and not give her whatever she wanted. "We will always have that." When had it started? When had she turned his world upside down? His stomach was jittery and his heart melted the moment he looked at her. His brothers would laugh if they knew. He rubbed his chin on top of her head, feeling her hair catch like tiny threads binding them together. With a thought, he removed her top, sending it sailing to the floor so he could smooth his hand down her soft back.

  "Do you feel the wolf inside you?" She rolled over to pillow her head on his shoulder. "Because his scent is all over you—and all over me. He's there, I know he is, reaching for my wolf when we make love. That's probably why you're even more dominant than when I first laid eyes on you." He'd taken her breath away even then. "That's why you rub your body all over mine, to get your scent on me, and that's a wolf trait."

  "It's a Carpathian trait."

  She laughed, and he felt the sound moving through his body like small electrical currents. "Don't say that like it's a good thing. I'm not going into this relationship with rose-colored glasses. It has occurred to me you might be difficult to live with."

  He bit her neck, his teeth gentle, scraping back and forth over her pulse while the breath caught and held in her lungs. "As long as you do everything I say, I think life will be easy."

  The teasing note in his voice was almost as sexy as the way his hands came up to cover her breasts. He simply cupped the undersides in his palms, holding her close to him for a long moment before he slipped out from under her head, one arm wrapping around her waist and rolling her onto her side to face him. The way he did it, his hands so strong and sure, his movements decisive, sent a shiver of excitement up her spine.

  She couldn't imagine never wanting him like this. The ache was so strong she thought she might die from the mixture of need, want and love. His body was firm and hot, hard and aching for her. She read it in his mind, felt it in the way his body was so thick and hard already, pressing against her thigh.

  "You aren't going to distract me, Manolito," she whispered. "Don't you see how important it is that I make this decision for myself? It has to be my decision."

  He nuzzled her throat, inhaled her warm, feminine scent, was pleased that his scent lingered over her skin. His tongue touched her pulse, swirled over the small, inviting dip before he pressed his lips to the temptation.

  MaryAnn closed her eyes. Maybe he was going to distract her. Her heart beat in time to his. Her body should have been thoroughly sated, but, no, she was hungry for him all over again. He touched her and she was lost. He looked at her and she was lost. She gave a little groan and reached up to wrap her arm around his head and hold him to her. "I'm so pathetic when it comes to you."

  His lips brushed her shoulder when he smiled, sending little darts of fire streaking over her skin to the swell of her breasts. At once she felt achy and tight.

  "No more than I am with you," he murmured and shifted closer so that his mouth could wander across the soft, firm mound.

  His tongue touched the small spot where his mark had lingered for so long, and at once she felt it burn and throb. Her body answered between her legs with that same burning and throbbing sensation, only a thousand times more powerful, so that she shifted restlessly.

  "Does it matter to you that I want this?" Was that her voice, so breathy with anticipation she could barely recognize herself?

  "You and what you want always matters," he replied, lifting his head, his black eyes searching hers.

  "I need this, Manolito. Like you need my body and heart. I need the same from you. You have to trust me enough to know my own mind."

  "It isn't a matter of trust, MaryAnn." He rolled over, away from her, but not before she caught a flash of uneasiness in him. Of wariness. Of something pushing close to desperation.

  She didn't understand his mixed feelings. It was simple enough. Riordan had brought Juliette into his life. Manolito had brought Luiz. Now that she knew what her wolf was, now that she understood the protection and strength that it gave her, she loved it, but she loved Manolito more. She wanted a full life with him. She'd caught glimpses in his mind of what the reality would be if she did not become Carpathian. She would not be able to go to ground with him, and he would often need to rejuvenate. She would be aboveground, suffering the effects. There would be no days for him, few nights for her.

  "We can't live like that, not and be happy the way we were meant," she said.

  He turned back to her, his palm cupping the back of her head. "I can make you happy, MaryAnn. Through it all, I can do that."

  "But I couldn't make you happy. I want this for myself, not for you. Because for the first time I know what life can be like sharing it with someone else. I feel as if I've been handed a miracle."

  A smile softened the hard edge of his mouth. "That is the way I feel, MaryAnn. You are that miracle, and to chance losing you…"

  "Why would you lose me? Juliette made it through."

  His fingers raked through his hair. "It is different."

  "How? Explain to me how it is different."

  Exasperated, he sighed. "I see what you meant when you told me you were stubborn." He sat up and ran both hands through his hair again, shoving the long hair behind his shoulders and then abruptly leaning over to kiss her. "This is something you are absolutely certain you want to do?"

  She curled her fingers around his nape and drew his head down to hers for another kiss. His mouth was like a heated furnace, ready to catch fire at the least provocation. "I want to spend every moment I can with you in the best way possible."

  He let his breath out. "Do not think you will get your way in all things, sivamet."

  She rolled onto her back, her hair spread across the pillow, and smiled up at him. "Of course I will."

  He leapt out of bed and was gone. He simply dissolved to vapor in front of her eyes, streaming down the narrow tunnel toward the entrance. MaryAnn's heart slammed hard against her chest.

  What are you doing? She sprang up and dashed after him, running barefoot, forgetting all about bugs and anything else to do with caves, in her concern for Manolito. She merged her mind with his, even as she used the wolf's speed to try to catch him.

  He was not risking her without knowing what would happen. His resolve was absolute. He didn't want to be with her in case it all went wrong fast.

  Don't you dare! She shouted it in her mind, his mind, burying as much compulsion in as she was capable of using. Her breath came out in a ragged sob. Manolito. No. You can't do this.

  She felt the brush of his fingers on her face and then he was gone from her, pushing her out of his mind to ensure her safety. She felt the ground shake and knew the entrance was opened. Putting on a burst of speed, she pumped her arms, racing to get there before he could close it.

  The rock walls slammed together with a grinding noise that reverberated through her mind. She threw back her head and howled, somewhere between fury and terror.

  If I do not return, the door will open at sunset.

  She slammed both palms over the boulders, a sob welling up in her throat. If you do not return, there is no reason for the door to open. Please, Manolito, I've changed my mind. I don't want this. Come back.

  I will not risk you.

  It's my risk to
take, she pleaded.

  She felt his sigh in her mind, and again his fingers seemed to brush over her skin.

  You do not understand. You are more than my heart. You are my very soul. There is nothing—no one—on this earth more important to me. I do not want you to feel the fire of conversion. I do not want you to ever experience pain. And I will not risk your life or sanity until I have risked my own first to know that it can be done without harm to you.

  She pressed her hand to her mouth hard to stifle the weeping. Crying wasn't going to stop him. Compulsion wasn't going to stop him. If you really love me…

  His laughter was soft in her ear. It is out of love that I do this. Go back and sit on the bed and wait for me. If I return, we will complete the conversion. If I do not, go to my brothers and allow them to care for you.

  There was seduction in his voice. The image of her sitting on the bed naked, waiting for him to return to her, was in his mind. She wanted to throw something. She leaned down to find a loose rock on the cavern floor, wrapped her fist around it and, in a storm of rage, flung it at the door, furious that he would expect her to meekly wait for him. To think that he would come back and they would have sex. Wild, uninhibited wolf sex. Oh, God, he was so right.

  Manolito. She tried again. You matter as much to me as I do to you. At least let us do this together. Let me out. Or stay merged with me.

  I will not risk you.

  He broke the connection once more and she felt alone. So alone. MaryAnn walked back to the chamber, her heart so heavy she felt it might shatter into a million pieces. If something went wrong… If she lost him now… How could he have done it again? Taken the decision making out of her hands? Anger faded away as realization hit her. If he didn't come back, she had nothing at all. There would be no reason for anger. No reason at all. Just emptiness, just a terrible black hole that would eventually swallow her.

  "What were you thinking?" she whispered aloud, not certain if she was asking him or herself the question. She sank onto the bed, ignoring the tears streaming down her face, just letting them fall.