I Will Love You (Forever and Ever #23)

by E. L. Todd

  “You want to get married?” I blurted.

  “Where did you think this was going?” he snapped.

  “I mean, before the baby gets here?”

  “Preferably, yes,” he said.

  “But I’m a waddling cow.”

  “More like a hot piece of ass,” he said.

  I wasn’t thinking about marriage right now. That was the last thing on my mind. “Let’s not jump too far ahead.”

  “Yeah…after I have a baby with someone I like to slow down.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

  Now I started to get angry. “If you wanted us to have a happily ever after, you should have told me about Skye. The outcome would have been much different.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m not having this argument with you again…”

  “Then stop putting all the blame on me. You’re acting like I’m the only reason we aren’t together. In reality, you’re the reason.”

  He stared at the ground beneath the table before he looked at me. “I don’t feel sorry for what I did—at all.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I have no remorse for what happened with Skye,” he said simply. “Not when things turned out this way. You’re carrying my child and that may never have happened if we hadn’t broken up. So, I’m glad we did break up. Because I think it makes us stronger now. We will overcome this and we will be unbreakable. Maybe you don’t see it but I do.” He left the table then headed upstairs. He left his plate and wine on the table, clearly not intending to clean it up until morning.

  I didn’t chase after him.

  ***

  I slept in the spare bedroom because I didn’t want to be near Ward. We were both hotheaded and temperamental. Neither one of us said goodnight, and the only time Ward left his room was when he walked around the house to check the doors and windows.

  Even though Ward was more comfortable to sleep with, I stayed in my bed. Our last conversation echoed in my mind indefinitely. I knew we should be together, and I knew it’s what I wanted. But I also was reluctant to give him my heart again. He smashed it last time, and I left him because of it. The only reason why I was entertaining the idea of trying again was because he was the father of my child. If we could make it work, despite how unlikely that was, we should try. And of course, I loved him. I would always love him.

  I fell asleep and my dreams took me. It started off with Ward and I in the hospital. We just had our baby and we were taking turns holding our son. Love and affection shined in Ward’s eyes, and he looked at our son like he was the single most important thing in the world. When I held him, I felt my heart flutter in joy. It was the greatest sensation, to hold your child in your arms.

  And then the dream changed. Ward and I were tucking in our baby into his crib. The walkie-talkie was on and we placed a blanket over him to keep him warm. I noticed Ward wore a wedding band. So did I.

  We went to bed in his room, which was the one in his home in London even though we were in America. Then he took off his clothes then peeled mine away, kissing me as he undressed me. When we were naked we lay on the bed and Ward inserted himself inside me.

  He held me close to him as he rocked into me, giving me long and even strokes. He breathed hard and sweat collected on his chest. He widened my legs so he had more room to move inside me. I clung to him in desperation, needing more of what he was giving me.

  Then I felt the recesses of a distant orgasm. It was building, slow and steady. And just when I was about to explode in a fiery ball of pleasure, the dream ended. I tried to get it back by thinking of what we were just doing. But it was gone.

  I was hot and covered in sweat. I kicked the blankets off and felt my heart race in my chest. I squeezed my thighs together because I wished he were really there. I burned everywhere, needing the release I couldn’t get on my own. I tried touching myself but it didn’t work. I needed a man. I needed Ward.

  My hormones guiding me, I headed to his bedroom then cracked the door. Ward was asleep, sticking to his side of the bed even though he didn’t share the mattress with anyone.

  I couldn’t believe I was doing this.

  I tiptoed inside then crawled into his bed. He didn’t stir. I lay beside him then pressed my lips to the back of his neck. I pressed a gentle kiss there before I moved down his spine. I kissed the massive muscles of his flank and enjoyed the feel of his strength under my hands.

  Ward stirred then glanced at me over his shoulder. His eyes were lidded and heavy. It took him a moment to take me in, to understand this was real.

  I leaned over and kissed his neck as I ran my hand up his chest. I forgot how wonderful every inch of him felt. He was hard like a rock, and the power in his limbs was noticeable even in the dark. I was hotter than I was a moment ago. My lips moved to his ear. “Satisfy me.”

  He turned over then faced me, the arousal in his eyes. Wordlessly, he gripped my shirt then pulled it off, revealing my naked chest and swollen stomach. He took in my tits then pressed a kiss in the valley between them. Then he sucked each nipple.

  I came alive underneath him. I hadn’t had a man’s touch since Ward knocked me up almost five months ago. To feel his kiss and caress was electrifying. I fisted his hair and brought him close to me.

  His lips moved down to my stomach and he kissed the bulge, making it sexual as well as loving. His hand moved to my underwear and pulled it down my legs.

  I was so excited I was shaking. I wanted to feel him inside me, to stretch me with that fullness I loved.

  His fingers moved to the area between my legs and they became drenched in the moisture that pooled there. He didn’t bother fingering me or rubbing my clitoris. I was ready to go. He pulled his boxers off then exposed himself to me.

  I never thought cocks were particularly nice to look at it, but his was beautiful. I wanted it inside me so much.

  He moved over me and separated my legs, pinning them to my sides. His face was close to mine and his chest covered me. My hands automatically moved up and down, feeling his defined physique.

  Ward pressed his tip into me, and the immediate stretching felt so wonderful. “Oh god…” My hands moved to his lower back and I yanked him into me.

  He inserted himself gently, moving all the way until he was completely sheathed.

  I was in heaven right now.

  He pressed his forehead to mine as he rocked into me slowly, giving me all of him every time.

  “Ward…”

  He moaned while he moved into me. “You feel so amazing…your pussy is still tight.”

  One hand moved to his ass and I kept pulling him into me, wanting everything he could possibly give.

  We moaned and moved together, both of us enjoying each other. I forgot how amazing sex felt. I couldn’t believe I went so long without it, without Ward. I’d never been with a man who was so good in the sack. His dick was the perfect size, thick and long to hit me in the right spot every time.

  He breathed hard while he rocked into me. “Come all over my dick.”

  I was about to. My hands moved to his shoulders and I gripped him tightly. I widened my legs more so he had more room. His pubic bone moved against my clitoris, stimulating it with every thrust he made. “Right there…”

  He moved faster, one hand moving to my belly as he thrust inside me. “Come on, I want to feel you come on my cock.”

  My hands moved to his chest and I dug my nails into the skin. “Feels so good…”

  He breathed hard as he gave me everything he had.

  Then I felt myself tighten around his shaft. My body prepared for the best orgasm of my life. My head rolled back and my fingers dug into him. “Yes! Yes!”

  He kept up his pace as I rode my high all the way to the bottom.

  Even when I was finished, he still felt good. I breathed hard as my body recharged for another round. “God, Ward…” My hands moved up and down his chest. “Don’t stop.”

  “I’ll please you all night if that’s what you want.” He kissed m
y forehead as he rocked into me slowly. “Making love to the mother of my child is the hottest thing I’ve ever done—and I don’t want to stop.”

  ***

  I woke up the following morning, satisfied and fulfilled. Ward spooned me from behind and his arm wrapped around my ribcage above my swollen belly. One of his legs was pressed between mine.

  I was so comfortable I didn’t want to move.

  Ward stirred slightly, his face in my neck. He released a loud sigh, like his eyes were beginning to open. Then his hand moved down to my stomach, what it usually did anytime he was awake. “I could wake up to this every morning,” he said with a raspy voice.

  I could too.

  He kissed my shoulder and let his lips linger for a long time. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Well…really well.”

  “I would imagine so.” A smile was in his voice.

  I thought I would be embarrassed but I wasn’t. That was how horny I was.

  He kissed my shoulder again. “Use me anytime you want. Take what you need.”

  “Yeah?”

  He nodded into my neck.

  I turned over then crawled on top of his chest.

  He moved his hands behind his head then smiled like he knew what was coming.

  I straddled his hips and was aware of my swollen stomach. It probably wasn’t the sexiest view in the world.

  His hands moved to either side of my stomach. “This is so hot, darling.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  I lifted myself and pointed his thick head at my entrance. Then I slid down his cock, feeling the stretch. I sat still, feeling my body accommodate him. He felt amazing, hitting me in the right spot every time.

  Ward’s hands moved under my thighs and he helped me into the air over and over. My thighs weren’t used to lifting the extra weight in my stomach. But I ignored the burn in my muscles because he felt so good. I worked up a sweat but I didn’t want to stop.

  Ward looked into my eyes as he thrust into me. “So beautiful, darling…”

  My hands gripped his chest for balance, and I felt the warmth sweep through me.

  Ward sat up, my stomach pressed to his, and he kissed my neck while I continued to move on top of him. I gripped his shoulders and used them as an anchor. Ward wrapped one arm around my waist and rested his hand on my ass, gripping it as he helped me move.

  I tried not to look into his eyes, to see the love and affection deep inside. I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist falling for him like I did before. The sex was just a physical need for me, but I knew it could be something so much more if I let it. Ward was using that to his advantage—and he was doing a damn good job.

  ***

  “I’m going to work out in the basement, darling.” He grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator wearing black running shorts with no shirt. He looked like a model for Nike. His body was perfectly chiseled and defined. “I’ll be done in an hour.”

  “Okay.” I kept staring at him as I picked at my omelet.

  He tilted his head to the side like he was amused. “Really? You want more?”

  “I didn’t say anything.” I looked away, feeling self-conscious.

  “Those hormones really are out of control, huh?” He flashed me a grin. “Works for me.” He headed toward the hallway. “We’ll pick up where we left off after my workout.”

  Did I really make it that obvious?

  When he was gone, I cleaned my dishes then looked at the time. I only had an hour to conduct my plan, which I had a feeling wouldn’t work anyway. After I ran upstairs and changed I left Ward a note telling him where I’d gone. Then I waved down a taxi and headed to Willow’s place.

  ***

  She opened the door with a guarded expression on her face. “Yes?” She looked around me, searching for Ward.

  “I was hoping we could talk.” I didn’t care for Willow but my personal feelings were irrelevant. I had to make this right for Ward, even if I actually wanted to beat her head into the sidewalk.

  “About?”

  “Ward.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorway.

  “I know you don’t like me, and frankly, I don’t care what your opinion of me is. It’s irrelevant. But I’m willing to put that behind us if you can work with me on this. Ward needs you and I don’t want him to lose you.”

  She tilted her head to the side. “What are you saying?”

  “Ward is really upset with you, and I know he’ll cut you out of his life. I have to make sure that doesn’t happen. But the only way to do that is to convince him that you and I made up and we’re friends. So, I propose telling him that you apologized to me. And you pretend that you actually like me. That’s the only way this is going to work.”

  She studied me like she didn’t trust me. “And why would you do that?”

  “Because I want Ward to have his sister,” I said. “And I want my baby to have his aunt. You and I can pretend not to hate each other for everyone else. It’s not that difficult. But you need to meet me halfway.”

  She stared at the ground for a moment while she considered it.

  “Please, Willow,” I said. “Ward is never going to forgive you for all the things you said to me. I’m your only option. Put your hatred aside. You can keep fighting me but I’m never going to go away. Ward and I are raising this baby together and we’re a family. You can’t rip us apart. I know I’m not good enough for him and I admit that. But being a brat about it will accomplish nothing. Just let it go.”

  She turned her eyes back to me.

  “So, let’s just do this with a smile on our faces.”

  “I still can’t believe you would do that,” Willow said. “I said some pretty mean things.”

  “I have a brother,” I said. “He dated this girl I despised for a while. I was extremely rude to her and made her as uncomfortable as possible in the hope she wouldn’t come around anymore. I knew right off the bat she was trash. Thankfully, it didn’t work out and now he’s with the right woman. So, I understand your need to protect him, even if he is bigger and older than you. And I also understand how broken I would be if I lost him. I don’t want that to happen to you. This has nothing to do with me. This is about him.”

  “I didn’t like the way you treated him. You’re just going to keep hurting him.”

  “There’s more to the story than you realize,” I said. “Ward did something to hurt me, and he even admits it was wrong, however unintentional. I have a difficult past and he knows about it.”

  “But he’s perfect in every other way,” she said. “You made him suffer for months.”

  “And you think I didn’t suffer?” I asked. “You think I wasn’t a wreck? I didn’t wan to break up. But I didn’t have a choice.”

  “Now you’re only with him for the baby?” she asked with disdain. “Ward deserves better than that.”

  “No, I’m not only with him because of that…” I knew I wasn’t. It was more of an excuse than anything else. “Our relationship is complicated, but I believe he and I can never get away from each other even if we tried. He lives on a different continent but our paths always cross. I think the universe wants us to be together, even if we’re both not ready for it.”

  Willow was still closed off from me.

  “Don’t worry about Ward and I. We’ll work it out one way or another. But that’s our business and not yours. You need to back off and just accept it.”

  She didn’t rise like I thought she would. “My friend Iris is in love with him. And she treats him far better than you do. Ward is a catch, and no woman cares if he already has a baby with another woman. He’s settling for you and I don’t like it.”

  “He’s in love with me,” I said firmly. “And only me. I’m sure he would be the first one to admit he didn’t feel this way. It would make his life easier. But he does. And I feel the same way…”

  Willow looked at me with the blue eyes that were identical
to Ward’s.

  “So, are you willing to do this?” I asked. “Because you’re going to lose Ward if you don’t. I can’t let that happen.”

  She released a deep sigh. “I may not like you but…I respect you for looking out for him.”

  “I always look out for him. And he always looks out for me.”

  “Then how do you want to do this?” she asked.

  “I have a plan.”

  ***

  Willow and I were sitting that the kitchen table when Ward came downstairs after his shower.

  “I love Jodi Picoult,” I said. “My Sister’s Keeper is my favorite.”

  “She’s one of my favorite authors,” Willow said. “Have you heard of Stephen King?”

  I laughed. “Who hasn’t heard of Stephen King?”

  Ward stopped and stared at us, like he wasn’t sure what he was looking at.

  “Oh hi,” I said, turning to him. “How was your workout?”

  His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Then he examined his sister like she was about to pull a rabbit out of a hat. “What’s going on…?”

  “Oh,” I said, pretending to forget to explain. “Willow came over and apologized and we just started hanging out.”

  He grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator then approached the table. He stood behind the chair and continued to watch us. “Willow apologized?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “She came over after you went in the basement.”

  Ward turned to her, looking at her like he’d never seen her before.

  “And then we had lunch and started talking,” I said. I hoped he would buy it. Ward wasn’t stupid. And he definitely wasn’t gullible.

  He took a drink of his water and kept looking at Willow. “You apologized?”

  “Yes,” Willow said. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  “Because you’re a stubborn mule, that’s why.” Ward gave her a dark expression.

  “Well, she did,” I said. “And now we’re friends. She’s excited for the baby.”

  “Very much so,” she said.

  He put down the water and glared at her. “You’re full of shit, Willow. You still hate Clementine and you always will.”

  Goddammit.

  “That’s not true,” Willow argued. “She and I—”