He wanted her with a desperation he’d never felt before. And yet...
“We can’t,” he said gently, ignoring the hardness and the pain in his groin. “You deserve better than something hot and fast up against a tree.”
She swallowed. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“I am.”
“Oh.”
She sounded disappointed. Had she been anyone else, he would have said the hell with it and taken what she offered. But she was Phoebe.
From behind them came the sound of a car horn honking, and then another. They couldn’t see anything through the trees, but they heard laughter drifting toward them as at least a couple of off-road vehicles drove slowly past.
“Sounds like we have company,” he said. “We’re close to Stryker land. Guess they decided to say hi. You go on ahead. I need a few minutes.”
When he pointed at the front of his jeans, she blushed. “Oh. I see your problem. Well, you could walk right behind me and no one would notice.”
He chuckled. “I’ll wait it out. Go on.”
“Okay.”
She headed toward camp. Zane watched her go, taking in the sway of her hips and the wave she gave him right before she disappeared.
Getting involved with her would be stupid. He doubted Phoebe understood about easy, short-term affairs. But how was he supposed to resist those big eyes and that mouth of hers? Just touching her made him want her more than he’d ever wanted in his life. He’d walked away from so many things in the name of getting it right, but he wasn’t sure he could walk away from her.
* * *
PHOEBE EMERGED FROM the trees to find people pouring out of four rugged-looking vehicles. She stopped counting when she got to twenty, then stepped toward the laughing guests.
After a couple of days on the range with their small group, the noise level was a little shocking. It seemed like organized chaos as the people called out to each other, setting up two portable picnic tables and loading them with food.
The sun was still visible low on the horizon, painting the Western sky in warm purples and reds. The soft light on a summer night in the mountains filled Phoebe with a feeling of contentment.
“Reese!” Chase called out in a voice about an octave lower than normal. He and a gangly teen did a complicated handshake that devolved into fake punches.
“Phoebe, over here!” Maya said. “I want to introduce you to my bestie from tenth grade. This is Dellina Hopkins.”
She had her arm around the shoulders of a pretty woman with long, brown hair.
“Dellina Ridge now,” her friend said.
Maya grabbed Dellina’s left hand and whistled at the beautiful ring set flashing on her fourth finger.
“My husband’s over there,” Dellina said, pointing toward a black Jeep with flames on the side, where two men were lifting out a heavy cooler from the back.
Eddie and Gladys were behind the men. Gladys was holding up a lantern while Eddie was getting close-up video of their butts.
“That’s Ford Hendrix,” Maya said. “So you must be married to the other guy— Wait a minute! Is that—? You’re married to Sam Ridge? The football player? I’ve done a couple of stories about him and that tell-all his ex-wife wrote.”
Dellina laughed. “We don’t talk about that.”
“Ohmigosh,” Maya said breathlessly. “Is that Mayor Marsha?”
She grabbed Phoebe’s hand and pulled her toward a lovely silver-haired woman who was standing with Andrea near one of the tables. The woman was dressed with casual elegance in lightweight gray slacks and a teal-colored sweater set. Around her neck, she wore pearls, and Phoebe wondered whether she should warn her about the raccoons.
“I brought Baked Ziti with Butternut Squash and Risotto,” Mayor Marsha told Andrea. “The recipe is from the Fool’s Gold Cookbook. I hoped you might like it because there’s no meat.”
Andrea looked nonplussed. “How did you know?”
“Maya,” Mayor Marsha said as she pulled her into a warm embrace. “What a pleasure. And you must be Phoebe. Welcome to Fool’s Gold.”
“Mayor Marsha is the longest-serving mayor in California,” Maya said.
Phoebe enjoyed her friend’s enthusiasm. She’d never lived in a small town before, but she thought she might like it. In LA, she rarely bumped into friends. The city was so large and spread out, they had to make appointments to see each other, and the appointments had to be scheduled around the flow of traffic. Life seemed simpler here.
“I have something I’d like to talk to you about,” the mayor said to Maya. “Come to my office when you’re done with the cattle drive.”
“Will do.” Maya turned to Phoebe. “You doing okay?”
“Sure. This is fun. A little strange to have all these people show up in the middle of our cattle drive.”
“It’s Fool’s Gold. You gotta go with it.”
* * *
“WHAT MOST PEOPLE don’t know is that Cinderella had a brother,” Thad said.
Tommy looked surprised by the news, but Lucy simply snorted.
“She did not,” the little girl told him. “She had wicked stepsisters. There weren’t any boys.”
Thad smiled. “Her brother had been sent away by the wicked stepmother. He was working in the castle as a groom for the horses, when he heard about a tournament. It was being held the day of the ball.”
C.J. continued to stroke the brush through Lucy’s hair. After playing all evening with a few of the children from Fool’s Gold, Lucy and Tommy seemed quite content to sit near the dying fire with her and Thad. The party had broken up about fifteen minutes ago, and Thad wanted to tell the children a story before bed.
“It’s true,” she said. “He wanted to win for the glory, but also because the prize money would mean he could finally rescue his sister.”
Tommy nodded, as if that made perfect sense, but Lucy looked skeptical.
“That’s not the real story,” she complained. “You’re supposed to talk about the fairy godmother and the glass slipper and stuff.”
“I’ll get to that,” he promised.
C.J. glanced at her husband. He sat on a blanket in front of the fire. Tommy leaned against him. C.J. and Lucy were next to them. She’d already unfastened the girl’s braid. As she continued to brush her long hair, she admired the glow of the fire in the dark strands.
“I’ll bet her hair wasn’t nearly as pretty as yours,” C.J. told the girl.
Lucy turned around and stared at her in surprise. Her mouth parted slightly, but she didn’t speak.
C.J. felt badly that a simple compliment would be so unexpected. For the first time she wondered where Lucy and Tommy had come from. Where were their biological parents? Had Lucy and Tommy been abandoned? Had their parents died? What circumstances had forced them into foster care?
She looked at both kids, noticing how small they seemed in the vast darkness of the night. They were enthralled by Thad’s twisted version of Cinderella.
Watching them set up a familiar longing deep inside. A need for a baby of her own to hold and love and see grow. She wanted to hold the sweet-smelling infant and listen to the steady breathing. She wanted to be there for the first smile, first word, first step.
She put down her brush and stared at the fire. Pain swept through her as she acknowledged it was never going to happen. For reasons she couldn’t control, through circumstances that were no one’s fault, there would never be a baby in her arms.
Emptiness surrounded her until it was big enough to crush her into dust. No child, no family. No memories, no hopes, no dreams.
She and Thad were good people. They didn’t deserve what had happened.
A soft sound caught her attention. She turned and saw Lucy laughing at something Thad had said. C.J. studied the girl’s profile, her pretty face and the hunger that never faded from her eyes.
What did Lucy want? When she was alone at night, what dreams did she have?
A family, C.J. decided. The gir
l would want a family and to feel safe. Would that ever happen? She sighed. Given the children’s mixed heritage and their age, it was unlikely. So she and Lucy had at least one thing in common—they were both caught up in wishing for what they would never have.
While C.J. didn’t enjoy her own fate, she knew she could survive it. But what about Lucy and Tommy? How would they make it to adulthood only dependent on each other? Alone and unloved in a world that preyed on the lonely.
The solution to all their problems was right in front of her. She acknowledged it even as she rejected it. She might have to give up her dream, but she wasn’t ready to accept something else instead. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
CHASE WAITED UNTIL Thad and C.J. got the kids settled for the night, and Eddie and Gladys made one last trip into the bushes, chattering all the way there and all the way back. Then he walked toward the fire. Zane was there, as he was every night. He was always the last one to go to bed and the first one up in the morning. Chase had the sudden thought that his brother must spend a lot of his life tired of being the responsible one.
He crossed the bare dirt until he reached the fire. His brother didn’t look up as he approached, but he didn’t walk away, either. Chase figured that was about as good as it was going to get.
He stood there, shifting his weight, then finally cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry about before,” he said gruffly. “I misread the situation. I can’t figure out why I did. I know you wouldn’t hurt Phoebe. It’s just...I saw her laying there and I reacted.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.
He knew Zane wasn’t going to say anything. Apologizing for screwing up never made it better.
His brother looked at him for a long time. Finally Zane tossed the last of his coffee into the fire and rose.
“I know I can be a real bastard,” Zane said. “And I know why you thought something had happened with Phoebe. It’s okay.”
Chase blinked. He couldn’t believe it. “You mean you’re not mad?”
“It was an honest mistake. One that could have cost you your pretty face, but that’s another story.”
Chase grinned. “You saying you could take me, old man?”
“In a heartbeat.”
Chase knew he was tall, but he hadn’t filled out yet. Zane had a couple of inches and about forty pounds of muscle on him. Still, he couldn’t help taking a boxer’s stance and raising his fists.
“When and where,” he joked.
Zane chuckled. “Get some sleep.”
Chase nodded. “’Night.”
He headed to his tent, feeling better than he had in a long time.
* * *
THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Phoebe shared her dilemma with Rocky.
“I’m not sure how much Zane likes me,” she told the gelding, “but he wants me, which is a good thing, right? I mean sexual attraction is exciting.”
She thought of the horse’s limitation in that department. “Am I making you feel bad by discussing this?”
Rocky stomped one of his hooves, which she took to mean it was fine.
“So I was wondering if I should, you know, ride close to Zane this morning.” She buckled the saddle into place and checked the stirrups. “Is that too forward? I don’t want him to think I’m easy.”
She thought about what had happened the previous day. How she’d practically rubbed herself against him like a cat in heat.
“It might be too late for that.”
Rocky shook his head, which she took to be an equine version of “go for it.”
“Okay. If you say so.”
She led Rocky to a stump. She climbed up on it and managed a semi-graceful mount. Once she was settled in her saddle, she urged him forward and joined up with the milling cattle. Zane’s call of “move ’em out” sent a thrill through her, as always.
Manny started out at a slow walk. The other steers fell into place. Phoebe took up her spot, then glanced around casually to see if anyone was paying attention to her. When she was sure she was unobserved, she gave Rocky a very light tap with her heels. He picked up the pace.
After three minutes of bone-jarring trot, she was even with Zane and able to slow to a more manageable walk. Of course now that she was here, she didn’t know what to say.
She settled on a simple, “’Morning.”
He responded with one of his familiar grunts.
Phoebe reminded herself of his claim to want her and how hard he’d gotten while they’d been kissing and how he’d touched her breast. Courage in place, she sucked in a breath.
“Do you mind if I ride up with you for a while?” she asked.
“I’d like that.”
Pleasure made her beam. “How’d you sleep?”
He chuckled. “Like hell. You?”
She thought of her erotic dreams. “I might have tossed and turned a little.”
“Good.”
She glanced at him and saw him flash a smile. She grinned back. Contentment made her relax.
“So what was it like growing up around here?” she asked. “The ranch is pretty far from town. Did you have a long trip to school?”
“I took the bus. It was about forty-five minutes each way because of all the stops, unless the weather was bad. After some storms I couldn’t get to classes, or if it got bad during the day, I spent the night at a friend’s house.”
“Wow. Really?” The worst she’d ever faced was a twenty-minute walk or a canceled day because of an earthquake. “Did you have a lot of friends on the bus?”
“Sure. We’d tease the girls, or the littler kids.”
“You mean torture.”
His smile returned. “That, too.”
“I know Chase is your half brother. Why didn’t your parents have more children together?” She bit her lower lip. “Is that too personal? I mean, did your mom die when you were really young?”
“I was twelve,” he said. “The town got me through. All the women brought us food. My friends’ families had me over so I could get away from the sadness.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you had support.”
“Me, too.” He glanced at her, then away. “As to why my parents didn’t have other kids before Mom died, I guess it was because they would be in the way.”
“Of what? It’s a ranch. Isn’t there plenty of room?”
Zane stared straight ahead. “My parents loved each other more than they loved anything else. Or anyone. Having other people around was a distraction they didn’t want.”
Phoebe couldn’t imagine such a thing. “But you were their child.”
“I know. My mom was better than my dad. She took care of me and we were close. But when she was dying, my dad couldn’t handle it. He was desperate without her. After she was gone, he didn’t know how to survive.”
Phoebe could see how the ranch could get lonely for a man on his own. “But he had you.”
“You’d think.”
She didn’t know what to make of that. “Then he met and married Chase’s mother, right?”
Zane nodded. “She stuck around for a few years before she took off. Maya’s mother was next. There were a couple more after that. Eventually my old man stopped trying to replace my mom. He simply waited to die, so he could be with her again.”
“I guess he loved her a lot,” Phoebe said, then shuddered. “But it sounds like a scary kind of love. I like what Thad and C.J. have. They obviously adore each other, but there’s plenty of room for other people.”
“I agree with you. What my parents had was...I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t want that.”
“What would you want?” she asked before she could stop herself. “How would you like to love a woman?”
“I haven’t thought about it.”
She swallowed her fear and plunged ahead. “Have you been in love before?”
He glanced at her. “No. You?”
She sighed. “No. There were a couple of times I came close, but
it didn’t work out. Sometimes I want it more than anything, and sometimes I find the concept terrifying. I don’t want to be that vulnerable.”
She braced herself for him to be critical, but all he said was, “Makes sense.”
They rode in silence for a while. Finally Zane spoke.
“What will you do if you lose your real estate license?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out. I need to have a plan. So far, nothing’s been coming to me. I was talking to Manny about it and—” She broke off. “Just so you know, Manny doesn’t answer.”
“Good thing. If he did, I’d worry about you both.”
“I would hope so. Anyway, I don’t have a plan yet. I always thought I’d stay in LA, but having been out here has shown me that maybe I’d like something different. Fool’s Gold seems like a special place.” She smiled. “Think I could get a job rustling cattle?”
“Rustling? That’s stealing.”
“Oh. I mean taking care of them.”
“You’d better learn your terms before you apply.”
“I guess.” She tugged at her hat. “Chase will be going off to college next year, right? What will you do?”
“What I’ve always done.”
She knew what that meant. Work the land, breed cattle, raise the goats. By himself.
“Won’t you be lonely?”
He glanced at her. “Probably.”
The single word tugged at her heart more than any declaration of affection ever had. She wanted to crawl up on his horse and hold him close. She wanted to promise that she would be there for him, if he was interested. She wanted a lot of things.
“This is all I know,” he said.
“Plus, it’s what you love. It’s not as if you feel trapped by your destiny or anything.”
Zane didn’t answer. She looked at him.
“Do you feel trapped?”
“Not in the way you mean. But there are times...” His mouth twisted at the corners, but he didn’t smile. “When I was about Chase’s age, my father decided to improve the bloodline in our horses, so he went out and bought an expensive stallion. The ranch was in trouble—he couldn’t afford the horse, but he was determined.”
Phoebe frowned slightly. The ranch looked plenty prosperous to her. Was that a recent development?
Kiss Me (Fool's Gold series) Page 21
