by Brenda Novak
He didn’t seem to mind. He traced a finger reverently over one breast, as if he’d never seen such a beautiful sight. Then his mouth curved into a boyish grin. “I think we can go now,” he said and helped her down.
LIZ TOYED WITH CARTER’S HAIR as he slept with his cheek against her shoulder. Once they reached the cabin, he’d made slow, gentle love to her—a completely different experience than the frenzied passion they’d shared at the shop and, ultimately, far more challenging to her defenses. Afterward, he’d insisted she get some sleep for her big day. He’d kissed her neck and pulled her into the cradle of his body as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if they were both exactly where they should be.
She’d managed to doze for a couple of hours. But it was nearly three in the morning and she was staring at his ceiling, wondering what she’d gotten herself into. She could tell Carter expected her to share his bed on a frequent basis from now on. But she didn’t know what that would do to her life or to her children. She didn’t want to steer any of them into rough water. Not after everything they’d been through.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.
She didn’t have an answer. How did a woman, especially a mother, find a balance between living in a tower and abandoning all caution?
“I’m excited about the shop,” she said.
“It’ll be great,” he promised. “Now that I’ve seen the movie, I can make the place look even more like Vianne’s. You’ll love it.”
She smiled. Maybe he needed her, needed someone to care about again.
“I appreciate what you’ve done,” she said.
He muttered, “No problem,” and went back to sleep.
Liz lay still until his breathing deepened, then slipped out of bed. Pulling on one of his T-shirts, she wandered around the cabin, trying to arrange her thoughts. What kind of man had she fallen in love with?
Someone who was living in a cabin cluttered with boxes, so he could leave at his earliest convenience. That didn’t bode well. And yet, if she could help him in some way, maybe by fulfilling that lonely yearning she sensed inside him, she knew she would.
Carter’s office was down the hall. It was the only room not filled with boxes, and eventually she gravitated there. Sitting down at his computer, she went on to the Internet to check her own e-mail and found a new message from Dave.
Wincing against a surge of guilt for sitting there in Carter’s T-shirt, still warm from his bed, she opened it.
Jeez, where are you lately? I know you’re busy, but it’s like you dropped off the face of the earth. What’s going on? Are you still coming out this summer? Or should I come there?
By the way, where’s my questionnaire?
Liz opened his previous saved message, the one that included the questionnaire, and quickly glanced down the page.
What’s the one trait you admire most in the opposite sex?
Honesty. Which was Carter incarnate.
If you could talk to one person right now, who would it be?
Carter.
If you could make love to someone right now, who would that be?
Carter.
She couldn’t fill it out and send it back because as much as she’d tried to convince herself otherwise, every answer was tied to Carter.
She had to tell Dave, didn’t she? She couldn’t continue to lead him on.
Taking a deep breath, she hit the reply button and tried to explain.
I’m sorry I’ve been so out of touch. This is a difficult e-mail to write, but…I think it’s only fair to be up-front with you. I’ve met someone else. I didn’t mean to fall so hard or so fast, and I’m probably making a big mistake, but…
Hitting the backspace key, she erased most of her last sentence.
I didn’t mean for this to happen, she corrected.
I certainly don’t want to disappoint you, but I feel as if I should tell you before you buy a plane ticket. You’ve been a wonderful friend. I couldn’t have made it through the past eighteen months without you, which is why this is so hard for me. You made me feel attractive and desirable when I needed it most, gave me someone to think about and laugh with when there weren’t too many things I considered funny in my life. I hope you’ll continue to be my friend. I know I’ll always remember you fondly.
I wish you much happiness.
Love always,
Liz
She stared at the message. She was cutting her ties with Dave. Carter would run the senator’s campaign and move on, with all of his boxes in tow and then she’d have no love life at all. But she had to be fair.
Forcing herself to send the message, she shoved away from Carter’s computer. So many things were changing. She felt out of control and more than a little lost.
But when she made her way back to Carter’s bedroom and looked in on him, she smiled. Maybe, like the Lady of Shalott, she was making a catastrophic mistake.
Carter rolled over and the moonlight that filtered through the window lit his handsome face.
But it was a heck of a way to go.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Luanna asked, hugging the door even tighter than Randy had when Gordon made his previous surprise appearance.
Gordon took a good look at the woman who was still technically his wife, and scratched his whiskery cheeks. He’d gotten her out of bed. He could tell that easily enough. Her reddish hair—a color that came out of a bottle—stuck up on one side. She had a faint waffle impression on her cheek and mascara was smeared on the puffy bags under her eyes.
He knew he didn’t look much better. He hadn’t shaved for a few days. His beard itched unmercifully. And he’d slept in his clothes the night before. But somehow his appearance didn’t matter to him half as much as it usually did. After leaving Randy’s, he’d rented a cheap motel and drunk himself into a stupor. Problem was every time he sobered up he felt even worse. So that didn’t last. He’d awakened this morning with a raging headache, a cotton mouth and fresh determination to change his life.
“I came to get some stuff out of the attic,” he said.
“You’ll have to come back when Pete’s here.”
Her new lover. She’d met him at church, ironically enough.
“I’ve never laid a hand on you,” he said in disgust. “And I won’t touch you now. I just want to get Chloe’s things.”
“Chloe’s!” she blurted, obviously surprised.
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked. “After all, I was married to her once, remember?”
“How could I forget? She cheated on you, and I’m the one who got stuck raising the daughter she had as a result.”
“I wouldn’t pride myself on that if I were you,” he said. “You did a pretty shitty job.”
Her eyes widened. “She turned out okay, didn’t she?”
“Compared to your son she did.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining when I was the one doing all the work!”
“That was when I could see some good in you.”
Her jaw dropped, as if she didn’t quite know how to respond to his apparent change of heart. When she’d asked him to leave a few weeks earlier, he’d still been reeling from the shock of discovering Luanna had a boyfriend.
“You’re no better than I am,” she said.
He had to agree with her there. He’d wanted to blame Chloe and Randy for what had happened eighteen years ago. Lord knew he’d tried. But as muddled as his mind had been over the past several days, there had also been moments of clarity. Moments when he remembered flirting with his secretary at the law office and taking her out to lunch instead of inviting his wife. Moments when he remembered working extra long hours for the recognition he’d receive, instead of going home to spend time with her or give her a break from taking care of baby Isaac. Moments he remembered using what little money they had in those early years on golf with Randy instead of treating Chloe to the new dress she deserved. He’d taken her for
granted and trusted she’d always be there for him, no matter what.
Those were painful memories. They showed him that he, too, was responsible for what had happened, even though, in his weaker moments anyway, he still worked hard to deny the fact. It was easier to feel sorry for himself and place the blame on others than to acknowledge the role he’d played in creating the vacuum that surrounded Chloe during their early years together. He’d learned and improved as a husband. By the time Chloe died, they’d become quite close. But Liz had been fourteen by then.
“All I want is five minutes in the attic. I bought this house. Surely, you can give me that much.”
She hesitated, then stepped back and swung the door open. “Fine. Five minutes.”
He swept past her, took the stairs two at a time and accessed the pull-down ladder that led to the attic. Holiday decorations and some of the household items Luanna had owned before she’d married Gordon crowded the floor, but off in the corner he found several boxes labeled Chloe. Sliding them over to the ladder, he hauled them down one by one while Luanna watched.
“What are you hoping to find in all that?” she asked.
He studied her for a moment. “The reasons I loved her in the first place.”
“What about me?” she asked sulkily.
Gordon felt as if he was seeing Luanna clearly for the first time. “I don’t know why I loved you,” he said honestly and left.
THE CHOCOLATERIE WAS CROWDED. Along with the senator, Celeste, Isaac, Reenie, Jennifer, Angela, Isabella, Mica and Christopher, half the town had turned out, including Kenny and Brent, Gabe’s kids. As the initial babble of voices grew to a low roar, Liz grinned excitedly at Carter, who’d gotten up early to drive her to town. He’d spent two hours just before she’d opened The Chocolaterie at the hardware store, and had come back to show her what he’d bought and what he could do with the materials at the shop. He’d told Liz his first project would involve some more built-in cabinetry. She knew she couldn’t afford it and she tried to tell him so, but he told her not to worry about the money. He also brought her breakfast from the diner and insisted she eat.
“You did all this, Mommy?” Mica said, her voice full of awe.
Liz hugged her daughter to her side. “Me and Mr. Hudson.”
Mica could hardly contain herself. “It looks so beautiful!”
“I love the chocolate gummy worms,” Christopher said. The smeared chocolate on his face confirmed the fact.
Liz almost told him not to overdo it with the candy, but simply laughed instead. She had trays of samples circulating. She knew she should probably be trying to sell the treats she was giving away. But these people were her friends, and she was anxious for them to try everything she’d created. As she poured cup after cup of hot cocoa and heard the moans of pleasure and the compliments echoing around her, she was certain this was one of the best days of her life.
She felt Carter noticing her every move and turned to smile at him again. When their eyes met, their encounter late last night came rushing back to her. She could tell by his crooked grin that he was probably remembering exactly the same thing. Or maybe he was thinking about what had happened in the shower this morning just after they’d woken up….
Shaking her head, she chuckled. He winked at her, then sobered and nodded toward the door.
She followed his gaze to see Keith and his parents come in. Her ex-husband was carrying a bouquet of flowers. When he saw her, he smiled widely, as if relations between them hadn’t been strained, especially for the past ten days or so, and brought over his gift. “Congratulations,” he said and gave her a hug.
“A dozen red roses,” Georgia said, as if Liz couldn’t see that for herself.
“They’re lovely,” she murmured. Aware of Carter’s keen interest in the flowers, she cleared her throat, thanked Keith politely and used the excuse of finding a vase to slip away from him and his parents.
“You’ve attracted quite a crowd.”
Liz looked up to find Mary hovering at her elbow. “Who’s watching your store?” she asked.
“My mother.”
“How’s business over at your place?”
“Great. Standing-room only.”
If that were true, Mary would be basking in the glory of it all rather than inspecting the competition. But Liz wasn’t about to check up on her. If Mary wasn’t having the same success, she didn’t want to know about it. She didn’t want anything to mar her happiness right now. “It must be that ad we ran, huh?”
“I guess.” Mary studied the elaborate displays Liz had worked so hard on the night before. “Where’d you get these old-fashioned cabinets?”
“At a garage sale in Boise. I’ve been storing them in my garage.”
Mary pulled her gaze away. “So, did you ever catch the person who ripped your sink from the wall?”
Liz hadn’t thought of the vandal since Carter had repaired everything. “No, why?”
“Someone was lurking in the parking lot last night when I was closing up. He seemed to be keeping a pretty good eye on your place.”
Was Mary simply trying to wreck the moment? “Who was it?” Liz asked.
“I didn’t recognize him. He didn’t look like he was from around here. He was wearing really baggy clothes and a hooded sweatshirt.”
“Did you approach him?”
“I tried. I wanted to get his name. But the moment he spotted me, he got in his car and drove off.”
“What kind of car was he driving?”
“An old Toyota truck.”
That hardly narrowed down the list of suspects. Almost everyone in these parts owned a truck, and there were lots of Toyotas. “Thanks. I’ll keep a lookout for suspicious activity.”
“I drove by again late last night, just to make sure the place was secure.”
A tremor of foreboding slithered through Liz. “Did you see anything?”
“Carter’s car parked in the lot next to yours,” she said and smiled as if she’d witnessed a lot more than that.
“He’s been a lot of help to me,” Liz said in an effort to throw her off the trail. She knew it hadn’t worked when Mary responded. “I wish he’d lend me a hand every now and then.” She laughed conspiratorially, but when Liz didn’t laugh with her, her expression changed and she said she had to get back to her store.
Liz felt a little unsettled as she watched Mary go. Mary must’ve seen Liz and Carter kiss. Or maybe she saw them come out of the shop with their clothes askew. For all Liz knew, she could’ve had her skirt tucked inside her panties and her blouse buttoned the wrong way. She’d had eyes only for Carter.
In any case, Mary probably knew his involvement had extended to more than the chocolate shop, which meant it wouldn’t be long before the whole town heard about it.
Liz wished she could keep her relationship with Carter private. She didn’t want Keith to make an issue out of what was happening, didn’t want it to adversely affect her children. Especially when everything was still so new and uncertain—and temporary.
“What’s wrong?” Georgia asked, sidling closer.
Liz finished arranging the roses. “Mary saw someone lurking in the parking lot last night.”
“Lurking?” she repeated.
“Her word, not mine.”
“Why would anyone lurk in the parking lot of a store that hasn’t even opened yet?”
“That’s what I’d like to know,” she said.
GORDON SAT ON THE BED in his dingy motel room, listening to the steady drip of a leaky showerhead as he opened the first box of Chloe’s belongings. He felt as if he had a lump the size of a football in his stomach and he had a sudden reluctance to proceed. But he wouldn’t let himself force Chloe back into the corners of his mind the way he’d shoved her belongings into a corner of the attic.
He’d showered—it had seemed irreverent to paw through her things without cleaning up a bit first—but he could still smell alcohol oozing from his pores and it sickened him. God, how had
he let himself sink so low? Low enough to hurt Liz and Isaac. Low enough to say something he could never take back.
Briefly closing his eyes, he licked his lips, which were cracked and dried from sleeping with his mouth open, and pulled out the scrapbook Chloe had made for him before they were married. Inside, he found pictures of them both at eighteen, nineteen and twenty. Pictures with Randy and Kristen sitting on the hood of his first Buick. Pictures of him and Randy smoking cigarettes and laughing into the camera lens. Pictures of the cake Chloe had made him for his birthday—which he’d teased her unmercifully about because it had slumped to a half inch on one side.
She was so pretty in those pictures that she stole his breath….
The life in her bright smile was almost mesmerizing. He touched her image as if he could feel, once again, the softness of her cheek, the curl of her hair around his forefinger.
How he missed her. Such a terrible longing crept through him that he had to close the book in order to recover.
They’d started out right, hadn’t they? They’d been in love, optimistic, intent on building a family.
He pulled out a different book, a baby book that showed Chloe just before Isaac was born. He’d been excited to have a son, he remembered, but not really ready for the change it’d make in their lives. Chloe had gotten pregnant so soon. They’d had to move across the country, away from both their families so he could attend school, and because she had so much difficulty carrying Isaac, she’d been bedridden most of the time. To make matters worse, they’d been extremely poor.
Gordon knew his wife had suffered from depression the first few years of their marriage. The reality of their lives had fallen far short of the dream, and Chloe hadn’t had school and work to fill her days as Gordon had. But she never complained.
