by Brenda Novak
He wished now that she had.
Rubbing a thumb over his freshly shaved chin, he turned to the back of the book. Isaac, at one and two, stared back at him, his chubby face smeared with icing or Magic Markers or dirt, but always wearing a smile. Chloe was smiling right beside him, but for the first time, Gordon could read the strain in her eyes. He could see the way she was looking at him, when she didn’t expect to be caught by the camera—as if she needed so much more than he was giving her—and his gut ached with regret.
He’d been young and stupid and too preoccupied with his own needs to love her as he should have.
Luanna’s cutting words came back to him. How could I forget? She cheated on you….
Maybe that was true, but Luanna wasn’t half the woman Chloe was. Deep down, Gordon had known that all along, despite what had happened with Randy. He’d just never wanted to deal with the pain that accompanied really thinking about the situation. And as long as he kept some semblance of a life going, he could avoid that easily enough.
But now he had no way to camouflage the truth. He’d let Chloe down even more than she’d let him down, hadn’t he? Liz was the only true innocent of the three of them, and as Isaac had always said, Gordon had done nothing to protect her from Luanna’s cruelty.
Gordon picked up a greeting card that was stuck between the pages of the photo album. It was an anniversary card from Chloe. He wasn’t sure exactly what year she’d given it to him, but when he opened it, he realized the date didn’t matter. It could’ve been from any year.
“I know we’re not perfect, Gordon. I know our marriage could use some work. But I love you. And because I love you, I can give you this promise—I won’t give up.”
THE MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND flew by for Liz. She kept her kids with her, helping out at the shop, and she was pleasantly surprised at how politely they greeted people and assisted her, even at their young ages. Tourists from the Running Y streamed through her store, along with the locals, and they bought so much that Liz had to stay up late each night to make enough candy to carry her through the weekend. Keith came by at closing time to pick up the kids so she could finish her work. Then, because they were already asleep at Keith’s, Liz went to Carter’s. She knew she risked giving away their relationship. Mary didn’t seem to be spreading the word as rapidly as expected. But the fact that she was never home to answer her phone at night would be suspicious to Keith, if he ever tried to call her. Still, she couldn’t stop herself. She didn’t want to hear from Dave, knew it would be difficult to explain how quickly and completely she’d gotten involved with Carter. And she didn’t want to waste the opportunity. The day when he’d leave town already seemed too close.
By eight o’clock Monday evening, Liz was happy but exhausted. The past three days had been beyond everything she’d hoped for. Now, she wanted to close up shop and take her kids home, but Mica had invited her father to try a treat she’d made herself—giant chocolate and caramel–covered graham crackers—and he’d only just arrived.
“You’re the talk of the town,” Keith told her, and she smiled as she thought of her favorite movie. Vianne had been the talk of the town, too. Fortunately, Liz had more support than Vianne had enjoyed.
“I think most everyone liked my candy.”
“All except Mary. I heard her tell someone your chocolate isn’t any better than what she’s selling.”
Liz was glad that was all Mary was saying. “I guess you can’t please everyone.”
“Carter sure spent a lot of his weekend here,” he said.
“He’ll be doing a few more projects for me around the shop.”
“Is it anything I can do?”
“No, as fate would have it, he’s a good finish carpenter.”
“Mr. Hudson?” Mica asked.
Liz nodded.
“I gave him one of my own candies, and he said it was the best thing he’s ever tasted.” Mica adjusted her glasses. “Actually he said it was the second best thing he’s ever tasted. He wouldn’t tell me what the best thing was.”
Liz couldn’t help coloring. She remembered Carter saying that, and the significant glance they’d exchanged at the time. He’d been talking about her. She tasted better to him.
Turning away, she continued to clean the counters and put the unsold chocolates into the pantry. “He must’ve liked my hot chocolate, eh?”
“That’s not it,” Mica said, still trying to puzzle it out.
“He’s been all over the country. Second best to a man like that isn’t bad,” Liz said.
“Second best always sucks,” Keith said, his sullen tone indicating he was talking about his current status with Liz.
Facing him, she met his gaze squarely. “Tell me about it.”
He flushed at how easily she was able to turn his own words back on him. “You were never second best,” he argued.
Liz lifted a hand. “Stop. At least have the dignity to be honest about it. You loved Reenie best. If she were single now, you’d probably still be knocking at her door.”
Christopher was oblivious to the conversation. He was too busy campaigning for more chocolate. But Mica’s eyes grew round, and she glanced worriedly between them as if she expected an argument to erupt.
Liz regretted what she’d said, but only because she’d said it in front of her daughter.
An unfamiliar expression flickered over Keith’s face. Ever since Liz had learned of Reenie’s existence she’d felt Keith’s partiality to his first wife. Ultimately his actions had established his preferences—in the minds of almost everyone. Mary Thornton was a case in point. But Liz had never stated it quite so matter-of-factly, as if it no longer mattered to her.
Because it didn’t. Not anymore. Maybe that was what Keith sensed, why he looked so crestfallen.
“You have a thing for Carter, don’t you?” he asked.
Liz angled her head toward their children. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“Just give me a yes or no.”
“I—like him,” she said, registering a moment’s relief when she heard the back door open. She wondered if maybe Mary Thornton was coming over to assess the weekend and suggest future joint ventures in advertising. But it wasn’t Mary. It was Carter.
He pulled up short when everyone turned to stare at him. Obviously, he was as surprised to see Keith there as Keith was to see him.
The resentment in Keith’s face would have intimidated a less intrepid soul. Fortunately, Carter didn’t seem bothered. His movements became more deliberate, perhaps, but he still crossed the floor and kissed Liz on the temple, as he would have done if they’d been alone. “I brought you some strawberries.”
She’d sold out of chocolate-covered strawberries around noon, and Finley’s Grocery didn’t sell the large berries she required. “With the stem?” she asked, seizing this topic because it was entirely unrelated to Keith and Carter and the tension buzzing between them.
“I went to Boise,” he said. “Got you some other stuff, too, while I was there and could buy in bulk. Sugar. Flour. Powdered sugar. They had a giant bag of pretzels, so I bought it, just in case.”
Liz nodded. “Pretzels. Good. They’ll be great covered in chocolate.”
“Are you my mommy’s boyfriend?” Mica asked, studying him closely.
The mention of a boyfriend finally caught Christopher’s attention. He stopped wandering around the shop, greedily ogling all the goodies, and scowled at his sister. “Mommies don’t have boyfriends.”
“Yes, they do,” Mica argued. “Angela’s mom married Uncle Isaac, didn’t she? Our mom could get married again, too, silly.”
“To Daddy?” he asked, confused.
“You don’t need to worry about it,” Liz assured them. “Mommy’s not getting married. Mommy’s already married to her new business.” It seemed like the safest response, but Keith didn’t appear any happier despite her ingenious reply.
“He might look good to you now,” he said. “But you don’t know him ver
y well. And everyone has their problems.” He shoved away from the table and stood. “Maybe when he walks off and leaves you behind you’ll be ready to forgive me.”
He strode out without another word, leaving Mica and Christopher staring uncertainly at Liz. Carter gazed after Keith, his face a mask.
“Daddy’s not happy,” Chris said sadly.
“Daddy has no right to be mad,” Mica told her little brother. The anger she’d felt toward her father when they’d first arrived in Dundee had dissipated, however, and now she was merely acknowledging the truth.
“Hey, we’re celebrating,” Liz reminded them, in an effort to recapture the festive mood. “I’ve launched The Chocolaterie and everyone seems to love it.”
“Does that mean I can have another peanut-butter cup?” Christopher asked, immediately recognizing the fact that he suddenly had an advantage.
“I don’t know,” Liz said, trying to be firm. She didn’t want her children to overindulge just because she was in the candy business. But still…
“Those peanut-butter cups are pretty big,” Carter said. “Maybe they could split one.”
Liz hadn’t expected Carter to side with her son, but when Chris sidled closer to his new ally as if they stood together on the issue, Liz relented. “Okay.”
Chris’s mouth stretched into a broad grin that revealed two missing teeth. “Thanks!” he said to Carter, and as he and Mica ran over to the counter, they seemed to forget their daddy’s angry departure.
With a sigh of relief, Liz met Carter’s gaze just before he went to cut the peanut-butter cup in half. “He’s right, you know,” he said.
“About what?” she asked.
“Everyone has their problems.”
She knew that. And she knew Carter had more than most.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
AFTER SPENDING THREE DAYS at the shop and three nights at Carter’s cabin, Liz’s house felt unnatural to her, as though it had been shut up after a death in the family. The unpleasant things she’d shoved to the back of her mind floated to the surface—the way her father had left, what he’d said, images of her mother and what she must’ve been like at thirty-one, the age she’d been when she’d gotten pregnant for the second and final time.
Liz put her children down for the night, then tiptoed around the place, exhausted and yet reluctant to go to bed. She knew sleeping alone would feel odd after having Carter’s warm body curled around hers. Besides, she felt obligated to check her e-mail to see if Dave had responded to her last message. He hadn’t left anything on her answering machine. But, at her request, he typically didn’t, in case Mica listened to the message before Liz could.
Taking a glass of lemonade with her to the computer in the guest bedroom, she sat down and signed on. Sure enough, there was a message from Dave waiting for her. Three, actually. There was also a message from Carter.
She opened Carter’s first. It was short but sweet.
It’s lonely in the tower tonight.
She grinned. Tennyson’s poem. But he was right—his cabin was like a medieval tower into which the rest of the world did not intrude.
“The curse is come upon me,” she quoted. The way Keith had stormed out of her shop and the confusion on Christopher’s face afterward proved to Liz that seeing Carter was already complicating her life.
Should she tell him that she didn’t want to continue seeing him? Or should she admit that she could still smell him on her skin, that she held her arm to her nose every now and then just to breathe him in? That when she closed her eyes, she remembered the warmth of his bare chest next to her cheek, rising and falling in his sleep? That she smiled whenever she pictured his smile?
“No to all of the above,” she muttered. She knew she’d break down and be with him again, so telling him it was over seemed pointless. She wasn’t about to volunteer what kind of an effect he had on her. That was a little too much information this early in the relationship. So she looked up “The Lady of Shalott,” reread the poem and sent him a response to his lonely tower line.
The broad stream bore her far away, the Lady of Shalott.
After hitting Send, she took a deep breath and, figuring she might as well deal with the other messages in chronological order, opened Dave’s first e-mail.
He’d written: You’re joking, right? You’ve got to be joking….
That was it, but obviously it wasn’t his final thought because he’d sent her two messages after the first.
The second one read: It’s my age, isn’t it? You’ve never really given us a chance.
Their age difference bothered her, but she had other concerns, as well. What amazed her was that she had concerns about Carter, too, and yet she’d just spent three nights making love with him until they were too exhausted to keep their eyes open another minute.
Dave’s final e-mail was longer:
I want to talk to you before you make up your mind for good, okay? I’m not the same man you knew when you were in California. You should realize that by now. We’re not talking about one quick weekend in Vegas. We’ve been calling and writing each other for a year and a half. That’s a long time to get to know someone. A long time to establish a strong foundation for a permanent relationship.
Since you wrote, I haven’t been able to think about anything else. Maybe I’m slow coming to this, but I’m in love with you, Liz. If you did this to see if I really care—I do.
Dave
Liz blinked and reread the second to the last line. I’m in love with you, Liz…. She scrolled down, looking for one of his infamous jokes as a postscript, but he’d ended there. As if he was serious. As if he meant it.
She gave a low whistle. What could she say to that? She thought she probably “loved” Dave—but she knew she wasn’t in love with him. Meeting Carter had cleared up any confusion in that arena.
She tried to form a reply, but she couldn’t come up with a better reason for suddenly ending their relationship than the one she’d already given him. He lived too far away, he was too young for her, and she was already involved in what, at best, could be described as a summer fling with someone else. She and Dave had argued about his age and the distance between them enough. He wouldn’t concede those points. And the last one…
Well, she didn’t really want to go into that. She wasn’t sure enough of the future to use Carter as a reason for anything. So she went back to the issue of distance.
Maybe it’s a mistake to cut you loose. You’re a great catch, a fabulous guy. And I’ll always care about you. But my life is going in a different direction. I won’t be moving back to L.A. for years. She thought of her shop and then added: if ever, and you certainly don’t want to move to a small town in Idaho. What chance do we really have?
It was more of the same old stuff. But she sent the e-mail anyway, then checked, out of habit, to see if any messages had come in while she’d been deliberating.
To her surprise, Carter had already sent a reply: I can save you.
Chuckling, Liz rubbed her tired eyes. She wished someone would save her—from herself. Spotting an instant message on her screen, she dropped her hand.
CHudson1973: I bought some of the candles you like.
Carter. Her smile broadened. Vanilla?
CHudson1973: Vanilla bean. I guess the “bean” part is important. Makes them gourmet.
Luvs Chocolat: LOL Bet they smell great.
CHudson1973: Not as good as you.
Luvs Chocolat: You’re just trying to coax me back into your bed.
CHudson1973: Is it working?
Luvs Chocolat: I’m thinking about it.
CHudson1973: Could you think over here?
Luvs Chocolat: If I had a babysitter.
CHudson1973: I could call Keith.
Luvs Chocolat: Right.
CHudson1973: Okay, maybe not. But I wanted you to see the place. I unpacked some boxes.
Luvs Chocolat: This is news.
CHudson1973: Figured I’ve got quite a while her
e. Months. Might as well get comfortable.
Luvs Chocolat: Are you mentioning that as another ploy to get me into bed?
CHudson1973: I must be more transparent than I thought.
Not exactly. She knew hardly anything about him, and he seemed content to keep it that way.
Luvs Chocolat: Maybe you’re not the easiest guy in the world to figure out, but you’re good. I have to hand you that.
CHudson1973: Good in what way?
Luvs Chocolat: Fishing for compliments?
CHudson1973: Hoping you’ll talk dirty to me.
Luvs Chocolat: Are you kidding? I know where that will lead. Thanks for the things you bought today, by the way. How much do I owe you?
CHudson1973: Getting uncomfortable with the conversation?
Luvs Chocolat: With what the conversation is making me feel.
CHudson1973: What if I’m feeling the same way?
Luvs Chocolat: There are other considerations.
CHudson1973: There don’t have to be. I could come to you.
Luvs Chocolat: I wouldn’t want Mica or Christopher to wake up and find a man in the house.
There was a slight delay, but Carter finally responded with an Okay.
Luvs Chocolat: You didn’t tell me how much I owe you for the supplies.
CHudson1973: Dinner.
Luvs Chocolat: When?
CHudson1973: Tomorrow night.
Luvs Chocolat: I have to work.
CHudson1973: You also have to eat. Close up for an hour. I want you.
Luvs Chocolat: You mean you want to see me?
