Seeking Evil (Looking Into The Mind Of A Killer Series)

by Mary Eason

  “Oh, John…” She pulled him down, kissing his cheeks, his lips, his eyes. “I need you,” he said hoarsely, his lips meeting hers in pure demand now, his big body shaking, his hips jerking against her. He held her head to his, taking her mouth in a kiss that was more desperate than artful. She drowned in him, trying to hold him tight.

  She ached to say the words but she couldn’t, not with him devouring her. She could only will him to feel them, even as her heart and body began to rise. He moved over her, desperate passion removing any kind of finesse as he pumped ruthlessly into her. She took him, meeting him, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him.

  He broke the kiss, burying his face in her neck, rising to his knees and lifting her onto his lap to thrust harder, stealing her breath but not her will. “Love me, Anna.” She reached for him, sobbing herself when his hands met hers and took hold, stretching her arms over her head. Raw emotions swirled through her. She realized then, that was part of what had gone wrong. Even here, at their most open and intimate, he had hidden from her. Closed her out.

  She couldn’t shut him or her feelings out if she tried, the truth in her heart spilled free.

  “Yes.” Thought disappeared in the white heat of their passion. There was only the building tension, the need spiraling through them and finally, the breaking snap when she came apart around him, the clenching grip of her body dragging him with her over the edge, his shout of completion stifled against her skin as she smiled into his hair. They were both shaking this time, his arms so tight around her she could barely breathe, but she didn’t care. She realized he was whispering something, words tearing free as if ripping right from his soul…and tearing hers right along with him. “I've missed you…”

  * * * * *

  Everything was the same and yet nothing would ever be as it was before he’d touched her again. He glanced down at the woman in his arms.

  Sound was magnified. His breathing roared against his ears. Renewed need coursed through his body like wildfire. Outside the door, the dog let out a worried whimper. And filtered moonlight reflected his arousal, along with her uncertainty. Part of her still didn’t trust him fully. He could see that. The thought hurt to consider but it didn’t kill the craving. Or the curiosity.

  “Are you okay?” he asked over the thudding of his heart pounding in his ears.

  “Yes.” Anna drew in a breath and tried to steady her voice. “Yes, I’m okay.”

  He wanted her again. His body hardened at her nearness. While he hesitated, arguing with himself, Anna took the decision out of his hands. She twisted in his arms until she sat on top of him, straddling his rock-hard cock.

  His gaze slid over her slowly, his body reaching closer to the breaking point. Tension soon became the only barrier left between them.

  “You’re so sexy, John.” Her arms circled his waist. She leaned close enough to touch her lips against his, her full breasts scraping his taut chest, robbing him of breath. His hands cupped her shoulders, prolonging the kiss, pressing her body closer.

  “You feel so good. It’s been so long.” She lifted her head to look at him. “There’s never been anyone since you, John.”

  God, it killed him that this piece of news thrilled him. His only regret was that he couldn’t answer as honestly. His hands stroked over her silken flesh. He gripped her hips as she pressed her moist and ready body hard against his erection.

  He didn’t give her time to change her mind. She was wet and ready for him. His fingers stroked her pussy then slipped inside. Anna arched against his stroking, her eyes slitted.

  John waited until the climax passed, his throbbing hard penis demanding retribution. He pushed inside her willing body then rolled her over on her back.

  “It’s always been good between us,” he whispered in her ear before his mouth claimed hers once again. His lips devoured hers, filling him with a hunger he’d denied for so long. One that only she could quench.

  “God, I can’t get enough of you.”

  Anna trembled with each stroke, each kiss. Each word. Her legs circled his waist, her fingers digging into his shoulders, urging him on.

  The last of John’s control slipped away into a long, low groan. His body lunged within her, her kisses and her soft murmurings becoming an intoxicating drug, stealing all rational thought from him. And yet it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t get close enough.

  The fear and uncertainty melted away with each thrust, each kiss. And the world around them was reduced to just the space of one bed, two people. One moment.

  “You feel so good,” he whispered once more against her ear, his teeth grazing along the pulse point at the base of her throat. John’s hands clutched her thighs, shifting her further beneath his weight, allowing him to plunge deeper within her warmth.

  Each thrust gave more pleasure and brought him closer to losing his fragile control. He could feel her body tightening and releasing around his. Watching her pleasure, the pressure within him spiraled out of control. A thousand different convulsions rocketed through his body. Anna’s broken whimper mingled with his groan of satisfaction. His hands framed her face. His mouth captured her cries of surrender into a kiss.

  She said something so softly that he didn’t catch the words. He rolled over onto his back, taking her with him. Gathering her close, he waited for the world around them to stop spinning once more.

  It wouldn’t matter how many times he made love to her, it would never be enough. A year was a long time to need someone this badly.

  Chapter Eleven

  There could be no stopping it now. No turning back. The deed was done. The note sent. Soon, the whole world would know their dirty secrets. A light had been shone into the darkness. The monster that lived within its recesses couldn’t survive the warmth of the light of truth. Once it was over, the world would see the terror she’d survived. They’d understand. They had to.

  But would her family? Would God? She’d prayed. Her knees were as bloody as her body was bruised. She’d done everything she could for God’s forgiveness. It was now up to him.

  She’d been strong. She’d outsmarted him. He’d thought her simple, but she’d gotten the better of him.

  The knife shook in her hand as she raised it high above her head. She’d waited until he slept to play out the final scene. For a moment, as she considered the consequences, her courage stumbled, but only for the length in time it took to say a tiny prayer then plunge the knife home with deadly accuracy, the first of many times.

  A bloody smile touched her lips. She’d won. God had answered her prayers after all. The monster had finally met his match.

  * * * * *

  Anna sat up in bed, gasping for air. She could feel the knife. Her fear. The pain. The terror the monster instilled in her.

  “Anna? Are you all right?” John’s strong arms tightened around her protectively.

  Anna struggled to remember it was just a dream. She wasn’t her. “Yes, I’m okay.”

  He didn’t believe her. “Are you sure? You’re trembling. Come, lie back down. It was only a dream.”

  She let him gather her close and she clung to him because he was warm and real. And not part of the dream. John was real, the dream was just part of Anna's…no, her troubled past.

  When Anna awoke again sometime just before dawn, she was still wrapped in John’s arms. The dream still fresh and real even with the dawning of a new day. She’d needed John’s strength. His body, his warmth, to make her feel human again.

  Regrets were everywhere around her, making it impossible to remain in bed next to him.

  Her body screamed to life along with all of her buried needs. For the life of her, she wanted to wake John up and make love to him again. It was always this physical between them, which was all the more reason why she couldn’t stay in bed with him. What she and John shared had nothing to do with love. Love wasn’t this combustible. Love was gentle. Like the kind of love you shared with Aaron? The truth mocked her.

  Anna slid out o
f bed, gathered her scattered clothing, and then slipped into the tiny bathroom down the hall. She did her best to ignore the woman in the mirror condemning her, showered and dressed, then went in search of coffee.

  She had just started the pot when John found her. He’d dressed in jeans and nothing more. His bare chest hard and defined. Tempting.

  “You’re up early,” he said from the doorway.

  She turned away from the temptation he represented and poured coffee. “Would you like some?”

  He read the gesture for what it was. An attempt at dodging the confrontation that was sure to follow.

  John ignored her question. “What is it? Are you worried that what happened between us will get in the way of the case?”

  Anna steeled herself to say the things she needed to say to him. She had to define their relationship, clarify the boundaries. She’d muddied them last night.

  “John, what happened between us last night was great, but it was a mistake. You know it was.” She hated the small hint of pleading in her tone. She turned back to him.

  He left his position against the door and came to her, his eyes never leaving hers. “Mistake? What are you talking about? What happened between us last night and before was no mistake, even though you may want to deny it.”

  Anna shook her head. “No, that’s not the truth. And even if it were it doesn’t matter. It can’t happen again.”

  His frustration was clear in his tone. “Anna, why can’t accept that we have something special. I care for you. It was the same back then. It still is. I know you care for me as well. Stop fighting it.”

  She couldn’t look at him and not want to believe him. “No, whatever is between us, is just physical, some residual feelings from the past. This case, seeing each other again, has brought it all back, but that’s it.”

  John reached for her, but she backed away.

  “You don’t believe that,” he said, the hurt in his eyes hard to take.

  “I do. John, I do. We don’t have a future together. Our lives are as different as we are.” Anna tried to soften the force of her words. “John, what happened last night was wonderful. We both needed it, but it’s over. Let’s just leave it at that and move on. We have a case to solve. Time is running out.”

  She saw how difficult this was for him to accept and part of her was thrilled. “All right. I guess I can’t force you to admit how you feel, but, Anna, you do feel something. You can deny it all you want.” He held up a hand when she would have argued. “Let’s leave it for now because you’re right. We need to get started on the case. I’ve had Rick send over the records for all the victims. We have a lot of work to do.”

  John disappeared for a moment and came back carrying a stack of files. “This is everything. All the case files. And the medical records.”

  He hesitated then sat down across from her at the kitchen table. Anna needed space to think clearly without John’s image invading every inch of her mind.

  “John…”

  “I know. You need me to leave, but I thought you might have questions.”

  She met his gaze. He knew what she wanted to know.

  “It’s not there, Anna. Whatever you think you’re going to find out about Aaron’s secrets aren’t going to be found in these files.”

  Anna tried to get into his head. “Why? Did you remove his notes?”

  Anna could see the fact that she couldn’t trust him didn’t set well with John. He shook his head. “No, I didn’t take anything out of the files. All of Aaron’s notes are in there. There’s nothing. I know. I’ve gone over them a thousand times.”

  Anna dropped the file she’d been using as a shield to shut out his image. “Then why don’t we just stop playing games and you tell me what I want to know.”

  That shot in the dark rewarded her with the truth. He knew something. Even if he wasn’t prepared to share it with her. “I don’t know what you want me to say. If Aaron didn’t want you to know what was going on in his life then what makes you think I can shed light on it?”

  “John, dammit, you owe me.”

  He got to his feet. “Read the files, Anna. I’ve got work to do myself.”

  He turned and left her staring after him, more frustrated than ever before.

  * * * * *

  Anna had been at it for hours without any luck. By early afternoon, she abandoned the files altogether. She'd managed only a barebones profile worked out of the killer. Not much to go on.

  “Want some lunch?” John appeared in the doorway as if he’d known what she was thinking.

  She accepted his peace offering. “Yes, but I need to stretch my legs more. It looks like a beautiful day out there. Can we walk? I know Gemma’s sick of being cooped up.”

  He hesitated then nodded. “Sure, I don’t see why not. This place is secure enough.” John reached for his weapon and followed Anna out the door.

  The scent of the ocean reminded her of the house she’d left behind. While she pretended to enjoy her new life in Florida, in truth, the house wasn’t a home. It was just somewhere to hide from the world.

  Anna and John walked in silence for a while, until the waters of the ocean came into view.

  “Do you come here often?” Anna wasn’t ready to discuss the case yet. John understood that need.

  “Yes, well, as often as I can, that is. A couple of times a year. It helps clear the images away.”

  She nodded. Of all people, she could relate. “Aaron told me you inherited the place from your dad.”

  He smiled at that. “That’s right. It’s about the only thing my dad ever did right, well, except for the truck. ”

  Aaron had told her once that John and his dad had never really gotten along. He’d deserted his son and wife when John was a teenager and had drifted from one crazy get-rich scheme to another. She wondered why John still held onto the truck and house.

  “Did Aaron ever come here with you?” Anna didn't know why she insisted on opening that sore. Aaron might be the one thing Anna and John truly had in common, still, it was not a good subject considering the night they’d spent together.

  “No. Aaron wasn’t really into fishing and I can’t picture him here. Can you?”

  That made her smile. She couldn't either. Aaron was smart. An intellectual. Roughing it wouldn’t compute for him. “No, not really.”

  She cleared her throat. She was ready to talk about the case.

  “You’re looking for a while male, forty to fifty in age. He’s got a deep seated connection to each of the victims. Or at least he believes he has a deep connection. The number of stab wounds seems to indicate rage, but I believe it’s more than rage. I think he’s extremely frustrated. He’s looking for something or likely someone. Each new victim has been a disappointment. He hasn’t found what he’s looking for yet. John, this is personal for him. Very personal. The last note he sent to me indicates he believes there’s a romantic connection of some kind between us. Obviously, it has something to do with the transplants. I can only assume he relates to this in some way. Perhaps he’s lost someone in such a manner. He’s no doubt from the area, since all of the victims have been from this region. Do you have the transplant records yet?”

  “No. We’re still working the legal side of it. There’s a certain belief of anonymity expected by the transplant donor’s family. One that requires a judge’s ruling.”

  “That won’t be easy.”

  “No. You know we’ll be getting yours as well, don’t you?”

  She did know. She would have expected no less. “Yes. I can give you my consent if it will make it easier for you?”

  “It can’t hurt. Unfortunately, the donor’s family will be the main issue here. Anything else jump out at you?”

  Anna carried Gemma in her arms until they reached the shore then she turned Gemma loose on her leash and let the dog prowl along the water’s edge.

  “No, I’m sorry, John, but without the transplant records we’re operating under assumptions. And time is
running out. I can feel it.”

  John, of all people, understood her fears. He took her in his arms. She let him. She desperately needed his strength.

  “Anna, I won’t let him hurt you. You’re safe. I’d sooner die than let anything happen to you again.”

  It hurt to hear him say those words. “Don’t say that. I don’t want anything to happen to you. That’s not what I want.”

  His gaze slipped over her, so serious. “I mean it, Anna. I won’t let him near you again.”

  Through all her fears, the last year spent in an emotional prison, and even now running for her life, the seriousness of what faced them both finally sank in.

  She wrapped her arms around his waist. She wanted to be close to him. The one thing from her past that had been good.

  They stood holding each other close for a long time until John’s cell phone shrilled to life, breaking the spell. He released her and unclipped it from his belt. A cold breeze swept from the ocean between them. Ana shivered as he watched her while talking.

  “How long?” he asked, his gaze holding hers.

  Gemma tugged against Anna's hand, chasing some poor helpless crustacean out to sea.

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  John flipped the phone closed. “Rick is confident they’ll have all the legal roadblocks gone by end of day. We’ll have the donor’s records. We’re almost there, Anna.”

  He reached for her hand and held it.

  They started back toward the cabin still holding hands with Gemma tugging against Anna's other hand. “Good. Because we don’t have a hell of a lot of time left, John. He’ll have figured out that I’m gone by now if he wasn’t watching the house. It won’t take him long to figure out the connection between you and me, if he hasn’t already, and he’ll be expecting you to stash me somewhere out of the way. It won’t be a reach for him to find this place. He’ll know where you’ve taken me soon. He’s smart, John. Cunning. Don’t sell him short. He probably has an IQ off the charts.”